Tuesday, July 14, 2009

[a cat with no name. a cat afraid of the rain.]

more photos from Esther!



Hearts on Fire Rally :D




Amplify Friday :D

oh, finally got SOME of the photos from the class outing!












fellow saikang warrior's sad bear bear face. hahaha AWWW. so cute.






haha i can't stop laughing at Ding Xuan's BHB shirt which says "BECAUSE EVERYBODY JUST WANTS TO BE LIKE ME..." BHB LAR.



nemo's happy face hah.







Wenbin spoil the photo lar.








Dory and Nemo.



Alson or Wilton. hahaha Wilson's head, Alton's body. nice composition huh? hahahaha





cam wars!








1S19 for you <3

this class is great :)

and i'm super tiredddddd....

my teeth are still not okay :(

Sunday, July 12, 2009

[hearts on fire rally.]

firstly, MORE PHOTOS. (okay. blogger is not throwing tantrums today :D)

bag-buying day







STUDY STUDY STUDY (10 july 2009)





HEARTS ON FIRE RALLY!!!




SRJC 20th College Day



haha saikang day. but i ate a lot lar. Mdm Wong and her yellow flower :D

21ST YISS: RESCUED BY LOVE <3



ESTHER <3

---------------------------------

hearts on fire rally last night. it was awesome. really awesome. went with Esther, Ange, Isaac and their church mates. but i ran into a lot of people, people from YI, Chris, Gretchen, etc.

i dont know why but i cried so much. like so so much. i didnt really feel sad, i just couldn't stop.

last night i prayed for so much. for the friends who are going through tough times, for my family, for so much and i felt like i was asking God to heal them as well even though they were not there.

whenever i hear "As long as there is God, everything will be okay", i just start to cry.

i didnt know why i cried so much. and sometimes i dont know what i keep inside. whether it's a lot or even a little. everytime God opens up my heart, i know that all of it is just pouring out (although i still dont know what). i just know it. that so much i have chosen to block out of my life, like running away, to ignore until i forget, was just being slowly pulled out of my heart like that.

and i know, God has his amazing ways to do that. cause i know it myself that i did keep a lot inside, so much i'm becoming numb. He's slowly helping me to open up and healing me of all these things that are numbing me.

but i assure you, i felt so happy and thankful to God after all that crying. He always manages to touch my life in His wondrous and amazing ways.

i dont know A LOT, but i can feel it's all good you know?

i thank God for giving me great friends at YI. people who journey with me, helping me to learn so much. they are friends who gave me support and were always there to give a hug when i needed it. and i'm so thankful for them. i feel blessed by so many gifts, just like this one, from the Lord himself. i feel so strongly that all of these were His will and He put us altogether for that special reason.

i thank God for giving me great friends at school. friends who have been with me through times when i cried, complained and laughed. friends who sat with me in lectures and helping me out at any schoolwork i had.

i thank God for giving me a really loving family. we may not be perfect, but i learnt so much and have grown so much, because of their love and patience. no matter what happens, i believe that in time to come, all will be okay. i love my family.

honestly, even though i have been an IJ girl for like 10 years, i think i'm finally accepting His invitation and it's awesome. really. life-changing, like what Li An said.

Forever God is faithful
Forever God is strong
Forever God is with us
Forever.


the song in my head... since last night.

i bought something for my mom yesterday, she's so happy now. and i'm happy to see her happy too :D

it was a great day yesterday. really.

Be kind and tenderhearted to one another, and forgive one another, as God has forgiven you through Christ
Ephesians 4:32

(i like this scripture verse a lot. "forgive one another like God has forgiven us" it means so much. and it helped me a lot.)

______________________________________________

hoobastank is really really really good. and vanessa amorosi has a really powerful voice



Meet me there at midnight, same place we always go
You're absolutely sure he doesn't know
Those words jump off the letter that I found behind our bed
Haunting me they echo in my head, in my head

It's too late to try and work it out
There's no way to turn this thing around
It's all there in the letter that I've found
I've memorized it line for line
Too bad that letter isn't mine, no

When can I then see you, I've been counting down the days
I promise you our secret will be safe
No, I just can't continue reading through my tears
The beating of the letter is so clear, so clear

It's too late to try and work it out
There's no way to turn this thing around
It's all there in the letter that I've found
I've memorized it line for line
Too bad that letter isn't mine

You wanted me to find it, never tried to hide it
Running never fades those words are here to stay
I hope you find this letter I'm writing you today
These will be the last words that I say

It's too late to try and work it out
There's no way to turn this thing around
It's all here in this letter that you've found

It's too late to try and work it out
There's no way to turn this thing around
It's all here in this letter that you've found
So memorized it line for line
I won't be there to say goodbye

Monday, July 06, 2009

[i'm numbing everything.]

in the wee hours of the morning, i'm awake.

haha blame the 17 hours i spent sleeping lar.












oh man, i just manually inserted these photos into this post cause blogger is throwing tantrums, it doesnt want to upload any photos onto this blog. BLEAGH. so i had to figure out the html code. haha geeky me.

anyways, yup, it was the day i bought my new bag. see the 3rd photo? thats my new bag, from the front haha. can't see anything lar. but i now have the same bag as Li An! just a lighter blue. awesome colour :D and we look like little girls in that photo haha.

the 2nd photo is proof i lost weight. i really look skinnier in that photo lar.

i haven't gotten photos of the class outing from Alton and Emeline. as well as college day photos from anyone and the photos from our first amplify friday from Esther!

shall upload soon :D

my weekend was cut short cause of college day. man i was definitely dead beat after the event. came home and almost fell asleep on the chair lar.

i spent the whole day sleeping on sunday (supposedly yesterday) and woke up just to watch tv. what a pig haha.

gonna sleep soon and wake up to do my econs. 7 essays and 3 drqs. hahaha i just realised... thats actually a lot. oh wells. shall wait another few minutes. like 20 more minutes to wake my dear Esther up then go to sleep.

not to mention i just forgot my pin for my ibanking account. thats the result of not using it often. oh gosh.

oh i haven't mentioned. but last sunday i broke my two front teeth. terrible lar. hahaha i fixed it the next day after i took early leave from school. spent 300 bucks fixing it and i still have to go back next monday to check if the nerve is dead yet. Dear God, please don't let it die. i dont wanna pay extra and go through the pain of removing the entire thing....

but yeah, it was quite horrible. i have a photo of it, and i am NOT going to upload it. it's a serious embarrassment lar. the large bruise is still on my arm. it was a bad fall, i would say.

i think i need to cut my hair. my fringe is super long now. but i kinda like it. long, and it doesnt look bad. but still have to cut lar. i might as well cut it myself like i did the last time. haha. later lar. probably... before i go to east coast

haha the last time i went to east coast, was with Yongxiang, two weeks ago. that toot gets tan way faster than i do lar. hahaha i'm annoyed because of that! hahaha but my tan is still around. and apparently, according to him, there was some guy who tried to flirt with me. wah thanks arh, he didnt even save me, just stood there and laughed at me, then make fun of me. haha idiot.

haha college day was okay i guess? although i think my section should be called the saikang section. we're called ticketing, but we do stuff like carry things, make things, arrange things. although we waited super long, wasted time and all, i think it was fun getting to know them lar. and disturbing Minsan. hahaha about his boyfriend (Yongxiang). to be honest, the two of them are real cute lar, two buddies. but yeah, they're a bunch of nice people haha.

and i crashed into a wall last night. walked into the pillar. cause i was playing with Yongxiang. took his cake and i didnt see where i was going. i turned around and slammed my left side into the pillar. there's still the bump lar. haha and then so many people saw. Wilson, Taihong, Bernice, Yongxiang, Minsan, Nisa, the ticketing people saw, and were all laughing at me. my face was super red. i couldnt stop laughing too... at myself. so genius right? HAHAHA. sorry lar, i'm just accident prone. typical me lar.

wcg is over? and i found out like 10 mins before the whole event ended at 10pm. haha so funny lar. but nvm lar. since Zheming and Clispson didnt play, there's not really the need to go lar.

i'm that happy girl again. the rah rah crazy wild laughing girl again. haha yup. i like it that way :D and i'm doing what i do best, make people laugh by being that walking joke. haha funny lar.

and i just got reminded of what a particular someone said. that you were not bad looking. told you so many times you're good looking, but you didn't believe me! hope you had sweet dreams, you called me cause you had another nightmare earlier :(

i could hear it from your voice.

to my dearest, it doesn't matter what happens in the future. i know it will hurt to think of him, but you know what? we're here for you, because we love you. and we will patch it back together like i said okay? don't forget that we're journeying together :) loves :)

For when I am weak, then I am strong
1 Cor 12:10
_____________________________________________



I wake up all alone, somewhere unfamiliar.
Been gone so many days, Im losing count.
When I think of home, I see your face.
I know I have to wait

(Chorus)
So close, yet so far
Its tearing me apart
What I would do to be there with you
So close yet so far
Its tearing me apart
What I would do to be back with you

I miss hearing your laughter
And all the little things
Forgotten what its like to hold you
Cause where I am right now so unforgiving
Its numbing everything

So close, yet so far
Its tearing me apart
What I would do to be there with you
So close yet so far
Its tearing me apart
What I would do to be back with you

So promise
No matter how long it takes for me to get back to you
Youll wait for me.

I Promise
No matter how far away I go Ill come back for you
Just wait and see

I miss being at home
I miss your face
Dont think I can wait...

Were So close, yet so far
Its tearing me apart
What I would do to be there with you
So close yet so far
Its tearing me apart
What I would do to be back with you


I promise,
Its tearing me apart
No matter how far away I go Ill come back for you
I promise
Its tearing me apart
What I would do-
What I would do-
What I would do to be there with you

Friday, July 03, 2009

[the warm embrace that no one knows.]

it was an eve.

the day all of it started. and the day we made the first step. the one simple yet extremely important step.

---------------------------

mid years was pretty okay. still failed my physics and econs lar. lol. but no Us this time. and i'm looking forward to tomorrow's amplify friday. i miss a lot of people and i have a lot on my mind.

i finally bought my new bag. haha finally.

---------------------------

i kinda wished i could at least have a rough idea. just a glimpse would do :)

because i'm still hanging.

______________________________________________

the song i heard on mtv before i went to school. it's enough to tell you.



I've practiced this for hours, gone round and round
And now I think that I've got it all down
And as I say it louder, I love how it sounds
Cause I'm not taking the easy way out
Not wrappin' this in ribbons
Shouldn't have to give a reason why

It's no surprise I won't be here tomorrow
I can't believe that I stayed till today
Yeah you and I will be a tough act to follow
But I know in time we'll find this was no surprise

It came out like a river once I let it out
When I thought that I wouldn't know how
Held onto it forever, just pushing it down
Felt so good to let go of it now
Not wrapping this in ribbons
Shouldn't have to give a reason why

It's no surprise I won't be here tomorrow
I can't believe that I stayed till today
There's nothing here in this heart left to borrow
There's nothing here in this soul left to say

Don't be surprised when we hate this tomorrow
God knows we tried to find an easier way
Yeah you and I will be a tough act to follow
But I know in time we'll find this was no surprise

Our favorite place we used to go
The warm embrace that no one knows
The loving look that's left your eyes
That's why this comes as no,
As no surprise

If I could see the future and how this plays out
I bet it's better than where we are now
But after going through this
It's easier to see the reason why

It's no surprise I won't be here tomorrow
I can't believe that I stayed till today
(stayed till today)
Yeah you and I will be a tough act to follow
But I know in time we'll find this was no surprise

Our favorite place we used to go
The warm embrace that no one knows
The loving look that's left your eyes
But I know in time we'll find this was no surprise

Thursday, June 25, 2009

[the hangover doesn't pass.]

i want you to know that.

i love you, i want you, i need you.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

[sing.]

YISS was awesome man. it was definitely an experience i will never forget because i can feel a change in me. and it's so real.

i realised so much, about my life. things that happened, why they happened. and i believe so much now that it's God's will. i received so much from God and i'm really so thankful for so many things now. no matter what happens, i know that God loves us no matter what, and that He can make anything possible.

during the course of the camp, quite a lot of amazing things happened. you know, they may be easy to neglect or subtle, but when you notice it, you have this really great feeling that will totally agree that God actually does listen to you. it may be a passing remark or a small wish, but He listens and he'll grant them :) hahaha and i realised i take long to notice his subtle acts of love or i dont even see them at all.

and i find that so important to me. like He really did so so so so much for me, since i was a kid and only at 18 did things start to dawn on me. hahaha i feel so wols.

i'm so thankful for what he has given me throughout this life. up to now. He put me in a group of really awesome people who i know will journey with me. haha i feel like i know them for a long time even though it was just 4 days. we had great times man. our dormitory was so happening. and i met so many other really nice people. sometimes we stay up till late at night talking about things that happen in life and we would reassure each other that God's love will help us get over the troubles and all the sadness in us. i felt so warm with them and i felt so happy.

these 4 days really have changed me so much, and i know it was all becasue of God's love. :)



my really awesome group :)



my darlings in room 5 of the girls' dorm :))

Sunday, June 14, 2009

[the answer.]

DAMN. i need a new laptop and a new phone.

my laptop is dying on me. i hate this.