[wings.]

finally downloaded allllllll my kyo kara maou episodes and i'm already on season 3.

haha love the show lar. just that even before the show is coming to an end, i'm starting to have withdrawal symptoms. super love the show lar. lol. it's super funny. a bit gay, but it isn't really that gay lar. haha



haha the dragon is super cute.





got B for math exam. hope my CA can bring it up to an A

this week has been so screwed up.... SIGH

and i miss you a lot.

[screwed up bad.]

i'm sad... really sad

and i cannot stop crying

[you can.]

i came home at about 1 or 2, to sleep for 5 hours.

that was totally not in my plan for today. but i slept that long despite waking up countless times just to run away.

i didn't expect my first day of freedom to turn out like this, at all.

i thought i would be with you, just accompanying you even though you had to study. even if i had to study more or just didn't have to do.

i'm afraid to tell you all of it
____________________________________________

i'm waiting, and i'll still wait.



Take me where I've never been
Help me on my feet again
Show me that good things come to those who wait
Tell me I'm not on my own
Tell me I won't be alone
Tell me what I'm feeling isn't some mistake
'Cause if anyone can make me fall in love, you can

Save me from myself, you can
And it's you and no one else
If I could wish upon tomorrow tonight would never end
If you asked me I would follow
But for now I'll just pretend
'Cause if anyone can make me fall in love, you can

Baby, when you look at me
Tell me what do you see
Are these the eyes of someone you could love?
'Cause everything that brought me here
Well, now it all seems so clear
Baby, you're the one that I've been dreaming of
If anyone can make me fall in love, you can

Save me from myself, you can
And it's you and no one else
If I could wish upon tomorrow tonight would never end
If you asked me I would follow
But for now I'll just pretend
'Cause if anyone can make me fall in love

Only you can take me sailing in your deepest eyes
Bring me to my knees and make me cry
And no one's ever done this
Everything was just a lie and I know, yes, I know

This is where it all begins
So tell me it will never end
I can't fool myself, it's you and no one else

If I could wish upon tomorrow tonight would never end
If you asked me I would follow
But for now I'll just pretend
'Cause if anyone can make me fall in love, you can

Show me that good things come to those who wait

[40 kinds of sadness.]

ARGH

screwed up my physics paper lar..

super duper difficult.

i wonder if i should still bear your words in mind...

what should i do?

all that happened brings sadness and makes me want to cry.
all i asked for, is what i got.

hey bri, don't cross that line you drew yourself, for yourself
________________________________

awesome song :) the song that's stuck in my head all day, all night.



Two days chasing me around
I go crazy when you're outside of my world
When you're outside of my world
No sounds singing me to sleep

I don't want the room to breathe
Just be with me...
Just be with me!

I feel 40 kinds of sadness when you're gone.
I feel the same thing always happens when you're gone
And i know you're just around the corner
But just around the corner is not enough
It's not enough
My eyes are waiting at the door
Just like every time before
Time flies so slow...
Time flies so slow!

I feel 40 kinds of sadness when you're gone.
I feel the same thing always happens when you're gone
And i know you're just around the corner
But just around the corner is not enough
It's not enough

It's not enough, I don't know why
It's not enough, I miss you all the time
And I know you kinds like it.

I feel.. yea.. 40 kinds of sadness when you're gone.
I feel 40 kinds of sadness when you're gone.
I feel the same thing always happens when you're gone
i know you're just around the corner
But just around the corner is not enough
It's not enough

[cucumber.]

it's almost 2am and i'm super tired.

physics is killing me.

FINALLY, THE LAST PAPER...

thank goodness all the problems only surface when my exams are about to come to an end. problems like my swollen eye due to a lack of sleep...

and i just realised everyone thinks i sleep at 1am every night. life of an ex-owl. sigh.

heard from Savie that some nasty things happened back in sec school. oh man.

i'm gonna sleep sleep sleep on monday like a pig. NEED to catch up on sleep. and then we're gonna go rollerblade next week :D

after the exams, i still have that dreadful econs assignment i have to do and submit by 5th june. still have to settle proposal for fundraising. ask Wilson to help :D

camp aspire is coming soon. hope it won't be another camp expire. last year was terrible, no offence.

meeting the equalites tomorrow, I GUESS. if i can make it there in time after my physics paper (ALSO MY LAST PAPER). kinda scared to go back cause of what Savie said. lol.

gonna catch up on my csi season 7,8 and 9 after exams. as well as csi ny season 1,2,3 and 4 haha. csi marathon :D

and finally, kyou kara maou is picking up speeeeeeed. been waiting for days... haha

the econs paper on tuesday was a TOTAL screw up. i blanked out lar. ROAR.
the math paper on wednesday was much better. could do every sum except apgp. i was real mad at it after the paper.
chem paper today (or rather yesterday) was quite okay. manageable. Chris enlightened me on the last question when we went for mass. ROAR. why didn't i think of it?

hungry :( and it's 2am
GOOD NIGHT!

[exams. exams. exams.]

yesterday is haunting me.

and i'm evading it.

leverage looks real cool. :D

GP paper down, 4 more days to freedom. gosh, can't wait

ij fiesta this friday, go?

bored with no csi to watch at home.

thrash thrash thrash.

kyou kara maou is taking forever, can't wait can't wait :D

and i miss my dearest equalites :(

ugh, i feel so out.
what's gonna happen later?

[doubt.]

i feel quite useless... that stupid feeling of being inferior to her.

it's a feeling inside of me i dare not tell anyone because i know i shouldnt even feel this way...

thank you my friends :)

pumpfest today, went to novena with my darling Emeline to see our Rocmoc friends climb :)

hey Momo, dont worry so much lar. i know you did your best :)

i've been dreaming of you lately...
____________________________________

[cute little boy. :D]

been slacking all day. wth.

hahaha yeah. watched like anime and then csi, and then anime, and then csi. then charlie and the chocolate factory! which was quite er? weird lar. only the ending was nice :D

feel so guilty now. tomorrow, i shall finish all the revision papers and i'm gonna do well for mid years :D

haha i hope.

[thunder.]

where so ever you go, go with all your heart.

i asked a question. and the answer i got was a negative one. i dare not ask the next one.

just what exactly are we doing with our lives? or maybe i should be asking myself what i'm doing with my own life.

so many times, i dont know what to do. i feel stuck and have that lost feeling. i want to know what to do.

you can't make someone love you, all you can do is to be someone who can be loved. the rest is up to the person to realise your worth.

and thats what we all want to be, someone who can be loved. i'm a fussy person, because all that i do now, is just for that one particular person to realise my worth.

forever. is another thing.

have you ever thought, that maybe being happy is all i want?

that when i wake up at night nowadays cause of the thunder, i feel scared and the only person i wished was by my side to take my fear away is you.

-----------------------------------------

this was the only song that was playing the entire night

[gotta keep the light on.]

i just can't forgive myself.

it's the same lonely, helpless, lost feeling i feel once again.

and it'l be like this tonight.

[clarity.]

i'm scared. i really need an answer before i go bonkers. roar.

[koala on a tree.]

i had a weird and funny dream last night. haha

[everytime i leave, my heart turns grey.]

and it already is.

i can feel myself breaking into a million pieces.

every part of me just breaking down, because of you.

i wanted to be there because you were sick. i know what i did was silly. i just wanted to accompany you and take care of you, and i didnt get the chance. i waited 3 hours and i left. you wanted me to leave anyway. so i did.

maybe the only song playing in my head is this. and it's the only song that will make me cry now, and everyday.

it sucks to want to do something sweet and at the end of it, you cry and cry and cry. your heart is bruised. you just leave without stopping and you're in tears. i know how much it sucks, and i know it well.

i did something i have never done before, and it ended badly. not only am i disappointed, i'm mad. i'm really hurt this time. i left the same place crying. people stared at me.

even though i said i would take all the blame, you still didnt have any idea how hurt i felt, or feel now.

what i feared really came true. was for you to tell me that i was suffocating you.

this is the third time this week i feel this way. and i'm tired. i wanted to end myself so badly.

i dont want to talk to anyone now. not even you. i just want to sit somewhere in a corner and cry. just when i needed you, you still did not come. you will never know how hurt i feel. whats the point of telling me you feel something, when you showed me something else instead.

you reprimanded me for something i already know. but i chose to do what i did. at the end of it, i dont know if i should regret.

i said i was sorry, and everything was my fault, because i'm just like that when i'm just tired. but in fact, i'm crying and crying and crying in front of the phone. i missed bus after bus, just hoping for that one more chance, but you went the other way instead. i still waited like an idiot.

now, i dont know if you're still pretending that nothing happened or pretending to not be able to tell.

and i should stop thinking about all the things i could do.

i thought you would do something after thursday night. thinking about what happened that night and last night. i dont know what to believe. because to you, i'm merely trying too hard.

to you, i'm just doing too much. maybe i should walk away when you're not looking, and so you'll never notice.

i'm at my worst today, really my worst. and i'm going through it alone, like i have always tried to. maybe it's better that way huh? no point telling you, because we just argue and i end up being unreasonable.

all i asked for was a bit more attention. i did what i could to be in your line of sight, and i feel like crying again.

i have no one to go to. and i'm really really sad now. it's the same helplessness i feel. the feeling of being lonely.

thank you. for teaching me something today, a lesson i will never ever forget.

you won't come.