[i wanna thank you.]



LIM YU XUAN! thanks for being such a sunshine girl this whole year. lol your blurness and unglamness really does cheer me up and never fails to make me laugh. although you're always being unglam and eating SO MUCH, i think that it's really unique and special, thats why you're really unique to me. a really special friend indeed :) when i'm gone, dont change okay? i think you're really cute the way you are already. and i'll ALWAYS remember your llama song, never ever fails to crack me up! haha. continue to work hard okay? i saw you having consultation with mr kwang today and i know you'll do good at the retest!. i wish you all the best! do well for your retest okay? stay happy always and i like the simple way you are, makes me jealous. it's great being simple at times you know? promise me to always be happy, stay happy like this forever :) you know something? i like your laugh! HAHA whenever i see you laugh, it's damn funny it makes me laugh too! shows how good you are at spreading this happy aura, haha. i'm really gonna miss you a lot. remember always, that i'll be here to laugh with you anytime, anyday. stay happy always and i love you!
















TAN LI AN!!!!! haha when you told me your primary school best friend called you tan la la in the past, i found it really cute, really. and la la WAS my favourite teletubby (now, no cause i heard they're scary and evil). guess what? you're now my favourite teletubby! and i definitely know you're not scary and evil. thanks for being there for me you know? you've been the trusted friend i had in this class. even though you had your volley friends and i had my own group of friends, i never found it difficult to talk to you about anything, at all. in fact, talking to you has always been a joy. no matter where i am, i'll ALWAYS listen to you like i did during the time when we were doing our WR. i'll be your best friend now, and in the future. don't ever feel that i'm leaving you behind okay? cause even though i'm not physically there at srjc anymore, my heart is still with you guys and i'll still think of all of you. i will never forget you and the rest. thanks for being such a great companion through my pw journey. we talked, laughed, complained, gossiped so much when we were doing our pw together at night and i will never forget those times. i was really happy, to have someone close in the group, and i really want to continue being that listening ear. i know, that although i wont be able to do such a great job, since i wont be in srjc anymore, but i'll still do my best yeah? i promised you i'll come back once in a while when i can to visit you guys. i will :) i'm really glad you opened up to retaining. but remember that no matter what, you choose your path, dont let someone else do it for you. if you like art, pursue it :) i never want to see you unhappy cause a smiling li an is a pretty li an! stay happy girl, and i'll always be there for you. dont let things in school get you down. when you feel like it, just sms me okay? love you loads!



VERA HO!!! hahaha my purple carrot. you know you're really smart and hardworking? and you're so cute with gabriel! haha. thanks girl for hearing me out at times, i really really really appreciate it. hahaha it's really fun having you around as a friend and a toilet buddy. lol not say toilet buddy lar, but yeah, you get what i mean! haha. i know this whole year, you've been a lof of tough times, especially with schoolwork and the lack of time. but you proved yourself wrong and you did it! you passed your promos and you're promoting, which is good. have more confidence in yourself because you can actually do it. dont tell yourself that you cant do it, because that brings your morale down. tell yourself to "chiong arh!" and work really hard and you'll do great. i believe in you, so you must believe in yourself too okay? i'll be here using poms poms to cheer you on and the rest of the class. take care my dear, you're always falling ill. you must sleep well, eat well and dont keep stressing yourself out okay? thats how you take good care of yourself! haha jiayou my dear! all the best and i love you! i'll always be there for you when you need me, always.



SARAH YOUNG!!! haha although you left poly halfway, 1S24 will always love you, and we still do! thanks for being such a great daughter. we have a lot of LMLD traits and i think, haha thats damn cool lar. i almost treat you and aaron like my real children lar. lol! but i hardly see you, so you're like a daughter studying abroad! LOL okay... haha i enjoy poking fun at you about my son-in-law (HOHOHO) and well talking to you is really such joy. i know that we're almost identical in terms of personality, really LMLD! LOL i guess thats why we can get along so darn well. thanks you know? for always listening to me. i know the transition from jc to poly was tough for you but i've seen you grown and i think that you definitely did grow and i'm proud of you. from the time you left, you always talked to me about a lot of things that happened in school. haha i remember you were one of the few people who actually came up to tell me "i thought ij girls were all... but you're different!" that kinda touched me, really... actually it touched me a lot lol. i know you used to dislike me cause i was an ij girl and i was wild, but you eventually started to open up to me and i changed your perception, which is good! HEHE! continue to work hard in poly okay? i want to see you do really really really really well! get a gpa of 4.0, make me prouder! lol i'm already proud of you haha. jiayou okays? mama will always be here to cheer you on and listen to you anytime! i love you!

_______________________________________

oh man i dont feel so good. my nose is a mess. shall go rest. :)

[footprints in the sand.]

haha i failed my promos. i'm eligible to retain but i'm not and i'm leaving for poly. i'll be heading to Singapore Polytechnic next year, to Biotechnology. i wanna say how much i'm gonna miss my friends at SR.

from the start of this year, i made great friends like puiwah and elaine lim. i know that you two aren't gonna see this, but i still wanna express my gratitude for making friends with me. you two were the first two people who spoke to me and i'm happy to know you guys. thanks to orion 4, for making the first one week plus really enjoyable. although it was awkward having to make all of you celebrate janice's birthday, but well, haha i tried my best lar. thanks to cat, elaine foo, germaine, enling, marilyn, waheeda and janice for making that week so enjoyable and it did give me a good start in SR. thanks to jon, chunkai, aldrich, greg and siang phong for being part of a great OG.

it sucked to be separated, but we did. we all found great pae classes. and i wanna thank my second orion 4 (1S17). you guys never failed to make me laugh and enjoyed school everyday. even when i was having my gastric flu, i still insisted on going to school to see all of you, to hang out with yall after school for lunch and laugh all day with you guys. thanks siyi and wenhui for being such great companions in this class. i will never forget dsen and siyun, who always made the class so lively and noisy. haha. ristah, my purple girl, and lynette, my dearest temasek girl who wants 4 kids haha. i will never ever forget our laughing episode during our first H1 physics tutorial. marissa, my dota girl and ponning partner who constantly ponned gp and pw with me to sit in the library to slack. wenhui, my girlfriend who always sings in class and likes to look at the mirror. HAHA! i will never forget our last day of pae when we skipped the entire day of lessons to sit outside the library, just to hang out. it was fun, indeed.

1S17, you guys were the best pae class i could ever ask for and i love all of you, A LOT!











































my psp gang! aldrich, fong wai and kelvin! oh and greg! LOL how could i ever forget greg! my 四大天王s! haha if you cant read that, it's si da tian wang! hahaha yeah, greg hasnt passed down the legacy! i will never ever forget ponning lessons with you guys just to sit in the library and play burnout and bleach. i will never ever forget the four of you and how much fun we had in SR just being retarded, LOL. although greg and i are in SR, aldrich's in SP chem engineering (where i'll join him soon, LOL), fong wai's in SAJC, and kelvin's in NP, i'll always remember you guys. you guys did add a lot of sunshine in my life and made everything super fun. thank you, i miss you guys a lot.















fong wai, me















me, gregory (gaygory)















our favourite fong wai wai!















aldrich my greatest buddy ever















our si da tian wang


aldrich and fongwai messing around (if you havent noticed, their shoes)





























messing around again, as always. attempts to be gay buddies.

after jae started, i had members in my OG like jon, mok, ek, siyi, mad and fuyang. haha mok, ek, fuyang, wenhui, lijuan and i just hung around the cafe ALL DAY slacking and ponning lessons. haha yes, we go to school to pon lessons. haha. they were still good times. i wanna thank ek for telling me all the stories about my bro in sec sch which did make me laugh and always bickering with wenhui which really cracked everyone up. mok, for being such a innocent and blur fella. haha i have no idea how i ended up in a scandal with you, but oh wells. thanks for being a friend :) i guess, that was how the whole SR clique thing started. it started with myself, wenhui, lijuan, ek, mok, jerome and steph. thanks guys, i love yall.

then came the SR clique, when people started to leave. ek left for sp mass comm and fuyang drifted to his class. we were all split up. lijuan and steph in 1S31, waiting to go to nyp business and np accounting respectively. wenhui in 1S22, mok in 1S17, jerome in 1A07, and myself in 1S24. we still hung out as a group every friday until it eventually stopped. thinking back, i do miss the times when we were all so simple and we could just laugh. jon joined us and at the end of it, it was just zenda, lijuan, wenhui, steph, jon, jerome and myself. jerome drifted away and it came down to only the 6 of us. we had great times. we celebrated birthdays and we bowled together, doing something we all enjoyed, talking about the ECs and guys at school.

























































.









there came 1S24. the class that gave me strength as well as the class that hurt me. you guys went through thick and thin with me and of course, i would choose to keep the good memories with me.
















CHAN TAK KIN! haha the first person to bully me in class. so annoying. but thanks for being there for me at the start of the year, consoling me anytime, anyday when i'm upset. haha i still remember the day you brought me to the swings and that kinda cheered me up. you always stood up for me when i got bullied, i still remembered the time i got really hurt by what other people said and you were the one who cleared things up for me. although we may have drifted apart, but remember that i still regard you as a really dear friend and i'll never forget you. just continue to work hard like you have been this past year and i'm very very very sure that you'll shine at the A levels next year. i'm super sure of it. i have a lot of faith in you and dont let me down! i'm sorry for what happened halfway through this year, just know that i didnt mean it and i wish you all the best. hope you'll find talking to someone better than keeping to yourself at times. it does worry me and scares me haha. haha remember to stay happy everyday and whenever you feel like it, you can always talk to me. smile always. like i said, you look very shuai when you smile. so KEEP SMILING! stop being so dao! haha















MAX LEE! my ah pa, the class ah gong! haha my dearest class rep arh, can you please STOP SPEEDING AND TAKE CARE! SCARED THE SHIT OF OUT ME WHEN I HEAR WHAT HAPPENED LUH!!! tak kin told me you died already. LOL. i know earlier this year, we had a dispute and all. i wanna tell you that i'm sorry, and i learnt my mistake. even so, thanks for always being a great friend, and offering that listening ear when i needed it. i still remembered the time i cried so badly on the phone and you were the one who kinda worked things out for me. thanks ah pa, for everything. i hope and am sure that you and denise will be a really really really really happy couple. i'm happy to see that you've found someone and you are a happy boy, LOL. thanks for being such a great friend! continue to be that positive guy i know and trusted. take care of all my little kids when i'm gone okay!















GWYNNA HO! my girlfriend! hahaha wahhh i lost my first female kiss to you, at crossroads cafe! lol. thanks for being there for me all this while you know? if not for you, and your encouraging words, i would not have been able to find the strength. i'll be missing you like hell once i leave. you were one of the greatest friends i made at SR. really. dearest, you have definitely proved yourself worthy. you worked hard for your promos and i saw that improvement in you. you really have grown and i still believe you will one day, grow up to be someone greater. acheive your dream as a psychologist okay? i know you'll be a darn good one cause you've always been a great friend to talk to about problems and you know how to offer a warm shoulder for someone to cry on as well as a good listening ear to listen to. like i said, you've been giving me the strength to even go to school. i know that you'll be great next year. i want to see you, and everyone else do really well, and i have great faith in all of you. i believe all of you will do well, no matter what. i know it's tough on you at home, but always remember that i still love you a lot and i promise to be there for you. no matter where i am, i will still be around for you kays? like i promised li an, i will come back once in a while to visit you guys. stay strong girl, like you have all year. i'll always be there for you :)
___________________________

alright i'll stop here for today :) i shall go sleep now and reminisce about the great times :)

[cause if you jump, i will jump too.]

we had pw earlier and well it didnt turn out so well..

i can safely say that i'm having a really bad day and i just want to go to sleep so that i can sleep all of this away. i'm feeling like crap and i feel like i'm gonna die. and i think the rest of the week is gonna be like crap too...

wr is due today, according to joe lim. i'm damn freaking tired you know. i want to sleep so bad. ARGH.

why do i have to face problems with people when i just want to do the right thing.

you know, maybe Ms Woo is right after all. i should take care of myself before taking care of other people. and yeah, i just wished i could take care of you.

i always thought that things were really gonna be fine you know? like things will still remain as they were and all the bad stuff will slowly go away. but no. it's just getting uglier and uglier. in fact, i'm so damn afraid of what might happen sooner or later.

when all you could do was to have a little more control.

and yes, if only you could just stop and listen.

if you're reading this, i hope you would calmly think about what has been going on.
for some funny reason, i feel that what i've done is either taken for granted, insignificant or it was just futile. and i hope you dont get stressed up just thinking about it

i've always been forgiving and understanding, not always, but i changed almost overnight for you. sigh

i think, and am afraid that things will just end.

i. am. not. prepared.

really not prepared at all..

okay i gotta do my pw now. bye

i've done anything and everything i could for you
we're falling together
but maybe
i'm just falling alone.

__________________________________________



She said let's change our luck
This night is all we've got
Drive fast until we crash
This dead end life
Sweet dreams that won't come true
I'd leave it all for you
Brick walls are closing in
Let's make a run tonight

Blinded by the lights
Hold you through forever
Won't let you go

'Cause if you jump
I will jump too
We will fall together
From the building's ledge
Never looking back at what we've done
We'll say it was love
'Cause I would die for you
On skyway avenue

She said don't change your mind
Let's leave this town behind
We'll race right off the cliff
They will remember this
It all got so mundane
With you I'm back again
Just take me by the hand
We're close to the edge

Blinded by the lights
Hold you through forever
Won't let you go

'Cause if you jump
I will jump too
We will fall together
From the building's ledge
Never looking back at what we've done
We'll say it was love
'Cause I would die for you
On skyway avenue

Where are your guts to fly
Soaring through, through the night
And if you take that last step
I'll follow you
Leave the edge and fly
We're finally alive

'Cause if you jump
I will jump too
We will fall together
From the building's ledge
Never looking back at what we've done
We'll say it was love
'Cause I would die for you
On skyway avenue
So what's left to prove
We have made it through

[nightmare in the morning.]

i'm at school now, using my mom's laptop to do my pw.

this morning was a shitty morning.

maybe now i know that, no one is...

i woke up this morning, to some really bad stuff. and i was left wondering what went wrong, what did i do wrong and finally, is everything just wrong?

i sat on my bed for 2 hours, before getting up to get ready for school which i was already at least an hour late for.

right now, i'm just emoing, bad.

i want to cry, but i held my tears back until i came to school and somehow i just couldnt.

i guess i just cant really cry when i'm around people.

li an and i sat in the canteen the entire time. yes we're both not doing that well.

i'm sad.

[i just need someone.]

i want to cry to someone and i want to cry it all out.

but




there's no one.

for the entire week, i was alone. standing alone, trying to be strong alone.
so much i've sacrificed. so hard i'm trying, but it never seems enough

if not, it's too much.

what is going to happen to me at the end of it?

had a sucky week. because of him, because of school. because of practically everything okay? i'm trying to hold on. people keep telling me to hang on, to hang on. it turns out i'm not as strong as we all thought and i'm really breaking down, alone.

and i wish so much for him to just be here to lend me a shoulder to cry on. i was so damn emo and i needed it so badly this morning.

even if he wanted to be there for me, i know he cant. i cannot be selfish. this was our agreement.

then why is it that all the bad things have to happen at once, and especially at the point i need him the most.

and i have to wait alone.
no matter how many times you're telling me to hang in there, i really cant. i really... am trying so hard when all i wished was for you to be here.

was it a bad idea?

i'm telling myself no.

i just feel like isolating myself from the world now. i just want to sit in a corner.

help.

i just want my morning wish to come true :(

i can only see you in my dreams
i can only hold you in my dreams

i only wished, i was dreaming all the time.

[red book.]

i'm tired.

have i done too much, or tried too hard?
time seems to be crawling, i guess, thats prolly a good thing?

or maybe not.

i feel like i should be the only one the whole world should be angry at. i just felt like beating myself up today.

i skipped chinese today to sit with li an in the canteen because we were both kinda emoing. she told me why she's sad and i told her why i'm sad. and being sad, makes you extra tired. you can sleep a week straight but at the end of it, if you're sad, you'll still feel tired. i'm hanging on guys, i'm hanging on...

i did things like print photos, and plugging in my earphones to block myself out. maybe these made me feel slightly better? i laughed and laughed and laughed with my classmates today, and i was so tired after that.

but then again, really no point being sad right? i dont know why i do, but i still do.

i kept thinking today, and i kept thinking....

i'm mentally tired, and i'm still holding on.

i keep thinking today is friday.

maybe... i'll go out with Lester and Zheming next thursday. it's been ages since i went out with them and they keep asking me to go out with them.

it's not that i want to feel down. but what happened yesterday just makes me sad. and whatever is happening makes me cry.

and suddenly, i feel distant. from the world, from my world. i still have my friends no problem, but i feel rather distant from my world.

my world's here, but... i feel distant. like they said "absence makes the heart grow fonder". maybe. is this part of it?

and i'm trying so hard to curb this darn feeling. i'm sorry. i feel like a failure and i feel like shit.

been so darn moody over things nowadays i just want to keep staying home instead of going to school. and i want to stay home to just play games, games, and more games.

and i'm starting to go back to playing games to runaway again.

instead, i hope it'll occupied my mind and i'll get used to it.

i went back to bowling today after not doing so for a few months. i need to train. another thing to worry...

and i'm writing in a red book.
_____________________________________



There are so many reasons that I find to run to you
Coz there's so little loving in my life, now I am away
And thinking about it I want things back how they used to be
There is no way around it, nothing good comes easily
So much between us and we both know that it's wrong
So I keep on waiting till I am back where I belong

So here I am all by myself thinking of you nobody else
There is a feeling inside and as hard as I try it just won't go away
Are you finding it hard it all on your own
Having to face each night alone
Knowing you are the one with the love that I need
And I miss you more each day

So many feelings emotions running away with me
Cos it's you that I believe in and I love this one so deep
So much between us and we both know that it's wrong
Now I keep on waiting till I am back where I belong
Back where I belong

So here I am all by myself thinking of you nobody else
There is a feeling inside and as hard as I try it just won't go away
Are you finding it hard it all on your own
Having to face each night alone
Knowing you are the one with the love that I need
And I miss you more each day

So I keep on waiting till I am back where I belong
Back where I belong

So here I am all by myself thinking of you nobody else
There is a feeling inside and as hard as I try it just won't go away
Are you finding it hard it all on your own
Having to face each night alone
Knowing you are the one with the love that I need
And I miss you more each day...

[an unspeakable sense of sadness.]

i'm standing strong on my own until this strong and destructive wind blows over. by the end of it, i WILL still stand strong. even if i have to cry, to beat myself up, i shall not move from that spot.

maybe i keep doing things wrongly.

maybe, i should just go to sleep, for a long long time. just like how sleeping beauty did, leaving out the prince part.

and yes i want to do that now.

i'm sorry, i want to try to keep out of trouble, as well as not create any more trouble, but i just do. dont worry, i believe it's an issue with myself.

if things go on like that, i think......... and i'm very very very afraid, i'll be losing something big.

i wished i could swallow all that sadness and pain, and then allow it to dissolve itself inside of me.

i'm really scared, and i'm really sad. i wished i could just cry to someone right now, and i want to cry it all out.

[this moment so perfect.]

i's been A WHILE since i've been here.

promos are officially over. like 2 weeks ago. haha i'm gonan retain lar.

i'm making plans to go to poly to do what i want already.

been up to a lot of stuff after the promos.

my brother bought a new turntable which is taking up a lot of space...






























on the last day of my promos, i went out with Alwin and his sister, Crystal to the F1 practice. it was indeed some new experiences and we took some nice photos.











































































































































yup... after that, the two of us went to newton circus to have supper :)


























then we unknowingly sat at table 148 and got reminded of zheming!
















yup we had carrot cake and sugar cane which was really nice :)







































































haha was eating halfway and i saw these things hanging from the ceiling... but it's so contradicting cause the floor's full of it.






























the next day, went to quikz's place in the evening for his birthday. before that, i went to cut my hair and yes it's UGLY. omg. i have bangs now, but i look so weird. Alwin didnt go with me cause he went for the F1 thing. he came to pick me up later
on and stayed over :)

haha played rock band at his place. and zheming damn cute on the drums sia. haha
















the next day, sunday, fixed up the new keyboard tray my mom got cause of the lack of space when my brother bought his turntable and packed my room! cleared all my o levels stuff. notes and books. three stacks lar...















oh and my darling Alwin renewed my WoW account as a surprise for me, thanks dearie :D















on tuesday, went to EA near marina square with quikz and Alwin. haha wasted trip lar... but it was nice seeing the office. it was pretty cool. went to have seoul garden with my darling Alwin after that. i beat him lar. i ate more than him and we had a LOT of beef! LOL nice lar.















went to meet 1S24 after that. they just came from sentosa and i just joined them for dinner and walked about vivo for a while. gwynna cut bangs too :D PHOTOS!
















oh yeah we saw this heart shaped onion ring!





will update more some other time :)

cheers.
________________________________

this song is nice and the video is nice too



Check yes Juliet
Are you with me?
Rain is falling down on the sidewalk
I won't go until you come outside.

Check yes Juliet
Kill the limbo
I'll keep tossing rocks at your window
There's no turning back for us tonight.

Lace up your shoes
Eh Oh Eh Ohhh
Here's how we do:

Run, baby, run
Don't ever look back.
They'll tear us apart
If you give them the chance.
Don't sell your heart.
Don't say we're not meant to be.
Run, baby, run.
Forever will be
You and me.

Check yes Juliet
I'll be waiting
Wishing, wanting
Yours for the taking.
Just sneak out
And don't tell a soul goodbye.
Check yes Juliet
Here's the countdown
3... 2... 1... now fall in my arms now
They can change the locks
Don't let them change your mind

Lace up your shoes
Eh Oh Eh Ohhh
Here's how we do

Run, baby, run
Don't ever look back
They'll tear us apart
If you give them the chance
Don't sell your heart
Don't say we're not meant to be
Run baby run
Forever will be
You and me

We're flying through the night
We're flying through the night
Way up high,
The view from here is getting better with
You by my side

Run baby run
Don't ever look back
They'll tear us apart
If you give them the chance
Don't sell your heart
Don't say we're not meant to be
Run baby run
Forever will be...

Run baby run
Don't ever look back
They'll tear us apart
If you give them the chance
Don't sell your heart
Don't say we're not meant to be
Run baby run
Forever will be
You and me
You and me
You and me