[pack my room when all else fails.]

survived ss test today. didnt need to study.. nothing from the textbook, omg.

yes, i got scolded for sleeping in class today.

anyways, was doing another flyer distribution today. with just savie and zong... tiara had to leave halfway... well before we got there, haha.

it was kinda fun after that, having group study with them and all. did a lot of silly things, broke my compass and well talked about a lot of things on the way home.

we were sitting in bk for like 3 hours before heading home at about 9.15pm. lester was with us but he went home after that so yeah. savie, zong and i started talking about the future and all, our ambitions and stuff like that. i hvnt really decided what to do yet so yeah. well, at least zong and savie know what they want... i dont...

yeah. what do i want?

i guess the entire conversation on the way home was pretty fun. was joking a lot and well they made my day. hahaha

arc phototaking tomorrow... hahahaha let's see what other retarded things we can think of...

comparing it to the past, it really has shrunk a lot and changed a lot.

i wanna pack my room. surprise surprise. seriously... my room is packed with all the books and papers. i need to clear and sort them out. okay maybe i cant clear it all by tonight... but yeah slowly i guess.

[wish.]

a lot, and i mean A LOT to do.

- amath homework
- emath homework
- ss test tomorrow
- emath test tomorrow
- history essay

history essay will prolly take up 30 mins or less? then my emath will take up about 15 mins. amath homework prolly another 20 mins. emath test (on locus and cumulative frequency), shouldnt be much of a problem if i still remember everything....

and finally

the ss test. my worst subject. wth, three chapters.. this will prolly take me the entire night man... just to study.. man... i think i'll try to finish everything by 2am man... i'm super tired.

went for vex in the afternoon. came back at like 9+pm. then had to shower, eat and everything, and here i am now.

the ss test was to be pushed to next thursday but because the literature people didnt want it on the same day as their lit test, they also voted for it to be tomorrow. sucks man... and it's not as if you can study all three chapters in a matter of hours right? and you have a week, to study the two subjects what... just dont study on the day before the test lar...

so yeah.. because everything was decided so quickly.

let's just say my teacher forgot the ss test was tomorrow, and my class managed to bluff him, telling him he never told us there was no ss test... so he said to have it next week, but because it had to be a thursday, it had to be pulled back to tomorrow.. sigh. having tests and stuff everyday.

and the emath test.. it was gonna be either tomorrow or friday what... and she just told us TODAY there was a test, so yeah, it's this friday. i still have another amath test next week. omg.

that confidence of mine just broke. i just passed my stupid amath test... thats to the b^2-4ac formula. crappy...........

i was already very tired by the time sch ended.. plus i had to go for vex, so yeah, even more tired now, and i still have to study. omg.

and oh yeah, think i screwed up the chem paper today. sheesh...

[triggered.]

i see more and more troubled people around me.

i'm pretty sure i made a terrible mistake today. i hurt someone's feelings today. i'm sorry. my words and actions triggered your train of thoughts, made you feel like a big letdown. the fact is, you arent okay? you're not...

we humans arent perfect. if we were, this place would prolly be boring. well yeah we're all trying to be perfect and all, despite knowing it's prolly impossible. we can only lead almost perfect lives. yeah, i know people who lead almost perfect lives. lives we love to envy, but do not forget, for every single person is unique in their own way. just like fingerprints... everyone is different, why focus on the past when you have the present and the future to look at?

i start to look around me, at the people who are going through the rough times of their lives. i wonder to myself "what can i do to help?"

yeah, i wish i could. having to keep a lot of things a secret and having to act under that restriction, it's difficult. it kinda hurt, seeing so many of my friends so down and troubled. i feel helpless.

when i'm the cause, i dont know what i can do to make things better. for now, apologising wouldnt be able to do anything to help, because whatever i do and say, is wrong. maybe i'm the one being the letdown, screwing up in the present, and may affect the future. who knows man, who knows.

[freaky monday.]

tiring day.

physics test tomorrow T.T

chem test the day after T.T

ss test the day after the day after T.T

oh wait. another chinese test the day after the day after =.=

physics practical today was =.= never heard of the curve of bestfit until TODAY and my tutor was telling me there was no such thing =.= omigosh. yeah

it was a freaky day today though. i decided to skip recess. because i cant stand waiting for 15 minutes just to get the food and only left with 9 mins to eat it.. and the last time i waited, i spilled a little gravy on this poor girl's sleeve, dang-ness, i know, i'm horrid.. she decided it was okay and ran off, so i didnt get my chance of doing something about the sleeve. =.=

so anyway, i was in class with savie, bonnie, jas, jac, the usual (people who skip recess and stay in class), so yeah. i was heading to class with savie when we saw this girl sitting by a corner, crying. yeah we decided it was nothing much so we walked off. well she was right outside our classroom. rah.

okay so we're happily doing our work when "AHHHHH!" yeah someone screamed... as though someone has just violated her. it was really scary... so there was this moment of silence until joy broke it with a whisper, telling us there was this girl crying outside our classroom. then fine...

i moved to the front with bonnie and we were sharing a packet of keropok (she made me bring it home in the end and savie and i finished it), then another scream. it was like he scream of terror or something. bonnie said "she sounds as though she's having severe depression". well yeah, she was kinda true... then two girls suddenly showed up at the door, knocked and said "erm, sorry for all the noise, cause our friend just got her phone confiscated"

i see why now. she cries and screams, all for a phone. i guess the teacher was pretty nasty. okay i didnt know who the heck the teacher was until after recess when it was emath and mrs kunna came in, told us she confiscated a girl's phone, because she was using it in class, smsing "some boy" (i'm just quoting what she said). so yeah. thats why she was outside OUR classroom, cause the CONFISCATION took place in OUR classroom. sad case huh? but it was a little too exaggerated over a phone right? i mean you'll still get your sim card back. you'll get the phone back at the end of the term i think... but well, since it's the START of them term, i kinda understand...

yesh, it was freaky.

met up with jinwei, kage and erm jinwei's friend (sorry togu, i dont remember her name). yeah lester and i met up with them at take and we sat at pasta cafe for more than an hour. i guess it was entertaining listening to their jokes and all that. jinwei bought the dn2 ost and hahaha i still dont get why they said it was the advanced and hi-tech way of using the deathnote. omg i'm slow, very slow.

which reminds me why i'm A YEAR slow... i just told zong today "omg, did you change your specs?" according to them (gerri and savie), she changed them a year ago. yeah, now you get why.

AHAHAHAHHAHA this blog is gonna be 3 years old man!!!! in another 1 month and 1 day, happy birthday BLOG. sheesh. that was wheelchair.

anyway, i'm totally, not totally, DRAINED. if i were totally drained, then i would typing this in my sleep right? ah-ha-ha, bu hao xiao (omg thats so james) yeah, because of pe FIRST thing in the morning. yeah yeah.

bleagh, i'm gonna sleep, good ngiht. bye =)

[sweet world.]

it wasnt the end.

yiqi and gerri gave me three pair of earrings, hahaha at least it isnt that alte compared to last year. come on, they gave me a pig 6-7 months after my birthday =.= thanks for them though, know you two went down to bugis just to specially get them.

asther and enchou got me some bleach stuff from comics connection. hahaha, i heard she (asther) wanted to get me the 69 dollar figurine, ex =.= but thanks anyhow, i'm glad my laopo had her happy ending.

i heard ben still has two more presents for me, and he was flooding the forums. omg. he is crazy lar... i think togusa got mad and locked all the well, ahem, obscene, ahem, threads.

the fact is, i still do feel horrid about what i did in the past. yeah the stupid mistakes i made to hurt people and in turn, hurt myself as well. it was my selfishness that really got me, right there, hit-on.

yeah i'm still good at hurting people, what an idiot. i still throw tantrums and make people feel horrid. one very good example, would be my mum, next lester, next the close friends i have around me. hahaha i can make people hate me for no reason too, pro eh? hahaha no idea, i dont know, i dont know. what can i do? really, what can i do? just sit here and watch, wait for that SOMETHING to fall from the sky, then yay(!)? gee.

at that point of time, i hurt someone very very dear to me, as well as my best friend. i was starting to get so... rah. i started to worry almost everyone around me. even chrystal was wondering if i lost my sanity or something. yeah i was dazed in class. haha, right, since when was i NOT dazed? but anyhow, it happened.

i'm not making any sense, am i? i cant predict what i'll do next, but i just want to keep things the way they are now. i just dont want to start losing, and right till the end, emo in a corner and cry. sucks.

this is such a crappy entry since i havent blogged for 7 days, a week.

oh yeah. i got scolded in class for nothing. retarded story. and savie cant stop laughing at me. yes, i've been rather clumsy and retarded ever since i got back to school.

cca orientation today, i didnt go :'( yes, my last year, and i dont show up. but i heard things went well. thats good to hear i guess. hope the new juniors are not the kinds who love to slack and not come for cca meetings, cause thats what every senior wouldnt want, omg, it's scaring me.

i helped out with their happy ending yest. yeah i know it isnt the end, but haha yeah, at least they kinda resolved "everything". yay for them. haha

i hope i do well for that amath test. i put in hell lot of an effort for that stupid 14-qn test, really. hahaha okay, out of the 14 qns, i managed at least 11 of them, confident of getting an A or a B. wow this is the first time i've felt this confident. haha

bleagh, the newspaper collection is CANCELLED.rah, cause.... he forgot about us. tada, tada! hahaha okay lar... but yeah it's cancelled, and i dont know whats gonna happen cause we already gave out the flyers and it has our school name on it, omigosh... hahaha

ah well, enjoy your weekend, have fun, sayonara :)

[sweet sixteen.]

it was my birthday yesterday.

lester gave me flowers, chocolate and a bottle of wine, haha thanks =D

hahahaha tricia and clovis gave me a really nice present, a forever friends mug! hahaha thanks!!! it's really cute.

edmund gave me 16 stars in a box with a message! haha yeah it's really sweet, thanks kor =)

james gave me this nice keyboard, haha thanks man =)

ms lim gave me chocolates haha, thanks :)

hahaha i was getting more presents this year... well i hvnt got so many presents on my birthday before... and hahaha a lot of people remembered my birthday cause of the friendster reminders, hahahaha yeah, but thanks for all the birthday wishes. when i have the time, i'll post the photos here :)

need to complete my homework, bye :)

[an unspoken fear.]

first day of school. they start talking about the o levels. yeah no surprise. new form teacher is mrs kunna, and since she was telling us all the shoulds and should-nots, i was really starting to get really scared.

it was a rather boring day... with 2 free periods (which lasted 1hr and 10 mins). gerri and i were talking about vex and well, thats all we could talk about... yeah, we were talking about what can be done right now, and stuff like that.

oh yeah, i finished the sweets jinwei gave to me, haha nice.

i was a little out of this world and when joseph sent me an sms about some good news, i was kinda brightened up a lil and yeah hope that little piece of good news would help me get through today.

should i have dinner outside or at home? i'll still be having it alone anyway... so should i cook some instant noodles at home or go out to buy? you know what? maybe i'll just eat an apple like i did for recess today. yeah i ate an apple and nothing else... well my mum did ask me to stop eating so much. lol.

savie, gerri and zong came over after school. we were just talking about some issues and well gerri and i decided to get our information for our project from the textbook since we kinda did it during the 2 free periods.

hahaha i need to buy a lot of things.. well i kinda just realised... i need to buy

1 amath file
1 emath file
1 ss file
1 chem file
1 chinese file
labels
a new file

yeah, i shall buy these stuff buy my subject files by tomorrow? or friday.. the bookshop is always so crowded, as usual... as for labellers, guess i'll buy it with my files... new file prolly from popular haha.

need the space for more TYSs and all the notes... for o levels =.=

i'll clear my stuff now.

i hope i can stop being like this. just hope nothing bad happens just when i have so much faith in it.

[all of my tears will air dry with just a little time.]

haha have been rather lazy to blog.

anyways, back in sg. it was super warm in KL, warmer than in sg because there are more trees in sg. yes, so please protect the trees.

this is how heavy the mist is in genting... it's taken from my hotel room, on the 12th floor.
















yeah i thought i couldnt enter the outdoor theme park because of the mist, but i did in the end, because haha the weather was pretty okay after a while.






























there was this guy on this ride. and well, i was in the queue... then whoosh! something flew over my head and the next thing i heard was something breaking. i looked behind and there, a phone smashed. GG, ultimate GG! anyway, we were all wondering whose it is and pretty sad man, the phone was wrecked and in PIECES. yeah it was some guy's phone... you see the bottom left hand corner of the first photo? yeah the phone broke into pieces there and i was not too far from it... i didnt take a photo of it though, it just looked bad. my cousin was in love with this ride... so i kept going on it with her for like 3 times?

my cousin was in love with this rodeo thing, i have no idea why. it just goes up and down... haha cause she was too short and too light for the more thrilling rides my bro and i went on, she was so upset she cried. yeah you know the space shot? the one that brings you all the way up into the sky and suddenly it just goes all the way down, yeah you get the idea. well she wanted to go on that one. even i dont dare to. but she's 6 man, how to go on that thing? there was this rodeo thing that was well, kinda like a smaller version of that...
















she's the one on the far left.

oh yeah, the mcnuggets in malaysia are packed like this
















and yeah the fries are not as salty as the fries in sg. haha
















the bumpy ride from genting to KL.....

the 28th and 29th were spent in KL. wahhh it was freaking hot there.

bought stuff there. duh. and walked a lot, now my foot STILL hurts... this is bad, very bad. i dont wanna be bai ka.

the bus ride from KL back to singapore was rah... my stupid tv was screwed up when i was right a the end of fantastic four, super dang. but well, it was better after a while, but it was not again. ahhh.....

haha spent new year's eve with jinwei, james, dom, jasper and ben. we were on the waiting list of irc. we gave up halfway and went to the irc at parklane instead, jasper left when we were paying. yeah lanned for like 3 hours, played bf2. we spent the first minute of the year killing each other.

so yeah, out countdown was at 7-11, at 12.44am. dom bought a chicken bun and was cooking it. jinwei and i went eating and talking. then dom tapped me on the shoulder and said "look look, we're having a countdown" james, dom and ben were having a countdown, just when the timer reached 10, they started to countdown "10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1"

dom: yay!!!
james: happy new year dom!!!
ben: hahaha

jinwei and i were standing at a side laughing at their silliness, alright all of were doing weird things... because there was this queue for the microwave and they were ahem staring at us. haha. we're crazy, yeah.

anyways, jinwei was sweet to get me something from japan!!! hahaha yeah, deathnote and sweets. i'm eating the sweets right now, they're nice man.
















despite being pink, they're nice and sweet.
















present in wrapper (excluding the sweets.. they were wrapped in green paper and stuck on top of this.)

















togusa's only notebook, now it's mine MUAHAHAHA, joking haha. i noticed there was something scribbled at the bottom of the note (on the wrapper) and then it was cancelled. it said "and i am not ryuk." hahaha cute sia.

haha thanks jinwei!

hahaha and james! wahhhhh he got me a keyboard o.o must be damn ex... hvnt got a photo of it yet because it's still with turtle hahaha... thanks man!

lester too! haiyoh he got me so many things... haha the battlefield 2, the battlefield 2142, and the necklace... thanks!!!
















my mum, she got me my vision M... haha thanks!!!
















the happy new year didnt turn out very happy... there were bombings in bangkok... kage and lester were still there... well lester was in the hotel, so well, it wasnt bombed, thankfully... but kage... jinwei was trying so hard to call her... he couldnt the whole night last night, up till this afternoon, when she's finally back in sg.

was supposed to watch dn2, but didnt in the end. ah well, i'll try to find time again, haha i'll try.

a whole of unhappy things at home as well. dying in this crossfire. being dragged into it. and i'm facing problems of my own too. i'm just lousy, always screwing things up. sigh... moodless, just like jinwei... if jinwei is not moodless, then i think i'm the only one who is. seriously... i'm just not in the mood to do anything... i was suppsoedly writing my essay today... i wrote half of it and went to play the guitar... i didnt even play it like really play it... i was just holding it most of the time or strumming without any notes.... when lester called, i was speaking in such an irritated tone... sorry... i didn't mean it.

adding on to my burdens, i think i'll just die. what at thing to say on the first day of the year. i'm just wasting away. i just want to lie in bed and do nothing.

well, happy new year to all =)