[your love was like an incomplete sentence.]
it was pretty much an enjoyable day.
was running around in the morning. went to ymca(stevens road) to hand the famine camp forms to brenda before rushing back to tp just to meet celine, who was 15 mins late. we headed down to the mi carnival and spent a whole 3 hours there. yeah i won a fish. haha it's small but i have got no food to feed it, its not even eating the bread skin i've given it! i hope it'll survive. the carnival was pretty much a success from the sound of it. the school was packed and yeah it was pretty fun walking around and stuff. dont know when it'll be the next time i'll see them so yeah...
after the carnival, seline and i rushed back to tp, to get ready to go out again to the bwl convention at the singapore indoor stadium. yeah it was really fun there. well, besides announcing the million dollars achievers and all. well, we were split up. capri, cheryl, zheng ying and li juin sat at one end, while celine, celine's 2 sisters (chloe and chomel) and me were sitting at the other end. then celine's dad managed to get us down to the 1st storey, somewhere near the vip area and the stage. then, celine and i switched places with her parents, and ended up sitting in the vip area. basically, we moved right up front, 5th or 6th row from the front. there were performances by taufik batisah, billy wang and 5566. haha taufik's performance was pretty okay.. didnt see much because we were sitting in the area near the vip area. we only moved up when they were announcing the million dollar achievers. so came billy wang and his totally weird hairdo (we didn't like it) and haha the 5566 performance was rocking. haha the audience was given noisemakers and celine and i had 3 in total. so we were waving them in the air and making noise out of them (serving its purpose). yeah... we only sang along in one song which we both knew. and it was quite embarrrassing. because the vip area was split into 3. we were in the far right, where the million dollar achievers were sitting. so in the particular area, only celine and my arms were swaying from left to right. celine kept insisting 5566 saw us, but heck. and it was really a fortunate situation. we were sitting somewhere so close to the stage and all, so we had a better view. haha we all went mad. and mag is so gonna be jealous because i saw shaowei (erqi). whee. haha joking. but she was jealous when she knew i was going for this. HAHA. it was really fun. took lots of photos and videos. yeah... it's pretty cool how someone can earn 23 million dollars for the company in a year. celine and i were like 'i want the money =|' and that person who earned 23 million dollars in a year for the company is a female! haha no more women cant work crap.
well, i'm kinda blog hopping and decided to pay a visit to dom and gina's blog. they blogged about the carnival and stuff, and kinda glad they had fun. yeah, i guess thats the most important. haha hope the upcoming netball carnival this wednesday will be fun.
ai qing mo fa shi ep 1-10 out already. but its $29. argh.
i'm taking this last chance. this may just help me make a decision to give it up or not. but things kinda tell me 'you have to give up' and stuff like that. yeah, i'm feeling negative now, not good at all. i'm still trying to think positive, think think think positive. but there's something on the back of my mind that tells me 'whoa, no way will you ever survive in such a sticky situation'. sheesh, i seriously need intense brainwashing. i need to forget that 'thing' bugging me. but i'm going to take this last chance.
replies to tags:
anonymous - thanks for that. there are just some things difficult to accept all at once and when they start, it'll take a long time for it to stop. well, not sure if you knew what had happened, but thanks for it anyway... btw, do i know you? i probably do... who are you?
matilda - erm... they're not fickle. and erqi sacrificed so much, it's his part. yi xiang qing yuan. xiaobei didnt beg him or anything. just because erqi sacrificed his life for her, does that mean she has to marry him? if so, she's marrying him just to repay her so called debts, not because she loves him or anything. and she went along with erqi because she thought she had fallen for him. and up to that moment, she never was in a relationship, so how could she be so sure? it's not fickle. yasi isn't fickle. yasi is with qingkong because its as if qingkong cant live without him. and he did make promises when he loved qingkong. then qingkong suddenly decides to leave for her selfish reasons. yasi went through a lot until he met xiaobei three years later. he suffered and xiaobei helped him out of it. qingkong cant be so selfish to do as she wishes you know? its not as if yasi is a puppet or anything. he cant control his feelings and navigate them as and where qingkong wants it. it's really qingkong's fault to begin with. it's not that they're fickle. and xiaobei met yasi first!!!
xinmin - haha okay... i will when i have the time... it'll be really hectic for me for the rest of the year.. sorry...
Friday, May 19, 2006
[dull ranbow]
i'm feeling down because someone is feeling down. sigh... sometimes, i think it might just be my fault when things like these happen.
was supposed to be all happy and stuff since i came home. then when i noticed something, i just got so pissed off i'm isolating myself just in case i scream at someone...
i've been weird for the past two days. so much for trying to hide everything huh? when i do so so so badly for my exam, i start to get all moody, then nuts later... either i'm emotionless or something seriously is wrong with me.
there is something i want to try, but afraid of what might happen later. i'm seriously stuck with what to do next?
when i see them so unhappy now, i seriously don't know what to do to make them feel better. 'are you okay?' was the best i could do... i couldnt ask them what happen, or why they're feeling so down and all. what can i do? i feel like a total failure now. not being able to help my friends, neither can i do well academically. i really wonder what is in for me in future? i rather die then lead a worthless life. a life with no direction and constantly failing. sometimes, it just isn't fair. you could be working so hard for something and it just vanishes in a moment. i given up my dream,, because i know i'm just getting further and further away from it. and when i make an attempt to take a step closer, i realise i will never ever make it. i'll just keep drifting away from it.
i miss the past now. wouldnt it be nice if time could be reversed. yeah so many yearned for that to happen. was reading theresa's blog when i started to learn about bipolar disorder. i might just be suffering from it now... sigh.
i know i've been through it before. it was a tough and horrible experience... i dont want the same to happen to someone else... but why is it that i am unable to help her? to think of a solution for her? this problem stuck with me for about 6 months. it has made me such a depressed person. i was constantly thinking about suicide and although i seldom do anymore, my relationship with my family has been so strained i seriously dont know what to do to fill up the gaps.
i suck as a student, as a friend, as a daughter, as a sister, and worse of all, an ij girl. i think my talent is just failing in everything, doing badly, jeopardizing everyhting and being a jinx. sheesh....
sigh... i just hope i can feel better after some time.
i'm feeling down because someone is feeling down. sigh... sometimes, i think it might just be my fault when things like these happen.
was supposed to be all happy and stuff since i came home. then when i noticed something, i just got so pissed off i'm isolating myself just in case i scream at someone...
i've been weird for the past two days. so much for trying to hide everything huh? when i do so so so badly for my exam, i start to get all moody, then nuts later... either i'm emotionless or something seriously is wrong with me.
there is something i want to try, but afraid of what might happen later. i'm seriously stuck with what to do next?
when i see them so unhappy now, i seriously don't know what to do to make them feel better. 'are you okay?' was the best i could do... i couldnt ask them what happen, or why they're feeling so down and all. what can i do? i feel like a total failure now. not being able to help my friends, neither can i do well academically. i really wonder what is in for me in future? i rather die then lead a worthless life. a life with no direction and constantly failing. sometimes, it just isn't fair. you could be working so hard for something and it just vanishes in a moment. i given up my dream,, because i know i'm just getting further and further away from it. and when i make an attempt to take a step closer, i realise i will never ever make it. i'll just keep drifting away from it.
i miss the past now. wouldnt it be nice if time could be reversed. yeah so many yearned for that to happen. was reading theresa's blog when i started to learn about bipolar disorder. i might just be suffering from it now... sigh.
i know i've been through it before. it was a tough and horrible experience... i dont want the same to happen to someone else... but why is it that i am unable to help her? to think of a solution for her? this problem stuck with me for about 6 months. it has made me such a depressed person. i was constantly thinking about suicide and although i seldom do anymore, my relationship with my family has been so strained i seriously dont know what to do to fill up the gaps.
i suck as a student, as a friend, as a daughter, as a sister, and worse of all, an ij girl. i think my talent is just failing in everything, doing badly, jeopardizing everyhting and being a jinx. sheesh....
sigh... i just hope i can feel better after some time.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
[cheaper by the dozen 2]
reading debby's blog makes me wanna blog. haha weird right? yeah i know... haha
anyway... i've been really sleeping today. was supposed to have class discussion over the upcoming netball carnival next week, but fell asleep so not so clear about the details... then during recess...
oh and during recess, it just occured to me... it was debby's birthday last thursday!!! how could i have forgotten. ah. i'm so stupid i forgot. haha
oh. jac sent me a photo of her dog taking a nap and its really cute. it ended up as wallpaper on my phone and my display picture. haha but it doesnt like me at all... the last time i went to jac's place, it liked to look at me, and bark non-stop. haiyah. biased.
watched cheaper by the dozen 2 earlier. i borrowed it from jac and it's good. haha it's so darn funny that made me rewind it over just to have a good laugh all over again. yeah and one of the kids sarah had this innocent crush on the rival's kid, elliot. haha so the both of them went to the movies together and their fathers, who were rivals ended up spying on them. haha it was hilarious but i think sarah and elliot were really cute. all in all, it was a good movie. and i'm gonna watch sky high now. just feeling the urge to watch disney movies... haha i watched agent cody banks last night, haha although i watched that movie a million times, i never seem to get sick of it. haha.
papers returned tomorrow and i'm so not looking forward to it. i am prepared to receive a disgusting piece of work, done by me. wow! haha
was just looking at the stuff on my table and came across the christmas card debby made for me last year. it's stuck on my table lamp. haha so it kinda reminded me of how she urged me to stay away from ahem. haha i miss her a lot. it's been 5 months since she graduated and yeah... i miss the rest of the brudders too. denise is busy working... not sure about the rest but i guess they're just as busy too...
haha you'll think i'm mad or something. since i put the episode 15 preview on my blog. haha if you haven't seen it, refresh and dont click on the navigations. wait for this video to pop out and yeah. you can choose not to watch it of course.
after reading gina's blog... i was reminded of the me 2-3 months back. yeah... it was a headache. yeah it brings joy, yet misery at the same time. it's so troublesome it can make you so moody for a week or even more. sigh.
reading debby's blog makes me wanna blog. haha weird right? yeah i know... haha
anyway... i've been really sleeping today. was supposed to have class discussion over the upcoming netball carnival next week, but fell asleep so not so clear about the details... then during recess...
oh and during recess, it just occured to me... it was debby's birthday last thursday!!! how could i have forgotten. ah. i'm so stupid i forgot. haha
oh. jac sent me a photo of her dog taking a nap and its really cute. it ended up as wallpaper on my phone and my display picture. haha but it doesnt like me at all... the last time i went to jac's place, it liked to look at me, and bark non-stop. haiyah. biased.
watched cheaper by the dozen 2 earlier. i borrowed it from jac and it's good. haha it's so darn funny that made me rewind it over just to have a good laugh all over again. yeah and one of the kids sarah had this innocent crush on the rival's kid, elliot. haha so the both of them went to the movies together and their fathers, who were rivals ended up spying on them. haha it was hilarious but i think sarah and elliot were really cute. all in all, it was a good movie. and i'm gonna watch sky high now. just feeling the urge to watch disney movies... haha i watched agent cody banks last night, haha although i watched that movie a million times, i never seem to get sick of it. haha.
papers returned tomorrow and i'm so not looking forward to it. i am prepared to receive a disgusting piece of work, done by me. wow! haha
was just looking at the stuff on my table and came across the christmas card debby made for me last year. it's stuck on my table lamp. haha so it kinda reminded me of how she urged me to stay away from ahem. haha i miss her a lot. it's been 5 months since she graduated and yeah... i miss the rest of the brudders too. denise is busy working... not sure about the rest but i guess they're just as busy too...
haha you'll think i'm mad or something. since i put the episode 15 preview on my blog. haha if you haven't seen it, refresh and dont click on the navigations. wait for this video to pop out and yeah. you can choose not to watch it of course.
after reading gina's blog... i was reminded of the me 2-3 months back. yeah... it was a headache. yeah it brings joy, yet misery at the same time. it's so troublesome it can make you so moody for a week or even more. sigh.
Monday, May 15, 2006
[chalet]
the chalet was great. it was fun. although it was kind of a failure due to the rather inadequate number of people turning up, i had a great time.
the first day was just the bbq. the charcoal was low quality. haha, poor zong got cheated of her money... so we had to use the electric bbq pit jaslyn brought to cook the satay and the otah. we watched movies the moment we came in. so we pretty much wasted a lot of electricity. i was helping angie set up her xbox. just to play music. the funny thing was, we could neither hear nor see anything even after plugging in the right cables into the right ports. so we called the technician. he couldnt do anything either so we had to find a way out. i used the amplifier instead. well, there was sound, but no video. so no image. we had to play by ear, depending on our instincts and memory to play music. so angie and i were just sitting at the tv playing music and writing notes for everyone.
the first night was an interesting one. after dinner, jac, huda, savie, and many other people were cleaning up the place. well, the kitchen was really bad, with the black footprints around. so had to mop. but no detergent, so we only used water. was mopping the floor and washing the floor mats and cloth used to clean the place up. yeah limited sources. we had to use the soap in the bathroom to wash the stains off the cloth. it did work anyway. then we finally cleaned the place up. after that, we just packed the food properly and all. khym, savie, melissa and jaslyn fell asleep upstairs, while hannah, huda, jac and i decided to cook all the food for breakfast, so that they didnt have to get up at 12am to cook the food. they worked really hard so yeah.
huda, hannah, jac, cj ad i sat outside the chalet bbq-ing all the beef, chicken and satay. it took us about 3 hours and we cleaned up soon after. we took a shower and joined the rest who were watching munich. fell asleep on the floor watching coach carter and yeah they said i snored! must be too tired.
the second day was the best day ever. i was the laziest one who kept getting up, and then going back to sleep, then getting up, and going back to sleep, in the morning! yeah so when i got up for the last time, we watched the part of passion of the christ where jesus was crucified. so then we headed to the arcade. played the games there and played pool. then we bowled and played even more pool. at around 5pm, huda, ena, cj, bet, bonnie, zong and i headed to the swimming pool. ena, cj and i jumped in first. we spent so much time persuading huda to join us. then betina.... but she didnt want to in the end. we went into the jacuzzi which had disgusting water because we found hair in the water. gross. so we headed back. took a shower and had some dinner. it was jaslyn's mother's birthday so her family was there too. i was a pig. again. was sleeping in the room because my arm ached for no reason. the pain was eating into my bones like how it was in pennsylvania, when my arm was frozen. then woke up to play wacko, but we took a photo with jaslyn's mom and all before doing so. haha had water bomb fight and right after that, we found a place near the reception where we sat and just talked. headed back to bathe and watched new york minute.
the 2nd night was really fun. slept in the room with hannah, bonnie, ena, zong and betina. we were chatting and laughing so loudly we were afraid someone might hear us because savie, melissa, khym and jaslyn were already sleeping next door and jac, huda and cj were also sleeping downstairs. but we ended up talking about everything and laughing non-stop. we all fell asleep at around 3.30am. hannah said i was snoring and everyone heard it. ahhh she even recorded it and made me listen to it!!! haha i listened for like a second and just stoppe dthe entire thing. oh man. HAHA!
this morning, i was lazing again. apparently, i was the last person to wake up on both mornings. haiyah i woke up and went back to sleep. i thinhk hannah had to wake me up like 2-3 times. i still went back to sleep. then it was zong, ena and betina who finally woke me up and yeah. fortunately, i only had my towel hung on the railing and yeah. i had time to wash up and pack my towel. so someone came in to check that everyhting was alright and we left. headed to bishan for lunch. then, deborah, hannah, savie and i headed to jac's place. we watched survivor and went mad over aras, who won the million dollars. yeah... deborah left and i fell asleep watching the survivor reunion. when i awoke, savie, hannah and jac were just about to start on 'walk the line'. kinda went back to sleep and woke up again, changed the movie to oliver twist and yeah we stopped watching after 10min. read magazines and borrowed dvds. fell asleep reading the magazines. whoa i seriously lost count of how many times i fell asleep. but yeah..... when i awoke, savie was still sleeping and hannah and jac were just done reading. went home after that.
seriously didnt wanna come home. was having so much fun and all. but not the entire class was there to have fun. probably 1/3 only... we had so much space left at night. the bungalow was big enough for the entire class. but i cant believe i snored. well, i know i do sometimes but i thought i wouldnt be snoring at the chalet because i'm not really like used to living there, even for the first night. but i did, and hannah said everyone was laughing when they heard me snore. because there was this sudden silence except for my snore, so everyone laughed. i didnt hear anything. it was still amusing to hear though.
aqmfs ep 14 was such a disappointment man. was looking so forward to it after i came home, but it was kinda sucky. yasi was so stupid please.... because qingkong was in an accident, and he was on his way to meet xiaobei to tell her how he felt and all, he decided to turn back. she wasnt even seriously injured! and xiao bei said if he didnt turn up in 30 mins, she would leave. she didnt. she waited an hour, just for him. then that stupid fernando was urging erqi to go chase xiaobei back, and he did. he got there before yasi and by the time yasi got there, it was all too late. xiaobei agreed to erqi's proposal. sucky isnt it? argh. but was kinda happy when i watched the preview of episode 15. ahh i cant wait till next monday when whoever uploads the episode onto youtube, it'll be so exciting!!!!! the look on erqi's face was angry when he saw yasi and xiaobei in the phone booth. well, hurray for xiao bei and yasi, but i'll kinda pity erqi.... if you wanna know what happened, this is the link:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=pCyyYhCt_OQ&search=aqmfs%20ep15
cannot wait for episode 15. no. i cant wait for the entire series to be out in sg. it's taking forever. one episode per week is seriously torturous.
maybe it was the show that made me feel so irritated. for some reason, i was getting so annoyed with almost everything. ugh. i hate it.
the chalet was great. it was fun. although it was kind of a failure due to the rather inadequate number of people turning up, i had a great time.
the first day was just the bbq. the charcoal was low quality. haha, poor zong got cheated of her money... so we had to use the electric bbq pit jaslyn brought to cook the satay and the otah. we watched movies the moment we came in. so we pretty much wasted a lot of electricity. i was helping angie set up her xbox. just to play music. the funny thing was, we could neither hear nor see anything even after plugging in the right cables into the right ports. so we called the technician. he couldnt do anything either so we had to find a way out. i used the amplifier instead. well, there was sound, but no video. so no image. we had to play by ear, depending on our instincts and memory to play music. so angie and i were just sitting at the tv playing music and writing notes for everyone.
the first night was an interesting one. after dinner, jac, huda, savie, and many other people were cleaning up the place. well, the kitchen was really bad, with the black footprints around. so had to mop. but no detergent, so we only used water. was mopping the floor and washing the floor mats and cloth used to clean the place up. yeah limited sources. we had to use the soap in the bathroom to wash the stains off the cloth. it did work anyway. then we finally cleaned the place up. after that, we just packed the food properly and all. khym, savie, melissa and jaslyn fell asleep upstairs, while hannah, huda, jac and i decided to cook all the food for breakfast, so that they didnt have to get up at 12am to cook the food. they worked really hard so yeah.
huda, hannah, jac, cj ad i sat outside the chalet bbq-ing all the beef, chicken and satay. it took us about 3 hours and we cleaned up soon after. we took a shower and joined the rest who were watching munich. fell asleep on the floor watching coach carter and yeah they said i snored! must be too tired.
the second day was the best day ever. i was the laziest one who kept getting up, and then going back to sleep, then getting up, and going back to sleep, in the morning! yeah so when i got up for the last time, we watched the part of passion of the christ where jesus was crucified. so then we headed to the arcade. played the games there and played pool. then we bowled and played even more pool. at around 5pm, huda, ena, cj, bet, bonnie, zong and i headed to the swimming pool. ena, cj and i jumped in first. we spent so much time persuading huda to join us. then betina.... but she didnt want to in the end. we went into the jacuzzi which had disgusting water because we found hair in the water. gross. so we headed back. took a shower and had some dinner. it was jaslyn's mother's birthday so her family was there too. i was a pig. again. was sleeping in the room because my arm ached for no reason. the pain was eating into my bones like how it was in pennsylvania, when my arm was frozen. then woke up to play wacko, but we took a photo with jaslyn's mom and all before doing so. haha had water bomb fight and right after that, we found a place near the reception where we sat and just talked. headed back to bathe and watched new york minute.
the 2nd night was really fun. slept in the room with hannah, bonnie, ena, zong and betina. we were chatting and laughing so loudly we were afraid someone might hear us because savie, melissa, khym and jaslyn were already sleeping next door and jac, huda and cj were also sleeping downstairs. but we ended up talking about everything and laughing non-stop. we all fell asleep at around 3.30am. hannah said i was snoring and everyone heard it. ahhh she even recorded it and made me listen to it!!! haha i listened for like a second and just stoppe dthe entire thing. oh man. HAHA!
this morning, i was lazing again. apparently, i was the last person to wake up on both mornings. haiyah i woke up and went back to sleep. i thinhk hannah had to wake me up like 2-3 times. i still went back to sleep. then it was zong, ena and betina who finally woke me up and yeah. fortunately, i only had my towel hung on the railing and yeah. i had time to wash up and pack my towel. so someone came in to check that everyhting was alright and we left. headed to bishan for lunch. then, deborah, hannah, savie and i headed to jac's place. we watched survivor and went mad over aras, who won the million dollars. yeah... deborah left and i fell asleep watching the survivor reunion. when i awoke, savie, hannah and jac were just about to start on 'walk the line'. kinda went back to sleep and woke up again, changed the movie to oliver twist and yeah we stopped watching after 10min. read magazines and borrowed dvds. fell asleep reading the magazines. whoa i seriously lost count of how many times i fell asleep. but yeah..... when i awoke, savie was still sleeping and hannah and jac were just done reading. went home after that.
seriously didnt wanna come home. was having so much fun and all. but not the entire class was there to have fun. probably 1/3 only... we had so much space left at night. the bungalow was big enough for the entire class. but i cant believe i snored. well, i know i do sometimes but i thought i wouldnt be snoring at the chalet because i'm not really like used to living there, even for the first night. but i did, and hannah said everyone was laughing when they heard me snore. because there was this sudden silence except for my snore, so everyone laughed. i didnt hear anything. it was still amusing to hear though.
aqmfs ep 14 was such a disappointment man. was looking so forward to it after i came home, but it was kinda sucky. yasi was so stupid please.... because qingkong was in an accident, and he was on his way to meet xiaobei to tell her how he felt and all, he decided to turn back. she wasnt even seriously injured! and xiao bei said if he didnt turn up in 30 mins, she would leave. she didnt. she waited an hour, just for him. then that stupid fernando was urging erqi to go chase xiaobei back, and he did. he got there before yasi and by the time yasi got there, it was all too late. xiaobei agreed to erqi's proposal. sucky isnt it? argh. but was kinda happy when i watched the preview of episode 15. ahh i cant wait till next monday when whoever uploads the episode onto youtube, it'll be so exciting!!!!! the look on erqi's face was angry when he saw yasi and xiaobei in the phone booth. well, hurray for xiao bei and yasi, but i'll kinda pity erqi.... if you wanna know what happened, this is the link:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=pCyyYhCt_OQ&search=aqmfs%20ep15
cannot wait for episode 15. no. i cant wait for the entire series to be out in sg. it's taking forever. one episode per week is seriously torturous.
maybe it was the show that made me feel so irritated. for some reason, i was getting so annoyed with almost everything. ugh. i hate it.
Thursday, May 11, 2006
[-]
i always want to tell my mum something. something troubling me. but i dare not. i dont know why, but we always seem to argue.
i would only remember one incident that led to the current situation. i don't want to talk about it here, but at that time, i only know my mum refused to give her support in what i was doing. something that was very very important to me. i'm tired of all that arguing for the past few years. it was something that put me down and in a very difficult position. i wouldnt have said this to anyone, i never did, until now. and when i think about it, i just start to cry.
you may think i'm being so weird and all
but what you said, just stopped me in my tracks.
you wouldn't be able to tell how lousy i feel right now
it isn't a gift, but a mere coincidence
or maybe i did so well in hiding it
you would be sick and tired of me
for i've been so irritating
i could tell from your response and your reaction
and i'm not thinking too much
i was experiencing so much in that short period of time. they are always putting me down. i'm feeling extremely weak and helpless. i surpassed the limits of how much capacity i have to bottle things up. suddenly, all that encouragement doesnt seem to help anymore.
i always want to tell my mum something. something troubling me. but i dare not. i dont know why, but we always seem to argue.
i would only remember one incident that led to the current situation. i don't want to talk about it here, but at that time, i only know my mum refused to give her support in what i was doing. something that was very very important to me. i'm tired of all that arguing for the past few years. it was something that put me down and in a very difficult position. i wouldnt have said this to anyone, i never did, until now. and when i think about it, i just start to cry.
you may think i'm being so weird and all
but what you said, just stopped me in my tracks.
you wouldn't be able to tell how lousy i feel right now
it isn't a gift, but a mere coincidence
or maybe i did so well in hiding it
you would be sick and tired of me
for i've been so irritating
i could tell from your response and your reaction
and i'm not thinking too much
i was experiencing so much in that short period of time. they are always putting me down. i'm feeling extremely weak and helpless. i surpassed the limits of how much capacity i have to bottle things up. suddenly, all that encouragement doesnt seem to help anymore.
[water maze.]
here i am at 2.20am.
exams are over. not gonna talk about how they were anymore. they were horrendous.
i have started to interest myself with a new taiwanese drama serial, ai qing mo fa shi.
this is the only image i could find from the search engines. yeah... the taiwanese version of the aqmfs ost. the sg version of the ost isnt this one. will scan it in when i have the time.
anyway, gerri was the one who got me so hooked on the show i could have been suffereing withdrawal symptoms during the exam. i'm on episode 12 once again. it has almost the same storyline as wzbqw, but i would prefer aqmfs. starring mingdao, the whole 183 club except yan xing shu, sweety's zeng zi qiao and the whole 7f without chen qiao en. mingdao is once again playing mr. rich, boss of a hair salon. his character is du ya si, internationally well-known hair stylist. his dream is to fulfil every woman's dream of being beautiful. sounds gay? haha not at all. then here comes zeng zi qiao, as bei nuo yi, aka xiao bei. she starts off having this battle with neo-image (ya si's salon) because their salon was right opposite xiao bei's father's baber shop. after struggling for so long, she lost a bet and had to join neo-image, but ya si's main goal was to nurture her and educate her so that she can one day fulfil her dream of being a top stylist. yeah you should know what happens next. they fall in love then shaowei's character, lin er qi, is like in misery because his soon later girlfriend, xiao bei, is like in love with his best friend, ya si. does it sound familiar to you? yeah... a lot of other stuff happened and yes touching, funny, nice. oh and mingdao cried like... hmmm.. lets see.... at least 4 times? yeah watch it and cry along with him. haha joking... but yeah watch the show. it's really good.
unfortunately, the vcd isnt released till i dont know when. taiwan's still on episode 14, thats this sunday. slow man.... so i guess they have to have like 20 episodes or so in order for them to release the vcd in TAIWAN. then who knows? weeks later, it'll show up in sg. by then, i have to get it!!! haha, i'm watching it on youtube and i seem to enjoy it a lot, except my internet connection got cut off yest due to some technical faults, so i couldnt watch it. ahhhh... so i came home from taking a walk at orchard with gerri and my mum fixed the problem. so i'm so enjoying myself now. it's getting more complicated when ya si's ex girlfriend returns from england after 3 years when she was the one who abandoned him in taiwan to pursue her own selfish dreams without contacting him for 3 years. sheesh... so he like suffered for 3 years until he met xiao bei. YAYNESS! and i love the new 7f song... it reminds me of something though... but nevertheless, it's still ear candy =D
anyway... i promised mag i would blog about her if she did about me. haha we look like idiots blogging for each other and blogging ON each other's blog... btw, it was really mag who did that INVASION OF THE BLOG thing. haha well here i go
mag... lets see, when i first met her, she was probably like all peacock-like, but had a mind of her own, unlike me. back in sec 1, believe me, i didn't have a mind of my own. thats why i'm often taken advantage of. haha lately, gerri just stood up for me and yeah that was really sweet of her... but i feel so weak. ANYWAY, mag was like a smartie pants and she was good at almost everything. we didn't talk alot, but it was probably my fault for being so disconnected. maybe i still am but who cares. so mag and i were in the same class in lower sec. we pretty much had a lot of fun together. haha well, it was probably in the later part of the year or sec 2, when i started to be very good friends with her... she was however not who i thought she was. she wasn't as bad as i thought. okay... she's not peacock-like or anything, but she's positive, having a mind of her own, and having that confidence to keep her going. she knows she's procrastinating at times and yeah although she does stupid things, she's still my friend. after all, both of us like to do weird things. along with the other equalites. she was soon a good friend to me and we always played around like no one's business, oh yeah, not to mention the hand-game both of us were so good at but we hardly play nowadays. she's in 3/3 now... we're in diff classes. haha she never fails to make me notice her BECAUSE she likes to pull my hair, shout 'HI BRIANA!!!' so yeah... she did once, and i could be sure the entire canteen heard her. it was during recess, and you should know how noisy the canteen is during recess. haha... but i always make fun of her, tease her, 'bullying' her and all. haha it amuses her though, so yeah... it can be fun being around with her, and you can sometimes feel a little stressed when she starts talking about academic. haha. and her sister(s) like techno music... haha she doesn't though. it's pretty amazing how she could live with techno music playing in the bg for long hours. if my brother did that for 24 hours, i would blow up. or rather, my ears would blow up. haha. other than that, i like to force her to watch stuff on youtube. no worries, not porn. but videos like final fantasy videos and recently, i sent her a link of the ending of kingdom hearts. haha doubt she watched it but yeah i def made her watch the final fantasy x-2 1000 words vid. haha she had feedback. oh and i influenced her to watch some of the taiwanese drama serials i watch and she loves them too... see the point of using the word 'influence'? haha but its okay... all in all, mag is a wonderful friend and thats why she's a part of the equalites and my good friend.
i've fulfilled my promise =) haha shall go on to episode 12 and maybe 13... cant wait for 14, since it'll probably be on youtube like next monday? and class chalet is this sat. so i probably can come back in time for it. not to forget bleach episode 79 waiting for me in the download folder now... haha yeah. its 2.55am. shall continue with my marathon!! bye!!
here i am at 2.20am.
exams are over. not gonna talk about how they were anymore. they were horrendous.
i have started to interest myself with a new taiwanese drama serial, ai qing mo fa shi.
this is the only image i could find from the search engines. yeah... the taiwanese version of the aqmfs ost. the sg version of the ost isnt this one. will scan it in when i have the time.
anyway, gerri was the one who got me so hooked on the show i could have been suffereing withdrawal symptoms during the exam. i'm on episode 12 once again. it has almost the same storyline as wzbqw, but i would prefer aqmfs. starring mingdao, the whole 183 club except yan xing shu, sweety's zeng zi qiao and the whole 7f without chen qiao en. mingdao is once again playing mr. rich, boss of a hair salon. his character is du ya si, internationally well-known hair stylist. his dream is to fulfil every woman's dream of being beautiful. sounds gay? haha not at all. then here comes zeng zi qiao, as bei nuo yi, aka xiao bei. she starts off having this battle with neo-image (ya si's salon) because their salon was right opposite xiao bei's father's baber shop. after struggling for so long, she lost a bet and had to join neo-image, but ya si's main goal was to nurture her and educate her so that she can one day fulfil her dream of being a top stylist. yeah you should know what happens next. they fall in love then shaowei's character, lin er qi, is like in misery because his soon later girlfriend, xiao bei, is like in love with his best friend, ya si. does it sound familiar to you? yeah... a lot of other stuff happened and yes touching, funny, nice. oh and mingdao cried like... hmmm.. lets see.... at least 4 times? yeah watch it and cry along with him. haha joking... but yeah watch the show. it's really good.
unfortunately, the vcd isnt released till i dont know when. taiwan's still on episode 14, thats this sunday. slow man.... so i guess they have to have like 20 episodes or so in order for them to release the vcd in TAIWAN. then who knows? weeks later, it'll show up in sg. by then, i have to get it!!! haha, i'm watching it on youtube and i seem to enjoy it a lot, except my internet connection got cut off yest due to some technical faults, so i couldnt watch it. ahhhh... so i came home from taking a walk at orchard with gerri and my mum fixed the problem. so i'm so enjoying myself now. it's getting more complicated when ya si's ex girlfriend returns from england after 3 years when she was the one who abandoned him in taiwan to pursue her own selfish dreams without contacting him for 3 years. sheesh... so he like suffered for 3 years until he met xiao bei. YAYNESS! and i love the new 7f song... it reminds me of something though... but nevertheless, it's still ear candy =D
anyway... i promised mag i would blog about her if she did about me. haha we look like idiots blogging for each other and blogging ON each other's blog... btw, it was really mag who did that INVASION OF THE BLOG thing. haha well here i go
mag... lets see, when i first met her, she was probably like all peacock-like, but had a mind of her own, unlike me. back in sec 1, believe me, i didn't have a mind of my own. thats why i'm often taken advantage of. haha lately, gerri just stood up for me and yeah that was really sweet of her... but i feel so weak. ANYWAY, mag was like a smartie pants and she was good at almost everything. we didn't talk alot, but it was probably my fault for being so disconnected. maybe i still am but who cares. so mag and i were in the same class in lower sec. we pretty much had a lot of fun together. haha well, it was probably in the later part of the year or sec 2, when i started to be very good friends with her... she was however not who i thought she was. she wasn't as bad as i thought. okay... she's not peacock-like or anything, but she's positive, having a mind of her own, and having that confidence to keep her going. she knows she's procrastinating at times and yeah although she does stupid things, she's still my friend. after all, both of us like to do weird things. along with the other equalites. she was soon a good friend to me and we always played around like no one's business, oh yeah, not to mention the hand-game both of us were so good at but we hardly play nowadays. she's in 3/3 now... we're in diff classes. haha she never fails to make me notice her BECAUSE she likes to pull my hair, shout 'HI BRIANA!!!' so yeah... she did once, and i could be sure the entire canteen heard her. it was during recess, and you should know how noisy the canteen is during recess. haha... but i always make fun of her, tease her, 'bullying' her and all. haha it amuses her though, so yeah... it can be fun being around with her, and you can sometimes feel a little stressed when she starts talking about academic. haha. and her sister(s) like techno music... haha she doesn't though. it's pretty amazing how she could live with techno music playing in the bg for long hours. if my brother did that for 24 hours, i would blow up. or rather, my ears would blow up. haha. other than that, i like to force her to watch stuff on youtube. no worries, not porn. but videos like final fantasy videos and recently, i sent her a link of the ending of kingdom hearts. haha doubt she watched it but yeah i def made her watch the final fantasy x-2 1000 words vid. haha she had feedback. oh and i influenced her to watch some of the taiwanese drama serials i watch and she loves them too... see the point of using the word 'influence'? haha but its okay... all in all, mag is a wonderful friend and thats why she's a part of the equalites and my good friend.
i've fulfilled my promise =) haha shall go on to episode 12 and maybe 13... cant wait for 14, since it'll probably be on youtube like next monday? and class chalet is this sat. so i probably can come back in time for it. not to forget bleach episode 79 waiting for me in the download folder now... haha yeah. its 2.55am. shall continue with my marathon!! bye!!
Sunday, May 07, 2006
THE INVASION OF THE BLOG
HELLO ALL! I am Briana Ang. Today's post will be more about myself, and how I think of myself from an outsider's point of view. As you are probably wondering, how would I, Briana Ang, know myself from an outsider's point of view. Easy, I got an outsider to do it, namely, me. Are you getting confused? Let me help. So, basically, this post is about me, Briana Ang and it is written by an outsider, me. I bet I made you more confused. No worries however! At the end of this post, you will know absolutely everything and you will leave this blog, with the same amount of knowledge you have now. Of course, it would be wonderful to increase your knowledge but it's not possible and I personally feel that the addition of knowledge should be done by you and yourself only. So yes, back to the main topic.
Briana Ang, how can begin to describe her or more like me? She trusts me alot. I mean, of course I trust myself. Oh goodness. This is such a confusing post. Even I, Briana Ang and the outsider am getting confused. So, I think I should end here.
Based on my style of writing, I'm pretty sure you all know who wrote this. And, it's definitely not me. So, before you leave with the same amount of knowledge as five minutes ago (or was it ten? ), I feel obliged to de-confuse all of you poor readers.
So, before I do that, (you see, I just adore keeping people in suspense) , I wish to express how fortunate I feel to be able to write here. I am sure that you have found this entry highly amusing although its content level is ZERO.
Now, the CLIMAX!
I = Magdalene Lim
GOOD NIGHT!
Give me your password and username too! If you want a post like this, so highly amusing on your blog!
Saturday, May 06, 2006
[randomness]
the emath paper was demoralising. not only did i not finish the last question of the paper, it was tough and i got confused half way through. great!
all that's left is geography, physics, chemistry, chinese paper 2 and amath. ahhh seriously gonna die.
still debating.... this is irritating.
mag, you owe me the credits =)
okay that was random. but oh wells. spent like half an hour fixing mag's tagboard because she has problems choosing the right colour. and spent an hour searching for a blogskin for her since her orange layout was ahem. but yeah she found one in the end. didnt really help but came across a lot of weird layouts. there was one that just had the name magdalene all over and yes it was disgusting.
started on csi season 2 and i'm just waiting for it to be more interesting. well, it's kinda funny since the coroners and chemists like to make a fool of themselves. dancing around, thinking no one comes in and then two forensic scientists come in, giving them that stupid look. haha.
watched ff7ac last night. currently sufferring from withdrawal symptoms. aeris shouldn't have died. then again, she appeared out of nowhere and managed to heal everyone of their geostigma. i just dont know how. sephiroth killed her in ff7 right??? but yes love the graphics and you can cry watching it. haha the fighting scenes were cool, all of them had agility and you could see them evading each other's attack.
ah well, shall stop here. ta.
the emath paper was demoralising. not only did i not finish the last question of the paper, it was tough and i got confused half way through. great!
all that's left is geography, physics, chemistry, chinese paper 2 and amath. ahhh seriously gonna die.
still debating.... this is irritating.
mag, you owe me the credits =)
okay that was random. but oh wells. spent like half an hour fixing mag's tagboard because she has problems choosing the right colour. and spent an hour searching for a blogskin for her since her orange layout was ahem. but yeah she found one in the end. didnt really help but came across a lot of weird layouts. there was one that just had the name magdalene all over and yes it was disgusting.
started on csi season 2 and i'm just waiting for it to be more interesting. well, it's kinda funny since the coroners and chemists like to make a fool of themselves. dancing around, thinking no one comes in and then two forensic scientists come in, giving them that stupid look. haha.
watched ff7ac last night. currently sufferring from withdrawal symptoms. aeris shouldn't have died. then again, she appeared out of nowhere and managed to heal everyone of their geostigma. i just dont know how. sephiroth killed her in ff7 right??? but yes love the graphics and you can cry watching it. haha the fighting scenes were cool, all of them had agility and you could see them evading each other's attack.
ah well, shall stop here. ta.
Thursday, May 04, 2006
[magdalene + dilemma]
i shall mention the name 'magdalene' in this post since mag did the same in hers.
haha tell you this embarrassing mistake mag made when we were going home. we walked past ts and they were advertising final fantasy 7 advent children... so it was just about the part where cloud was fighting with the brothers and stuff. so i was like 'look! final fantasy!! haha cloud is super cool!' so she was like 'isn't that that what final fantasy advent CHRISTMAS movie? i think my sis watched it.' so i said 'huh? no such thing as advent christmas lar! its advent children!!! is it like that on your com?' 'haha i don't know! i know its advent something'
haha how did she even think of christmas? she's either backward or something... do you even see snow in the movie? haha so it was def a good laugh. i showed her the final fantasy x-2 clip where yuna was singing the song, 1000 words. she said it wasnt good. said the words didnt go with the movement of the mouth. the graphics are wow, W-O-W!
then she borrowed my ez-link card because she didnt bring her wallet and couldnt get home, unless she walks lar... so now, she's threatening me, saying she wont return it to me tomorrow. stupid girl. i need it on sat lar! if you dont bring it on tomorrow, you can be delivery girl for the day yeah? HAHA. i'm so mean.
and history was a FLOP. BIG FLOP. haha not exactly. but i just went in with a blank mind. but i made it through so yeah...
okay although i told mag this entry will def be longer than hers, but our recent topic just made me lose interest in blogging now... we just talked about that certain subject and i'm kinda disappointed. not in her but someone else.. sigh.
i hope denise is doing fine in laselle. hardly or never see her online anymore. probably busy and all. hope she's doing well, shall sms her later... it's debby's guitar concert tomorrow. wanna go but dont have the chance to. haha... well good luck debby! you wont play the wrong notes...
i'm just debating with myself, whether to go this saturday or not. i want to go, but then again, i dont want to because i'm afraid of something. its not because i'm angry with something or someone... but i'm just afraid. what to do with the $20 now??? i gotta do something about them right? i'm just staring at them and they're staring at me. what? staring competition? sigh
yeah i forgotten about it, not completely but its near completion. i dont need any help with forgetting now okay... i believe in depending on myself to forget. thanks.... sigh..
i shall mention the name 'magdalene' in this post since mag did the same in hers.
haha tell you this embarrassing mistake mag made when we were going home. we walked past ts and they were advertising final fantasy 7 advent children... so it was just about the part where cloud was fighting with the brothers and stuff. so i was like 'look! final fantasy!! haha cloud is super cool!' so she was like 'isn't that that what final fantasy advent CHRISTMAS movie? i think my sis watched it.' so i said 'huh? no such thing as advent christmas lar! its advent children!!! is it like that on your com?' 'haha i don't know! i know its advent something'
haha how did she even think of christmas? she's either backward or something... do you even see snow in the movie? haha so it was def a good laugh. i showed her the final fantasy x-2 clip where yuna was singing the song, 1000 words. she said it wasnt good. said the words didnt go with the movement of the mouth. the graphics are wow, W-O-W!
then she borrowed my ez-link card because she didnt bring her wallet and couldnt get home, unless she walks lar... so now, she's threatening me, saying she wont return it to me tomorrow. stupid girl. i need it on sat lar! if you dont bring it on tomorrow, you can be delivery girl for the day yeah? HAHA. i'm so mean.
and history was a FLOP. BIG FLOP. haha not exactly. but i just went in with a blank mind. but i made it through so yeah...
okay although i told mag this entry will def be longer than hers, but our recent topic just made me lose interest in blogging now... we just talked about that certain subject and i'm kinda disappointed. not in her but someone else.. sigh.
i hope denise is doing fine in laselle. hardly or never see her online anymore. probably busy and all. hope she's doing well, shall sms her later... it's debby's guitar concert tomorrow. wanna go but dont have the chance to. haha... well good luck debby! you wont play the wrong notes...
i'm just debating with myself, whether to go this saturday or not. i want to go, but then again, i dont want to because i'm afraid of something. its not because i'm angry with something or someone... but i'm just afraid. what to do with the $20 now??? i gotta do something about them right? i'm just staring at them and they're staring at me. what? staring competition? sigh
yeah i forgotten about it, not completely but its near completion. i dont need any help with forgetting now okay... i believe in depending on myself to forget. thanks.... sigh..
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
[i'm stubborn]
ss and chinese exams today.
ss put a smile on my face. its the very first time i smiled to an exam paper like that. people must thinks i'm nuts. the same reason goes to why matilda loves me a lot now. this was what happened. yesterday... matilda said she wanted to discuss social studies with me. haha so yeah i did. and it worked really well. so yeah... i gave her essay questions and we both did them together. she set q2 while i set q1 and q3. well waddya know? q3 was the essay question for the exam. and for that, she loves me, and i was smiling to myself for practising with that question.
and yes i got the job last night. no money but well, its out of interest isn't it, so no need for money. it's probably a chance to learn new stuff too.
i'm in a lousy mood now. because of something that happened after i came home. up to now, i'm just moody. something that happened. thats why i'm in no mood to study for the history exam tomorrow.
speaking of the history exam, since i only need to be in school at 10.45am tomorrow. it means i can mug till late tonight. haha okay..
heard of spontaneous human combustion? haha. i'm... being sadistic
ss and chinese exams today.
ss put a smile on my face. its the very first time i smiled to an exam paper like that. people must thinks i'm nuts. the same reason goes to why matilda loves me a lot now. this was what happened. yesterday... matilda said she wanted to discuss social studies with me. haha so yeah i did. and it worked really well. so yeah... i gave her essay questions and we both did them together. she set q2 while i set q1 and q3. well waddya know? q3 was the essay question for the exam. and for that, she loves me, and i was smiling to myself for practising with that question.
and yes i got the job last night. no money but well, its out of interest isn't it, so no need for money. it's probably a chance to learn new stuff too.
i'm in a lousy mood now. because of something that happened after i came home. up to now, i'm just moody. something that happened. thats why i'm in no mood to study for the history exam tomorrow.
speaking of the history exam, since i only need to be in school at 10.45am tomorrow. it means i can mug till late tonight. haha okay..
heard of spontaneous human combustion? haha. i'm... being sadistic
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
[love me again and again and again.]
that 3-day weekend probably felt like forever. or maybe not.
watched another 8 episodes of csi this weekend and it starts to freak me out when people start to get abused and worst, murdered. there was one particular episode where the teenage daughter killed her parents and her two brothers. basically the entire family except herself and her sister. lets see... why did she do it? thats because her dad molested and raped her when she was a child. mind you, she's a teenager now, probably 17 or 18. so she had a child at 13 and you can guess who the dad is. yeah her dad. and guess what? her mum knew about it but didnt do anything about it! so what happens? that teenage daughter's daughter was also assaulted by her dad. okay, so the teenage daughter's name is tina and her daughter (sister) is brenda. so tina told her bf to kill her entire family because she wanted to protect brenda. now... why did she kill her two brothers? because she said they failed to protect her then. tragic isn't it? there was one thing that shocked me, not only the police. it was something she said. she said this, in tears. 'i was 13. no one realised why my clothes were getting bigger and bigger'. seriously, it was a tragic story.
another episode was a story on the plane from atlanta to las vegas. first class. the sound of it from atlanta spooks me. but anyway, this guy kinda pissed everyone off on the plane and because he was suffering from some undiagnosed disease. something with the swelling of the head, he went out of his mind. he starting knocking on the cockpit door, but it didnt open so he went for the door. the door of the plane, also known as the exit and entrance. once its open, you'll see people flying out into the sky through that door. so the other 9 passengers were all freaking out. 5 went forward to pull him and trampled on him. their main purpose was to pin him to the floor so that he was stop putting everyone's life at risk. after all, being in that kinda situation, they were vulnerable. so step step step, and he died. all the other passengers refused to tell the true story, or rather what happened, except this almost blind man, with the degree of 20/200. he told them what he heard. lots of screams and suddenly silence. just silence. so silent you would hear a pin fall. after the csi found out who were the 5 people, guess what? they didnt arrest them. because they couldnt find enough evidence to charge them with murder. sense that injustice?
so finally that group of csi were debating if it was right to kill that man. nick, warrick and catherine said they would without thinking because their lives and catherine's daughter's life would be at risk. sarah said she wouldn't no matter what. and finally grissom said 'i can't answer that question of whether it was right or not but it could be prevented... if only one person had bothered to ask him if he was okay. it wouldn't have happened. it took 5 people to kill him, but it would only take that one person to prevent it from happening at all if someone just cared for him and made sure he was okay.' thats because everyone on the plane didnt know there was something wrong and everyone looked at him as a jerk.
so.... does it make a lot of sense? it only needed one particular person to save the guy and the rest of the people and their conscience but it took 5 times the number of people to kill that guy. why? because human beings only think about themselves? complacent? yeah that particular episode sure did opened my eyes wide enough. although it's fiction, it reflects a lot. but then again, what would you do if you were placed in that situation? you're in a first class plane with 9 other people and out of that 9, a guy starts going bersek and violent and attempts to open the door, killing everyone in that plane. what would you do?
haha thats a lot to talk about one particular tv programme.
they should be on their way back now... i think...
ss exam and chinese paper 1 tomorrow and then the rest after that. dont wanna think about the rest but yeah. i hope i get that job! haha maybe my chances of getting it is hmmmm.... 60%... its just a maybe? but i'm doing it out of interest. anyway study well! good luck! ciao
that 3-day weekend probably felt like forever. or maybe not.
watched another 8 episodes of csi this weekend and it starts to freak me out when people start to get abused and worst, murdered. there was one particular episode where the teenage daughter killed her parents and her two brothers. basically the entire family except herself and her sister. lets see... why did she do it? thats because her dad molested and raped her when she was a child. mind you, she's a teenager now, probably 17 or 18. so she had a child at 13 and you can guess who the dad is. yeah her dad. and guess what? her mum knew about it but didnt do anything about it! so what happens? that teenage daughter's daughter was also assaulted by her dad. okay, so the teenage daughter's name is tina and her daughter (sister) is brenda. so tina told her bf to kill her entire family because she wanted to protect brenda. now... why did she kill her two brothers? because she said they failed to protect her then. tragic isn't it? there was one thing that shocked me, not only the police. it was something she said. she said this, in tears. 'i was 13. no one realised why my clothes were getting bigger and bigger'. seriously, it was a tragic story.
another episode was a story on the plane from atlanta to las vegas. first class. the sound of it from atlanta spooks me. but anyway, this guy kinda pissed everyone off on the plane and because he was suffering from some undiagnosed disease. something with the swelling of the head, he went out of his mind. he starting knocking on the cockpit door, but it didnt open so he went for the door. the door of the plane, also known as the exit and entrance. once its open, you'll see people flying out into the sky through that door. so the other 9 passengers were all freaking out. 5 went forward to pull him and trampled on him. their main purpose was to pin him to the floor so that he was stop putting everyone's life at risk. after all, being in that kinda situation, they were vulnerable. so step step step, and he died. all the other passengers refused to tell the true story, or rather what happened, except this almost blind man, with the degree of 20/200. he told them what he heard. lots of screams and suddenly silence. just silence. so silent you would hear a pin fall. after the csi found out who were the 5 people, guess what? they didnt arrest them. because they couldnt find enough evidence to charge them with murder. sense that injustice?
so finally that group of csi were debating if it was right to kill that man. nick, warrick and catherine said they would without thinking because their lives and catherine's daughter's life would be at risk. sarah said she wouldn't no matter what. and finally grissom said 'i can't answer that question of whether it was right or not but it could be prevented... if only one person had bothered to ask him if he was okay. it wouldn't have happened. it took 5 people to kill him, but it would only take that one person to prevent it from happening at all if someone just cared for him and made sure he was okay.' thats because everyone on the plane didnt know there was something wrong and everyone looked at him as a jerk.
so.... does it make a lot of sense? it only needed one particular person to save the guy and the rest of the people and their conscience but it took 5 times the number of people to kill that guy. why? because human beings only think about themselves? complacent? yeah that particular episode sure did opened my eyes wide enough. although it's fiction, it reflects a lot. but then again, what would you do if you were placed in that situation? you're in a first class plane with 9 other people and out of that 9, a guy starts going bersek and violent and attempts to open the door, killing everyone in that plane. what would you do?
haha thats a lot to talk about one particular tv programme.
they should be on their way back now... i think...
ss exam and chinese paper 1 tomorrow and then the rest after that. dont wanna think about the rest but yeah. i hope i get that job! haha maybe my chances of getting it is hmmmm.... 60%... its just a maybe? but i'm doing it out of interest. anyway study well! good luck! ciao
Saturday, April 29, 2006
[they won =)]
watched 5 episodes of csi season 1 and i've come to realised so much more.
well in the 5th episode, this guy killed his friend when they were both under the influence of drugs and stuff. both of them were hallucinating and yeah he ended up suffocating his best friend and thus, killing him. quite sad though. and he was just so shocked to know and what he said was just kinda inspiring.. well, if human beings were selfless, i wonder what would happen.
i just heard the atlanta team won the champion alliance! haha very happy and relieved since i heard about the autonomous last night.
today is the 29th. the 29th of april. well, its nothing special, i just seem to think of it as a day of many events. maybe too much of csi just made me all whacked and my head starts to spin.
the whole final fantasy thing starts after i watched the 1000 words video. and i spread the video to amelia, gerri, matilda and mag. well, mag said the words didnt go with the mouth. gerri said the same. amelia said the graphics were superb, so did matilda. matilda said they had good expressions but their movements were too stiff. well, i only know that the computer graphics (cg) were good and yeah, they portrayed their emotions through their expressions really well.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=MKkzYlX-Owo&search=final%20fantasy%20X%201000%20words
feel like going on a shopping spree for games after the exams. haha, not as if i had the money but i feel so deprived now. haha
watched 5 episodes of csi season 1 and i've come to realised so much more.
well in the 5th episode, this guy killed his friend when they were both under the influence of drugs and stuff. both of them were hallucinating and yeah he ended up suffocating his best friend and thus, killing him. quite sad though. and he was just so shocked to know and what he said was just kinda inspiring.. well, if human beings were selfless, i wonder what would happen.
i just heard the atlanta team won the champion alliance! haha very happy and relieved since i heard about the autonomous last night.
today is the 29th. the 29th of april. well, its nothing special, i just seem to think of it as a day of many events. maybe too much of csi just made me all whacked and my head starts to spin.
the whole final fantasy thing starts after i watched the 1000 words video. and i spread the video to amelia, gerri, matilda and mag. well, mag said the words didnt go with the mouth. gerri said the same. amelia said the graphics were superb, so did matilda. matilda said they had good expressions but their movements were too stiff. well, i only know that the computer graphics (cg) were good and yeah, they portrayed their emotions through their expressions really well.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=MKkzYlX-Owo&search=final%20fantasy%20X%201000%20words
feel like going on a shopping spree for games after the exams. haha, not as if i had the money but i feel so deprived now. haha
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
[where are you now?]
yay! i'm talking to gina online now... they just got to atlanta. missed their flight to atlanta but joined dom and the rest on the second flight. lucky...
they're working on the robot now... and they have three days until the competition. hope they don't wear out before the game. its gonna be against 49 teams! a few times more difficult than it was in delaware. well, don't give up!
just got home from english exam. seriously, the compo titles were boring, so were the compre passages. the compre was all about history. hitler, then WWII.
had ice blended grape for the very first time today. still sipping from it. its sweet and nice.yiqi introduced it to me today after school.
talking to gina and shihui now... i miss them! ahhh... haha ah well
was just looking through some final fantasy stuff when i suddenly felt the urge to listen to the ffx theme. but i couldnt find it anywhere!!! maybe it was deleted even before i transferred it to this com... so yeah...
Final Fantasy - To Zanarkand
it's really nice. and gina's gone... sleeping... its like 12.50am there.... and they just got there an hour ago.
either my blog is too big or blogger seriously have some problems. i updated this blog yest, and the entry is still not published. well, this blog is 2 years old. well i'm sure xiaxue's blog is much older... right?
yay! i'm talking to gina online now... they just got to atlanta. missed their flight to atlanta but joined dom and the rest on the second flight. lucky...
they're working on the robot now... and they have three days until the competition. hope they don't wear out before the game. its gonna be against 49 teams! a few times more difficult than it was in delaware. well, don't give up!
just got home from english exam. seriously, the compo titles were boring, so were the compre passages. the compre was all about history. hitler, then WWII.
had ice blended grape for the very first time today. still sipping from it. its sweet and nice.yiqi introduced it to me today after school.
talking to gina and shihui now... i miss them! ahhh... haha ah well
was just looking through some final fantasy stuff when i suddenly felt the urge to listen to the ffx theme. but i couldnt find it anywhere!!! maybe it was deleted even before i transferred it to this com... so yeah...
Final Fantasy - To Zanarkand
it's really nice. and gina's gone... sleeping... its like 12.50am there.... and they just got there an hour ago.
either my blog is too big or blogger seriously have some problems. i updated this blog yest, and the entry is still not published. well, this blog is 2 years old. well i'm sure xiaxue's blog is much older... right?
Monday, April 24, 2006
[unwritten]
if you have been to mag's blog, you probably think it was pikachu. that is, if you read her tagboard. haha i think, THINK, i know who it is. HAHA its quite hilarious though...
they left this morning. and i didnt answer the call!!!! i was just demoralised for the entire day. seriously... i was so darn sad today i seemed so unusual. dom called at 2am yest and gina joined in the conversation like an hour later. then they made me go to bed. so i said i would sleep for like an hour but waddya know? even with three alarms (including gina's call) i was still unable to open my eyes and answer the phone. i didnt even hear it! damn. so i awoke at 6.50am and was just so pissed with myself and was just damn damn damn sad. demoralised for the ENTIRE day. really wanted to puch myself man!
since the flight was around 6.30am this morning, i guess they reached tokyo at about 2.30pm or so unless they couldnt find the gate and delayed everyone. if the flight was not delayed this time for like 8 hours, they would be in america in 11-12 hours. so that means they're definitely still on their way to america from japan, but are almost there. couple of hours to go. they would be in america by 2-3am then the flight from wherever they're arriving from japan to atlanta, maybe an hour, 2 hours at most? and they will finally arrive in atlanta at 5-6am. well, it takes about a day to get there. so gina must must must sms me when she gets there... she said she would... but she'll probably be too tired... since they'll be there at 5-6am (sgt) it would be 4-5pm at atlanta. haha i'm so glad my phone has that special clock with practically every country's time and stuff so yeah... but i dont think i'll be able to see them online that often.... they would be, when i'm in school at 12pm. sheesh. dont know if gina will email me a few hours after she's there. ah well, dont blame her if she cant.
how was my day? other than it being demoralising, it was just as boring without anything else going on. hmmmmm, i played warcraft today? yeah i did and its the best method to forget everything else, especially everything that just troubles me. i hope i'm not immune to it soon.
ever since that exam thing that happened, i have been trying so hard to keep her outta my sight. because as long as she knows my presence, there's more to say and they're probably untrue for all i care. sheesh. can you imagine? i have another year before i graduate.... why do i seem so eager to graduate???? oh my gosh...
english exam tomorrow and wish me all the best. just hope i make it through. since i'm weird, i will write weird stuff and thus, weird grades. haha okay no such things as weird grades, but yeah hope i don't write anything weird.
ah well shall go sleep now bye! and all the best for the exams!
if you have been to mag's blog, you probably think it was pikachu. that is, if you read her tagboard. haha i think, THINK, i know who it is. HAHA its quite hilarious though...
they left this morning. and i didnt answer the call!!!! i was just demoralised for the entire day. seriously... i was so darn sad today i seemed so unusual. dom called at 2am yest and gina joined in the conversation like an hour later. then they made me go to bed. so i said i would sleep for like an hour but waddya know? even with three alarms (including gina's call) i was still unable to open my eyes and answer the phone. i didnt even hear it! damn. so i awoke at 6.50am and was just so pissed with myself and was just damn damn damn sad. demoralised for the ENTIRE day. really wanted to puch myself man!
since the flight was around 6.30am this morning, i guess they reached tokyo at about 2.30pm or so unless they couldnt find the gate and delayed everyone. if the flight was not delayed this time for like 8 hours, they would be in america in 11-12 hours. so that means they're definitely still on their way to america from japan, but are almost there. couple of hours to go. they would be in america by 2-3am then the flight from wherever they're arriving from japan to atlanta, maybe an hour, 2 hours at most? and they will finally arrive in atlanta at 5-6am. well, it takes about a day to get there. so gina must must must sms me when she gets there... she said she would... but she'll probably be too tired... since they'll be there at 5-6am (sgt) it would be 4-5pm at atlanta. haha i'm so glad my phone has that special clock with practically every country's time and stuff so yeah... but i dont think i'll be able to see them online that often.... they would be, when i'm in school at 12pm. sheesh. dont know if gina will email me a few hours after she's there. ah well, dont blame her if she cant.
how was my day? other than it being demoralising, it was just as boring without anything else going on. hmmmmm, i played warcraft today? yeah i did and its the best method to forget everything else, especially everything that just troubles me. i hope i'm not immune to it soon.
ever since that exam thing that happened, i have been trying so hard to keep her outta my sight. because as long as she knows my presence, there's more to say and they're probably untrue for all i care. sheesh. can you imagine? i have another year before i graduate.... why do i seem so eager to graduate???? oh my gosh...
english exam tomorrow and wish me all the best. just hope i make it through. since i'm weird, i will write weird stuff and thus, weird grades. haha okay no such things as weird grades, but yeah hope i don't write anything weird.
ah well shall go sleep now bye! and all the best for the exams!
[atlanta.]
the smart team is gonna fly off in a few hours! ahhh gonna miss them. and hope they do well there, but more importantly, they have lots of fun and have a safe trip. gina, dom ans shihui are... sick! well, i hope the rest arent... but yeah.
although i'm not flying this time, but it was a lot of fun fooling around with the other three, namely dom, tx and en chou. on sat night, they (the three of them) had a war in the it lab. throwing those racquet balls at each other. bleagh. see what happens when you work late at night and you lose your sanity? haha joking.... but yeah that was that. haha. it was fun working with them though.
after spending an hour on the class blog, it was finally up and operational. so yeah, go to the 3/8 blog if you can... yeah and read the stuff mostly zong and i post. whee
ahhh so late liao but i dare not sleep. because i dont wanna miss it when the call comes at 5am. yes, around 5am. its quite saddening... i wanna go see them off, so i made gina call me at 5am later. i'm supposed to be sleeping so when she calls, i ANSWER the call. but i'm just afraid i wont even get to answer the call. then i'll be damn damn damn sad. but she said she'll sms me when she gets there. haha how thoughtful... i want an email everyday too! haha joking... but yeah... i want an email too!
argh.... i'm gonna miss them like hell after they leave. haha it's gonna be boring for the next ten days, and with the exams, life cannot get anymore boring. well, hope i survive the next 10 days! haha
ah well, shall stop here then... good night and bye!
the smart team is gonna fly off in a few hours! ahhh gonna miss them. and hope they do well there, but more importantly, they have lots of fun and have a safe trip. gina, dom ans shihui are... sick! well, i hope the rest arent... but yeah.
although i'm not flying this time, but it was a lot of fun fooling around with the other three, namely dom, tx and en chou. on sat night, they (the three of them) had a war in the it lab. throwing those racquet balls at each other. bleagh. see what happens when you work late at night and you lose your sanity? haha joking.... but yeah that was that. haha. it was fun working with them though.
after spending an hour on the class blog, it was finally up and operational. so yeah, go to the 3/8 blog if you can... yeah and read the stuff mostly zong and i post. whee
ahhh so late liao but i dare not sleep. because i dont wanna miss it when the call comes at 5am. yes, around 5am. its quite saddening... i wanna go see them off, so i made gina call me at 5am later. i'm supposed to be sleeping so when she calls, i ANSWER the call. but i'm just afraid i wont even get to answer the call. then i'll be damn damn damn sad. but she said she'll sms me when she gets there. haha how thoughtful... i want an email everyday too! haha joking... but yeah... i want an email too!
argh.... i'm gonna miss them like hell after they leave. haha it's gonna be boring for the next ten days, and with the exams, life cannot get anymore boring. well, hope i survive the next 10 days! haha
ah well, shall stop here then... good night and bye!
Thursday, April 20, 2006
[apology]
pe was hell today, although it could be considered as one of the slackiest lessons. because i was sick and just didnt ask her for a scale down, woah! 2 more rounds. haha. probably due to my lack of sleep and my recent flu, it has been quite terrible.
do i really seem that petty? haha i dont know. i seriously dont know how others deem me as they do. i get funny thoughts in my head about how annoying i can actualle be. but as you can see, i try not to care.
----------------------
sometimes, its even worse apologizing not knowing what you did in the first place. well i don't know. i just find it hard to comprehend what 'you' said. why it probably took 'you' so long, as long as a few years to realise it, or 'you' didnt know 'you' were at least a yr late? i'm just starting to wonder if you meant what 'you' said. but i'm trying not to ponder.
i'm quite sick and tired of whatever that has been happening. for some reason, i'm just stressed. it's sudden. it's probably due to what has been happening lately and all. sigh. i've lost the motivation for almost anything. and its when i need it the most. gee.
and here comes the angelin part. haha. since she was telling me she hoped to read something about her here... okay.. angie, shes loves hugs. at the start of the school year, i would always expect a 'briana-jie-jie, can i have a hug?' from angelin, and yes, i would give her a hug. although she wants a hug from gerri everyday too, gerri just refuses to give it to her haha. until there was once when angelin made gerri owe her a hug for a piece of graph paper. haha. gerri never returned that hug to her for at least a week, until she finally did, no idea why but yeah, anie is kinda cute when she's like that, gives you the idea of a kid, who just likes to hug people. haha i hope that's long enough :)
pe was hell today, although it could be considered as one of the slackiest lessons. because i was sick and just didnt ask her for a scale down, woah! 2 more rounds. haha. probably due to my lack of sleep and my recent flu, it has been quite terrible.
do i really seem that petty? haha i dont know. i seriously dont know how others deem me as they do. i get funny thoughts in my head about how annoying i can actualle be. but as you can see, i try not to care.
----------------------
sometimes, its even worse apologizing not knowing what you did in the first place. well i don't know. i just find it hard to comprehend what 'you' said. why it probably took 'you' so long, as long as a few years to realise it, or 'you' didnt know 'you' were at least a yr late? i'm just starting to wonder if you meant what 'you' said. but i'm trying not to ponder.
i'm quite sick and tired of whatever that has been happening. for some reason, i'm just stressed. it's sudden. it's probably due to what has been happening lately and all. sigh. i've lost the motivation for almost anything. and its when i need it the most. gee.
and here comes the angelin part. haha. since she was telling me she hoped to read something about her here... okay.. angie, shes loves hugs. at the start of the school year, i would always expect a 'briana-jie-jie, can i have a hug?' from angelin, and yes, i would give her a hug. although she wants a hug from gerri everyday too, gerri just refuses to give it to her haha. until there was once when angelin made gerri owe her a hug for a piece of graph paper. haha. gerri never returned that hug to her for at least a week, until she finally did, no idea why but yeah, anie is kinda cute when she's like that, gives you the idea of a kid, who just likes to hug people. haha i hope that's long enough :)
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
[disappointed. knocked out]
i've finally cooled down after what happened. well, maybe i have. but it's just rude thinking about it.
exams next week. and they're flying off next week too. all of us will need all the luck we can have yeah?
a bit stuck now. either i've forgotten how it was like or i'm just emotionless. i dont even know what the heck is wrong with me. if you want to know how i fee now, i can't really be too sure. it's just confusing trying to explain.
this is definitely something worth not resting in peace if i ever died. its so incomplete and in fragments. so am i. thats why i cant piece myself together now, and be myself once again. has what they said really affected me that much? i wonder... i'm not that sure if i really managed to absorb whatever that happened lately. yeah... maybe i'm not even sure what happened. but just living each day. without a purpose. i feel tired all of a sudden.
i want to sleep. i want to sleep so badly. i miss that feeling of not bothering about anything but just living in my dreams.
runaway this time without you
---------------------------
Straightjacket Feeling - The All-American Rejects
Back me down from backing up
Hold your breath now it's stacking up
Etched with marks, but I can deal
And you're the problem and you can't feel
Try this on, straightjacket feeling
so maybe I won't be alone
Take back now, my life you're stealing
Yesterday was hell
But today I'm fine without you
Run away this time without you
And all I ever thought you'd be
That face is tearing holes in me again
Trust you is just one defense
off a list of others, you don't make sense
Beg me time and time again
to take you back now, but you can't win
Take back now, my life you're stealing
Yesterday was hell
But today I'm fine without you
Run away this time without you
And all I ever thought you'd be
That face is tearing holes in me
but today I'm fine without you
Run away this time without you
And all the things you put me through
I'm holding on by letting go of you
And when that memory slips away
There'll be a better view from here
And only lonesome you remains
and just the thought of you I fear
it falls away
Yesterday was hell
But today I'm fine without you
Run away this time without you
And all I ever thought you'd be
That face is tearing holes in me
but today I'm fine without you
Run away this time without you
And all the things you put me through
I'm holding on by letting go of you
i've finally cooled down after what happened. well, maybe i have. but it's just rude thinking about it.
exams next week. and they're flying off next week too. all of us will need all the luck we can have yeah?
a bit stuck now. either i've forgotten how it was like or i'm just emotionless. i dont even know what the heck is wrong with me. if you want to know how i fee now, i can't really be too sure. it's just confusing trying to explain.
this is definitely something worth not resting in peace if i ever died. its so incomplete and in fragments. so am i. thats why i cant piece myself together now, and be myself once again. has what they said really affected me that much? i wonder... i'm not that sure if i really managed to absorb whatever that happened lately. yeah... maybe i'm not even sure what happened. but just living each day. without a purpose. i feel tired all of a sudden.
i want to sleep. i want to sleep so badly. i miss that feeling of not bothering about anything but just living in my dreams.
runaway this time without you
---------------------------
Straightjacket Feeling - The All-American Rejects
Back me down from backing up
Hold your breath now it's stacking up
Etched with marks, but I can deal
And you're the problem and you can't feel
Try this on, straightjacket feeling
so maybe I won't be alone
Take back now, my life you're stealing
Yesterday was hell
But today I'm fine without you
Run away this time without you
And all I ever thought you'd be
That face is tearing holes in me again
Trust you is just one defense
off a list of others, you don't make sense
Beg me time and time again
to take you back now, but you can't win
Take back now, my life you're stealing
Yesterday was hell
But today I'm fine without you
Run away this time without you
And all I ever thought you'd be
That face is tearing holes in me
but today I'm fine without you
Run away this time without you
And all the things you put me through
I'm holding on by letting go of you
And when that memory slips away
There'll be a better view from here
And only lonesome you remains
and just the thought of you I fear
it falls away
Yesterday was hell
But today I'm fine without you
Run away this time without you
And all I ever thought you'd be
That face is tearing holes in me
but today I'm fine without you
Run away this time without you
And all the things you put me through
I'm holding on by letting go of you
Saturday, April 15, 2006
[falling faster]
i'm angry. annoyed.
SHE has no right to say i don't care about my exams, neither does SHE have the right to say i don't study. may i know where have i gone wrong now? is it wrong for me to not be pissed off? do i not have the right to be pissed off? its not as if i want to care. i also want to not care about it. but it's just too far.
wtf
wtf
wtf
wtf
wtf
wtf
wtf
ARGH. IT'S NOT AS IF YOU HAVE ANY SAY IN IT. JELOUSY OR NOT, IT'S JUST WRONG. I'VE BEEN SO MAD FOR TWO DAYS.
yes this has pissed me off so badly for two freaking days. SHE has an attitude we don't like. i dont think she'll get insensitivity, when she says we're being insensitive.
come to think of it, i definitely have endured for too long.
i'm angry. annoyed.
SHE has no right to say i don't care about my exams, neither does SHE have the right to say i don't study. may i know where have i gone wrong now? is it wrong for me to not be pissed off? do i not have the right to be pissed off? its not as if i want to care. i also want to not care about it. but it's just too far.
wtf
wtf
wtf
wtf
wtf
wtf
wtf
ARGH. IT'S NOT AS IF YOU HAVE ANY SAY IN IT. JELOUSY OR NOT, IT'S JUST WRONG. I'VE BEEN SO MAD FOR TWO DAYS.
yes this has pissed me off so badly for two freaking days. SHE has an attitude we don't like. i dont think she'll get insensitivity, when she says we're being insensitive.
come to think of it, i definitely have endured for too long.
Friday, April 14, 2006
[i don't know what i can for you]
its good friday! actually, it's 1.10am now.... bleagh just watched memoirs of a geisha, again. yeah i think this is either the second or third time watching it.
bleagh.
ss is just weird. the week before, he said it was a ss quiz, then on the day itself, it's groupwork and now homework. bleagh?
i'll try to go back to who i was before. so that i dont have to go through so much now. its tiring to keep reminding myself to forget.
i was just so upset and stressed in the afternoon. but i guess after watching a few bleach episodes and crapping with a few people online, i felt much better. but i dont see the point in doing so of course. its not helping me... well it did help make me feel better. was just stressed up for no good reason. sheesh.
2.4km run tomorrow. or the day after. well, just saturday. gonna die. just hope i have the motivation on saturday to keep running and not think about it, because thinking about running when you're running is a bad idea. you'll start to get tired, and might even feel athat you cant do it. i have to find something to be on my mind when i'm running.
i thought of playing a little warcraft, but i think i'll pass tonight. shall go sleep. was intending to sleep this afternoon since i've been staying up late each night. but was too stressed to even sleep, so i'll go sleep now. thats after i blog of course.
in addition to the stress this afternoon, it was a guilty afternoon, since something went missing and savina's feeling guilty too. well, its not exactly her fault because shes been cooped up with a lot, and i mean a lot, of work. i kinda feel guilty because i havent been doing as much as her and i cant contribute in any way. i just always have this sense of insecurity, just feel as though i havent done enough to help anyone.
did anyone else know about this nightmare i had two nights ago? it was about my brother and i running from this bunch of zombies. well, we were trying to escape the zombies in the building. so had to take the lift down then the entrance. and you should know how lifts can be freaky, especially if you watch lots of those horror movies where these group of people, trying to escape the building infested with weird things, they take the lift and when the doors open on the ground floor, you see more of those freaky things. well, it happened and i was scared to death. so when we 'escaped' the building, there were even more outside! OUT IN THE SUN! oh gee, so i awoke that instant and the clock was 2.20am. i was just afraid of going back to sleep, in case i had the same dream again.
why i started talking about my nightmare was because i suddenly had a nightmare after the series of weird and whacked dreams. and trust me, none of them didnt turn out right. it was so twisted and not pleasant. i was either running from i dont know what or just going around do something i dont even know what. and then came that zombie nightmare. sheesh. i hope i'll have a peaceful night and for once in a million years, sweet dreams. haha.
there is not a single person online, besides one american friend. well, there are people online, but not online online. some away, some busy. i'm the only freak online lar. aiyah, very bored and a little lonely. no one to talk to. boohoo. haha okay lar, i'll go sleep. good night.
-------------------------
Stab My Back - The All-American Rejects
Now we're broken on the floor
She just wants me to share her
It hasn't been this way before
She just wants me to dare her
The phone rings
And she screams
Stab my back
It's better when I bleed for you
Walk on me
It never was enough to do
I can't get past her
Falling fast
It's true
It hasn't done a lot for you
And every time he held you close
Yeah, were you thinking of me
When I needed you the most
Well I hope that you're happy
The phone rings
And she screams
Stab my back
It's better when I bleed for you
Walk on me
It never was enough to do
I can't get past her
Falling fast
It's true
It's better when I bleed for you
I hope that love he gave you
Was just enough to save you
You nearly broke my heart
Just look at what you're tearing apart
Stab my back
It's better when I bleed for you
Walk on me
It never was enough to do
I can't get past her
Falling fast
It's true
It hasn't done a lot for you
It's better when I bleed for you
It never was enough to do
It hasn't done a lot for you
its good friday! actually, it's 1.10am now.... bleagh just watched memoirs of a geisha, again. yeah i think this is either the second or third time watching it.
bleagh.
ss is just weird. the week before, he said it was a ss quiz, then on the day itself, it's groupwork and now homework. bleagh?
i'll try to go back to who i was before. so that i dont have to go through so much now. its tiring to keep reminding myself to forget.
i was just so upset and stressed in the afternoon. but i guess after watching a few bleach episodes and crapping with a few people online, i felt much better. but i dont see the point in doing so of course. its not helping me... well it did help make me feel better. was just stressed up for no good reason. sheesh.
2.4km run tomorrow. or the day after. well, just saturday. gonna die. just hope i have the motivation on saturday to keep running and not think about it, because thinking about running when you're running is a bad idea. you'll start to get tired, and might even feel athat you cant do it. i have to find something to be on my mind when i'm running.
i thought of playing a little warcraft, but i think i'll pass tonight. shall go sleep. was intending to sleep this afternoon since i've been staying up late each night. but was too stressed to even sleep, so i'll go sleep now. thats after i blog of course.
in addition to the stress this afternoon, it was a guilty afternoon, since something went missing and savina's feeling guilty too. well, its not exactly her fault because shes been cooped up with a lot, and i mean a lot, of work. i kinda feel guilty because i havent been doing as much as her and i cant contribute in any way. i just always have this sense of insecurity, just feel as though i havent done enough to help anyone.
did anyone else know about this nightmare i had two nights ago? it was about my brother and i running from this bunch of zombies. well, we were trying to escape the zombies in the building. so had to take the lift down then the entrance. and you should know how lifts can be freaky, especially if you watch lots of those horror movies where these group of people, trying to escape the building infested with weird things, they take the lift and when the doors open on the ground floor, you see more of those freaky things. well, it happened and i was scared to death. so when we 'escaped' the building, there were even more outside! OUT IN THE SUN! oh gee, so i awoke that instant and the clock was 2.20am. i was just afraid of going back to sleep, in case i had the same dream again.
why i started talking about my nightmare was because i suddenly had a nightmare after the series of weird and whacked dreams. and trust me, none of them didnt turn out right. it was so twisted and not pleasant. i was either running from i dont know what or just going around do something i dont even know what. and then came that zombie nightmare. sheesh. i hope i'll have a peaceful night and for once in a million years, sweet dreams. haha.
there is not a single person online, besides one american friend. well, there are people online, but not online online. some away, some busy. i'm the only freak online lar. aiyah, very bored and a little lonely. no one to talk to. boohoo. haha okay lar, i'll go sleep. good night.
-------------------------
Stab My Back - The All-American Rejects
Now we're broken on the floor
She just wants me to share her
It hasn't been this way before
She just wants me to dare her
The phone rings
And she screams
Stab my back
It's better when I bleed for you
Walk on me
It never was enough to do
I can't get past her
Falling fast
It's true
It hasn't done a lot for you
And every time he held you close
Yeah, were you thinking of me
When I needed you the most
Well I hope that you're happy
The phone rings
And she screams
Stab my back
It's better when I bleed for you
Walk on me
It never was enough to do
I can't get past her
Falling fast
It's true
It's better when I bleed for you
I hope that love he gave you
Was just enough to save you
You nearly broke my heart
Just look at what you're tearing apart
Stab my back
It's better when I bleed for you
Walk on me
It never was enough to do
I can't get past her
Falling fast
It's true
It hasn't done a lot for you
It's better when I bleed for you
It never was enough to do
It hasn't done a lot for you
Monday, April 10, 2006
[my anata]
back here again after more than a week. i was just either too busy or too lazy to blog. i think more like lazy, than busy. and i feel weird blogging once again.
sick today. down with gerri's flu. haha headache and tired. then runny nose and cough. pain in chest and stomachache. ugh.
savie and i went for the vid editing session today. it was kinda fun but we werent taught anything. it was kinda fun because georgina, khym and ena were playing with the photo booth which was totally hilarious with the effects and all. then savie was getting all fed up with the titles and transitions which was really funny. haha. savie is feeling angry today... awww... actually not... she didnt seem so mad actually. we're finally done witht he video. after sitting there tugging our hair for three hours.
well the two experts from temasek poly didnt really know what they were doing... they taught us to capture the video and then when we asked them how to do certain stuff like delete the subtitles and change the position of the scrolling credits. well, because we were using the apple mac, it took us some time to adapt to it. it's not windows! neither is it adobe premiere. bleagh, just more familiar with adobe premiere. but apple computers are so damn nice and white. and cool too, but not so user-friendly. i still prefer to use windows though, but i dont mind using an apple computer with the windows software. btw, one of the experts was playing music from her BLACK ipod NANO. can you sense that prick of jealousy? fine, its an ipod nano, but it got all worse when i knew it was BLACK. oh gee. but yeah i dont think they really knew a lot about the software. but heck, we finished the video.
the ij band concert last friday was okay. gerri and i were kinda pissed because some stuff happened. we were almost late, so we had to sit RIGHT at the back and the people in front were tall and were constantly moving their big heads here and there. not to mention the murmuring in the back, ugh. then after the band concert, it was a little bad. i still feel bad about it although matilda kinda stressed it isnt my fault and all. i still think it is anyway. witnessed lots of scandalous stuff going on on friday night. haha i was so punkish that night that i looked so out with them. even matilda looked nice. she was wearing this nice top with a skirt. since she's slim, she looked very nice, and taller too. stef looked nice too, although she was still wearing that denim skirt again. mag looked nice too, wearing heels and a nice skirt. liz was in a tshirt and a pair of jeans, casual but cool. gerri was wearing this pair of nice mango pants with a pink tshirt and a nice brown mango jacket. haha me? jeans, tactics shoes, black polo shirt with the hood i bought in ny over, hoop earrings, two ponytails and the usual crumpler. i'm the thorn in the bed of roses (gerri, mag, liz, matlda, stef)
no chinese today, since weng lao shi didnt come. slacked for two whole periods. and was just spending the entire two periods chatting with jess, tessa and val. about the band concert and a little campus superstar. then amanda comes over with her homework journal asking us for names. she wants to collect a 1000 names. haha it was kinda fun thinking of names to add to her collection.
it was a lousy week last week. so much happened and i found myself so irritated and stressed to tears almost everyday. and i was so tired at the end of the day. sigh. difficult week it has been...
i hope this post kinda brings this blog back to life again. it has been hibernating for like a week and the black and white bg is probably making it seem even more dead.
sheesh, trying to catch up now, with stuff that has been happening. i wished i was hibernating just like my blog. gee... thinking about how rough my week had been is demoralising. sigh.
---------------------
Quickie:
Sometimes it's tough to really figure out what needs to be done. Give yourself time.
Overview:
Say yes to any and all invitations -- the more colorful and outre, the better. The stars promise that a lost opportunity may reappear when you least expect it -- but you have to be out there to see it.
how much time will i actually need? i think it would be much better if i get it done and over with so i dont have to worry about it all the time.
Daily Teen:
Perfect symphonies require coordination, practice and attention to detail. You've got the fact-finding, problem-sniffing, big vision to make it all happen just right. So cue the music and lights, maestro.
erm. okay.
---------------------
Where'd You Go - Fort Minor
Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you've been gone
She said somedays I feel like shit
Somedays I wanna quit and just be normal for a bit
I don't understand why you have to always be gone
I get along but your trips always feel so long
And I find myself trying to stay by the phone
Because your voice always helps me to not feel so alone
But I feel like an idiot, working my day around a call
And when I pick up I don't have much to say, so
I want you to know it's a little fucked up that
I'm stuck here waiting, at times debating
Telling you that I've had it with you and your career
Me and the rest of the family here singing
Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever that you've been gone
Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever that you've been gone
Please
Come back home
You know, the place where you used to live
Used to barbeque with burgers and ribs
Used to have a little party every halloween
with candy by the pile but now
you only stop by every once in a while
Shit
I find myself just filling my time
With anything to keep the thought of you from my mind
I'm doing fine and I plan to keep it that way
You can call me if you find that you have something to say
And I'll tell you
I want you to know it's a little fucked up that
I'm stuck here waiting, at times debating
Telling you that I've had it with you and your career
Me and the rest of the family here singing
Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you've been gone
Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you've been gone
Please Come back home
I want you to know it's a little fucked up that
I'm stuck here waiting, no longer debating
Tired of sitting and hating and making these excuses
For why you're not around, and feeling sorta useless
It seems that one thing has been true all along
You don't really know what you've got till its gone
I guess I've had it with you and your career
When you come back I won't be here and you can say
Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever that you've been gone
Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you've been gone
Please Come back home
Please Come back home
Please Come back home
Please Come back home
Please Come back home
back here again after more than a week. i was just either too busy or too lazy to blog. i think more like lazy, than busy. and i feel weird blogging once again.
sick today. down with gerri's flu. haha headache and tired. then runny nose and cough. pain in chest and stomachache. ugh.
savie and i went for the vid editing session today. it was kinda fun but we werent taught anything. it was kinda fun because georgina, khym and ena were playing with the photo booth which was totally hilarious with the effects and all. then savie was getting all fed up with the titles and transitions which was really funny. haha. savie is feeling angry today... awww... actually not... she didnt seem so mad actually. we're finally done witht he video. after sitting there tugging our hair for three hours.
well the two experts from temasek poly didnt really know what they were doing... they taught us to capture the video and then when we asked them how to do certain stuff like delete the subtitles and change the position of the scrolling credits. well, because we were using the apple mac, it took us some time to adapt to it. it's not windows! neither is it adobe premiere. bleagh, just more familiar with adobe premiere. but apple computers are so damn nice and white. and cool too, but not so user-friendly. i still prefer to use windows though, but i dont mind using an apple computer with the windows software. btw, one of the experts was playing music from her BLACK ipod NANO. can you sense that prick of jealousy? fine, its an ipod nano, but it got all worse when i knew it was BLACK. oh gee. but yeah i dont think they really knew a lot about the software. but heck, we finished the video.
the ij band concert last friday was okay. gerri and i were kinda pissed because some stuff happened. we were almost late, so we had to sit RIGHT at the back and the people in front were tall and were constantly moving their big heads here and there. not to mention the murmuring in the back, ugh. then after the band concert, it was a little bad. i still feel bad about it although matilda kinda stressed it isnt my fault and all. i still think it is anyway. witnessed lots of scandalous stuff going on on friday night. haha i was so punkish that night that i looked so out with them. even matilda looked nice. she was wearing this nice top with a skirt. since she's slim, she looked very nice, and taller too. stef looked nice too, although she was still wearing that denim skirt again. mag looked nice too, wearing heels and a nice skirt. liz was in a tshirt and a pair of jeans, casual but cool. gerri was wearing this pair of nice mango pants with a pink tshirt and a nice brown mango jacket. haha me? jeans, tactics shoes, black polo shirt with the hood i bought in ny over, hoop earrings, two ponytails and the usual crumpler. i'm the thorn in the bed of roses (gerri, mag, liz, matlda, stef)
no chinese today, since weng lao shi didnt come. slacked for two whole periods. and was just spending the entire two periods chatting with jess, tessa and val. about the band concert and a little campus superstar. then amanda comes over with her homework journal asking us for names. she wants to collect a 1000 names. haha it was kinda fun thinking of names to add to her collection.
it was a lousy week last week. so much happened and i found myself so irritated and stressed to tears almost everyday. and i was so tired at the end of the day. sigh. difficult week it has been...
i hope this post kinda brings this blog back to life again. it has been hibernating for like a week and the black and white bg is probably making it seem even more dead.
sheesh, trying to catch up now, with stuff that has been happening. i wished i was hibernating just like my blog. gee... thinking about how rough my week had been is demoralising. sigh.
---------------------
Quickie:
Sometimes it's tough to really figure out what needs to be done. Give yourself time.
Overview:
Say yes to any and all invitations -- the more colorful and outre, the better. The stars promise that a lost opportunity may reappear when you least expect it -- but you have to be out there to see it.
how much time will i actually need? i think it would be much better if i get it done and over with so i dont have to worry about it all the time.
Daily Teen:
Perfect symphonies require coordination, practice and attention to detail. You've got the fact-finding, problem-sniffing, big vision to make it all happen just right. So cue the music and lights, maestro.
erm. okay.
---------------------
Where'd You Go - Fort Minor
Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you've been gone
She said somedays I feel like shit
Somedays I wanna quit and just be normal for a bit
I don't understand why you have to always be gone
I get along but your trips always feel so long
And I find myself trying to stay by the phone
Because your voice always helps me to not feel so alone
But I feel like an idiot, working my day around a call
And when I pick up I don't have much to say, so
I want you to know it's a little fucked up that
I'm stuck here waiting, at times debating
Telling you that I've had it with you and your career
Me and the rest of the family here singing
Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever that you've been gone
Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever that you've been gone
Please
Come back home
You know, the place where you used to live
Used to barbeque with burgers and ribs
Used to have a little party every halloween
with candy by the pile but now
you only stop by every once in a while
Shit
I find myself just filling my time
With anything to keep the thought of you from my mind
I'm doing fine and I plan to keep it that way
You can call me if you find that you have something to say
And I'll tell you
I want you to know it's a little fucked up that
I'm stuck here waiting, at times debating
Telling you that I've had it with you and your career
Me and the rest of the family here singing
Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you've been gone
Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you've been gone
Please Come back home
I want you to know it's a little fucked up that
I'm stuck here waiting, no longer debating
Tired of sitting and hating and making these excuses
For why you're not around, and feeling sorta useless
It seems that one thing has been true all along
You don't really know what you've got till its gone
I guess I've had it with you and your career
When you come back I won't be here and you can say
Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever that you've been gone
Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you've been gone
Please Come back home
Please Come back home
Please Come back home
Please Come back home
Please Come back home