[i'll make every second count.]

many photos and videos to upload.

i'll start off with wednesday. we had our very first bowling meeting! joanna's the captain, christopher the vice and kleff's the secretary. congrats guys... and girl :) yup. we all had "training" actually it's more like a fun game that cost 12 bucks! omg. haha. played one more game and took even more photos. i hurt my hand when i tried playing with the ball 10 for one game.















wenhui, steph















lijuan, edward, cynthia















lijuan, wenhui















edward, cynthia















edward, lijuan, cynthia















edward, wenhui















steph, lijuan















wenhui, steph, edward


lijuan, steph, edward















tedric, lijuan, steph















jon, mok, lijuan, wenhui















joanna, lijuan, wenhui















wenhui, me, jon, mok. jon's my-eyes-are-closed-90%-of-the-time-in-photos syndrome















wenhui, me, jon. now you see him. haha right.















jon. haha?















mok, wenhui. a miracle, mok took a photo















steph, me
after that, we had dinner at kfc. lol mok bought the shrooms burger (i think) and well, it was puny and he was complaining. he said he could finish it in 4 bites, turned out he finished it in 3! this is the proof!



1S24 outing. it was sentosa at first, then movie at vivocity! we watched iron man and it was damn good, damn cool. the visuals rock man.

at sentosa, since it was zixiang's bday, they tried to throw zixiang into the sea, almost made it haha.



zixiang: why are you filming me?!















marcus















zixiang






























erm haha. zixiang and matthew















max, michelle















marissa











































jacqueline, weitong, michelle, matthew















jacqueline, michelle

marcus

aaron















matthew




























































































































































got most of the photos off max's blog

more photos on sarah's bday have also been uploaded on http://aaron-neo2.blogspot.com/ which is aaron's blog

haha i'm too lazy and sleepy to upload all the photos here

today, sr musical! it was pretty good. met up with max, tak kin, maxy, marcus, zixiang, jinting, li an, xueer, bernice, jasmine, michelle, jacqueline and weitong before heading to republic poly

only person i took a photo with was li an. tak kin and max didnt want to take with me :(





























after that, met up with jon, jerome, steph, zenda, lijuan and wenhui for dinner. we had dinner at pastamania and caught a movie after that. we watched Dance of the Dragon. it was a rather boring.. yeah acting was good, but the movie was like a bit dead lar... good storyline, and good acting, just that it was boring overall. and it was a terribly sad movie.

after the movie, wenhui, lijuan, steph and i were like switching our shoes around haha... cause wenhui's feet were dying! and she wanted my shoes... so i lent them to her... i wore steph's and lijuan wore her extra pair of shoes... after walking for 10 metres, we switched back... cause lol i was dying in steph's shoes lol.
















went to starbucks to celebrate lijuan's bday with a slice of cake and gave her our hand made present... she liked it and most credit goes to zenda cause she designed the present and did most of the work haha.


zenda forcing the cake on lijuan haha.

here are pics of some of the pages i took from lijuan's present







































































i'm gonna stay home and finish most of my work haha.

and my mum bought new mattresses! so i wanna go sleep! lol good night! out.

[think not.]

i was wondering if i made the wrong decision... but i guess not.

he seems so much happier with his friends...like after the break up, i guess he's much more free and cheerful with his friends. instead of being gloomy with me most of the time.

i called him at 12am earlier, when i was walking home. yes i'm going home at 12am. kinda missed him, so i called... he was with his friends and i felt it was awkward if spoke to him when he's with his friends, like anti social. so i said bye and stuff... but didnt hang up.. i listened to his background, it was full of laughter and jokes as they were queuing outside dbl o (a club)... he didnt hang up luh, so yeah. then i felt so bad cause he's spending his everyday with me, and he prolly would have preferred to spend it with his friends.

i guess it was the right choice for him when i let him go.

these two days have been better i think? been trying to smile and laugh. i guess i did, max said i looked more cheerful and stuff. but i cant help thinking about certain things that make me rather sad. i can try to hide it from everyone else in class, in school. but i wont stop thinking about it, which makes me sad.

my cousin whom i have not met in several years came to talk to me out of the blue. haha yeah, she's from my paternal side of the family. the eldest out of the bunch of us (the cousins). frankly speaking... i dont even talk to my cousins, let alone am close to them. but my cousin's leaving for auckland soon and she wants me to have dinner with her family and stuff (meaning my first aunt, uncle, her bro and herself)... so yeah i'm going. i wonder how my dad will react to that? i guess my mum will be okay? i'm not so sure either... maybe both will react negatively...

i should go shower and all now.. i'm DAMN tired. but i'm still gonna stay up to do my tutorials :D lol work work work

jiayou

i'll prolly update more the next time i blog :D

[the insensitive remarks.]

today was a bad day....

i felt really alone in class today luh.

i started to think and reflect upon my past words and actions. i felt really guilty.... if you were to ask me what i did or said, i honestly cant think of what, but i felt guilty nonetheless. i started to cry on the inside and i felt like i was bleeding inside. i was just extremely sad today. and since i didnt have anyone to talk to today, i felt even worse... sigh

at the end of the day, i heard something damn horrendous and humiliating... i was so sad i cried when i got home. i didnt want to go to school tomorrow because of that. i just didnt think that they would take the joke even further, so far it's really too far. i started to cry as i walked out of school and i cried even more when i got home. the things they said were really insensitive....

i got really upset cause seriously, what they said made things and made me look damn ugly... not outlook but yeah. although it's totally and absolutely untrue, it still reflected very badly and i was crying for an hour because of that. after cooling down, jamming my brains on GH3, and talking to sarah, i felt better... and soon after, i was kinda like my happy self again. i decided i shall go to school happy tomorrow.

i know i've been emoing so often that people are prolly starting to get sick of me... sometimes i get so scared when i confide in people cause i emo so much i'm so afraid they'll start to take flight because of my emoness. then when i keep it in, i feel even more miserable.... i feel so afraid to show my weaknesses but i still do, which seriously sucks.

i hope tomorrow will be a better day. i'm better now... less crying and i guess you can say i've almost gotten over it.

mind you lar, i'm not emoing cause of relationships and such, i have other problems...

i guess the whole class could tell i was in the emo mode, i guess thats why no one wanted to talk to me. this is what i mean by people evading me or taking flight cause of my emoness. SIGH.

i said sorry many times today... and each time i said sorry, i was gonna cry. i did, and all that was left was nothing but an unspeakable sense of guilt. it made me really really sad and lonely today. my mood was really down in the pits today and it sunk so much deeper when i found out about that something which made me cried real bad.

it made me feel like i couldnt trust anyone else and i seriously wanted to quit. it was indeed a lousy day today.

[thanks for the memories.]


haha good morning? i kinda just woke up...

was on the phone with sarah for 2 hours last night... from 1+ to about 330. it was really a joy talking to her cause we had so many things in common and we had the same sentiments about many things. at least i know there's someone else who totally and completely knows how i feel in class.

however, it doesnt mean that these problems wont vanish. i want to find a way to solve them. talking it to them would brew more trouble and i'm not thinking too much cause sarah agrees. i really wonder what can be done...

sigh, why?

i really really really miss my PAE class, 1S17. we were always so together. wherever we went, we were a class. all the retarded jokes we cracked in class. the names we gave each other (policewoman, lao da, etc.).. i really miss you 1S17. haha not to forget the SY and YS, as well as the wenhui concert that goes on everyday. times when we pon classes together... haha i miss all of that... although it's all gone, but i'll always remember the times. 1S17 was prolly the reason why i really didnt mind staying in srjc and they made me smile every single day, almost every minute of the day. i was even willing to go to school despite being terribly ill, for them and to enjoy their company.

really thank wenhui, lijuan, jon, mok, jerome, ek, fong wai, aldrich, greg, kelvin, steph, zenda and mel for being such wonderful friends up to now... although zenda and fong wai left for sajc, aldrich, ek, steph, lijuan and kelvin for poly, i wont forget the times we spent together... during PAE and during the first 2 weeks of JAE. they made the start of my jc life a pleasant one.

i love you guys