[wish.]

a lot, and i mean A LOT to do.

- amath homework
- emath homework
- ss test tomorrow
- emath test tomorrow
- history essay

history essay will prolly take up 30 mins or less? then my emath will take up about 15 mins. amath homework prolly another 20 mins. emath test (on locus and cumulative frequency), shouldnt be much of a problem if i still remember everything....

and finally

the ss test. my worst subject. wth, three chapters.. this will prolly take me the entire night man... just to study.. man... i think i'll try to finish everything by 2am man... i'm super tired.

went for vex in the afternoon. came back at like 9+pm. then had to shower, eat and everything, and here i am now.

the ss test was to be pushed to next thursday but because the literature people didnt want it on the same day as their lit test, they also voted for it to be tomorrow. sucks man... and it's not as if you can study all three chapters in a matter of hours right? and you have a week, to study the two subjects what... just dont study on the day before the test lar...

so yeah.. because everything was decided so quickly.

let's just say my teacher forgot the ss test was tomorrow, and my class managed to bluff him, telling him he never told us there was no ss test... so he said to have it next week, but because it had to be a thursday, it had to be pulled back to tomorrow.. sigh. having tests and stuff everyday.

and the emath test.. it was gonna be either tomorrow or friday what... and she just told us TODAY there was a test, so yeah, it's this friday. i still have another amath test next week. omg.

that confidence of mine just broke. i just passed my stupid amath test... thats to the b^2-4ac formula. crappy...........

i was already very tired by the time sch ended.. plus i had to go for vex, so yeah, even more tired now, and i still have to study. omg.

and oh yeah, think i screwed up the chem paper today. sheesh...

[triggered.]

i see more and more troubled people around me.

i'm pretty sure i made a terrible mistake today. i hurt someone's feelings today. i'm sorry. my words and actions triggered your train of thoughts, made you feel like a big letdown. the fact is, you arent okay? you're not...

we humans arent perfect. if we were, this place would prolly be boring. well yeah we're all trying to be perfect and all, despite knowing it's prolly impossible. we can only lead almost perfect lives. yeah, i know people who lead almost perfect lives. lives we love to envy, but do not forget, for every single person is unique in their own way. just like fingerprints... everyone is different, why focus on the past when you have the present and the future to look at?

i start to look around me, at the people who are going through the rough times of their lives. i wonder to myself "what can i do to help?"

yeah, i wish i could. having to keep a lot of things a secret and having to act under that restriction, it's difficult. it kinda hurt, seeing so many of my friends so down and troubled. i feel helpless.

when i'm the cause, i dont know what i can do to make things better. for now, apologising wouldnt be able to do anything to help, because whatever i do and say, is wrong. maybe i'm the one being the letdown, screwing up in the present, and may affect the future. who knows man, who knows.

[freaky monday.]

tiring day.

physics test tomorrow T.T

chem test the day after T.T

ss test the day after the day after T.T

oh wait. another chinese test the day after the day after =.=

physics practical today was =.= never heard of the curve of bestfit until TODAY and my tutor was telling me there was no such thing =.= omigosh. yeah

it was a freaky day today though. i decided to skip recess. because i cant stand waiting for 15 minutes just to get the food and only left with 9 mins to eat it.. and the last time i waited, i spilled a little gravy on this poor girl's sleeve, dang-ness, i know, i'm horrid.. she decided it was okay and ran off, so i didnt get my chance of doing something about the sleeve. =.=

so anyway, i was in class with savie, bonnie, jas, jac, the usual (people who skip recess and stay in class), so yeah. i was heading to class with savie when we saw this girl sitting by a corner, crying. yeah we decided it was nothing much so we walked off. well she was right outside our classroom. rah.

okay so we're happily doing our work when "AHHHHH!" yeah someone screamed... as though someone has just violated her. it was really scary... so there was this moment of silence until joy broke it with a whisper, telling us there was this girl crying outside our classroom. then fine...

i moved to the front with bonnie and we were sharing a packet of keropok (she made me bring it home in the end and savie and i finished it), then another scream. it was like he scream of terror or something. bonnie said "she sounds as though she's having severe depression". well yeah, she was kinda true... then two girls suddenly showed up at the door, knocked and said "erm, sorry for all the noise, cause our friend just got her phone confiscated"

i see why now. she cries and screams, all for a phone. i guess the teacher was pretty nasty. okay i didnt know who the heck the teacher was until after recess when it was emath and mrs kunna came in, told us she confiscated a girl's phone, because she was using it in class, smsing "some boy" (i'm just quoting what she said). so yeah. thats why she was outside OUR classroom, cause the CONFISCATION took place in OUR classroom. sad case huh? but it was a little too exaggerated over a phone right? i mean you'll still get your sim card back. you'll get the phone back at the end of the term i think... but well, since it's the START of them term, i kinda understand...

yesh, it was freaky.

met up with jinwei, kage and erm jinwei's friend (sorry togu, i dont remember her name). yeah lester and i met up with them at take and we sat at pasta cafe for more than an hour. i guess it was entertaining listening to their jokes and all that. jinwei bought the dn2 ost and hahaha i still dont get why they said it was the advanced and hi-tech way of using the deathnote. omg i'm slow, very slow.

which reminds me why i'm A YEAR slow... i just told zong today "omg, did you change your specs?" according to them (gerri and savie), she changed them a year ago. yeah, now you get why.

AHAHAHAHHAHA this blog is gonna be 3 years old man!!!! in another 1 month and 1 day, happy birthday BLOG. sheesh. that was wheelchair.

anyway, i'm totally, not totally, DRAINED. if i were totally drained, then i would typing this in my sleep right? ah-ha-ha, bu hao xiao (omg thats so james) yeah, because of pe FIRST thing in the morning. yeah yeah.

bleagh, i'm gonna sleep, good ngiht. bye =)

[sweet world.]

it wasnt the end.

yiqi and gerri gave me three pair of earrings, hahaha at least it isnt that alte compared to last year. come on, they gave me a pig 6-7 months after my birthday =.= thanks for them though, know you two went down to bugis just to specially get them.

asther and enchou got me some bleach stuff from comics connection. hahaha, i heard she (asther) wanted to get me the 69 dollar figurine, ex =.= but thanks anyhow, i'm glad my laopo had her happy ending.

i heard ben still has two more presents for me, and he was flooding the forums. omg. he is crazy lar... i think togusa got mad and locked all the well, ahem, obscene, ahem, threads.

the fact is, i still do feel horrid about what i did in the past. yeah the stupid mistakes i made to hurt people and in turn, hurt myself as well. it was my selfishness that really got me, right there, hit-on.

yeah i'm still good at hurting people, what an idiot. i still throw tantrums and make people feel horrid. one very good example, would be my mum, next lester, next the close friends i have around me. hahaha i can make people hate me for no reason too, pro eh? hahaha no idea, i dont know, i dont know. what can i do? really, what can i do? just sit here and watch, wait for that SOMETHING to fall from the sky, then yay(!)? gee.

at that point of time, i hurt someone very very dear to me, as well as my best friend. i was starting to get so... rah. i started to worry almost everyone around me. even chrystal was wondering if i lost my sanity or something. yeah i was dazed in class. haha, right, since when was i NOT dazed? but anyhow, it happened.

i'm not making any sense, am i? i cant predict what i'll do next, but i just want to keep things the way they are now. i just dont want to start losing, and right till the end, emo in a corner and cry. sucks.

this is such a crappy entry since i havent blogged for 7 days, a week.

oh yeah. i got scolded in class for nothing. retarded story. and savie cant stop laughing at me. yes, i've been rather clumsy and retarded ever since i got back to school.

cca orientation today, i didnt go :'( yes, my last year, and i dont show up. but i heard things went well. thats good to hear i guess. hope the new juniors are not the kinds who love to slack and not come for cca meetings, cause thats what every senior wouldnt want, omg, it's scaring me.

i helped out with their happy ending yest. yeah i know it isnt the end, but haha yeah, at least they kinda resolved "everything". yay for them. haha

i hope i do well for that amath test. i put in hell lot of an effort for that stupid 14-qn test, really. hahaha okay, out of the 14 qns, i managed at least 11 of them, confident of getting an A or a B. wow this is the first time i've felt this confident. haha

bleagh, the newspaper collection is CANCELLED.rah, cause.... he forgot about us. tada, tada! hahaha okay lar... but yeah it's cancelled, and i dont know whats gonna happen cause we already gave out the flyers and it has our school name on it, omigosh... hahaha

ah well, enjoy your weekend, have fun, sayonara :)

[sweet sixteen.]

it was my birthday yesterday.

lester gave me flowers, chocolate and a bottle of wine, haha thanks =D

hahahaha tricia and clovis gave me a really nice present, a forever friends mug! hahaha thanks!!! it's really cute.

edmund gave me 16 stars in a box with a message! haha yeah it's really sweet, thanks kor =)

james gave me this nice keyboard, haha thanks man =)

ms lim gave me chocolates haha, thanks :)

hahaha i was getting more presents this year... well i hvnt got so many presents on my birthday before... and hahaha a lot of people remembered my birthday cause of the friendster reminders, hahahaha yeah, but thanks for all the birthday wishes. when i have the time, i'll post the photos here :)

need to complete my homework, bye :)

[an unspoken fear.]

first day of school. they start talking about the o levels. yeah no surprise. new form teacher is mrs kunna, and since she was telling us all the shoulds and should-nots, i was really starting to get really scared.

it was a rather boring day... with 2 free periods (which lasted 1hr and 10 mins). gerri and i were talking about vex and well, thats all we could talk about... yeah, we were talking about what can be done right now, and stuff like that.

oh yeah, i finished the sweets jinwei gave to me, haha nice.

i was a little out of this world and when joseph sent me an sms about some good news, i was kinda brightened up a lil and yeah hope that little piece of good news would help me get through today.

should i have dinner outside or at home? i'll still be having it alone anyway... so should i cook some instant noodles at home or go out to buy? you know what? maybe i'll just eat an apple like i did for recess today. yeah i ate an apple and nothing else... well my mum did ask me to stop eating so much. lol.

savie, gerri and zong came over after school. we were just talking about some issues and well gerri and i decided to get our information for our project from the textbook since we kinda did it during the 2 free periods.

hahaha i need to buy a lot of things.. well i kinda just realised... i need to buy

1 amath file
1 emath file
1 ss file
1 chem file
1 chinese file
labels
a new file

yeah, i shall buy these stuff buy my subject files by tomorrow? or friday.. the bookshop is always so crowded, as usual... as for labellers, guess i'll buy it with my files... new file prolly from popular haha.

need the space for more TYSs and all the notes... for o levels =.=

i'll clear my stuff now.

i hope i can stop being like this. just hope nothing bad happens just when i have so much faith in it.

[all of my tears will air dry with just a little time.]

haha have been rather lazy to blog.

anyways, back in sg. it was super warm in KL, warmer than in sg because there are more trees in sg. yes, so please protect the trees.

this is how heavy the mist is in genting... it's taken from my hotel room, on the 12th floor.
















yeah i thought i couldnt enter the outdoor theme park because of the mist, but i did in the end, because haha the weather was pretty okay after a while.






























there was this guy on this ride. and well, i was in the queue... then whoosh! something flew over my head and the next thing i heard was something breaking. i looked behind and there, a phone smashed. GG, ultimate GG! anyway, we were all wondering whose it is and pretty sad man, the phone was wrecked and in PIECES. yeah it was some guy's phone... you see the bottom left hand corner of the first photo? yeah the phone broke into pieces there and i was not too far from it... i didnt take a photo of it though, it just looked bad. my cousin was in love with this ride... so i kept going on it with her for like 3 times?

my cousin was in love with this rodeo thing, i have no idea why. it just goes up and down... haha cause she was too short and too light for the more thrilling rides my bro and i went on, she was so upset she cried. yeah you know the space shot? the one that brings you all the way up into the sky and suddenly it just goes all the way down, yeah you get the idea. well she wanted to go on that one. even i dont dare to. but she's 6 man, how to go on that thing? there was this rodeo thing that was well, kinda like a smaller version of that...
















she's the one on the far left.

oh yeah, the mcnuggets in malaysia are packed like this
















and yeah the fries are not as salty as the fries in sg. haha
















the bumpy ride from genting to KL.....

the 28th and 29th were spent in KL. wahhh it was freaking hot there.

bought stuff there. duh. and walked a lot, now my foot STILL hurts... this is bad, very bad. i dont wanna be bai ka.

the bus ride from KL back to singapore was rah... my stupid tv was screwed up when i was right a the end of fantastic four, super dang. but well, it was better after a while, but it was not again. ahhh.....

haha spent new year's eve with jinwei, james, dom, jasper and ben. we were on the waiting list of irc. we gave up halfway and went to the irc at parklane instead, jasper left when we were paying. yeah lanned for like 3 hours, played bf2. we spent the first minute of the year killing each other.

so yeah, out countdown was at 7-11, at 12.44am. dom bought a chicken bun and was cooking it. jinwei and i went eating and talking. then dom tapped me on the shoulder and said "look look, we're having a countdown" james, dom and ben were having a countdown, just when the timer reached 10, they started to countdown "10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1"

dom: yay!!!
james: happy new year dom!!!
ben: hahaha

jinwei and i were standing at a side laughing at their silliness, alright all of were doing weird things... because there was this queue for the microwave and they were ahem staring at us. haha. we're crazy, yeah.

anyways, jinwei was sweet to get me something from japan!!! hahaha yeah, deathnote and sweets. i'm eating the sweets right now, they're nice man.
















despite being pink, they're nice and sweet.
















present in wrapper (excluding the sweets.. they were wrapped in green paper and stuck on top of this.)

















togusa's only notebook, now it's mine MUAHAHAHA, joking haha. i noticed there was something scribbled at the bottom of the note (on the wrapper) and then it was cancelled. it said "and i am not ryuk." hahaha cute sia.

haha thanks jinwei!

hahaha and james! wahhhhh he got me a keyboard o.o must be damn ex... hvnt got a photo of it yet because it's still with turtle hahaha... thanks man!

lester too! haiyoh he got me so many things... haha the battlefield 2, the battlefield 2142, and the necklace... thanks!!!
















my mum, she got me my vision M... haha thanks!!!
















the happy new year didnt turn out very happy... there were bombings in bangkok... kage and lester were still there... well lester was in the hotel, so well, it wasnt bombed, thankfully... but kage... jinwei was trying so hard to call her... he couldnt the whole night last night, up till this afternoon, when she's finally back in sg.

was supposed to watch dn2, but didnt in the end. ah well, i'll try to find time again, haha i'll try.

a whole of unhappy things at home as well. dying in this crossfire. being dragged into it. and i'm facing problems of my own too. i'm just lousy, always screwing things up. sigh... moodless, just like jinwei... if jinwei is not moodless, then i think i'm the only one who is. seriously... i'm just not in the mood to do anything... i was suppsoedly writing my essay today... i wrote half of it and went to play the guitar... i didnt even play it like really play it... i was just holding it most of the time or strumming without any notes.... when lester called, i was speaking in such an irritated tone... sorry... i didn't mean it.

adding on to my burdens, i think i'll just die. what at thing to say on the first day of the year. i'm just wasting away. i just want to lie in bed and do nothing.

well, happy new year to all =)

[not-so-merry christmas.]

haha merry christmas... hahaha how ironic. thats the first thing i say after putting up such a title.

i spent the entire day watching nana. yes jinwei, i'm slow when it comes to anime too haha.

anyway, come to think of it. i've been having this nickname "nana" since i was P5... erm you wouldnt be able to guess who first called me that... it's jiaying... well i admit i didnt like that name at first, but i guess i kinda got used to it when the whole class knew about it and started calling me that. then lyn li had to call me nana-sai. dang. i think nana is nicer. if you break my email address up, you get three words... "nana say haha". i know it's cheesy and stupid, but i guess my mind went blank when i had to think of a new email address. i didnt want to stick to nana_sai2003 in 2005! so i changed it. hahaha yeah... i think thats an easier name than briana right?

going to genting and KL tomorrow. bus leaving at around 7 i think. turtle said it's foggy, so if the bus falls off on the way there and i die, haha, gg sia... at least i died watching anime, HAHA, on my mp3 player.

yeah i finally got my creative zen vision m. yayness. my dad didnt get it for me, my mum did, haha. i've taken up half the space in a day, with all the anime and songs i transferred into it.

i hvnt packed for the trip tomorrow, haha. i better do after blogging. ah well.

i'm having a moody christmas... my christmas last year... cant remember. but yeah, i'm having a moody christmas. so much for MERRY christmas. i need santa to cheer me up, haha just joking. but yeah, strike out the "err" in merry and replace it with "ood"

merry
moody

okay lame.

christmas eve was pretty okay i guess... went out with en chou and asther... to countdown. haha we spent 20 bucks at the arcade... thats cause if you spend 20 bucks, you get another 20 bucks free. so yeah.

haha ah well, back on the 29th... yeah seeya! have fun and merry christmas!

[10 day substitute.]

hahaha i'm sick.

yeah thatnks to the rain. okay i like rain alright? i just got caught in it for three days.

sunday.

newspaper collection. haha it's always fun when you see all sorts of things. haha yeah, there was this unit i went up to and there was this huge mistletoe on the door, blocking the peep-hole. DANG. anyway, i was walking in the rain before i got to macs. and then ran in the ran just to get to the other block.

monday.

vex... jianeng was there. yeah when we were going home, the rain was so heavy and despite standing at the bus stop, we still got wet, because the rain got in and our pinafores were wet, except for where the belt is supposed to be. in the end, we missed the 506 bus and instead of waiting for the next one (which will take another half hour), we took a cab to bishan. it was long ride and i was telling her stories. BLEAGH!!! the fare waws $15.40, cause it was also the peak hour, damn. so suay lar.

tueday.

hahaha vex again. went out for lunch with en chou and james. was caught in the rain on the way back. yeah we ran from the bus stop opposite the school to into the school, which is about 10m??? so anyway, after vex, went to eleos with james, which is all the way at tanjong pagar. he was having an interview with mr kang and stuff so i waited till like 8pm. then we headed to some food centre to eat. getting outta there was the worst part. we got lost. walked in the rain, trying to hail a cab. okay we were in between chinatown and tanjong pagar. well, hailing a cab at chinatown isnt the best idea because the drivers dont give a damn and they either switch to busy the moment they see you flagging their cab or purposely be "on call" and wait in a corner for i dont what either. it was raining of course. so after half an hour of trying to hail a cab, we decided to TRY to find our way to the train station. haha we found our way, or rather james remembered how to get there and yay, we were outta there. it was freezing and it felt like winter. well, at least to me lar. finally got home.

there, three days. i started coughing on tuesday and was down with a little cold on wednesday. ll a little sick at this moment.

i think the real shock was from those cab drivers who totally dont care about passengers in the rain. please lar!!! CHINATOWN... equals to tourists.... equals to singapore's image. dang.

started watching a new anime yesterday. it's called NANA. i can say the story's pretty interesting. it's mostly about two girls of the same age, same name (their names are nana... and nana), same origin and they're both going to tokyo. now they're living together as roomates in a apartment they rented. haha although one's a sweet kinda girl and the other's a rock star (the gothic kind), haha they both get along pretty well. i'm only on the 3rd episode. haha. i see why chrystal keeps urging me to watch NANA.

i was just reminded of why this "10-day substitute" thing even existed. it's a long story. haha

[bus 506.]

i saved an old man from a worm.

i was on the way home no bus 506. this old man boarded the bus and much to my horror, i saw this worm on the collar of his polo tee. i went over and told him. he was a little freaked out too. i took out a piece of tissue paper and "collected" the bug, it crawled onto the tissue paper and i didnt know what to do with it except hold that piece of tissue paper and watch it crawl on it. the old man took the tissue paper and i think he crushed it. BLEAGH.

well, there you have it, the events that keep happening on bus 506, haha.

went shopping with my mum today. it turned out pretty unpleasant at first. look, i'm not the kind who shops. especially clothes. she just wanted to get some clothes for chinese new year. sigh. and becuase my mind was drifting off somewhere, i got scolded.

newspaper collection tomorrow. yay.

i shall make a trip to ikea tomorrow =D

no frs, that's crappy...

[the things we all have to worry about.]

the bus broke down today.

was on the way home after vex, on bus 506, when the bus broke down 2 stops before the stop where i was gonna alight. well i was sleeping, and edmund woke me up when people were starting to alight the bus.

well when the bus uncle wanted to hand us the free ticket to the next bus, his hands were shivering. i could tell he was pretty nervous. come on lar, the bus you just drove broke down leh... i was afraid for him, seeing him like that. come on lar, the poor guy's hands were shivering. so i told him not to be nervous and it's okay, we'll just take the ticket and separate them ourselves.

took the bus 59 instead since i can alight it right in front of school, which is just right across the street from my place.

tiring day. haha not enough sleep lar.

it rained. hahaha yeah. ruixue was caught in the rain. i caused felix to miss his bus, haha that was hilarious. haha mr chong and ms lim were really funny with the cable ties... hahaha hmm...

anyway, late. i've been at this window for 3 and a half hours. it's 1.45am now. no kidding. haha ah well, bye, enjoy your day :)

[the blatant truth - substitution.]

yeah i'm still awake at this hour (5.26am, look at the time this entry was posted). i'm just afraid i wont be able to wake up at 9am later

just got off the phone with dom. i guess our conversation kinda got me thinking about a lot of things.

wow (world of warcraft) is fun. yeah was wowing with dom for like 4 hours? haha yeah, completed a lot of quests in two days.

that was the past. think about the past and present if you dont wanna think of the future. i wonder if i'm doing the right thing by looking into the past and trying hard to figure it out all over again. i guess the sweet memories are much more difficult to remember than the not-so-sweet ones because they're linked, somehow.

thinking of the people who hurt me, made me feel terrible and guilty, i will feel bitter inside that makes me wanna cry. i guess that explains why.

thats the past. thinking back, i would wanna laugh at the silly things i have done. however, there's nothing i can do about it, just live with it. yeah just like all the misfortunes i have met so far, that placed me in a situations leading to who i am now, i'll just live with it.

well, my eyebags are popping out, which means to say i'm really tired. ah well, good night/morning =)

[memory stick.]

a girl just knocked on my door. well i was the one who opened it. she spoke to me in chinese. she told me she was from ********* **** sec sch (i won't disclose the school name) and there are students from her school who are taking their o levels next year but their families have no income, so she wanted me to buy an ice cream. well i declined to but felt super bad once i got back to my room. yeah, i felt like running out of the house, running after her, and buying an ice cream.

well, i'm taking my o levels next year as well and yeah, it is important. in fact, it's important to all of us. i guess my mum would prolly just say she was a fake or something. what would you think of someone going up to your doorstep at 8.30pm at night and asking you to buy an ice cream cause there are people out there who cant take their o levels? would you buy an ice cream? an ice cream sold would mean a lot to them, then why didn't i buy one? regret regret.

and yeah, the story in my previous entry was from an email my mum sent me. when i read it, it got me thinking. we all do have that choice to be that positive person, or to be that negative person. rah, i shall stop thinking so much about this and take each step at a time, keeping in mind that we can all be happy happy people and lead happy happy lives.

it was a hectic day. went to school at noon just to collect some goods and a lot of flyers. i guess it's so much easier when you're living right across the street and it'll only take you at most 5 mins to get to school.

had to meet mag at bugis straight away cause we had some stuff to do. spent half an hour buying her dad's memory stick for her computer. yeah, we got it. it's $57. today was the first time i saw a memory stick.

we bought a lot of food. okay not a lot. i bought chicken balls and ice lemon tea from tori q, spring rolls from old chang kee and soy milk from lavender.

chicken balls + ice lemon tea -> $2.50
spring rolls -> $0.90
soy milk -> $1.30

TOTAL = $4.70

okay i just realised i spent that much on lunch. and i didnt really eat that much, if you look at it again.

hahaha so it was a day out with mag. haha i guess i cant remember when was the last time i went out with mag. hahaha that would have been a real long time ago.

i guess you cant really say it was hectic, cause i came home and i went to sleep, for 2 hours. yeah i sure did.

i packed my room. it looks neater. haha, but it's still messy. i know it's ironic, but you'll get the idea =)

rah, tuition tomorrow. then i gotta go all the way to paya lebar, rah rah.

once again, my bro is off to some chalet. this time, i dont know what chalet it is. i think it's some chalet they organised themselves. hahaha all the rich people. ah well.

[and all my tears will air dry with just a little time.]

spent the entire day playing games with lester. haha yeah. bf2 was a killer. i got killed way too many times. i'm like ranked somewhere near the bottom of the list.

read this. it's a story my mum sent me weeks back.

choices

Jerry is a manager at a restaurant. He is always in a good mood.
When someone asked him how he was doing, he would alwyas reply, "If I were better, I would be twins!"
Many of the waiters quit their jobs when he changed jobs,
so they could follow him around from restaurant to restaurant
Why?

Because, Jerry was a natural motivator.
If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry would always be there, telling him or her how to look on the positive side of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jerry and asked him:
"I don't get it! No one can be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?"
Jerry replied,

"Each morning I wake up and say to myself, I have two choices today. I can choose to be in a good mood or I can choose to be in a bad mood. I always choose to be in a good mood.

Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be victim or I can choose to learn from it. I always choose to learn from it.

Everytime someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I always choose the positive side of life."

"But it's not that easy", I protested.

"Yes it is", Jerry said.

"Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk every situation is a choice.

You choose how to react to situations.

You choose how people will affect our mood.

You choose to be in a good mood.

It's your choice how you live your life."

Several years later,
I heard Jerry accidentally did something you are never supposed to do in the business.
He left the back door of his restaurant open.
And then???
In the morning, he was robbed by three armed men.
They want?
#123*+!@$%&*~
While Jerry tried to open the safe box,
his hand, shaking from nervousness, slipped off the combination.
The robbers panicked and shot him.
Luckily, Jerry was found quickly and rushed to hospital.
After 18 hours of surgery,
and weeks of intensive care,
Jerry was released from the hospital with fragments of bullets still in his body...
I saw Jerry six months after the accident.
When I asked him how he was,
he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins. Want to see my scars?"
I declined to see his wounds, but did not ask him what he went through his mind as the robbery took place.

"The first thing that went through my mind was that I should have locked the back door", Jerry replied.

"Then, after they shot me, as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or could choose to die. I chose to live."

"Weren't you scared?", I asked.

Jerry continued, "The paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine." But when they wheeled me into the emergency room and I saw the expression on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'He's a dead man.' I knew I needed to take action."

"What did you do?" I asked.

"Well there was this big nurseshouting questions at me", said Jerry. "She asked if I was allergic to anything."

"Yes", I replied.

"The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, "Bullets!" Over their laughter, I told them, "I am choosing to live, please operate on me as though I'm alive, not dead."

Jerry lived, thanks to the skills of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude.

I learned from him that everyday you have the choice to either enjoy your life or to hate it. The only thing that is truly yours - that no one can control or take from you

is your attitude, so if you can take care of that, everything else in life becomes much easier.

--------------------------------

yeah, and thats it... sayonara, enjoy your hols =)

[kingdom hearts II.]

upgraded my blogger acc to the new version.. and maybe i like the old one better. haha

finished my chem and emath homework... WHEE yeah man. haha if you realised, i always procrastinate and leave my homework to the last two days of hols... there are three more weeks to school. haha maybe cause chrystal said she finished her homework that made me wanna finish up my homework as well. it isn't a bad thing what. all i have left is

1 amath paper
4 chinese essays
1 chinese compre
1 history project (group work i suppose)
i english book review

re-reading pendragon for my book review. SIAN LAR. elizabeth is still holding to my other three pendragon books. i'm only left with the first book, that is pendragon: the merchant of death. pendragon: the lost city of faar, pendragon: the never war and pendragon: the reality bug is still with her!!! rah... i hvnt read pendragon: black water and hvnt bought the next two books (the rivers of zadaa and the quillan games). haiyah i havent touched pendragon for a long time. i have the rough idea of what the story is like but if you asked me about details, i prolly forgotten half of them.

have been spending my week on vex and homework. hahaha oh yeah, i actually started playing kingdom hearts II again after knowing dom is ahead of me! rah.... if i'm not wrong, he's stuck at the sephiroth part. and you know what? i'm at the revisiting-of-worlds part. rah.

jinwei's in japan now and hahaha nice of him to tag from japan. haha lester still reads my blog and tags from thailand. haiyah, many people leaving for holiday. enchou leaving for malaysia for the whole week next week. kor going to malaysia once enchou returns. oh yeah, jasper's back. zhen xiao's still in taiwan. matilda's in tasmania. gerri's leaving for beijing soon. amanda pai's in malaysia now.

yeah, christmas up soon. can say i'm not rich enough to buy presents. hahaha unlike last year, i'm not working as temp this year. so no money to go christmas shopping haha.

i shall go play now =) i'll do my homework later larrr. i did chem till 3 last night. haha

[stand up.]

everything's made to be broken.

i hope everything will turn out fine for you guys... stay strong yeah?

this is second time i'm going through this. maybe cause it happened to me before that i kinda understand how it feels when someone else is going through it. it's a real bitter feeling when you see it happening and next thing you know, you just break, just like that. please be okay alright?

fll day 2 today. well, i dont know why but there were some performances. okay. all ballet. NO IDEA WHY. i wonder how you put ballet with robotics... but well, they did it, and it didnt look good =.= it looked extremely weird... even without robotics... yeah.

then went to expo for siteX... stef was there, selling ipods. hahaha. yeah a lot of stuff there...

wahhh many people leaving the country... jinwei, tricia and jasper.

gotta go to e2max tomorrow.

bleagh i dont know what to say. hahaha omg i finished 2/3 of my emath homework... haha but it doesnt mean i still dont have hw...

shall play 1 dota match with mr moh.... and then do my hw hahaha... finish up the remaining 1/3 hahaha...

i'm exhausted man haha... was already pretty sleepy in the morning haha.

have fun people =)

[everything's made to be broken.]

oh man i just realised i didnt update my blog for a week =.= DANG

anyway i shall just talk about whatever that happened over the week.

lester is gonna be away for more than a month. he and dom left for malaysia last friday for a competition in KL and well they were 1st runner ups, yay for them haha. then dom returned on monday. lester flew to thailand and he's in hong kong now. hahaha yeah

just last week, ij participated in robofest, a competition organised by ELPMIS and it was held at the ishop at orchard cineleisure. we sent in two teams (transcend and livewire) and well we came back with an award. my team won the photogenic award. hahaha we just had to look nice on our cert. BLEAGH haha. and velda likes this damai guy lar. his name is kevin. hahaha he is eye candy lar. hahahaha and super pro too. his team won champ =.= hahaha. and yeah got to know the nanhua people. haha they're a cool bunch man... was lanning at e2max (mr kang's treat, heeee) with them along with kelvin and mr david moh. well took a photo with all of them cause we were all volunteers, but the photo's with kelvin and i dont have his contact. when i get the photo, i may post it here. yeahh because of robofest, ticko wouldnt stop calling my brani, because gerri told him people call me that and yes he started calling me that. to be fair, i started calling him ticko, although his real name is tick meng. he doesnt mind though... his email has "ticko" in it. rah. hahaha, yeah it was a great knowing them. robofest was pretty fun, got to know lot of people and stuff. and i was official on the day before the finals. well i was initially there to give my support to revoltage (tricia, jinwei, ben) and meltdown (kor, zul, clovis), but i ended up as an official and got to know almost all of them, even daniel. daniel is this guy who's in sajc now. he graduated from nanhua sec sch and is also in my kor's OG grp haha. hahaha his hello kitty is velda. haha omg lar, it was hilarious. he still doesnt know who's his hello kitty and when the nanhua people were explaining why velda was hello kitty, they said it's cause daniel liked her back view. haha oh man. and she's hello kitty cause daniel's daniel, if you get what i mean. daniel is hello kitty's husband. thinking about the times i spent with them, it just tickles me.

then there was arc camp. hahaha super fun. try captain's ball, or rather captain's chicken. yeah we played with a raw chicken. no, 2 raw chickens.. haha it was hilarious. the bbq was kinda fun and i just found out mr david moh can play the guitar really well. he was playing good riddance by green day on the guitar, the whole song. pretty cool. showered at 1am. since savie and i were the last two to shower and ms lim didnt want us to go down to shower that late cause it may be dangerous, she told us to shower in the staff toilet on the 2nd storey. hahaha since i brought savie's guitar there, savie was playing the guitar. zong and savie taught me a little as well. whee. the time spent there was priceless. haha i love my fellow arcians.

i just went to school this morning. just to start and finish a history essay. it was group work so yeah, clara, deborah, gerri and i were working on it for about an hour. i typed everything out and sent it, yay. blargh. that piece of holiday assignment is due tomorrow and yes finally got it off my mind.

if you hvnt seen jinwei's new blog layout, it's super nice lar. and makes me wanna steal it. RAH.

http://whattheflush.blogspot.com/

yeah togu, can i steal your layout? haha.

prep starts tomorrow. yeah gotta go to the east every weekday and maybe sat from today till mid-jan. haha.

RAH my bro bought a razer mouse pad. like WTH! he has the money to buy that but no money to return to me. RAH. it's like he bought a razer diamondback a few weeks back and now he bought a razer mousepad. he only spends everyday making my life difficult and HE HASN'T PAID ME BACK. now he tells me "i only have $1+, pay what back?" wah good lar. DANG. i want my razer ProClick V1.6! preview here! haha speaking of which, i got to use it at robofest, during the finals haha. RAH.

anyways, since i completed a portion of my homework, i shall try to complete another portion tonight. i know i wont have the time this dec. haha. ah well, bye!

[struggling.]

i'm not trying to be rebellious.

i grew up with the freedom you gave me. if you suddenly take it now, i will break down.

in fact, all the threats, the crying and the guilt, really is driving me off the edge. not that i dont want to be good and listen to you or anything. you need to understand my reasons. although i cant tell you now, i hope you understand. will you really listen if i explained and told you?

i am trying. i am trying to compromise everything. maybe i'm not trying hard enough okay? then i'll try even harder. just stop doing this to me. if you think that doing this can change me, i dont think it's possible.

i'm feeling guilty alright?

i want to leave this place. i'm so afraid of losing what i hold dear to me.

things are about to pile on me, and i guess they already are.

i'll just have to learn to bear with it.

---------------------

i was hoping you would be okay after a while. i didnt think you would take it hard. wrong again, like always.

was i supposed to see that and feel extremely guilty about what had happened? you know what? it's working. it does. you chose the right time to put me down, so are you happy now?

i'm trying so hard to avoid it, to not show my weaknesses but you're forcing them outta me with everything you're doing now.

you don't have to tell me, cause i already know. you don't have to announce it to the enture world just for me to see it, i'm not that stupid to the point where i cant take notice of your feelings okay?

i really didnt want all of these to happen. i know it's my fault okay? just stop harping on it.

i'm struggling so much now.

[doing the right thing.]

i'll try to do the right thing today.

i said sorry today.

well, i feel good about it, finally apologising to her. well i just found out i kinda offended her unintentionally 8 months ago. i know sorry isnt enough to make up for anything. she'll prolly still hate me (for other reasons), but ah well, live with that.

dom's brother is adorable haha.

btw, last day of school yesterday -celebrate-

i'll try to fix things by this week. i will this sat. i'm finally getting a lot off my chest ya know?

i know stuff keep piling, but i'll be okay right till the end. haha i did promise i would be okay right? i just needed time, thats all.

want to know what's on my mind at this moment? my o levels. i'm gonna pia, chiong, whatever. target: 8 points. i'm thinking about the competitions and all. shall put in all i have next year... and i shall not let these be empty words.

lester lent me battlefield 2. -grins- and woah bf2142 is pro lar. difficult but still nice. hahha i shall play bf2 first...

my bro got a new laptop. looking on the bright side, he wont have to keep scolding me for stealing his connection, getting him dced from maple... haha i wonder....

next week - hectic. will prolly die haha.

[welcome to the black parade.]

haha this blog layout has been here for almost a year... REALLY. since last year's fll... hahaha i should change it lar... well, soon.

anyway go this off suhui's blog (saw it on debby's blog too)

My earliest memory was a fall on the way to the playground when i was 5. my maid actually praised me for being brave??? (haha i did mention in the previous entry that i'm afraid of pain) yeah i didn't cry, maybe thats why.

At school I stone, play and chat with chrystal, and well, -ahem- sleep

My first relationship was with my teddy bear when i was a small child... well i like to hug stuffed toys. i saw this huge bear at toys 'r' us and i'm simply in love with it haha.

I don't like talking about why we should all just die (yes i had that kinda conversation with someone, and she was annoying me... cause she said we lived to die. RAH)

I wish I'd never worn that cheong sum to my P6 chinese teacher's place. omg lar.

My father always told me "take care of your brother" at the start and end of every phone call.

At home I cook what i can find and cook at home... haha but if you wanna know what i usually cook, it's instant noodles.

My last meal would be at kfc with my bro, dom and lester this evening. actually we watched dom eat. not counted right? then it's recess with shar and pf this morning.

My favourite gadget is my phone.

I'm very bad at dota.

When I was a child i would go to the playground at exactly 4pm everyday, go to the beach every weekend (i lived at marine parade, can walk to east coast from my place) and i argued A LOT with my brother, gave my parents big headaches haha.

The book that changed my life is none at the moment.

It's not fashionable, but i still like to fold cranes.

The song I'd like played at my funeral is some final fantasy theme, haha they're nice.

If only I could stop getting so easily affected.

The hardest thing I've ever done was being able to express my thank yous properly.

The last belly laugh I had was today. haha

What I don't find amusing is when you're telling a very very offending joke.

I'm always being asked 'what time did you sleep last night'

Cat or Dog? i would prefer a dog, although i wouldnt mind a cat.

If I were a car i'll love my owner as long as he/she treats me really well.

i often wonder if we all see things differently.. laike maybe it's blue but in your eyes, it's a diff colour

[welcome home.]

back from RICO (Raffles Institution Chinese Orchestra) concert at the Singapore Conference Hall. hahaha zhenxiao was playing the suona. hahaha and zhaojie was percussions. rah zx cut his hair, haha can see despite being at least 10 m away okay! haha but yeah it was pretty good lar...

went to east coast yest. fell. worst fall. scraped elbow real bad. didnt stop bleeding even when i came home. my mum bought a bunch of i dont know what? gauzes (with parafin) and gauzes (without parafin) stuff to stick on my wound to "protect" it. i dont know. my bro just whacked really hard on my wound, damn pain (mind you, i'm afraid of pain so i can cry. i know it's childish but wth?) bruised on the right side of my hip bone and one or two swollen and bruised fingers. yes it was a bad fall.

sigh.

i don't know if i'm doing the right thing now okay?

should i stay or should i go?

if i left, what will happen? really, what will happen?

i brought this upon myself, didnt i?

i can't make the right decisions. i have so much to consider and i still have to listen to what my heart tells me. SHEESH, it's not easy, no one said it was in the first place. knowing how dumb and stupid i am, i still landed myself in this situation. i rather get hurt than hurt anyone. at least i'm happy being the one getting hurt. happy getting hurt, it sounds wrong, but i rather get hurt than hurting anyone else. as long as i have that to remind myself and cheer myself up, does the rest really matter? so please, do something that you know will hurt me.

if i told you i was leaving, can you be like how you are right now? if i stayed, what will happen?

i know i'm wrong, this is wrong. and seriously, it's my fault to begin with. if i had a better idea to clean this up than to pick one and start hurting people, yeah my world will come to a moment of peace. my mind is filled with nothing but my thoughts, my fears and my feelings. i fear too much, i worry too much. the two of you dont have to worry, leave it to me cause i deserve it.

-------------

good song.

Welcome Home (You) - Brian Littrell

When I left home to be who I am
Some people said "No Way"
But I laid it all down, gave everything
In my head rang the words that my father said

You're never far
I will be where you are
and when you come to me
I will open my arms

Welcome Home, you
I know you by name
How do you do?
I shine because of you today
So come and sit down
Tell me how you are
I know son, it's good just to see your face.

When I look at you holding my heart
I will give to you all that I have
Son I know there'll be times
You will feel all alone
I will share with you the words my father said

You're never far
I will be where you are
and when you come to me
You can bet I will open my arms

Welcome Home, you
I know you by name
How do you do?
I shine because of you today
So come and sit down
Tell me how you are
I know son, it's good just to see your face

Said I've been waiting for that day
Just to feel your warm embrace
Your love has shown
I will never be alone
You will welcome me home

I'll forever be
You will say to me
Welcome Home, you
I know you by name
How do you do?
I shine because of you today
So come and sit down
Tell me how you are
I know son, it's good just to see your face

When I left home to be who I am
Some people said "No Way"

[learning to breathe.]

haha omg... i posted this on the class blog. i was wondering why it didnt appear here.... BLEAGH... this happens when you have too many blogs on your dashboard. haha

haha the phone charger in my room is screwed up.... and it's new =.=

anyway, my two weeks have started. haha i'm starting to like differentiation.

was spending the whole of geog in the lang room cause we didnt have a geog teacher. so it was a free period. chrys, stef, pf, astrid, yiqi and i moved over to the lang room cause our classroom was too noisy and well it was gonna be boring staying in there for one hour doing nothing. some of us started to do some work and haha by 11.50am, we were all fooling around. haha pf, chrys and yiqi drew bubbles (ppg) on the board and started to draw all sorts of stuff on her lar. haha at about 12.30pm, some other people came in and well we stopped playing. stef, yiqi and pf moved to their other lang rooms while chrys, astrid and i stayed back for chinese. i slept for 20 mins =.=

hahaha and we didnt have chinese! yeah. laoshi treated the class to pizza. so we were all sitting in the canteen eating. jaslyn, joy and i left school early and had lunch at mos. i cant say it was exactly lunch for me cause i was just having ichigo bliss and corn soup (had pizza already). i have to say the ichigo bliss tastes really weird. it's really diff from the last time i bought it.

after lunch, met up with kor and we spent the two hours chatting about a lot of things. haha yeah. went home at about 4+, then headed for j8 to collect tickets from zhenxiao. went to the lib to look for stef. haha i was supposed to seduce shunli last night! haha. yeah cause i told stef i was gonna steal her gf. yeah it was all a joke of course. went home with shunli, did i mention she lives just right above me? well, diagonally above me cause she lives above the unit that's just on my left. haha but it's still cool. i get to see her sometimes when i go to school. haha she's really cute lar. it's funny how you can find ONE more person who speaks like stef. and she's crazy over sajc, haha (she wants to go there next year).

i wanna play nfs carbon. DAH.

hahaha not touching blogger for almost a week... it does make a difference to me. haha. it's not as if i didnt do it before...

ah well. i kinda just woke up. haha call me a pig. dont know if i'm gonna go for mass with stef later on. i dont think i'll be going for lynette and melissa's confirmation. i dont know how to get there. HAHA.

anyway this song is nice. :)

-----------------------------

Learning To Breathe - Switchfoot

Hello, good morning, how you do?
What makes your risin' sun so new?
I could use a fresh beginning too
All of my regrets are nothing new
So this is a way, that I say I need You
This is a way
This is a way

That I'm learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that you and you alone can break my fall
I'm living again, awake and alive
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies

Hello, good morning, how you been?
Yesterday left my head kicked in
I never, never thought that
I would fall like that
Never knew that I could hurt this bad

I'm learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that you and you alone can break my fall
I'm living again, awake and alive
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies
These abundant skies
Yeah, abundant skies, yeah

This is a way that I say I need You
This is a way that I say I love You
This is a way that I say I'm Yours
This is a way

This a the way that I'm learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that you and you alone can break my fall
I'm living again, awake and alive
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies
Yes I'm dying to breathe in
These abundant skies
These abundant skies, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
I'm learning to breathe
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies
Hello, good morning, how you doin'?

[chopper.]

try not to fall deeper. really. without a confirmation, the wounds sustained would be even deeper than expected.

i went to jog this morning! with ben. yeah... i got a headache all of a sudden and we ended up at the playground, playing on the swing and just chatting. after that, went to his place to teach him a tune on the piano. he taught me a simple tune on the guitar. haha yeah. his grandma was really sweet and according to him, his dog loves me cause i was constantly scratching its neck and the back of its ears. haha yeah, it's cute but it likes to lick the floor haha.

went home to shower after that and went out again. haha went to play time crisis 4 (i'm starting to love it, really) and lanned at irc (peninsula plaza) for 3 hours. seriously.. the people sitting around us were super crude. there were two people sitting right opposite us, which happened to originate from my bro's school and they were cursing and swearing non stop. we couldnt take it... after they left, they people BEHIND us started cursing and swearing at one another, at the bots, at the game. they were playing dota and i guess it got too exciting for all of them.

yeah ben and i played a lot of diff games in that 3 hours. bf2, nfs, command and conquer, company of heroes and cs. it was really fun.. haha flying the chopper was fun. yeah. haha it was hilarious, but i totally sucked at it larr.

speaking of which, ben lent me his lotr:battle for middle-earth!! haha i know it's like 2 yrs old, but i guess it's still fun? yeah...

my bro's away for chalet today. back on wednesday... yeah... 2 days and 2 nights of peace :)

bye :)

[maybe i just don't give a damn.]

haha it was pretty fun today...

went for mass with stef, ben and marcus today... yeah at holy christ. haha it was extremely quiet.... quieter than risen christ. haha yeah... but it was still enjoyable... ben and i were feeling sleepy cause haha we just didnt have enough sleep last night. he worse lar, only 3 hours of sleep.

after mass, we decided we were broke, skip dinner and went to yio chu kang to pool. pooled for like 2 hours... and just got home.

haha pool was super fun. ben and marcus offended stef so she was giving them the silent treatment. haha yeah... the both of them were worried and apologised a million times but guess stef just wanted her revenge, so yeah haha.

first game was between stef and i. haha i won. then against marcus, i lost. so ben played with marcus. ben won. he played with stef. ben won, again. so he played with marcus again and marcus won. played with ben, and i almost won, RAH. hahahaha but i cant help it lar.. ben and marcus are pros larrr.

haha all i had today was a few butter cookies and a can of pepsi twist stef treated me to, yeah thats all.

hahaha haiyah if i'm hated, so be it. in fact, i'm starting to adapt to this, starting to get used to this. i think i am. hello. i went through it thrice. it's deja vu all over again. you do know i'm super gullible and it wouldnt take anyone a lot of effort to wanna hurt me, or somehow trick me into doing or saying something. i just gotta watch my own back from now.

ah well, i shall go shower and cook something to eat... i'm starving, but i'm trying hard to control my hunger. hahaha it seems to be working lar, but i know i will faint sooned or later if i really starve the entire night... just like how i did at famine camp. haha bleagh bleagh.. have fun people! bye! good night!

[nachos.]

it's 3.16am in the morning, i'm still awake.. bleagh...

i didnt get what i wanted on thursday, that was my day of peace.

my dad is gonna make me work for him. gee, i dont want to... in fact, he's making me work without my consent, and my bro was the one who told me. so when i said i didnt want to, he said i had to tell my dad myself. well, i didnt, cause it was like 1am in the morning. so yeah... i'm busy tomorrow man....

bleagh i dont wanna work for him becasue of MANY reasons. not cause the pay is low, i dont really care about the pay, but because of a lot of other issues man. and i will seriously go nuts if he starts questioning me like he always does, and just to stop me from answering his silly questions with my silly answers (he will trick me into saying a lot of things).

yeah.. it was the last day of school on thursday... but i have two extra weeks of school, gonna start on sec 4 syllabus... cause our o levels will start earlier... and that means we might not have our 1st three months... so jinwei, dont complain... i have 2 weeks of school.. you have a month, but still have to jiayou!!!

my mum told me to watch 'the hospital'... okay frankly speaking, i didnt wanna watch it, cause jerry yan's in it. however, after i watched the first episode today, i didnt find it too bad. so i went on to watch episode 2 and 3...

yeah on the phone with dom =.= he's erm being random again. haha omg larrrr... haha since when was he NOT random??? ah well. blargh.

have a good weekend people :)

[i'm playing a disappearing act.]

forgive me for my sudden disappearance.

i need to disconnect.

when you find no reason to stay on.

just disappear.

forget the world.

too much happening lately, too much on my mind to compromise. haha i'll be fine. don't worry, i'm always fine.

a series of unexpected and unfortunate events, lead to a long train of thoughts.

i need some time to think.

thanks for the time and effort you have put into this.

haha you dont have to understand what i'm saying.

bye.

[dearly beloved.]

i can tell.

i wonder if you could tell but yeah.

it rained today, but it was not enough to satisfy my need to hear the rain. haha i sound like a psycho, please do not mind me.

just forget about me. really.

i liked my monday... haha it was a great day with zong and savie around. hahaha savie composed a song. yeah a lame song. about zong being the muah chee... i'm pretty curious why she's a muah chee actually haha.

savie changed the guitar strings for me, cause i'm stupid and dont know how to... so anyway the last string was all weird so yeah... she lent me one of her guitars.. haha omg i was practising last night... i still cant switch quick enough... RAH.

watched deathnote AGAIN. this time with dom and lester. hahahaha yeah i understand it even better now... hahaha...

and the kh2 ost rocks.

haha thanks for going through all that with me this afternoon. really appreciated it.

i'm going through deja vu all over again for the third time. it's.... upsetting sometimes... which explains my extremely moodless and expressionless state.

being myself does hurt me sometimes, even when i dont want to. being myself and doing what i can, can sometimes just mean another tragedy for me. right until the end, i lose what i treasure. i'll just try my best to get over it as soon as possible, so that i wouldnt emo in one corner, but it's still difficult to let go of it despite knowing you can never retrieve it ever again.

i cant say i can change the way people look at me, but i can change how i respond to them. and maybe thats where i'm seriously lacking. sometimes i dont give a damn, sometimes i just do. it depends on how much i respect that particular person, or how much importance they hold within me.

this is ridiculous.

forgetting it would be a problem. a really BIG problem.

briana, gambatte

[zeraffe part 2.]

after jamming, went out for dinner with them. haha melissa is a super slow eater. everyone was watching her eat her frech fries and it was really contradicting her tshirt that said "don't eat junk food" -_-'''

we headed down to bugis, to search for the gashaus... well we walked from bugis to city hall and then hannah yukon told us it was at bugis street... omg lar. we just walked all the way from there. so yeah. we DIDN'T walk back.

hung out at gloria jean's coffee (well i think thats the name) at raffles city, for 2 whole hours. haha super high lar. we were all laughing and making fun of each other. well yeah. savina and i were walking behind and we saw this jacket, savie said it was nice... and i said it was stripey. so she said "what??? i'm not a giraffe nor a zebra" so then i said giraffes dont have stripes but they have dots. so she came up with zeraffe and gibra... well she called herself a gibra and then she called me a zeraffe. haha i have no idea why but she said cause she has half the name so she needs to give the other half to someone, which happens to be me. so hello, i'm zeraffe :) haha

haha on the way home, savie and i were doing that grace yow thing.. hahaha i remember last year, grace yow showed us this neoprint she took with delle and savie. savie's eyes were like POP! haha yeah we were doing that "MAMA!" thing on the way home. super high lar.

yeah, then the horror starts.

hope it would be a better day today! haha yay.

it rained. it did. that was something pleasant to listen to.

[zeraffe.]

today was a super fun day...

hmmm overslept.... yeah i fell asleep. anyway... i awoke at 6.45am... then rah rushed like crap.... got to orchard station by 7.20am.

so yeah... spent the whole day rehearsing... or you could say i was slacking lar... practiced a few times then went to sleep in the function room... WAHHH thanks to yiqi lar!!! she was ill and couldn't make it... i was alone =.=

so anyway, i slept. for like half an hour... then my classmates woke me up to go up to ena's place. yeah... the first thing i stepped into her house, i see a fish tank.. and it's two times bigger than edmund's. yeah... then i turned in left and the first thing i saw was this drum set.. haha yeah.

so i was just sitting around with jaslyn... listening to music, watching the zombies and chatting. then just walked around and yeah was watching pf and zong play with ena's kitten.. hmm she has 6 rabbits and a kitten (it's a stray cat) so yeah... the kitty scratched me =.= yeah then played the drums.. haha super fun.. learned a little drums haha.

after rehearsals... went to jam with jaslyn, savie, jac, zongling, melissa and li jin. it was pretty cool... yeah then jaslyn lent me her electric guitar and her book... i was sitting there learning the chords... please understand, i cant play the guitar. so yeah... learnt the major chords from C to B... yeah...

haha ah well... i shall continue tomorrow =.=

[it rained.]

let's just say i was pretty happy this morning. cause it rained this morning when i was going to school.. haha you do know how i have been waiting for the rain right? i just like the sound of the rain... so yeah :)

watched deathnote with edmund, jinwei, zul and this other sas guy they all call KS... hmm kian seng i believe... anyway yeah. it rocked lar!!! and like what jinwei said on his blog, the guy who acted as L is really good. yeah.. haha the whole plot was really good. which means the anime and manga are just as good too. yeah light yagami... despite being the bad guy killing everyone, he's still cool. and yeah i dont want him to get caught just yet. L is cool too.. haha two geniuses... gosh

yeah haha the stupid ettiquette course is super crappy omg. slept for the entire morning...

gotta be at orchard at 7am tomorrow!!! haha super early right.. on a normal school day, i'm still tieing my hair up at 7am lar!!!!! RAHHH

anyway deathnote is a must watch man. it's good. it's a trilogy... so deathnote 2:the last name will be released in japan next month, the 3rd but according to chrys, it'll only be in singapore next year march rah.

[forum.]

haze bad. no clouds in the sky...

yeah the haze looks really bad. psi currently 86. it was 127 yesterday.... crazy lar...

hahaha watched like 11 episodes of ouran today. shuang. haha honey-senpai is really cool... haha his family is cool. hikaru and kaoru are super funny haha.

i slept 13 hours lar! slept at 2am last night and woke up at 3pm, exactly 3pm. thats the annoying part lar... and i'm still a little tired now. maybe cause i slept for way too long.

results. crap. total crap. even though i got an A2 for emath... my mid years will def pull me down. cause i got 50% for mid years... well looking on the bright side, i jumped from a C6 to an A2 right?

english C6. physics/chem B4 so far... i havent gotten my chem paper back yet. ss/hist, C6.

yeah sucks right?

chinese o levels in a few months....

haha you can say i'm mad but i felt like studying yesterday....

my cca records are super rah. whole FRS segment gone lar!!!! so gerri filled in for me

roboticssg forum looks a bit stale now.... but yeah it is a good place to read. haha smart team yahoo group also dead.. last person to post a message was dom... and i was the only one who uploaded photos... well i uploaded the regional photos... but not the finals yet... if i remember, i will upload.

omg lar... i have over 400 unread messages in my yahoo inbox. all from unknown people. and yahoo mail has the new beta version.. so it's more convenient to delete messages. just gotta hold the shift key and the down key haha.

ah well.. since i cant sleep. haha time for kh2 :) bye and good night. i know this place is getting more and more boring... cause i gotta admit... i've been in a rather lousy mood... so yeah well, bye and good night!

[kingdom hearts II.]

her words are stuck in my mind. i can never seem to forget her words. the words that left me thinking if i did the right thing. you know what? up to now, i still think i did the wrong thing. over and over again.

finally started on kh2.

i wished it rained.

i just remembered what someone said to me... she said we always end up hurting the ones we love although we tried hard not to. and we usually end up hurting the ones we love the most.

run.

fly.

stop.

fall.

climb.

walk.

it's a mess.

[undisclosed.]

i shall try not assume then haha. sorry... it just seems odd and a little suspicious.

friday the 13th.

briefing today. nxt rocks. yeah it so does.

and everything seemed weird. really.

i feel awkward. maybe i still do a little right at this moment.

stop.

[another tag.]

tagged by priscilla.

name 24 people at the top of your head now.

1. Edmund
2. Lester
3. Ben
4. Savina
5. Magdalene
6. Dominic
7. Matilda
8. Elizabeth
9. Jesmine
10. Li Juin
11. Chrystal
12. Zong Ling
13. Geraldine
14. Jin Wei
15. Stefhani
16. Velda
17. Zhen Xiao
18. Li Jin
19. Darren
20. Denise
21. Zul
22. Jacqueline
23. Debby
24. Melissa


now for the questions.


1. is 9 single [Jesmine]?
yeah... and she needs to get someone so that she can stop blackmailing me!

2.would u date 20 [Denise]?
haha how to? she's my lao gong leh!

3.is 17 [Zhen Xiao] a guy or girl?
a guy.

4.has 15 [Stefhani] and 2 [Lester] ever dated?
hmmmmmmmm.......... HMMMMMMMMM.......... HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.... nope.

5. are you older/younger than 3 [Ben]? exactly how many months and years?
younger. by 9 months and 21 days.

6. have you ever seen 7 [Matilda] naked?
no lar. what a weird question.

7. where does 19 [Darren]live?
he has two places... hwa chong institution hostel and his own home (in the east, like pasir ris)

8. when was the last time you saw 12 [Zong Ling]?
monday, last day of exams.

9. ever watched a movie with 5 [Magdalene]?
yeah.

10. how tall is 23 [Debby]?
haha taller than me lor.

11. do you love 16 [Velda]?
haha well, she's my dear sec 2 junior. is that enough? haha

12. do you go to the same school as 14 [Jin Wei]?
nope... i don't.

13. have u ever had classes with 11 [Chrystal]?
yeah. every single day. we sit together at amath, emath, ss and history

14. where was 21 [Zul] born?
singapore.

15. have you ever hugged 18 [Li Jin]?
yeah. we're classmates :)

16. what is 8's [Elizabeth] middle name?
oh this i definitely know... it's marion :)

17. is 13 [Geraldine] a nice person?
define nice. haha she can be lar... she can be very gentle at times.. but thats if you know her well enough.

18. would u rather 1 [Edmund] die, or you die?
of course me lar!!! who would want their kor(he'e the best kor in the world) to die????

19. is 4 [Savina] older than u?
yeah.

20. would u kiss 24 [Melissa]?
haha no.

21. have u ever swum with 16 [Velda]?
nope.. supposed to last year... but she refused to swim, so she sat around.

22. when is 10's [Li Juin] birthday?
somewhere in february!!! sorry i forgot... after knowing you so long.


23. have u ever been to a party with 19 [Darren] or 17 [Zhen Xiao]?
both no.

24. are 22 [Jacqueline] and 24 [Melissa] good friends?
yeah they sit together. and they hang out together.

25. will 3 [Ben] and 7 [Matilda] make a good couple?
hmmm i dont think they even know each other despite going to the same church cause they will never meet each other. however... i wonder....

26. has 15 [Stefhani] ever given u a birthday present?
yeah... this year.. a wallet. the one i'm currently using.

27. how long have u known 13 [Geraldine]?
3 years.

28. if 5 [Magdalene] and 19 [Darren] were drowning, who would u save?
wth? one's my papa, one's my equalite. haha i'll be superwoman and save them both lar.

29. will 2 [Lester] be willing to kiss 6 [Dominic]?
omg no. they're best friends but hell no.

30. I pass this on to 1,5,11,14,23 [Edmund, Magdalene, Chrystal, Jin Wei, Debby]
sorry people...

[bowling + pool.]

haha it was a fun day!

went to bowl with edmund and ben today. they are PROS! rah. and i'm extra clumsy today.

i only had 1 stirke and they both had at least 3 stirkes each. RAH. haha

yeah well we were waiting for bus 400 and we saw this BIG group of CJC students and they were prolly looking at edmund too cause he was still in his school uniform haha.

haha finally tried house of the dead 4 together. was playing with ben. wah lau the zombies were overpopulating lar.

haha then the whole game slowed down cause i was teaching edmund how to fold a crane and ben wanted to learn too. haha yeah it was rather amusing watching ben learn how to fold cranes... he keeps forgetting the head.. hmm but i guess it was pretty okay for a first time. edmund picked up fast.

we spent like 30 mins walking and walking............... and then waiting at the busstop for bus 400... yeah not knowing where we were even heading

yeah they're the much better than me at pool too! yeah.. haha!

it was a fun day lar... haha yeah...

and people.... answers to the tag.... =.=

the fakes are.... 4,7,10,12,18

hahahaha the fakes...

4 - maple is super boring and i dont like playing maple...
7 - i'm only 166cm. well not only. pretty tall for a girl.. haha
10 - haha i never did. thats way obvious
12 - haha i was always late in P2
18 - i write with a blue pilot hi-tecpoint VR5

the truths

1 - i DO have a secret diary which i do WRITE in
2 - yeah i have been folding cranes for the past few years...
3 - yeah hahahaha omg ask shawn and jianeng
5 - yeah always find me doing something
6 - haha yeah there's cable haha
8 - yeah back in P3 from the canteen's ice-lemon tea
9 - yeah haha i file my work now, start believing haha
11 - yeah it's true i havent... haha slow lar..
13 - yeah i have the best kor in the world!!!
14 - haha yeah i unintentionally killed it. just that i caught it in my room and it died in the box i kept it in after 24 hours. i left it in my room for almost a month. i just threw it away last night... cause i was packing my room.
15 - haha yeah if you read my blog everyday, yeah i did sprain my neck playing soccer this year.
16 - haha yeah i have 4 god bros and 1 biological bro
17 - yeah i do... started reading it since P6
19 - yeah i did for a few months
20 - yeah jiaying called me Nana in front of my classmates, then thats when everyone called me nana.

haha yeah there you have it. answers with reasons haha.

went to lan with ben and edmund yest. hahahahahahahhahaha we played bf2! haha it was damn fun! haha then we played dota and nfsmw. haha super fun lar...

haha yeah happy to say exams are finally over. thats why i could game yest. omg lar.. so shuang! haha!

[tagged.]

i have been tagged! =D by edmund haha.

One. Think of 15 short bits of interesting stuff about yourself. And they;ve gotta be true.
Two. Come up with 5 false statements regarding yourself, but for fun's sake keep them in the threshold of believability.
Three. Jumble them all up together and list them in any order.
Four. Post them and let people guess which the five false ones are!
Five. Get 5 others to do the same.

1. I have a secret diary where I WRITE in.
2. I like to fold cranes.
3. I sometimes mumble in my sleep.
4. I like to play maple story.
5. I'm always up to something.
6. I kinda like sleeping out in the living room.
7. I'm 174cm.
8. I had food-poisoning and couldn't attend school for almost a week.
9. I file my work.
10. I work at Macs.
11. I haven't finished reading Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince.
12. I was never late for school in my entire life... so guai right?
13. I have the best kor in the world.
14. I have a dead spider in the room.
15. I sprained my neck playing soccer before.
16. I have 5 brothers
17. I have a collection of Charmed books.
18. I write with a black pen.
19. I used to play the organ.
20. I first had the nickname Nana in P5.

the 5 people who need to do this: mag, debby, priscilla, darren, chrystal

happy guessing people :)

[the haze. the moon. the candles.]

mid autumn festival today.

was playing with candles with my lil cousin. yeah i was BURNING all the candles after lighting them. lijuin said it was boring to always play with candles every year so yeah i ended up playing with them alone. not to mention some other people doing the same on the other side of the block. then my mum brought back this lantern for me and well the candle in it keeps dying out so i gave up on it soon after. haha it was a fish. i took photos of the candles but i'm too lazy to upload them now haha =P oh and my mum bought ice cream mooncake from swensens. wah lau, SWENSENS. ex sia.

chem was RAH man. i studied redox like hell and nothing for redox came out lar... oxidation and reduction as well... just 2 super duper easy questions in section B and one in section C. i think quite a few of the questions were from the periodic table chapter.

haha geog... whoa thanks to mr tan's tips, i only studied what he said was impt and i didnt miss out a single questions... just that one of the questions, ESSAY questions required me to draw WELL-ANOTED diagrams of breakwaters and groynes. well that was 10 marks. lemme repeat! 10! and well i forgot what groynes do man. my mind went gooey when i was trying to hard to think... guess there goes 5 marks... i would say the paper was still manageable.

a few weird things during the exam. i was sitting next to zong and savie was sitting diagonally in front of zong. right in the middle of the exam, i seriously went "rah!" softly and zong turned her head to look at me. i guess i already "threw" my pen on the table and was like rah-ing away lar.. and she caught me stoning in fron tof the paper. then haha zong was actually talking to herself during the exam. haha yeah. jac thought mrs tay was a chinese teacher. mrs tay is a science teacher whose mother language when she was a student is malay. she speaks very cheena-ish and looks cheena anyway. so yeah jac spoke to her in chinese. haha it was the best lar! we didnt tell her until after the exam and she was rather embarrassed. haha but it was nonetheless, the biggest joke of the day. khym collected the wrong papers (she collected both my compulsory and optional questions and haha confused jac and i when we couldnt find my optional questions) haha.

there you go... another TWO BIG STEPS to the end of examinations

26/9 - english
2/10 - chinese paper 1 and social studies
3/10 - history
4/10 - emath
5/10 - physics
6/10 - geography and chemistry
9/10 - amath and chinese paper 2

oh man looking at the list makes me happy. exams are gonna be over. RAHHHHHHHHH. and haha left with that one and a half step. woohoo!

the haze was pretty bad today... i'm prolly the 1 384 983th person who told you that. haha but dont know whats wrong man... too many people burning stuff(leaves esp) and lighting candles? hmm maybe? haha dont know man. the moon was really nice today, has a nice colour for a change, the haze was scary.

omg lar.. my bro's stuff is stinking up the room lar. i just cut garlic and left it in the room, hoping for the smell to go off soon. i feel like moving out to the living room to sleep tonight.

i think i'll go sleep now. i'm pretty tired man.

[street racing.]

rah physics RAH.

the physics paper... easy questions are super easy. difficult questions are really difficult. but it was still manageable i guess... i answered every question =)

i dled the Final Fantasy VII Advent Children OST. haha rocks man.

my computer ran out of space =.= i dont wanna delete all my anime and movies =P

26/9 - english
2/10 - chinese paper 1 and social studies
3/10 - history
4/10 - emath
5/10 - physics
6/10 - geography and chemistry
9/10 - amath and chinese paper 2

haha chem and geog tomorrow..... two BIG steps to end of examinations... then after that... i just have one and a half steps left. amath and chinese paper 2. gonna practice like mad during the weekend.

chem and geog... haha if you wanna know how it's going. haha pretty bad i guess... so i dont think i'll be sleeping really early tonight. geog paper then chem paper tomorrow. can die. why cant we have physics and geog on the same day? but then that would mean chem and lit for those who take lit. oh man. it's either phy/lit or geog/chem then...

huda was really sweet... she sent a message to all the geog people. like reminding us what the important pages we need to study for the geog exam tomorrow. haha she's a really great geog rep. haha i love her man.

i had a nap. again. this time no nightmares... i dreamt of street racing. haha madness. and i was literally hugging my phy/chem tys key points when i was sleeping... for that 3 and a half hours. i can label myself a slacker man. yeah i know it's not gonna work like that (hugging the book and sleeping, hoping to be able to absorb some knowledge). it would take a miracle... haha

last night, i had a nightmare, but got up once i saw the scary face. then i was a bit shaken for a while... the image somehow stayed in my head for quite a while before i could safely fall asleep. well you do know how bad i am with horror film and scary stuff, so yeah... i was constantly playing the same song over and over again so that it would sound like a lullaby and i would go to sleep... it didnt really work... i was awake till like 2.30am before i finall fell asleep. and i was constantly sneezing. when i got up to blow my nose or something, my whole body ached and stuff. haiyoh, i dont know what happened man. but i'm pretty okay now...

i shall try my best tonight then. sigh just jiayou for another few more days :)

all the best =)

[ANOTHER step closer.]

emath was okay today =) it was rather easy. haha was stuck at two questions, but still tried my best trying to complete it so yeah, yayness...

i fell asleep studying geography earlier on, and had a nightmare =( omg lar this time i was bleeding in the nightmare. and i was scolded(accused). oh my gosh, thank goodness my mum woke me up to have my dinner or else i'll still be stuck in there. but yeah it was one of those dreams that were way too realistic and i was kind of in shock after i woke up.

i keep having nightmares lately T_T dangness... maybe it's really the exam stress man... haha i cant remember when was the last exam i actually had nightmares. i havent had nightmares like these for a long time i guess. haha...

rah

26/9 - english
2/10 - chinese paper 1 and social studies
3/10 - history
4/10 - emath
5/10 - physics
6/10 - geography and chemistry
9/10 - amath and chinese paper 2

hahahaha ANOTHER step closer.... 5 papers left..... by friday, there'll only be two papers left.... hang on bah. haha to all those having their exams as well, let's jiayou and hang on till the end!

[HAHA crabs.]

was out with edmund and ben today. ben is an idiot. haha. yeah it was fun crapping with them. omg. the haha crabs are damn big lar.... compared to the last time i saw them. i like edmund's mp4 player.... haha damn cool!

couldnt really finish the history paper. it was almost like yest's ss paper. squeeze my main points like crazy.

ANOTHER step closer to the end of my examinations. omg. emath tomorrow.............. HMM...

i'm gonna chiong tonight =)

today was a slacky day but still fun. bowling next tuesday. time to watch the PRO play. thats not me.

rah study.

[nightmares.]

ss - screwed
chinese - also screwed.

haha omg lar chinese paper 1 was a killer. serious.... okay i finished the paper early, like 25 mins earlier... i had a short 10 mins sleep before i started part 2 because my brain was seriously dead after writing one letter. so yeah, after i wrote the second essay, i went to sleep. i kept having nightmares.... it's like you fall asleep after you finish your paper, you wake up, your phone rings? yeah i "woke up". i "woke up" to find my phone ringing and my bluetooth headset stuck in my ear, plus i was in the exact same seat and the exact same exam room. then nvm, i forced myself to really wake up and i did... i was like rahhhhh then went back to sleep haha. this time i "woke up" finding mr fernandez standing in front me (well, i guess thats inevitable since i'm index no.1, and i have been taking the front seat for the 9th year)... he was the previous invigilator so why was he suddenly back to invigilate again? then he started dumping math papers on all of our tables... some were our marked homework and some were other schools' testpapers. omg lar... it was horrible. then i once again forced myself to wake up and i did. when i woke up, YES! my table was empty with just my tissue paper, ziplock bag of stationery and exam scripts. geeee... that was two out of i dont know how many.... i had too many i couldnt remember... and each time i get up, only 5 mins passed. horrifying lar. having the same nightmare in the exam room over and over again.

i dont know if it's the exam stress or what lar. dont think i'm feeling it, but i'm experiencing it. just during recess, i just had recess and was haivng stomachaches. like wth? i felt nausea, then my head was throbbing. rah headaches. was having them as well during the exam that kinda knocked me out for a while. haha not that serious... but yeah i fell asleep during the ss exam and i only had 1 hr left... managed to squeeze in my points, but i summarized big time lar. tried to squeeze in the main points for the structured essay questions... yeah at least the main points went in. i managed to write to full essays, thank goodness. i think i should start doing something about the headache... and i dont think it's the exam stress right? yeah a bit of pressure for me wont hurt but wth, not to that extent right??

so anyway, i shall just do my best for tomorrow's history exam. i have this strong gut feeling chapters 4 and 5 (both WWII) will be out tomorrow... and yeah i kinda like those two chapters.

my place is a mess. all the books and notes. rah.

history tomorrow, late paper, yay. haha.

omg chem and geog on the same day.

why cant physics and chem be on the same day??????

thank goodness emath is alone and happy.

haiyah! cause i take history, i have exams everyday =.= not so lucky like yq and jac, who happens to be taking sub lit, so they dont have to go to school tomorrow. haha.

ouran is good anime. can seem a little gay, but it's hilarious at the same time. the 1st episode is enough to make you rofl. haha... i'm only at episode 2 T_T

bleach???? when's the next episode??? haha i hvnt been catching up on the manga either... no time. njrc, exams...

should i go for robofest? or fll? maybe i shant go for fll... wonder if it's okay for me to go for robofest haha.

argh gastric again... my eyes are weary from all that yawning and tearing during ss... haha everytime you yawn, you tend to tear, yeah that happened way to many times... haha i was not crying during the exam. in fact i have never done that. and i just recalled this story jinwei once told me about this guy who sits behind him at every examination haha. scary...

haha i guess i'm pretty okay today besides the fact that i did screw up this morning... but not gonna brood over it already, IT'S OVER. im looking on the bright side... one step closer to the end of my examinations.. RAH! haha

shall stop here.... i'm gonna read my history textbook and start to hate hitler for going back on his words time and time again haha. joking. but yeah he's being a total idiot by doing that man.