[love me again and again and again.]

that 3-day weekend probably felt like forever. or maybe not.

watched another 8 episodes of csi this weekend and it starts to freak me out when people start to get abused and worst, murdered. there was one particular episode where the teenage daughter killed her parents and her two brothers. basically the entire family except herself and her sister. lets see... why did she do it? thats because her dad molested and raped her when she was a child. mind you, she's a teenager now, probably 17 or 18. so she had a child at 13 and you can guess who the dad is. yeah her dad. and guess what? her mum knew about it but didnt do anything about it! so what happens? that teenage daughter's daughter was also assaulted by her dad. okay, so the teenage daughter's name is tina and her daughter (sister) is brenda. so tina told her bf to kill her entire family because she wanted to protect brenda. now... why did she kill her two brothers? because she said they failed to protect her then. tragic isn't it? there was one thing that shocked me, not only the police. it was something she said. she said this, in tears. 'i was 13. no one realised why my clothes were getting bigger and bigger'. seriously, it was a tragic story.

another episode was a story on the plane from atlanta to las vegas. first class. the sound of it from atlanta spooks me. but anyway, this guy kinda pissed everyone off on the plane and because he was suffering from some undiagnosed disease. something with the swelling of the head, he went out of his mind. he starting knocking on the cockpit door, but it didnt open so he went for the door. the door of the plane, also known as the exit and entrance. once its open, you'll see people flying out into the sky through that door. so the other 9 passengers were all freaking out. 5 went forward to pull him and trampled on him. their main purpose was to pin him to the floor so that he was stop putting everyone's life at risk. after all, being in that kinda situation, they were vulnerable. so step step step, and he died. all the other passengers refused to tell the true story, or rather what happened, except this almost blind man, with the degree of 20/200. he told them what he heard. lots of screams and suddenly silence. just silence. so silent you would hear a pin fall. after the csi found out who were the 5 people, guess what? they didnt arrest them. because they couldnt find enough evidence to charge them with murder. sense that injustice?

so finally that group of csi were debating if it was right to kill that man. nick, warrick and catherine said they would without thinking because their lives and catherine's daughter's life would be at risk. sarah said she wouldn't no matter what. and finally grissom said 'i can't answer that question of whether it was right or not but it could be prevented... if only one person had bothered to ask him if he was okay. it wouldn't have happened. it took 5 people to kill him, but it would only take that one person to prevent it from happening at all if someone just cared for him and made sure he was okay.' thats because everyone on the plane didnt know there was something wrong and everyone looked at him as a jerk.

so.... does it make a lot of sense? it only needed one particular person to save the guy and the rest of the people and their conscience but it took 5 times the number of people to kill that guy. why? because human beings only think about themselves? complacent? yeah that particular episode sure did opened my eyes wide enough. although it's fiction, it reflects a lot. but then again, what would you do if you were placed in that situation? you're in a first class plane with 9 other people and out of that 9, a guy starts going bersek and violent and attempts to open the door, killing everyone in that plane. what would you do?

haha thats a lot to talk about one particular tv programme.

they should be on their way back now... i think...

ss exam and chinese paper 1 tomorrow and then the rest after that. dont wanna think about the rest but yeah. i hope i get that job! haha maybe my chances of getting it is hmmmm.... 60%... its just a maybe? but i'm doing it out of interest. anyway study well! good luck! ciao

[they won =)]

watched 5 episodes of csi season 1 and i've come to realised so much more.

well in the 5th episode, this guy killed his friend when they were both under the influence of drugs and stuff. both of them were hallucinating and yeah he ended up suffocating his best friend and thus, killing him. quite sad though. and he was just so shocked to know and what he said was just kinda inspiring.. well, if human beings were selfless, i wonder what would happen.

i just heard the atlanta team won the champion alliance! haha very happy and relieved since i heard about the autonomous last night.

today is the 29th. the 29th of april. well, its nothing special, i just seem to think of it as a day of many events. maybe too much of csi just made me all whacked and my head starts to spin.

the whole final fantasy thing starts after i watched the 1000 words video. and i spread the video to amelia, gerri, matilda and mag. well, mag said the words didnt go with the mouth. gerri said the same. amelia said the graphics were superb, so did matilda. matilda said they had good expressions but their movements were too stiff. well, i only know that the computer graphics (cg) were good and yeah, they portrayed their emotions through their expressions really well.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=MKkzYlX-Owo&search=final%20fantasy%20X%201000%20words

feel like going on a shopping spree for games after the exams. haha, not as if i had the money but i feel so deprived now. haha

[where are you now?]

yay! i'm talking to gina online now... they just got to atlanta. missed their flight to atlanta but joined dom and the rest on the second flight. lucky...

they're working on the robot now... and they have three days until the competition. hope they don't wear out before the game. its gonna be against 49 teams! a few times more difficult than it was in delaware. well, don't give up!

just got home from english exam. seriously, the compo titles were boring, so were the compre passages. the compre was all about history. hitler, then WWII.

had ice blended grape for the very first time today. still sipping from it. its sweet and nice.yiqi introduced it to me today after school.

talking to gina and shihui now... i miss them! ahhh... haha ah well

was just looking through some final fantasy stuff when i suddenly felt the urge to listen to the ffx theme. but i couldnt find it anywhere!!! maybe it was deleted even before i transferred it to this com... so yeah...

Final Fantasy - To Zanarkand

it's really nice. and gina's gone... sleeping... its like 12.50am there.... and they just got there an hour ago.

either my blog is too big or blogger seriously have some problems. i updated this blog yest, and the entry is still not published. well, this blog is 2 years old. well i'm sure xiaxue's blog is much older... right?

[unwritten]

if you have been to mag's blog, you probably think it was pikachu. that is, if you read her tagboard. haha i think, THINK, i know who it is. HAHA its quite hilarious though...

they left this morning. and i didnt answer the call!!!! i was just demoralised for the entire day. seriously... i was so darn sad today i seemed so unusual. dom called at 2am yest and gina joined in the conversation like an hour later. then they made me go to bed. so i said i would sleep for like an hour but waddya know? even with three alarms (including gina's call) i was still unable to open my eyes and answer the phone. i didnt even hear it! damn. so i awoke at 6.50am and was just so pissed with myself and was just damn damn damn sad. demoralised for the ENTIRE day. really wanted to puch myself man!

since the flight was around 6.30am this morning, i guess they reached tokyo at about 2.30pm or so unless they couldnt find the gate and delayed everyone. if the flight was not delayed this time for like 8 hours, they would be in america in 11-12 hours. so that means they're definitely still on their way to america from japan, but are almost there. couple of hours to go. they would be in america by 2-3am then the flight from wherever they're arriving from japan to atlanta, maybe an hour, 2 hours at most? and they will finally arrive in atlanta at 5-6am. well, it takes about a day to get there. so gina must must must sms me when she gets there... she said she would... but she'll probably be too tired... since they'll be there at 5-6am (sgt) it would be 4-5pm at atlanta. haha i'm so glad my phone has that special clock with practically every country's time and stuff so yeah... but i dont think i'll be able to see them online that often.... they would be, when i'm in school at 12pm. sheesh. dont know if gina will email me a few hours after she's there. ah well, dont blame her if she cant.

how was my day? other than it being demoralising, it was just as boring without anything else going on. hmmmmm, i played warcraft today? yeah i did and its the best method to forget everything else, especially everything that just troubles me. i hope i'm not immune to it soon.

ever since that exam thing that happened, i have been trying so hard to keep her outta my sight. because as long as she knows my presence, there's more to say and they're probably untrue for all i care. sheesh. can you imagine? i have another year before i graduate.... why do i seem so eager to graduate???? oh my gosh...

english exam tomorrow and wish me all the best. just hope i make it through. since i'm weird, i will write weird stuff and thus, weird grades. haha okay no such things as weird grades, but yeah hope i don't write anything weird.

ah well shall go sleep now bye! and all the best for the exams!

[atlanta.]

the smart team is gonna fly off in a few hours! ahhh gonna miss them. and hope they do well there, but more importantly, they have lots of fun and have a safe trip. gina, dom ans shihui are... sick! well, i hope the rest arent... but yeah.

although i'm not flying this time, but it was a lot of fun fooling around with the other three, namely dom, tx and en chou. on sat night, they (the three of them) had a war in the it lab. throwing those racquet balls at each other. bleagh. see what happens when you work late at night and you lose your sanity? haha joking.... but yeah that was that. haha. it was fun working with them though.

after spending an hour on the class blog, it was finally up and operational. so yeah, go to the 3/8 blog if you can... yeah and read the stuff mostly zong and i post. whee

ahhh so late liao but i dare not sleep. because i dont wanna miss it when the call comes at 5am. yes, around 5am. its quite saddening... i wanna go see them off, so i made gina call me at 5am later. i'm supposed to be sleeping so when she calls, i ANSWER the call. but i'm just afraid i wont even get to answer the call. then i'll be damn damn damn sad. but she said she'll sms me when she gets there. haha how thoughtful... i want an email everyday too! haha joking... but yeah... i want an email too!

argh.... i'm gonna miss them like hell after they leave. haha it's gonna be boring for the next ten days, and with the exams, life cannot get anymore boring. well, hope i survive the next 10 days! haha

ah well, shall stop here then... good night and bye!

[apology]

pe was hell today, although it could be considered as one of the slackiest lessons. because i was sick and just didnt ask her for a scale down, woah! 2 more rounds. haha. probably due to my lack of sleep and my recent flu, it has been quite terrible.

do i really seem that petty? haha i dont know. i seriously dont know how others deem me as they do. i get funny thoughts in my head about how annoying i can actualle be. but as you can see, i try not to care.

----------------------

sometimes, its even worse apologizing not knowing what you did in the first place. well i don't know. i just find it hard to comprehend what 'you' said. why it probably took 'you' so long, as long as a few years to realise it, or 'you' didnt know 'you' were at least a yr late? i'm just starting to wonder if you meant what 'you' said. but i'm trying not to ponder.

i'm quite sick and tired of whatever that has been happening. for some reason, i'm just stressed. it's sudden. it's probably due to what has been happening lately and all. sigh. i've lost the motivation for almost anything. and its when i need it the most. gee.

and here comes the angelin part. haha. since she was telling me she hoped to read something about her here... okay.. angie, shes loves hugs. at the start of the school year, i would always expect a 'briana-jie-jie, can i have a hug?' from angelin, and yes, i would give her a hug. although she wants a hug from gerri everyday too, gerri just refuses to give it to her haha. until there was once when angelin made gerri owe her a hug for a piece of graph paper. haha. gerri never returned that hug to her for at least a week, until she finally did, no idea why but yeah, anie is kinda cute when she's like that, gives you the idea of a kid, who just likes to hug people. haha i hope that's long enough :)

[disappointed. knocked out]

i've finally cooled down after what happened. well, maybe i have. but it's just rude thinking about it.

exams next week. and they're flying off next week too. all of us will need all the luck we can have yeah?

a bit stuck now. either i've forgotten how it was like or i'm just emotionless. i dont even know what the heck is wrong with me. if you want to know how i fee now, i can't really be too sure. it's just confusing trying to explain.

this is definitely something worth not resting in peace if i ever died. its so incomplete and in fragments. so am i. thats why i cant piece myself together now, and be myself once again. has what they said really affected me that much? i wonder... i'm not that sure if i really managed to absorb whatever that happened lately. yeah... maybe i'm not even sure what happened. but just living each day. without a purpose. i feel tired all of a sudden.

i want to sleep. i want to sleep so badly. i miss that feeling of not bothering about anything but just living in my dreams.

runaway this time without you

---------------------------

Straightjacket Feeling - The All-American Rejects

Back me down from backing up
Hold your breath now it's stacking up
Etched with marks, but I can deal
And you're the problem and you can't feel
Try this on, straightjacket feeling
so maybe I won't be alone
Take back now, my life you're stealing

Yesterday was hell
But today I'm fine without you
Run away this time without you
And all I ever thought you'd be
That face is tearing holes in me again

Trust you is just one defense
off a list of others, you don't make sense
Beg me time and time again
to take you back now, but you can't win
Take back now, my life you're stealing

Yesterday was hell
But today I'm fine without you
Run away this time without you
And all I ever thought you'd be
That face is tearing holes in me
but today I'm fine without you
Run away this time without you
And all the things you put me through
I'm holding on by letting go of you

And when that memory slips away
There'll be a better view from here
And only lonesome you remains
and just the thought of you I fear
it falls away

Yesterday was hell
But today I'm fine without you
Run away this time without you
And all I ever thought you'd be
That face is tearing holes in me
but today I'm fine without you
Run away this time without you
And all the things you put me through
I'm holding on by letting go of you

[falling faster]

i'm angry. annoyed.

SHE has no right to say i don't care about my exams, neither does SHE have the right to say i don't study. may i know where have i gone wrong now? is it wrong for me to not be pissed off? do i not have the right to be pissed off? its not as if i want to care. i also want to not care about it. but it's just too far.

wtf
wtf
wtf
wtf
wtf
wtf
wtf

ARGH. IT'S NOT AS IF YOU HAVE ANY SAY IN IT. JELOUSY OR NOT, IT'S JUST WRONG. I'VE BEEN SO MAD FOR TWO DAYS.

yes this has pissed me off so badly for two freaking days. SHE has an attitude we don't like. i dont think she'll get insensitivity, when she says we're being insensitive.

come to think of it, i definitely have endured for too long.

[i don't know what i can for you]

its good friday! actually, it's 1.10am now.... bleagh just watched memoirs of a geisha, again. yeah i think this is either the second or third time watching it.
bleagh.

ss is just weird. the week before, he said it was a ss quiz, then on the day itself, it's groupwork and now homework. bleagh?

i'll try to go back to who i was before. so that i dont have to go through so much now. its tiring to keep reminding myself to forget.

i was just so upset and stressed in the afternoon. but i guess after watching a few bleach episodes and crapping with a few people online, i felt much better. but i dont see the point in doing so of course. its not helping me... well it did help make me feel better. was just stressed up for no good reason. sheesh.

2.4km run tomorrow. or the day after. well, just saturday. gonna die. just hope i have the motivation on saturday to keep running and not think about it, because thinking about running when you're running is a bad idea. you'll start to get tired, and might even feel athat you cant do it. i have to find something to be on my mind when i'm running.

i thought of playing a little warcraft, but i think i'll pass tonight. shall go sleep. was intending to sleep this afternoon since i've been staying up late each night. but was too stressed to even sleep, so i'll go sleep now. thats after i blog of course.

in addition to the stress this afternoon, it was a guilty afternoon, since something went missing and savina's feeling guilty too. well, its not exactly her fault because shes been cooped up with a lot, and i mean a lot, of work. i kinda feel guilty because i havent been doing as much as her and i cant contribute in any way. i just always have this sense of insecurity, just feel as though i havent done enough to help anyone.

did anyone else know about this nightmare i had two nights ago? it was about my brother and i running from this bunch of zombies. well, we were trying to escape the zombies in the building. so had to take the lift down then the entrance. and you should know how lifts can be freaky, especially if you watch lots of those horror movies where these group of people, trying to escape the building infested with weird things, they take the lift and when the doors open on the ground floor, you see more of those freaky things. well, it happened and i was scared to death. so when we 'escaped' the building, there were even more outside! OUT IN THE SUN! oh gee, so i awoke that instant and the clock was 2.20am. i was just afraid of going back to sleep, in case i had the same dream again.

why i started talking about my nightmare was because i suddenly had a nightmare after the series of weird and whacked dreams. and trust me, none of them didnt turn out right. it was so twisted and not pleasant. i was either running from i dont know what or just going around do something i dont even know what. and then came that zombie nightmare. sheesh. i hope i'll have a peaceful night and for once in a million years, sweet dreams. haha.

there is not a single person online, besides one american friend. well, there are people online, but not online online. some away, some busy. i'm the only freak online lar. aiyah, very bored and a little lonely. no one to talk to. boohoo. haha okay lar, i'll go sleep. good night.

-------------------------

Stab My Back - The All-American Rejects

Now we're broken on the floor
She just wants me to share her
It hasn't been this way before
She just wants me to dare her

The phone rings
And she screams

Stab my back
It's better when I bleed for you
Walk on me
It never was enough to do

I can't get past her
Falling fast
It's true
It hasn't done a lot for you

And every time he held you close
Yeah, were you thinking of me
When I needed you the most
Well I hope that you're happy

The phone rings
And she screams

Stab my back
It's better when I bleed for you
Walk on me
It never was enough to do

I can't get past her
Falling fast
It's true
It's better when I bleed for you

I hope that love he gave you
Was just enough to save you
You nearly broke my heart
Just look at what you're tearing apart

Stab my back
It's better when I bleed for you
Walk on me
It never was enough to do

I can't get past her
Falling fast
It's true
It hasn't done a lot for you

It's better when I bleed for you
It never was enough to do
It hasn't done a lot for you

[my anata]

back here again after more than a week. i was just either too busy or too lazy to blog. i think more like lazy, than busy. and i feel weird blogging once again.

sick today. down with gerri's flu. haha headache and tired. then runny nose and cough. pain in chest and stomachache. ugh.

savie and i went for the vid editing session today. it was kinda fun but we werent taught anything. it was kinda fun because georgina, khym and ena were playing with the photo booth which was totally hilarious with the effects and all. then savie was getting all fed up with the titles and transitions which was really funny. haha. savie is feeling angry today... awww... actually not... she didnt seem so mad actually. we're finally done witht he video. after sitting there tugging our hair for three hours.

well the two experts from temasek poly didnt really know what they were doing... they taught us to capture the video and then when we asked them how to do certain stuff like delete the subtitles and change the position of the scrolling credits. well, because we were using the apple mac, it took us some time to adapt to it. it's not windows! neither is it adobe premiere. bleagh, just more familiar with adobe premiere. but apple computers are so damn nice and white. and cool too, but not so user-friendly. i still prefer to use windows though, but i dont mind using an apple computer with the windows software. btw, one of the experts was playing music from her BLACK ipod NANO. can you sense that prick of jealousy? fine, its an ipod nano, but it got all worse when i knew it was BLACK. oh gee. but yeah i dont think they really knew a lot about the software. but heck, we finished the video.

the ij band concert last friday was okay. gerri and i were kinda pissed because some stuff happened. we were almost late, so we had to sit RIGHT at the back and the people in front were tall and were constantly moving their big heads here and there. not to mention the murmuring in the back, ugh. then after the band concert, it was a little bad. i still feel bad about it although matilda kinda stressed it isnt my fault and all. i still think it is anyway. witnessed lots of scandalous stuff going on on friday night. haha i was so punkish that night that i looked so out with them. even matilda looked nice. she was wearing this nice top with a skirt. since she's slim, she looked very nice, and taller too. stef looked nice too, although she was still wearing that denim skirt again. mag looked nice too, wearing heels and a nice skirt. liz was in a tshirt and a pair of jeans, casual but cool. gerri was wearing this pair of nice mango pants with a pink tshirt and a nice brown mango jacket. haha me? jeans, tactics shoes, black polo shirt with the hood i bought in ny over, hoop earrings, two ponytails and the usual crumpler. i'm the thorn in the bed of roses (gerri, mag, liz, matlda, stef)

no chinese today, since weng lao shi didnt come. slacked for two whole periods. and was just spending the entire two periods chatting with jess, tessa and val. about the band concert and a little campus superstar. then amanda comes over with her homework journal asking us for names. she wants to collect a 1000 names. haha it was kinda fun thinking of names to add to her collection.

it was a lousy week last week. so much happened and i found myself so irritated and stressed to tears almost everyday. and i was so tired at the end of the day. sigh. difficult week it has been...

i hope this post kinda brings this blog back to life again. it has been hibernating for like a week and the black and white bg is probably making it seem even more dead.

sheesh, trying to catch up now, with stuff that has been happening. i wished i was hibernating just like my blog. gee... thinking about how rough my week had been is demoralising. sigh.

---------------------

Quickie:
Sometimes it's tough to really figure out what needs to be done. Give yourself time.

Overview:
Say yes to any and all invitations -- the more colorful and outre, the better. The stars promise that a lost opportunity may reappear when you least expect it -- but you have to be out there to see it.

how much time will i actually need? i think it would be much better if i get it done and over with so i dont have to worry about it all the time.

Daily Teen:
Perfect symphonies require coordination, practice and attention to detail. You've got the fact-finding, problem-sniffing, big vision to make it all happen just right. So cue the music and lights, maestro.

erm. okay.

---------------------

Where'd You Go - Fort Minor

Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you've been gone

She said somedays I feel like shit
Somedays I wanna quit and just be normal for a bit
I don't understand why you have to always be gone
I get along but your trips always feel so long
And I find myself trying to stay by the phone
Because your voice always helps me to not feel so alone
But I feel like an idiot, working my day around a call
And when I pick up I don't have much to say, so

I want you to know it's a little fucked up that
I'm stuck here waiting, at times debating
Telling you that I've had it with you and your career
Me and the rest of the family here singing

Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever that you've been gone
Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever that you've been gone
Please
Come back home

You know, the place where you used to live
Used to barbeque with burgers and ribs
Used to have a little party every halloween
with candy by the pile but now
you only stop by every once in a while
Shit
I find myself just filling my time
With anything to keep the thought of you from my mind
I'm doing fine and I plan to keep it that way
You can call me if you find that you have something to say
And I'll tell you

I want you to know it's a little fucked up that
I'm stuck here waiting, at times debating
Telling you that I've had it with you and your career
Me and the rest of the family here singing

Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you've been gone
Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you've been gone
Please Come back home

I want you to know it's a little fucked up that
I'm stuck here waiting, no longer debating
Tired of sitting and hating and making these excuses
For why you're not around, and feeling sorta useless
It seems that one thing has been true all along
You don't really know what you've got till its gone
I guess I've had it with you and your career
When you come back I won't be here and you can say

Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever that you've been gone
Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you've been gone
Please Come back home

Please Come back home

Please Come back home

Please Come back home

Please Come back home

[start of something new]

sports day seemed like another boring day. well, running in the rain would be the best thing and the most enjoyable incident ever happened.

gerri and i watched two movies today. high school musical and innocent steps. well i watched it before so yeah. she came here so early in the morning like 8am just to watch high school musical. yeah it was super fun. after sports day, stef, mag, matilda, liz and gerri came here. mag was teaching matilda and liz to play the piano with an organ. so stef, gerri and i were just watching innocent steps.

i have this ominous feeling as though something bad is about to happen. yeah i do, unfortunately.

---------------

Quickie:
A postponement is not the end of the world -- things will work out when they should.

Overview:
Oscar Wilde said the only way to get rid of temptation was to yield to it, and right now, the stars fully second that motion. Your instincts will guide you down the right path when it comes to making the right moves.

yeah i hope things do work out of course. postponement? the sports day reults? well of course it isnt the end of the world......

Daily Teen:
During the day, try to stick to your usual schedule, because consistency will be a source of comfort. Later in the evening, keep your eyes open for dangerous situations. Make sure personal safety stays at the forefront of your mind.

what kinda dangerous situation? ah well, okay.

---------------

[breaking free]

assembly was interesting today... much to my amazement... haha joking.

this guy from the raffles museum came down to talk about nature conservation and seriously, it rocked. the animals are so adorable and nature is so lovable.

finished all my homework in school. except for the research for ss and i have to prepare for the chinese oral. i will not make it through the conversation segment. i'm so gonna die.

i think i better go get a pair of glasses soon. i was squinting my eyes during physics but still get the numbers right. it was a little blur and i was having a headache throughout the day, trying to read what's on the whiteboard. i'm blind!!! yeah yeah right....

sports day tomorrow and i have no idea what i'm gonna do. after all, in my three years in ij SEC, i've only gone for sports days once. in sec 1. skipped it last year because of the british council space competition challenge announcement. well, it was quite an adventure last year.... we ended up hainging out in the exhibitions for 2 hours because we weren't told the briefing was postponed to 2 hours later. it was kinda fun though. but yeah its definitely cheering and i'll probably bring a book there to read or study there. i seem to have forgotten how sports day was like all over again.

finally succeeded in downloading high school musical. haha its nice of course. and it wouldnt be on the asian disney channel yet because i watched it on disney channel at pennsylvania so i guess i have to wait a long time before it's released on the asian disney channel. the soundtrack rocks too. yeah disney songs all rock, for some reason. well, high school is another DISNEY CHANNEL ORIGINAL MOVIE... haha. yeah disney channel original movies are not bad too. anyway this movie is great, with fab dances and songs in between.

the difference between high school musical and confessions of a teenage drama queen:

confessions of a teenage drama queen - too much drama, and unrealistic
high school musical - nice storyline and better songs. less drama, and of course, much much more realistic.

----------------------

Quickie:
Learn about your ancestors -- they led intriguing lives that offer valuable clues.

Overview:
It's time to deal with someone who's been taking advantage of you. They're in the wrong for their immature behavior, but you need to own up to your part in perpetuating it. Set things straight before it's too late.

oh i did already (dealing with someone). well, not DEALING with someone, but sorting things out i guess... taking advantage? hmmm i dont know, but i guess not. setting things straight before its too late... i'm not sure what's late now but i'm trying to set things straight.

Daily Teen:
Your family may want to talk about your progress at school today. Prepare yourself for barbed questions, and stick to succinct explanations. If you've been fulfilling your potential, you'll be able to answer any questions calmly.

haha really? i doubt so though... i'm gonna nap for another 4 hours or more, because i'm having another headache and i'm gonna take a panadol then sleep. by the time i wake up, it'll be like 10pm, 11pm or 12am.

----------------------

Breaking Free - Troy and Gabriella (High School Musical Soudtrack)

Troy:
We're soarin', flyin'
There's not a star in heaven
That we can't reach

Gabriella:
If we're trying
So we're breaking free

Troy:
You know the world can see us
In a way that's different than who we are

Gabriella:
Creating space between us
'Til we're separate hearts

Both:
But your faith it gives me strength
Strength to believe

Chorus #1
Troy:
We're breakin' free

Gabriella:
We're soarin'

Troy:
Flyin'

Both:
There's not a star in heaven
That we can't reach

Troy:
If we're trying

Both:
Yeah, we're breaking free

Troy:
Oh, we're breakin' free

Gabriella:
Ohhhh

Troy:
Can you feel it building
Like a wave the ocean just can't control

Gabriella:
Connected by a feeling
Ohhh, in our very souls

Both:
Rising 'til it lifts us up
So every one can see

Chorus #2
Troy:
We're breakin' free

Gabriella:
We're soarin'

Troy:
Flyin'

Both:
There's not a star in heaven
That we can't reach

Troy:
If we're trying
Yeah we're breaking free

Gabriella:
Ohhhh runnin'

Troy:
Climbin'
To get to that place

Both:
To be all that we can be

Troy:
Now's the time

Both:
So we're breaking free

Troy:
We're breaking free

Gabriella:
Ohhh, yeah

Troy:
More than hope
More than faith

Gabriella:
This is true
This is fate
And together

Both:
We see it comin'

Troy:
More than you
More than me

Gabriella:
Not a want, but a need

Both:
Both of us breakin' free

Chorus #3
Gabriella:
Soarin'

Troy:
Flyin'

Both:
There's not a star in heaven
That we can't reach
If we're trying

Troy:
Yeah we're breaking free

Gabriella:
Breaking free
We're runnin'

Troy:
Ohhhh, climbin'

Both:
To get to the place
To be all that we can be
Now's the time

Troy:
Now's the time

Gabriella:
So we're breaking free

Troy:
Ohhh, we're breaking free

Gabriella:
Ohhhh

Both:
You know the world can see us
In a way that's different than who we are

[maple]

what a sleepy weekend

on friday night, i was up till 3am. then getting up at 8am to go to pearl's place and even slept for 45 mins on that comfortable bean bag in her room at the end of the day. came home at 4pm and had a longer sleep all the way to 10.30pm. stayed up till 3am again and woke up at 11.30am on a sunday morning. slacking and doing my work (contradicting?) all the way till 5.30pm and i had another nap for an hour. and went to bed at 3.30am. wow i wonder how many hours i've slept... lets just say 19?

monday was just dull. with ij superstar tickets trying to be sold and preparations in the afternoon for the next day, i think it should be okay tomorrow... i'm not that involved but yeah could kinda tell.

had another nap and yes i just awoke from that sleepy evening. wow, for four hours i have laid there listening to the same song over and over again without getting sick of it. and guess what i have absolutely nothing to do now since i finished my homework before i even took a nap.

ms shanthi was talking to us about our 99 gold coins during cme. guess shes just totally right. and her story of the welfare kids was far too traumatizing i think. it's probably hard to imagine what actully happened to them, maybe not. but i've been harping on the 99 gold coins thing and i dont know what's gotten into me.

exams approaching and i pray i'll make it through. i suddenly find it too difficult. not that i always thought it was easy, but it just seems a thousand times more difficult now. and can i say i've been trying hard enough? it matters, from the looks of it, probably not. from deep within me, i'm already tired. i dont know maybe time has been passing too quickly for me to catch up the the final year exams last year felt like last week. i'm still haunted by the nightmare of my horrid experience with exams. bleagh

i'm looking forward to a better day then... after that four hour sleep, i guess i'm feeling better. had a headache thats why. its better now. yeap.

i havent been blogging for a few days and this is all i can recall. this shows how boring my life is.

okay... so cme was kinda okay today. with ms shanthi telling us the stories and stuff like that, i pretty much enjoyed the lesson, but i dont know why yq was bored and was falling asleep... haha it was really cute. she was sitting next to me, and suddenly i felt something, or someone tugging on my blouse, i turned and she said in a very soft tone 'very boring' and had that sleepy face as though a kid was falling asleep already... haha

i've just made my life even more boring by playing a slow song. feng by jay chou. yeah i dont know why but i just feel the urge to play it. yeah, its slow enough to be a lullaby. but its a nice song.

i've been 'shocked' by someone's decision. i'm not so sure about it. i cant confront, i cant ask, i can only stand here, watch and assume. why did i have to use ' '? maybe because i probably guessed things would go this way, but the chances of it were kinda slim. so can i still say it was 'shocking'? its up to you to decide. i have been in different dilemmas recently and i simply just dont know what i can do, should do, or doing. i'm just uncertain about 90% of everything. i guess its that bad. but what can i do for her now? i guess nothing except ask her to cheer up and dont think so much... well, it depends on whether she wants my help or not.... and besides, she's mad at me because i dont why either. almost the entire world seems to know why, except for me... and i know she kinda hates me now. not that i can anything. and i'm not a likeable person, so i should just forget about it and move on. i wondered if she ever got my message when i asked her if anything was wrong. because i was indirectly asking her why she was mad at me. after all, i've lost count of the people who have told me this 'yeah she's pissed with you. because of something you did'. i've kinda lost count.

go ahead and say i'm insensitive, because when i'm sensitive, i can get ultra sensitive. i still am, and of course, i'll try to get rid, i dont want to be crying over almost everything for no reason. it's really the damage inflicted on me that probably shaped me into the person i am now. yeah damage that was unconsciously inflicted on me. have i ever tried telling someone? yeah i did. i didnt see the point is it though, and just something amazing, that someone can brush it off like that. i guess i'm already on the brink of giving up. yeah so i shall learn to be a lil insensitive at times and just stop caring so much because i did, and i killed myself.

someone told me i shouldnt care about all that... yeah i probably shouldnt. although i said i have been in dilemmas recently, that was the period of time i have been thinking through things. maybe too much, but i suddenly had the guts to actually think about it. like what CAN happen IF i did this. but because she doesnt want to tell me anything, let's just say i'm being totally selfish and i'm not gonna care anymore? nvm... not that anything i said ever made sense. but if that she ever comes here, reads this, well, haha she probably wouldnt get it too! haha but if she did, haha i dont know what will happen. will she finally confront and finally throw whatever unhappiness at me then walk off feeling better, or she would go on saying i offended her once again because i wrote this entry? i know she's sensitive. it's just a matter or controlling your emotions well enough. yeah. if you kinda get what i mean, then i guess it's cool.

i'm too tired to thinik about it anymore... bye.

--------------------------

Quickie:
Use creativity to your advantage today. Sharp wit can turn heads and change minds.

Overview:
Now is an excellent time to cloak your reactions behind politeness. You need some time to mull over these recent developments in the privacy of your own home before you unveil your next steps.

o-kay!

Daily Teen:
All kinds of art and culture will entrance you today. It's a good day to put a lot of time into practicing an instrument or reading complicated poetry. Sustained efforts will yield small but concrete breakthroughs.

haha.

--------------------------

Photograph - Nickelback

Look at this photograph
Everytime I do it makes me laugh
How did our eyes get so red
And what the hell is on Joey's head

And this is where I grew up
I think the present owner fixed it up
I never knew we'd ever went without
The second floor is hard for sneaking out

And this is where I went to school
Most of the time had better things to do
Criminal record says I broke in twice
I must have done it half a dozen times

I wonder if It's too late
Should i go back and try to graduate
Life's better now then it was back then
If I was them I wouldn't let me in

Oh oh oh
Oh god I

Every memory of looking out the back door
I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye

Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye

Remember the old arcade
Blew every dollar that we ever made
The cops hated us hangin' out
They say somebody went and burned it down

We used to listen to the radio
And sing along with every song we know
We said someday we'd find out how it feels
To sing to more than just the steering wheel

Kim's the first girl I kissed
I was so nervous that I nearly missed
She's had a couple of kids since then
I haven't seen her since god knows when

Oh oh oh
Oh god I

Every memory of looking out the back door
I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye

Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye

I miss that town
I miss the faces
You can't erase
You can't replace it
I miss it now
I can't believe it

So hard to stay
Too hard to leave it

If I could I relive those days
I know the one thing that would never change

Every memory of looking out the back door
I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye

Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye

Look at this photograph
Everytime I do it makes me laugh
Everytime I do it makes me

[beyond your own boundaries]

clueless now. yeah have no idea what to do. confront or not to confront? that is the question. even if i do, what am i gonna say? 'oh you're been really evil' is that really all i can say? seriously, i think i should just give up. but i know i shouldnt right? or should i? i dont know if giving up would be the right thing to do. it probably is. but i dont want to lose such a good friend. sigh. am i thinking too much again?

had a nap in the evening. i did feel better. not so moody and all and after dinner, it lasted another half an hour before i was back to the solemn state. havent changed out of it till now. considering how late it is, i should be sleeping, since i have been pretty much deprived of sleep and my trips to lala land have been shortened.

its a very busy week, probably a month, or more. or just a busy year. i find myself pretty much cooped up with work and i think i should engross myself in work to forget about the indifferences someone or some people have towards me. i thought sleeping would be the best solution to me since it always worked. but even eating, bathing, and sleeping hardly works now. is it because the older i am, the more difficult it is? or i just cant get rid of that rotten feeling i've had inside for so long and even though i did try to express it, people either get it the wrong way, they dont understand or they simply dont really give a damn.

a few hours ago, i thought i found a song that would cheer me up everytime i'm feeling down. but i think i'm immune to it now, considering the fact that i was listening to it for more than an hour non stop.

yeah i know everyone gets misunderstood. to the point where they finally break down and turn into someone we dont know, or we never thought they could be. i get a very clear picture of it now. i dont know how to spill everything out at once because i was not used to it and the last time i really did, it seemed as though it was a long time ago and i've long forgotten how it was like.

[far away]

i see how each person looks at me now. i cant say much though. and i dont want to get all sensitive now. forget it. not that i can do anything about it either right?

moody now. not in the mood to talk about it. i dont know what to do. all i can do is sit back and watch or rather wait for the sky to fall.

i'm feeling terrible now...

[it could all fall down on me]

went to the national library for the first time today. with gerri, to do some research for the euthanasia report. the reference section is like wow. and photocopying was fun. yeap. it was super fun. the variety of reference books they have is like wow. we spent so much time looking through the books and all. all the cheem words was just too much for us. and the place is just super cool. gerri was so fascinated with the escalator.

then we went to bugis to just take a walk and had some ice cream. it didnt turn out as good though. then was just sipping some hot milk tea at mosburger. yeah.. why is briana relaxing so much? haha yeah, it was a pretty good afternoon i guess.

hey i know what a crumpler is okay? i only made an embarrassing mistake and mag was all hysterical this morning during recess when she saw the crumpler. sheesh.

my brain has been really drained and i cant seem to absorb anything when i study. and my mind has been wandering off during class. suddenly whatever the teacher says just goes in the right and comes out the left. dont ask me what has been on my mind. because either i dont know or i just wont tell you. sigh gotta stop wandering off and focus. exams are round the corner. focus. focus. FOCUS.

now's the time to study hard for the exams and start on the class blog. bleagh. so much to do. as tired as a dog. yeah physically. my eyelids are gonna fall over my eyes soon. haha.

going out with the equalites for dinner. and then cip on wednesday! newpaper collection. whee! it has been a while since i've done cip... yeah i miss doing cip. so gerri, mag and i are gonna go to the library to do cip. haha so fun. yeap, we intended to call the rda (riding for the disabled association) to do cip there. but we're not 16! there goes my chance of communicating with my relatives the horse there. haha i really wanna go see the horses. maybe i should make a trip to the zoo one day.

i see how much impact obsession has on someone. its scary though.

i was watching that anime i had been searching for so long last night. and seriously, it sucks. its not nice and freaky. i think some of the guys in the anime are gays, so i was totally disgusted when i watched it last night. and i'm dling csi season one now.

i found out shocking today, during geog. well maybe it isnt that shocking. it was kinda expected i guess but i dont know why i was still that surprised when khym told me. it was really hmmmm very bleagh.

dom was right. here by me by 3 doors down and photograph by nickelback is not bad. yeah.

i should go start on my work now. the quicker i get it done, i think my mind would be at ease too.

----------------------

Quickie:
Your plans need discipline to make them successful. Roll up your sleeves and dig in.

Overview:
Celestial energies put a little pizzazz in your pace, and you'll find that this extra burst of energy helps you resolve an old issue that's been plaguing you far more than it should. And it's about high time!

haha i see.

Daily Teen:
Your mind dissects problems when you're not even focused on them. If you're stuck on a difficult challenge, you can always set your work aside. When you come back, the situation will be easier.

haha really? i dont see it that way though...

----------------------

Here By Me - 3 Doors Down

I hope you're doing fine out there without me
'Cause I'm not doing so good without you
The things I thought you'd never know about me
Were the things I guess you always understood

So how could I have been so blind for all these years?
Guess I only see the truth through all this fear,
And living without you…

And everything I have in this world
And all that I'll ever be
It could all fall down around me.
Just as long as I have you,
Right here by me.

I can't take another day without you
'Cause baby, I could never make it on my own
I've been waiting so long, just to hold you
And to be back in your arms where I belong

Sorry I can't always find the words to say
But everything I've ever known gets swept away
Inside of your love…

And everything I have in this world
And all that I'll ever be
It could all fall down around me.
Just as long as I have you,
Right here by me.

As the days grow long I see
That time is standing still for me
When you're not here

Sorry I can't always find the words to say
Everything I've ever known gets swept away
Inside of your love

And everything I have in this world
And all that I'll ever be
It could all fall down around me.
Just as long as I have you,
Right here by me.

And everything I have in this world
And all that I'll ever be
It could all fall down around me.
Just as long as I have you,
Right here by me.

[sleep like no one's business]

so much happened over the week. i have been sleeping past 12, that explains why you see a zombie walking around.

it will be another homework saturday. i shall try to finish all my homework by today, even though my dumbness and laziness would make it impossible. haha. i know that i'm gonna slack like no one's business tomorrow.

the last three days have been screamy and frs is finally over. yeah and my voice just went away with frs too. no i probably sound like a croaking frog or something i havent thought of, but i def sound as though i'm struggling when i'm talking. but it paid off, ij clinched the best supporters award and the technoprenuer award. haha nemortal rocks. but i guess nemortal would been dead for another year unless we decided to make another one.

sometimes it really pays a lot to do something. yeah it does.

was feeling so vexed in the morning yest. but i guess i felt better after that.

although i did mention 'so much happened', i cant find anything to blog about. so yeah. nvm... i'm just feeling very dead now. yeah dead, thats it. bleagh... bye...

[straightjacket feeling]

i dont know how to say this but it was a simple mix today.

went to sp this morning at around 10am. well was supposed to be there at 8am but i overslept so i was there at around 10. just there to support the people participating in the zero carbon city project. well they worked hard for it. i only found out hong, christine and min su were also in the competition, under the same category. they did really well. christine's group was really funny when christine was like 'huh?' or 'oh!'. yeah in front of the judges. i left halfway, but right till the end of the day, all the roups who were in the group category won a bronze! and chrystal, being a soloist (haha weird), won a silver! yay for them! smelly and jaslyn were there. smelly walked to sp from home. according to jaslyn, its a 10-min walk from home. the thing was, she was wearing shorts and slippers! jaslyn and i were going on about how unglam of her to go to sp like this. so she was considering going home to change but we told her not to in the end. haha and we were playing with the vending machine! haha at first smelly was telling jaslyn and i about how she tried using the dial a coke thing somewhere else but it didnt work. so she tried it again. dial a coke is this thing with vending machines where you can use sms to buy a drink. just send an sms and when the vending machine receives it, will ask you to make a selection. yeah super cool. so she bought an ice lemon tea. smsed, and press the ice lemon tea button, and pop! comes out the ice lemon tea. i found it so cool so i bought milo!!! and then 100 plus for jaslyn. haha. we were just being lame! haha.

then went to shaw house after leaving sp. was walking around shaw in circles for about half an hour before i really found the place. then was just watching the people play. need for speed most wanted was the best. it was really cool just watching them play. yeap, won two calendars. gave one to dom though. haha i dont know how many calendars i've got already. but the calendar's really nice. its white and nice!

then walked around orchard road on my own for a lil while.. and munching on yakun toast for dinner. haha not that i didnt have money, but because my appetite just died. and the funny thing was, i skipped breakfast and lunch. maybe i was not in the mood.

so was just feeling down all of a sudden earlier... haha for no apparent reason. maybe because of all that happened lately.

i suddenly feel the distance widening. no more good friends. or maybe the problem really does lie with me. sigh... how am i to pick up again? sigh...

-------------

Quickie:
Shared resources aren't divided equally. Audit the situation and act accordingly.

Overview:
Your creativity is sparking in a serious way. It's a great time to put pen to paper (or clay to potter's wheel or needle to cloth -- whatever floats your boat). Your artistic endeavors will help you see a way out of a household headache, too.

dont worry i havent done anything related to art today so yeah. very safe. haha i'm just not affiliated with art, thats all. haha

-------------

Once Upon a December (Anastasia OST) - Aaliyah

Dancing bears,
Painted wings,
Things I almost remember,
And a song someone sings
Once upon a December.

Someone holds me safe and warm.
Horses prance through a silver storm.
Figures dancing gracefully
Across my memory...

Far away, long ago,
Glowing dim as an ember,
Things my heart
Used to know,
Once upon a December...

Someone holds me safe and warm.
Horses prance through a silver storm.
Figures dancing gracefully
Across my memory...

Far away, long ago,
Glowing dim as an ember,
Things my heart
Used to know,
Things it yearns to remember...

And a song
Someone sings
Once upon a December

[it ends tonight]

feeling a lil disconnected now.

i'm just having that sudden temptation to do something drastic. argh, of course i cant.

camp was fab. loved it. love 3/8. although i was getting all giddy during the rope course because of the slight fever the day before, it was all in all, fun. we jumped into the kallang river, esp where the dead bodies were found and people spit in it. yeap, it was gross and all, but it was super fun. and i was sun burnt on the neck. although it did hurt, at least i was tanned. haha yeah. its kinda amusing. how my arms and legs were tanned. when i came back, some said i was chao da, some said i still looked the same. i wanna be tanned! and i miss the instructors! haha

there are many problems around me. i dont know if i can still hold on longer, but i will still encourage myself to hang on till everything blows over, which i doubt. yeah, i'm just trying to be strong now, but doing it the bochap-ly. i dont know. just trying not to cry, trying very very hard now. although i really need to talk to someone, i cant. there is so much i really want to say, but i cant. is it because it can never be heard, because i'm insignificant like how geraldine said (she said it jokingly) or i just dont know how to spill it out. and again, i'm bottling it up. i find it very sick and just totally freaked.

--------------------------

Quickie:
These problems won't go away. You must deal with them -- the sooner the better.

Overview:
It feels like the current celestial influences are cracking down on you in an unduly heavy manner, but it's really all for the best. If you can regard these obstacles as lessons rather than hardships, the worst of it is over.

erm. okay.

--------------------------

It Ends Tonight - The All-American Rejects

Your subtleties
They strangle me
I can't explain myself at all.
And all that wants
And all that needs
All I don't want to need at all.

The walls start breathing
My minds unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.

When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight
It ends tonight.

A falling star
Least I fall alone.
I can't explain what you can't explain.
Your finding things that you didn't know
I look at you with such disdain

The walls start breathing
My minds unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight will make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.

Now I'm on my own side
It's better than being on your side
It's my fault when your blind
It's better that I see it through your eyes

All these thoughts locked inside
Now you're the first to know

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight will make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight will make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.

[how many wonders can one cavern hold?]

in just a few hours, i'll be off for sec 3 adventure camp. i'm really afraid i'll fall ill and not be able. i was having a slight fever today. okay its like 12+am already.. and i have been sleeping for three hours so that i would try to feel better. i'm having a terrible headache and a dry throat. argh. why did i have to be sick now. i dont wanna miss out on all the fun at camp.

it started off thie morning, before i went off to school. i was constantly sneezing and sneezing. so i thought 'ahhh sinus again'. brought tissue and all. then i realised i was sneezing really badly. for me, i bring a thermometer in my pencil case. well, because i'm too lazy to remove it after each thermometer check at school, so who cares, carry it with me instead. haha two years already. bleagh... i'm really lazy. so the temp was like 37.5 or slightly higher. as long as it was not 38, i was pretty much relieved.

was sleeping outside the home econs room at school. on the floor. well was waiting for mr rashid, so i was just there sitting on my own, or against the wall, and plonk i was stationary there. bleagh, at least i was not sprawled all over the floor. that would be so... weird. but i guess i'm pretty deprived of sleep. so i'll prob sleep on the bus later, if the class comm doesnt have anything for us.

have i mentioned how much i love 3/8? i love them to bits! they rock. yeah. although it has only been two months, it feels as though i've known them for about half a year, or a year already. it is amazing.

was playing warcraft earlier when i found myself falling asleep and was constantly dying because i didnt build more cannon towers to kill my spawns. so i kinda died. bleagh. warcraft rocks, i only started playing it on sunday and it was really fun.

currently listening to part of your little world from the little mermaid soundtrack. yeap, its really adorable and i love the little conversations in between

i want to be where the people are
i want to see, wanna see them dancing
walking around on those (what do you call them? oh. feet) *giggles*
flipping your fins you don't get too far
legs are required for jumping and dancing
strolling along down those (what's that word again?) ... street...
up where they walk, up where they run
up where they stay all day in the sun
wandering free
wish i could be
part of that world...

yeah the feet thing is really cute. haha.

--------------------

Quickie:
Family and work don't have to be opposites, but they need to balance each other out.

Overview:
It's time to get yourself on the path of healing when it comes to financial and emotional issues. Are unresolved events from your past resulting in turmoil when it comes to your present? Solve the deeper problems.

yeah sort of.. i've been feeling really down lately. but i still got over it anyway so yeah.

--------------------

i think i managed to annoy -. successfully annoy -. yeap. just disturbing - online and tagging on the tagboard, saying stupid stuff. haha. - would probably think its perfectly fine and not annoying, but who cares, i think i'm annoying! haha

gonna get a drink and all, and probably take my tep again, just to make sure its going down... still having a headache. argh....

ah well.... gone for the next 3 days then, having lots of fun! yay! haha okay, bye!

[rainy afternoon]

yeah it didnt rain, but to me it did. you understand what i mean? it's pretty obvious, isnt it?

expect thunderstorms

blue monday each week.

sigh.

定心丸. heard of it? it is something capable of setting someone's mind at ease. i like that term.

sigh.

----------------------------

Have You Ever - S Club 7

Sometimes it's wrong to walk away, though you think it's over
Knowing there's so much more to say
Suddenly the moment's gone
And all your dreams are upside down
And you just wanna change the way the world goes round

Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody
Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry
Can't you see, that's the way I feel about you and me, Baby
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking
Lookin down the road you should be taking
I should know, cos I loved and lost the day I let you go

Can't help but think that this is wrong, we should be together
Back in your arms where I belong
Now I've finally realised it was forever that I've found
I'd give it all to change the way the world goes round

Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody
Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry
Can't you see, that's the way I feel about you and me, Baby
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking
Lookin down the road you should be taking
I should know, cos I loved and lost the day I let you go

I really wanna hear you say that you know just how it feels
To have it all and let it slip away, can't you see
Even though the moment's gone, I'm still holding on somehow
Wishing I could change the way the world goes round

Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody
Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry (I'm sorry)
Can't you see, (ohhh) that's the way I feel about you and me, Baby
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking
Lookin down the road you should be taking
I should know, (I should know) cos I loved and lost the day I let
Yes I loved and lost the day I let
Yes I loved and lost the day I let you go

[fallen]

it hasnt come down to anything for the past few hours. it's still drifting like no one's business.

have you ever had this temptation to do something but felt that you couldnt because it just doesnt seem right to you, but possibly okay to others? i guess so everyone did... then again, it hurts either way you do it? because you cant do it when you want to and even if you did it, you'll feel hurt because someone got hurt because of what you did?

i seriously dont know what i'm saying, neither do i know what i'm doing. i'm just taking each step at a time. was it because it was just so wrong right from the start? or something happened? was it because of each and every one's negligence that it comes to to nothing but this? i'm a little confused and stuck at the moment.

-------------------------

waiting for something to happen, and i shall go on waiting.... HAHA

-------------------------

Too Serious Too Soon - Gareth Gates

I wonder where you where
I wonder what your thinking about tonight
I wonder
Maybe your alone
Maybe you've been crying just like me
I wonder
I don't know why I lost your touch
Maybe I wanted to be loved too much

Too serious, too soon
I wanted you to love me
I wanted to be there for you like no one else before
Too serious, too soon
I wanted you to love me

It's been a rainy afternoon
Now I'm Staring at the moon
Thinking we got too serious, too soon

I told you every day
I told you every night in every way
I love you

Maybe you got scared
Maybe I have nothing else to say
But I love you
So baby now my life's a mess
Cause I'm
cos I couldn't love you any less

Too serious, too soon
I wanted you to love me
I wanted to be there for you like no one else before
Too serious, too soon
I wanted you to love me

It's been a rainy afternoon
Now I'm Staring at the moon
Thinking we got too serious, too soon

Too soon
It's not right
It's not fair
It's in you baby cuts like a knife
what if you were the love of my life

Too serious, too soon
I wanted you to love me
I wanted to be there for you like no one else before
Too serious, too soon
I wanted you to love me

We got too serious to soon
I wanted to be there for you like no one else before
Too serious too soon
I wanted you too love me

It's been a rainy afternoon
Now I'm Staring at the moon
Thinking we got too serious, too soon

[everything's drifting]

to me, it all seems to be drifting...

[memoirs of a geisha]

watched i not stupid 2 today! yay! finally.

cried of course, well, will tend to cry when i see other people cry or sad. dom was crying a lil, 'minor tears', according to him. but the movie was cool and nice.

then had yoshinoya for dinner. i was eating incredibly slow, while dom was just making fun of me and eating so quickly. bleagh

the equalites were just super weird. haha we left school together and went to orchard together to meet dom, then ate at subway and stuff. they were just tricking each other with all the lame and funny tricks. dom was just stoning there and listening to them, while i just laughed and tried to figure out what they were saying. haha, bleagh.

back to the movie. hmmmm shawn lee doesnt look any diff. mag said he looked super good when he had dinner with his dad. hmmm actually he didnt. haha. but yeah, he's not too bad looking. and joshua ang is appealing to liz! haha. that jerry was simply too sweet. haha his innocence just tickles you.

gonna start on my work. bleagh... okay... bye

[it's gonna be more than i can take]

all of a sudden, everyone decides to come. haha

too many cooks spoil the broth. it was a little confusing as to what to do and where the ingredients were. you wouldnt even know who exactly is standing next to you.

gonna fail ss for sure. everything, at least 90% was plain nonsense. prepare to fail. i still failed a maths, even after taking the retest. bleagh.

chem ca next wednesday, and i better work hard for it. i dont wanna fail chem. it'll be just weird. i did relatively okay for physics so i dont wanna do badly for chem.

suddenly the whole of 3/8 is looking for delle, which was really amusing. there were people shouting for delle on the corridors after recess, and there were people bugging me about who delle was and which class she belonged to. it was sure an adventure. haha.

sec 3 adventure camp next thursday and i simply cant wait for it. its gonna be so super fun. yeap! dragon-boating! but i dont know how i'll ever make it through the rope course. tall people tend to have a fear of heights. when i looked up at the statue of liberty from the top of the pedestal, which was relatively high, and the wind blowing in my face, i was like 'omigosh!' and was already sticking to the wall. haha. it depends on whether i have the guts. i really dont thnk i can make it through the rope course.

when i rock-climbed for the first time in p4, i completed it, reaching the top. when i rock-climbed for the second time, in p5, i just couldnt do it. haha, was like 6 feet above the ground and just practically froze there. bleagh.

my brother is an idiot. if he can stop disturbing the peaceful slumber of the other people around us, i would be so grateful. he has to talk on the phone at the top of his lungs as though his friend was deaf or something.

not gonna talk on the phone. hao peng you's dead already i think. haha joking lar.

i feel like just smashing my bro's com now. thank you. he has been irritating me ever since i came back home. argh. i'm gonna sleep, so that i can get up early tomorrow morning and do my work, at the same time, get rid of my brother.

--------------------------------
sorry but i think yahoo horoscopes are getting more and more accurate each day! haha. and dont know why i even started reading such stuff on the net nowadays.

Quickie:
It looks like all your plans are working! Everything is finally falling into place.

Overview:
Feel like you need to gain some insight into your own motivations, but not quite sure how to go about it? Never fear -- the stars are all set to help. Get ready to make a clean mental sweep of some old habits.

[you're safe in the knowledge]

wednesday went by well. but i was still a little guilty. okay, i still am now.

started off the day with mass. no chem and english due to the mass. the double ss period went by quickly, but we sure enjoyed it. after recess, we went to the com lab for a maths to ty out that ace-learning thing, which is actually kinda fun. yeap, might consider subscribing it. it was the briefing for next week's sec 3 adventure camp for the next two periods (pc and assembly) and school dimissed.

i dont know if i'm the one distancing myself from the others or i'm just invisible at times. i was told today im the one drifting away. it seems to me though, that THEY are drifting away. i'm kinda confused with all that, and no point trying to figure out either. i guess i'm just a pathetic loner.

ss test tomorrow. hmmm what can i say? nothing. and i actually passed my history ca. wow! haha surprising i really thought i would fail or something.

it was a little dry today. nah not the weather. dont worry about the weather. there was this sudden rain in the morning. got scolded early in the morning for i dont know why either, just got scolded although i was not that clear about what was going on. but oh wells. then tripped quite a few times. just being clumsy for the entire day.was 'enjoying' the loneliness and the corner during maths, like always. and the a maths retest is sure to be a goner. i bet i'm gonna flunk a maths again.

dont know why i should be getting all stressed over the stupid stuff that happens in school.

when you find no reason to do so, you wouldn't

yeah for some reason, i have been really disturbed ever since monday. well, if i didnt know, i probably would have been much happier now. not so... hmm... confused, stressed, sad, and troubled. i'm trying to be optimistic though, or should i simply throw it all away and not care. nvm, i'm worrying over stuff i dont even know its origin and its cause. i might not consider going for group study tomorrow. something happened and it sort of puts me off, and just spoils my interest already.

starting to lose that mutual trust now... lots of terrible things happened and after being stepped on too many times, i think the stubborn me finally lets go. i'm stubborn. when i get hurt by a certain someone because i trusted her too much, i start to trust her that much again after everything is well. but i'll get hurt again, and it just goes on and on. i will get hurt, recover, place too much trust again. maybe this time, i'll finally learn my lesson?

haivng the 'i-dont-care' attitude now. as you can see, all of a sudden, almost everything seems so unimportant. its not me. and i know i'll start being the silly me again after a while.

i hate to cry, but i do so often. so much happened and i've been degrading myself, making myself ultra sensitive. i dont want to be ultra sensitive, neither do i wanna be insensitive. i need to stand up on my own. and i need to start being strong once again. the name 'briana' is now nothing but a name, with no significance.

i'm going to study to forget about all these. bleagh, bye.

[lousy weeks are... hmmmm... lousy?]

i made someone a happier person today. i dont know if she's really happier or what. but whatever it is, on the the outside, she looks pretty okay i guess.

bad tuesday. yes broke down once again. like i would want to, but i've bottled everything inside me for two days, so when it comes out, it'll all pur out. yeah, thats me. i'm not as strong anymore. i'm pretty much a weaker being inside. but with encouragement from my hao peng youS, i feel much better. :)

zero carbon project officially closed. yes, the presentation was today, but it was screwy so bleagh. no point brooding over it anyway, so yeah.

feeling kinda bad for being chatty. ah sorry, i'll listen to you the next time and i will make sure you say something. haha. bleagh, i guess its torturous listening to me talk on the phone. haha, am i finally annoying?

not being sarcastic or anything. i'm not a very good mood. but not in a very bad mood either. the fact that its finally off my chest probably makes me feel much better, but i'm still worried as to what will happen in the upcoming future. you can say i'm a very sad and hopeless person. just gloomy at the moment. so yeah, maybe this time, that night's sleep will wash away my problems. depends... maybe talking on the phone at night will help, still depends on whether i would be on the phone tonight.

i finally read the 8 days magazine in a million years. yes, i havent been touching the 8 days mag ever since the exams. i think it was much earlier. well whatever it is, i dont really watch tv now, except for animax and disney, so no point reading the tv synopsis. but there were some singapore idol stuff. yeah was like !!! when i saw gayle's photo in there. well, not that i know her or anything, actually, i DON'T know her. but she sounds really good, so i'm not really surprised she passed the auditions. hmmm actually just shocked to see her in there.

finally touched the stronghold crusader pc after after 2 years? yeah old game, but never found the time to play it so yeah. its not that bad... dont know why i even played that.

praying for a good wednesday, filled with fun, joy and laughter. yeah. i know it'll be the same with all that yada and loneliness next to the window, but i guess i'm pretty much immune to it, i think. nvm, people change. too quickly. maybe i'm just too tortoise to catch up, you see?

wanna watch final destination 3, but i know i'll just freak out like i did when i watched the other two. but just watching it because its 'final destination', yeah get what i mean? and i wanna watch i not stupid too. i'm just stupid to not watch it yet okay? and yes, i do wanna watch it. need to know why so many people claim shawn li (lee?) is cute....? dont know... although i agreed he was good looking last thursday, i still think he looks the same so... so... haha nothing?

i'm just afraid i'll come down with something if i dont take care of myself. i cant just come down with something now. but it's just going up and down (you dont know what i'm saying? hmmm figure it out! haha)

i'm not a very outspoken person actually. it depends. i can be really quiet and reserved but i can be chatty too. so yeah, you might think i'm just weird or something, but i'm just saying it. for a reason.

the fear is eating into me. yes, for some reason, i'm just having this fear, but then again, it doesnt seem so bad. argh, dont know what i'm rambling about but yeah.

hey if i start talking about my hao peng youS, would you think its an imaginary friend? something i made up with? like those weird friends kids like to have?

haha nvm, dont need to answer if you dont want to, because the more i think i about it, i start to think that i'm pretty much nutzy myself. well, who ever said i wasnt? and haha i'm rambling again. i ramble all the time.

feeling random all of a sudden and thats why i'm talking about random stuff like the last two paragraphs. but anyway, i'm having another headache. not sure why, but its getting worse. bleagh. argh. its just squishing my brain and turning it into pulp. fluff and goo! haha oh man...

ah well, i shall go fluff and goo now. actually its nothing much. if you read part 4 of the entire log when i was in america, you probably get the basic idea of it just being a production of one of my retarded-ness. i think all that p.e. and breaking down has made me really exhausted, maybe that could be a good explaination for the headaches. haha ah well, good night.

[this clock never seems so alive]

i'm not gonna care
i'm not gonna care
i'm not gonna care
i'm not gonna care
I'M NOT GONNA CARE!

wth. if i could just convince myself now. after what mag told me, i just found it super annoying. not as if i don't feel a thing right? but sometimes if you could just tell me wth is going on, i'll probably understand and know at least what to do. yeah you'll just go: 'you would not understand at all, even if i told you, because you're just too stupid and insensitive to understand. it will never to get to you even if we start to argue.'

fine. so i'm just insensitive and stupid. fine, i get it. at least tell me, what if a miracle happened and i actually understood? i try to help, you push me away. not as if i'm not feeling terrible seeing you like this. do you know how much it will hurt me? but do i look like i care? i dont care about myself as long as you tell me, scream at me, shout at me, whatever. as long as telling me makes you feel better, i dont give a damn about anything else.

i already tried to forget about it every since she told me. i tried playing some happy music whatever, just do something to distract myself, like talking and talking on the phone non stop, about all the stupid things that happened, such as the fire alarm in school and all that kinda worthless and unimportant things happening everyday. now, i'm just a stupid loser not facing up to it okay? i'm just gonna tell myself "I'M NOT GONNA CARE" and i hope i can stop thinking about it, because it is seriously bothering me.

-----------------------------------

we all had a bad day today. mag and i were just wasting away today until we played the elmo song. we started to laugh, and started to write about the hypocrites in ij on the whiteboard, because we were really unhappy about everything happened. what i heard and what happened to her, and about the many people who were angry with us, for reasons we dont know ourselves. stef was there to listen to us. and when we were leaving, mag made a fool of herself. it cheered us up a lil too. and i was a macs with mag, where we started to laugh hysterically. we both went home with a lighter mood. i dont know about mag, but i'm not feeling any more happier than i was earlier this afternoon.

i just know that, i really do wanna run away. i know its wrong to run away from your problems and all that stuff, but i really do feel like running into a corner to hide for a while until i'm found or decide to return, then face all these problems with a more positive attitude. i'm just feeling tired and lethargic thinking about all these. i guess it's teenage angst. i just dont wanna look up now. i just feel like looking down on the ground and thinking about nothing.

although my hao peng you tells me not to care about all these, because they're not worth it, i cant help it. they are the people i see practically everyday. if i could easily throw all my worries aside, i would. but i still wanna try to convince myself to stop thinking about all that and forget all about it.

i know you want me to disappear right? i want to, but where can i go to? do you want me to block you? so that you will not see me online and so you will feel much better? or you want me to completely vanish?

-----------------------------------

after all that ranting, i hope i would feel much better. yi qi's entertaining me, so i feel much better just listening to her. yeah and 'fwny'.

Quickie:
If you want to make headway, focus on your objective. Ignore the distracting drama.

Overview:
Daydreams are extremely fun, but don't let them get out of hand. If you're so distracted that you're not taking care of some tasks that need immediate attention, it's time to find a way to focus.

ignore the distracting drama. i will try to.

-----------------------------------

You And Me - Lifehouse

What day is it? And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time

Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

All of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words
You've got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here

Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

There's something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right

Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

What day is it?
And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive

[yahoo horoscopes are quite accurate]

Quickie:
Focus on the positive, not the negative, today. You have control over all decisions.

Overview:
Has the answer been staring you in the face this entire time? It's just like what the wise Dorothy Gale once said about finding everything she needed in her own backyard. Look closer to home.

i see why now. it's quite accurate, to my surprise.

currently feeling negative, with all that yada yada happening at home. its unhappy to be at home all of a sudden. it doesnt even feel like home. yeah so why bother right?

finished the ipw presentation but it was a tough time. yeah you would be thinking: 'whats so difficult?' yeah its difficult, i dont know why either.

feeling extremely tired now. after two nights, staying up, talking on the phone, i think i'm considerably tired now. haha actually its quite fun talking on the phone in the middle of the night. i slept for like 19 hours this weekend and it doesnt really fulfil my need. i need energy! and my vision is a little weird, as though there's fog covering my eyes. maybe because im straining my eyes...

ah well whatever it is, im gonna eat now and do my a maths homework. ta

----------------------------

Bad Day - Daniel Powter

Where is the moment we needed the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to grey
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on

You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces everytime
And I don't need no carryin' on

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Well you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on

You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day

(Oh.. Holiday..)

Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong

So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Had a bad day
Had a bad day
Had a bad day
Had a bad day
Had a bad day

[it's gonna be true]

gina's sick, with severe gastric. and she's very stressed, thats why shes sick now.. she cant eat in peace. ahhh i dont know what i can do to help her...

was on the phone throughout the entire night, and was watching tv at the same time. did make it past 4.30am though. so i guess its not the entire night.

then slept for 11 hours and woke up at exactly 3pm, well, what are the odds?

was just stoning and.... stoning. yeah. then started on the bg of the ipw presentation and was talking to yi qi about her 'fei wen nan you'. haha it was just funny listening to her.

was kinda appallled with what someone said on her blog. yeah... sigh

---------------------------

It's Gonna Be Love - Mandy Moore

It's gonna be me baby
It's gonna be you baby

Time I've been patient for so long
How can I pretend to be so strong?
Looking at you baby
Feeling it too baby
If I'm asking you to hold me tight
then it's gonna be all right

[Chorus]
It's gonna be Love
It's gonna be great
It's gonna be more then I can take
It's gonna be free
It's gonna be real
It's gonna change everything I feel
It's gonna be sad
It's gonna be true
It's gonna be me baby
It's gonna be you baby
It's gonna be...Its gonna be Love

Time am I restless or a fool?
How can you pretend to be so cruel?
Maybe it's me baby
Maybe it's true baby
Maybe it's everything were dreaming of
We waited long enough

[Chorus]
It's gonna be Love
It's gonna be great
It's gonna be more then I can take
It's gonna be free
It's gonna be real
It's gonna change everything I feel
It's gonna be sad
It's gonna be true
It's gonna be your the one to do
It's gonna be me baby
It's gonna be you baby

[Backup singers] The sooner you let two hearts beat together
The sooner you know this love is forever

[Mandy] It's gonna be love

[Backup Singers] Love needs time now or never

[Mandy] It's gonna be love

[Backup Singers] You really got to believe
[Both] it's gonna be strong enough

[Chorus]
It's gonna be Love
It's gonna be great
It's gonna be more then I can take
It's gonna be free
It's gonna be real
It's gonna change everything I feel
It's gonna be sad
It's gonna be true
It's gonna be your the one to do
It's gonna be hard
It's gonna be tough
It's gonna be more then just enough
It's gonna be LOVE

It's gonna be Love

It's gonna be sad
It's gonna be true
It's gonna be me baby
It's gonna be you baby

It's gonna be me baby
It's gonna be you

It's gonna be real

It's gonna be love

[are we ever gonna learn to fly?]

i was finally able to accept it. although it hurts but i did anyway. i didnt think i was that much of an idiot.

i hope i'll feel better after a night's sleep.

yeah it's a little melancholy here and there.

having a bad day okay? sorry if i showed some attitude today.

i hate myself now. i hate myself to the core, i'm sick of living.

------------------------

maybe if you could just stop doing that because it was unnecessary. i'm looking forward to what you will say. is it because i didnt know you well enough? that i was taken aback by what you said and did? if yes, i blame no one but myself. just stop having that fucked up attitude that will just annoy people.

i'm trying to look at it very calmly and carefully okay. its not that i dont want to try. i have a limit. if i didnt live up to expectations, then i'm sorry.

i dont know how to take a step at a time anymore, i cant decide which direction to go okay? you always put me in a difficult position where i had to make a decision. and everything i tried doing is just so wrong to you. i know i'm wrong most of the time, but please let me live in denial just once.

------------------------

Angels Or Devils - Dishwalla

this is the last time
that I'm ever gonna come here tonight
this is the last time - I will fall
into a place that fails us all - inside

I can see the pain in you
I can see the love in you
but fighting all the demons will take time
it will take time

the angels they burn inside for us
are we ever
are we ever gonna learn to fly
the devils they burn inside of us
are we ever gonna come back down
come around
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold

this is the last time
that I'm ever gonna give in tonight
are there angels or devils crawling here?
I just want to know what blurs and what is clear - to see

still I can see the pain in you
and I can see the love in you
and fighting all the demons will take time
it will take time

the angels they burn inside for us
are we ever
are we ever gonna learn to fly
the devils they burn inside of us
are we ever gonna come back down - come around
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could break us

if I was to give in - give it up
- and then
take a breath - make it deep
cause it might be the last one you get
be the last one
that could make us cold
you know that they could make us cold
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold

[a walk to remember]

a walk to remember rocks. yes. its a real tear jerking movie as well. jaime died. sigh. but it was a really really amazing movie. i would like to thank julienne for urging me to watch the movie. haha! it was a really amazing movie... and mandy moore has an incredible voice.

now i'll just wait to watch the exorcist and the sixth sense. yeah decided to watch them since we were watching clips of them during english. yeap.

a walk to remember is a must watch!



Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people's sins, but delights in the truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure in whatever comes.

quoted from the movie. it was something jaime's dad said at jaime and landon's wedding. it was actually something jaime's mom wrote. and when landon was reading that entire paragraph from jaime's mom's book, i can tell you, you'll be too touched to tears.

--------------------------

mag, matilda and i went 'shopping' today and we met this really nice person. ahh feeling kinda bad. he gave us something, without charging us a cent and he spent so much time on it... but he was really nice. we were insisting to pay for it, and he was telling us to go ahead and take it. so yeah... he was a really nice person, a very generous one indeed.

i love the equalites!!!! haha dont know why i said that but i love them. yay!

--------------------------

Only Hope - Mandy Moore

There's a song that's inside of my soul
It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again
I'm awake in the infinite cold
But You sing to me over and over and over again

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands
and pray to be only Yours
I pray to be only Yours
I know now you're my only hope

Sing to me the song of the stars
Of Your galaxy dancing and laughing
and laughing again
When it feels like my dreams are so far
Sing to me of the plans that You have for me over again

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope

I give You my destiny
I'm giving You all of me
I want Your symphony
Singing in all that I am
At the top of my lungs I'm giving it back

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope