[initial d - great movie!]
initial d was a great movie. i enjoyed the races. hehe. well it was cool lar... and the movie was so funny, well suhui was laughing away in the back. haha and that scratch and win thing i got after buying the hot dog set... haha, we won a lollipop. i gave it to suhui. well the movie was good but it was pretty sad jay chou (takumi) didnt even give his girlfriend (natsuki) a chance to explain. it just ended with him witnessing his girlfriend stepping out of another guy's car, after the really big race, which he won of course. then she chased after him. and on the way home, he was crying. when he got home, his father was about to celebrate with him, with sushi and sake. but then he was like all moody so he threw the keys at the table and stomped to his room. the father was really funny too. so it all ended with him driving off to somewhere. well i sort of expected it to end there. but i did pray it wont just end there. his father is the best man, he can act really well. and he was really funny. haha. his best friend is even worse... always talking crap.... and he said stuff like "god was once man, but because god couldnt do some things man could do, and therefore, he is god" or something like that. then he started kissing takumi's hand because takumi defeated a GTR with an AE86... well it is amazing. because the AE86 is already 10 years old, but the GTR is new. so the GTR is supposed to be better than the AE86. well its still gross to do that.
lost my wallet... very upsetting because a lot of stuff were in there, including the movie tickets. so we talked to the manager and he said he would let us sit there if no one is sitting there. well we thought that if whoever who took me wallet, see the tickets inside and come for the movie, we could confront him/her. but then he/she didnt come so yea... i feel really guilty... losing the 6 tickets. costing $48. and then i felt guilty throughout the movie. but i still did have fun and enjoyed it. so i guess yea... but i feel very guilty now... my ts vip card was in there. my ezlink card, tapz card, $10++ and neoprints were in there and it vanished... well thanks to my careless ness. i hope that someone will return it... sigh... sorry...
i caught a spider in a container when i saw it on my computer... i'm gonna release it later. probably at pasir ris or maybe here.
my brother's tutor didnt bring the initial d anime, 2nd and 3rd stage today... he said he cant find it and told his housekeeper to help him find it haha.
jay chou's previous album, ye hui mei is actually not bad, too bad i didnt buy it.
Thursday, June 23, 2005
[Initial D, TODAY]
today's thursday, the 23th.
we're gonna watch initial d in a 7 hours and 45 minutes. haha, the late night one. well i dont know if it can be consider as the late night show, but we're watching at 7.30pm at lido. i just got out of bed... was watching tv, chatting and playing games with denise and doing my homework all at the same time last night, till like 3am. i think its gonna be like a habit... before school reopens. so i finally learnt how to play minesweeper. haiyah, its just that i never really knew how to play it. everytime i try, i just click anywhere and lose. haha. i dont play with my brains. but i did last night, after denise taught me how to play minesweeper. sigh.... and shes graduating this year... all the sec 4s are...
the neighbours are probably annoyed with me... because i play music till 3am, loud enough for the room to hear me. and i play the same song over and over again without realising it. well the silence will just kill me. and in p6, when i stay up late, the television will be switched on, so at least i wont be so frightened by the silence. i'm just not comfortable with it. there must be at least the sound of the wind, so that i can stop being so paranoid. if its alone at home, at night, even with the the noise coming from the air-con, i'm still a little paranoid, because i heard weird stuff outside my room. for some reason, there will be this weird sound as though someone knocked into one of the furniture, or the furniture was moved. when i open the door and look out, i see no one. and it happens when i'm the only one awake at night.
i just realised the initial d sld at ts... they only sell the fourth stage if i were to buy the dvd, but the entire set if i bought vcd. and then, the vcds dont have english subs, they have chinese subs. although i understand it when i watch taiwanese dramas, because they're not speaking in japanese. but i never really tried, japanese and chinese subs, and i dont wanna try. so i'll still search. and they have what buy 2 anime get one free. there are 3 volumes of the fourth stage. $12.90 each. so if i were to buy 2 volumes, i get 1 free. but if i use the vip card, i dont know if its still possible for me to buy 2 get 1 free. gah.
my brother is scolding me for changing the songs. whatever... super sickening... gah whatever... he logged out of my account first, bleagh... whatever, im trying not to care. haha
today's thursday, the 23th.
we're gonna watch initial d in a 7 hours and 45 minutes. haha, the late night one. well i dont know if it can be consider as the late night show, but we're watching at 7.30pm at lido. i just got out of bed... was watching tv, chatting and playing games with denise and doing my homework all at the same time last night, till like 3am. i think its gonna be like a habit... before school reopens. so i finally learnt how to play minesweeper. haiyah, its just that i never really knew how to play it. everytime i try, i just click anywhere and lose. haha. i dont play with my brains. but i did last night, after denise taught me how to play minesweeper. sigh.... and shes graduating this year... all the sec 4s are...
the neighbours are probably annoyed with me... because i play music till 3am, loud enough for the room to hear me. and i play the same song over and over again without realising it. well the silence will just kill me. and in p6, when i stay up late, the television will be switched on, so at least i wont be so frightened by the silence. i'm just not comfortable with it. there must be at least the sound of the wind, so that i can stop being so paranoid. if its alone at home, at night, even with the the noise coming from the air-con, i'm still a little paranoid, because i heard weird stuff outside my room. for some reason, there will be this weird sound as though someone knocked into one of the furniture, or the furniture was moved. when i open the door and look out, i see no one. and it happens when i'm the only one awake at night.
i just realised the initial d sld at ts... they only sell the fourth stage if i were to buy the dvd, but the entire set if i bought vcd. and then, the vcds dont have english subs, they have chinese subs. although i understand it when i watch taiwanese dramas, because they're not speaking in japanese. but i never really tried, japanese and chinese subs, and i dont wanna try. so i'll still search. and they have what buy 2 anime get one free. there are 3 volumes of the fourth stage. $12.90 each. so if i were to buy 2 volumes, i get 1 free. but if i use the vip card, i dont know if its still possible for me to buy 2 get 1 free. gah.
my brother is scolding me for changing the songs. whatever... super sickening... gah whatever... he logged out of my account first, bleagh... whatever, im trying not to care. haha
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
[haircut]
cut my hair at kimage, and it didnt go too bad... their sink for washing customers' hair is so cool... its like a cabinet or smething.
you wanna wash your hair? OPEN!
its so cool... and then the water doesnt spill if you close it. but its really ex there. lucky for me, because my auntie had the coupon, so i only cut my hair for $15. a normal haircut can cost $31.50. its extortion! and rebonding can cost $200++, ok i didnt know it would be this expensive... and highlighting is $100++, and i wanted to highlight my hair when i'm older. my mum just said i cant highlight my hair when i'm older, like 20. what? i'm still a kid by then? still need to ask for your permission to highlight my hair? hmmm whatever, i'm still gonna do it. but its kimage so everything is ex... but even if its at a normal salon, its still gonna be $200++ and $100++, gah... i wanna highlight it... and my auntie said it'll be cheaper for people with short hair. and i think highlights for short hair are nicer. haha we'll see then.
i was telling my auntie on the way home that i want a job so that i can buy the stuff i want. so she said i can earn by being a babysitte. babysit my cousin. okay... so she said she'll ask my mum and then see how lar. i'm not good with kids. but i'll probably get $20 a day lar... well thats better than nothing. and i still dont get why my mum doesnt allow me to work outside. haha
cut my hair at kimage, and it didnt go too bad... their sink for washing customers' hair is so cool... its like a cabinet or smething.
you wanna wash your hair? OPEN!
its so cool... and then the water doesnt spill if you close it. but its really ex there. lucky for me, because my auntie had the coupon, so i only cut my hair for $15. a normal haircut can cost $31.50. its extortion! and rebonding can cost $200++, ok i didnt know it would be this expensive... and highlighting is $100++, and i wanted to highlight my hair when i'm older. my mum just said i cant highlight my hair when i'm older, like 20. what? i'm still a kid by then? still need to ask for your permission to highlight my hair? hmmm whatever, i'm still gonna do it. but its kimage so everything is ex... but even if its at a normal salon, its still gonna be $200++ and $100++, gah... i wanna highlight it... and my auntie said it'll be cheaper for people with short hair. and i think highlights for short hair are nicer. haha we'll see then.
i was telling my auntie on the way home that i want a job so that i can buy the stuff i want. so she said i can earn by being a babysitte. babysit my cousin. okay... so she said she'll ask my mum and then see how lar. i'm not good with kids. but i'll probably get $20 a day lar... well thats better than nothing. and i still dont get why my mum doesnt allow me to work outside. haha
[jay chou? huh?]
so i did call eng wah this morning, but they dont know and their reason is "oh, because the movie isnt released yet" ok... so i asked them if there were english subs for chinese movies and she said "erm, yes, there should be for chinese movies", so she THINKS there are. okay... so then i asked my brother's tutor, and he said there are, well he thinks there are. he's bringing the 2nd stage and 3rd stage on friday. haha so happy. well he forgot to bring it on sunday... and he didnt bring it today. never mind... friday... i can wait... i can, right? haha.
doing english homework now and the grammar worksheets are a little difficult, i never thought editing could be this difficult. its weird. but anyway i've completed that section.
my brother's tutor said there was the gala red carpet thingy for initial d at lido last night. he could go but he didnt go. and he said the cast were here and stuff... he didnt go because he said all the screaming fans would be scary, well i think so too. haha, and he said the people there have to dress properly, no berms and stuff... haha i wanted to go down to lido yesterday to ask if there were subs, but i didnt, haha. and he was joking around, saying if we did anything wrong, the camera crew there will tape that down, and we die. haha well thats a little extreme... right? but anyway, the gala thingy was only for those who had some special ticket for that, haha he had the ticket but he didnt go... so he said something about returning the tickets or something, cant remember but i cant be bothered liao... its like i dont know what time, and i would rather be doing my horrid homework... haha. he thinks girls are starting to like initial d (anime) because of jay chou, so now jay chou is like promoting initial d? haha i watched the anime before the movie though... so i'm not watching it because of jay chou... why does almost everyone think its the jay chou and edison chen that certain people are watching initial d. well yea, thats also quite true, but not all true. maybe its because its jay chou's first movie and stuff. it is his first movie... right? haha whatever... but i'm not gonna miss the movie thats all.
downloaded more jay chou songs last night. and i think i should have bought the previous album as well, its not bad... although you have no idea what on earth he is singing, but its still not bad. yea... he mumbles, like thats his forte or whatsoever. haha. piao yi... doesnt really make much of a sense, it means drift, translated, but the first line is like "i pick up my pen and write in my diary". haha weird. well thats only first line. haha heck, i think the last part of the song is funky. then theres qing tian (sunny day). its a sad song. with a happy name, weird again. but its a nice song. i like it. i actually thought its probably sunshine after rain, haha maybe not. everything is so sad and makes jay chou seem clingy... ah well.. shall stop for now. because i have to continue with my horrid homework... i'm gonna cut my hair later. its growing... haha
so i did call eng wah this morning, but they dont know and their reason is "oh, because the movie isnt released yet" ok... so i asked them if there were english subs for chinese movies and she said "erm, yes, there should be for chinese movies", so she THINKS there are. okay... so then i asked my brother's tutor, and he said there are, well he thinks there are. he's bringing the 2nd stage and 3rd stage on friday. haha so happy. well he forgot to bring it on sunday... and he didnt bring it today. never mind... friday... i can wait... i can, right? haha.
doing english homework now and the grammar worksheets are a little difficult, i never thought editing could be this difficult. its weird. but anyway i've completed that section.
my brother's tutor said there was the gala red carpet thingy for initial d at lido last night. he could go but he didnt go. and he said the cast were here and stuff... he didnt go because he said all the screaming fans would be scary, well i think so too. haha, and he said the people there have to dress properly, no berms and stuff... haha i wanted to go down to lido yesterday to ask if there were subs, but i didnt, haha. and he was joking around, saying if we did anything wrong, the camera crew there will tape that down, and we die. haha well thats a little extreme... right? but anyway, the gala thingy was only for those who had some special ticket for that, haha he had the ticket but he didnt go... so he said something about returning the tickets or something, cant remember but i cant be bothered liao... its like i dont know what time, and i would rather be doing my horrid homework... haha. he thinks girls are starting to like initial d (anime) because of jay chou, so now jay chou is like promoting initial d? haha i watched the anime before the movie though... so i'm not watching it because of jay chou... why does almost everyone think its the jay chou and edison chen that certain people are watching initial d. well yea, thats also quite true, but not all true. maybe its because its jay chou's first movie and stuff. it is his first movie... right? haha whatever... but i'm not gonna miss the movie thats all.
downloaded more jay chou songs last night. and i think i should have bought the previous album as well, its not bad... although you have no idea what on earth he is singing, but its still not bad. yea... he mumbles, like thats his forte or whatsoever. haha. piao yi... doesnt really make much of a sense, it means drift, translated, but the first line is like "i pick up my pen and write in my diary". haha weird. well thats only first line. haha heck, i think the last part of the song is funky. then theres qing tian (sunny day). its a sad song. with a happy name, weird again. but its a nice song. i like it. i actually thought its probably sunshine after rain, haha maybe not. everything is so sad and makes jay chou seem clingy... ah well.. shall stop for now. because i have to continue with my horrid homework... i'm gonna cut my hair later. its growing... haha
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
[initial d subs]
was intending to go to school today to return some stuff. then i was just outside the school gate, when i saw carmen, donna, phoenix and see kei. they were going for lunch so i went with them. ate salmon terriyaki, nice. haha so we hung around tp for a few hours(that was not supposed to happen) and lost track of time. so i decided not to go back to school and asked them to return the stuff for me.
haha we will be watching initial d at lido! whee.... haha apparently, there isnt initial d at cine on thursday. so i called up lido, eng wah, gv just to ask if there were english subs. none of them were open. but there are english subs in the trailer so i assume there are in the movie. i'm calling tomorrow to check again.
since the chinese project only required me to do one festival, i did the jap new year. haha... its a lot. to translate. wish me good luck. being a translator is tough.
was intending to go to school today to return some stuff. then i was just outside the school gate, when i saw carmen, donna, phoenix and see kei. they were going for lunch so i went with them. ate salmon terriyaki, nice. haha so we hung around tp for a few hours(that was not supposed to happen) and lost track of time. so i decided not to go back to school and asked them to return the stuff for me.
haha we will be watching initial d at lido! whee.... haha apparently, there isnt initial d at cine on thursday. so i called up lido, eng wah, gv just to ask if there were english subs. none of them were open. but there are english subs in the trailer so i assume there are in the movie. i'm calling tomorrow to check again.
since the chinese project only required me to do one festival, i did the jap new year. haha... its a lot. to translate. wish me good luck. being a translator is tough.
[japanese history]
i have just finished the research for my chinese project. festivals of other races besides the chinese. so i chose the japanese and its really cool. because their history is really enriching and really interesting. they have all those customs and traditions and they're pretty interesting. i think i'm having a little fun readng all the stuff about the japanese festivals and that helps me with my project. i'm glad they allowed japanese festivals. and its a pity the edo period lasted for 267 years... from 1600 - 1867. when kenshin was 15. whoa, that was a pretty long period and i guess a lot of bad things happened furing the edo period.
all i have to do now is translate it... and its gonna be a pain, especially when i have to look for the chinese translations for the japanese words. wish me good luck. i like the japanese names though... and the kids in the kimonos in the photos are really cute because they are so small and the kimono looks so big for them haha.
i plan to finish my maths homework by tomorrow. my chinese homework by thursday. maybe after initial d, i will like chinese even more and might just be able to finish the project in a jiffy. the i'll finish science by friday. and english by wednesday. speaking of english, the remedial tomorrow is cancelled, everyone is celebrating! haha... less homework :) less stress. so happy when gretch told me.
i love the japanese history... although they didnt include the japanese occupation because they didnt want their descendants to know the bad stuff they did, according to mrs siow. but its really cool studying their history... maybe studying another country's history might just be better rather than know about the japanese occupation and then studying it over and over again. well i'm not saying its boring. its fun but then maybe have some japanese history, like their traditions and stuff can be quite cool... well thats my opinion, no need to be taken seriously. haha especially for anime freaks like me, i guess it'll be a little more interesting... thats me... haha
i have just finished the research for my chinese project. festivals of other races besides the chinese. so i chose the japanese and its really cool. because their history is really enriching and really interesting. they have all those customs and traditions and they're pretty interesting. i think i'm having a little fun readng all the stuff about the japanese festivals and that helps me with my project. i'm glad they allowed japanese festivals. and its a pity the edo period lasted for 267 years... from 1600 - 1867. when kenshin was 15. whoa, that was a pretty long period and i guess a lot of bad things happened furing the edo period.
all i have to do now is translate it... and its gonna be a pain, especially when i have to look for the chinese translations for the japanese words. wish me good luck. i like the japanese names though... and the kids in the kimonos in the photos are really cute because they are so small and the kimono looks so big for them haha.
i plan to finish my maths homework by tomorrow. my chinese homework by thursday. maybe after initial d, i will like chinese even more and might just be able to finish the project in a jiffy. the i'll finish science by friday. and english by wednesday. speaking of english, the remedial tomorrow is cancelled, everyone is celebrating! haha... less homework :) less stress. so happy when gretch told me.
i love the japanese history... although they didnt include the japanese occupation because they didnt want their descendants to know the bad stuff they did, according to mrs siow. but its really cool studying their history... maybe studying another country's history might just be better rather than know about the japanese occupation and then studying it over and over again. well i'm not saying its boring. its fun but then maybe have some japanese history, like their traditions and stuff can be quite cool... well thats my opinion, no need to be taken seriously. haha especially for anime freaks like me, i guess it'll be a little more interesting... thats me... haha
Monday, June 20, 2005
[exodus]
my mother flared at me for something i didnt do at all.... o great... i suspect my brother did it, because he did so many times. whatever it is. i woke up this morning, bathed and went straight to school. nothing to prove at all. what the heck, this is what a i get after i come home from school? i have been really frustrated today. and now this. this is really crappy. want me to jump off the building and die? then life will be so much easier for you. you scold me for my attitude, then watch yours as well, its because of your stinking attitude that i'm like this as well. i really wonder whether everything started with me, whether its my fault or is it your stupid and irritating attitude.
i really feel like screaming, throw things around. i tried to be nice, to keep calm.
-------------------------------------
after all that ranting, i think i feel much better now. it looks ugly... that one paragraph and a line looks hideous...
3 more days to Initial D, well thats something worth looking forward to, and it cheered me up a little just thinking about it, haha. well, i dont care if the takumi fujiwara was jay chou or not, i just wanna watch the movie. well edison looks cool with the new hair, haha it is a nice colour. but takeshi nakazato (shawn yue) looks weird. anyway i just can't wait, although i am now, haha.
english remedial tomorrow. well i'm not looking forward to it. sigh. ok mrs stephen is a good teacher, yeah, pushing us to our limits so that we can make use of our potential and stuff but its scary... and i doubt i have that potential anyway... haha its true, i dont have it. haha.
i feel as though besides the music playing from the computer, everything im hearing is simply noise.
my stuffed frog and rabbit
smile and comfort me
yea my stuffed toys cheer me up. although i dont tell them anything in particular, its as if when they smile or they don't have an expression OR they don't have a mouth, i seem to feel much more relaxed and less frustrated, less stressed and less depressed. haha call me weird or whatever, but to me i guess thats one way of cheering myself up.
i have been so vexed over **** and over my homework, i have forgotten to sleep and eat, which sounds pretty bad. i havent eaten for the day today. i havent been able to sleep well and that caused me to fall ill. i'm getting worse and soon, i will spread the disease. i'll probably be the most irritating person in class tomorrow with my sneezing ang coughing. i just feel my brain sizzling. i keep having that nowadays. llike my brain is melting and i have this sizzling feeling in my head. as iff my brain is turning into goo. ewww... or maybe its internal bleeding? but how is it possible for me to have this sizzling feeling in my head? well thats a possibility.
- internal bleeding
- brain turning into goo
- brain melting like ice cream
- half my brain vanishing
well thats all i can think for now, until i have thought of other possibilities. then if its really serious, i'll probably get admitted into the hospital, lie there, rot and die. yeah... then i'll make a list of items i want at my funeral, ok that was a joke, but i really hope that at my funeral, i can listen to all the songs i like, especially those really sad songs. fly away by corrinne may is nice. its really sad too. haha ok enough with all the really not nice stuff. i need to figure out why i'm getting goo instead of knowledge into this empty head of mine. ah well. shall go eat now. its 8.30pm.
Exodus - Evanescence
My black backpack's stuffed with broken dreams
20 bucks should get me through the week
Never said a word of discontentment
Fought it a thousand times but now
I'm leaving home
[CHORUS:]
Here in the shadows
I'm safe
I'm free
I've nowhere else to go but
I cannot stay where I don't belong
Two months pass by and it's getting cold
I know I'm not lost
I am just alone
But I won't cry
I won't give up
I can't go back now
Waking up is knowing who you really are
[Chorus]
[Chorus]
Show me the shadow where true meaning lies
So much more dismay in empty eyes
my mother flared at me for something i didnt do at all.... o great... i suspect my brother did it, because he did so many times. whatever it is. i woke up this morning, bathed and went straight to school. nothing to prove at all. what the heck, this is what a i get after i come home from school? i have been really frustrated today. and now this. this is really crappy. want me to jump off the building and die? then life will be so much easier for you. you scold me for my attitude, then watch yours as well, its because of your stinking attitude that i'm like this as well. i really wonder whether everything started with me, whether its my fault or is it your stupid and irritating attitude.
i really feel like screaming, throw things around. i tried to be nice, to keep calm.
-------------------------------------
after all that ranting, i think i feel much better now. it looks ugly... that one paragraph and a line looks hideous...
3 more days to Initial D, well thats something worth looking forward to, and it cheered me up a little just thinking about it, haha. well, i dont care if the takumi fujiwara was jay chou or not, i just wanna watch the movie. well edison looks cool with the new hair, haha it is a nice colour. but takeshi nakazato (shawn yue) looks weird. anyway i just can't wait, although i am now, haha.
english remedial tomorrow. well i'm not looking forward to it. sigh. ok mrs stephen is a good teacher, yeah, pushing us to our limits so that we can make use of our potential and stuff but its scary... and i doubt i have that potential anyway... haha its true, i dont have it. haha.
i feel as though besides the music playing from the computer, everything im hearing is simply noise.
my stuffed frog and rabbit
smile and comfort me
yea my stuffed toys cheer me up. although i dont tell them anything in particular, its as if when they smile or they don't have an expression OR they don't have a mouth, i seem to feel much more relaxed and less frustrated, less stressed and less depressed. haha call me weird or whatever, but to me i guess thats one way of cheering myself up.
i have been so vexed over **** and over my homework, i have forgotten to sleep and eat, which sounds pretty bad. i havent eaten for the day today. i havent been able to sleep well and that caused me to fall ill. i'm getting worse and soon, i will spread the disease. i'll probably be the most irritating person in class tomorrow with my sneezing ang coughing. i just feel my brain sizzling. i keep having that nowadays. llike my brain is melting and i have this sizzling feeling in my head. as iff my brain is turning into goo. ewww... or maybe its internal bleeding? but how is it possible for me to have this sizzling feeling in my head? well thats a possibility.
- internal bleeding
- brain turning into goo
- brain melting like ice cream
- half my brain vanishing
well thats all i can think for now, until i have thought of other possibilities. then if its really serious, i'll probably get admitted into the hospital, lie there, rot and die. yeah... then i'll make a list of items i want at my funeral, ok that was a joke, but i really hope that at my funeral, i can listen to all the songs i like, especially those really sad songs. fly away by corrinne may is nice. its really sad too. haha ok enough with all the really not nice stuff. i need to figure out why i'm getting goo instead of knowledge into this empty head of mine. ah well. shall go eat now. its 8.30pm.
Exodus - Evanescence
My black backpack's stuffed with broken dreams
20 bucks should get me through the week
Never said a word of discontentment
Fought it a thousand times but now
I'm leaving home
[CHORUS:]
Here in the shadows
I'm safe
I'm free
I've nowhere else to go but
I cannot stay where I don't belong
Two months pass by and it's getting cold
I know I'm not lost
I am just alone
But I won't cry
I won't give up
I can't go back now
Waking up is knowing who you really are
[Chorus]
[Chorus]
Show me the shadow where true meaning lies
So much more dismay in empty eyes
Saturday, June 18, 2005
[mr. and mrs. smith]
the farewell party was okay... we soaked our feet in the pool, haha so nice. then we went to novita's room! her hippo is so cute and her dog (toy) is so cute!!! i've never seen debby hug a stuff toy like that before... she was so cute when she was hugging that yellow hippo. wonder if she did that to the big big dog we gave her for her birthday haha. but anyway, i did have fun with the seniors and all... but then i was the only one from the sec 2 batch... matilda came down, to talk to stef... about other stuff, but she left anyway, so i felt so extra and awkward. haha no surprise, well better start to master the art of adapting quickly. o yeah... speaking of the art of so-and-so. i think i have mastered the art of not sleeping for at least a night and not dozing off in the day. well now i'm sick... a cold and my stomach isnt feeling too well either. but i did have fun earlier... it was a pity we didnt really talk to the seniors... but talked among ourselves instead... sigh. and it seems like it's really screwed, real badly. i really do hope we'll all be able to revive what was dead together. and stay like that. sigh.
i guess everything is screwed, but then we still have to find a way to solve whatever problems we have and just start to get along fine... i've gained a little more knowledge today i guess. i've got something more to reflect now. although it's gonna make me all sad again, i guess its good to always reflect.
now my brother and my mother's boyfriend's son (joel) are lying on the floor, eating korean noodles and talking to this girl over the phone. scary... well, i can hear everything because its on the loudspeaker and the entire room can hear what she's saying... and she just called my brother cute... ?!?! gah he isnt.... and his materialis and egoism is just beyond incredible. so he has to tell me at least 5 times a day that he's cute, cool, and shuai. haha i think he is just the opposite. and then i dont quite understand his schoolmates. they seem weird... yeah.. they laugh at stuff that arent really that funny... like... erm in monster-in-law, the guy was using the middle finger and they found that funny. weird people... and i thought ij girls were weird enough, we have finally met our match. haha.
watched mr and mrs smith at lido... again. yea, but i didnt get to catch the initial d trailer. and i bought $61.50 worth of books at sunny bookshop. so happy. haha. anyway, there was again that large poster right across and it really tempted me... joel was with us and he was "insulting" initial d. i wanted to whack him! haha but i didnt. i got that batman begins cap and its pretty cool. and the movie was ultra cool! its like they kept that secret from each other for 5-6 years. and it was uite funny. when jane smith and john smith start to fight, as in physically, i think i was the only one in the theatre giggling away. haha. but anyway. im sorry denise that i didnt watch with you. but i will drag you along to watch initial d! haha... and besides since both of us havent watched madagascar, we can go watch together! haha. btw way the trailer is just half as cool as the movie.
http://www.mrandmrssmithmovie.com
so i didnt spend $8 for nothing. haha.
the farewell party was okay... we soaked our feet in the pool, haha so nice. then we went to novita's room! her hippo is so cute and her dog (toy) is so cute!!! i've never seen debby hug a stuff toy like that before... she was so cute when she was hugging that yellow hippo. wonder if she did that to the big big dog we gave her for her birthday haha. but anyway, i did have fun with the seniors and all... but then i was the only one from the sec 2 batch... matilda came down, to talk to stef... about other stuff, but she left anyway, so i felt so extra and awkward. haha no surprise, well better start to master the art of adapting quickly. o yeah... speaking of the art of so-and-so. i think i have mastered the art of not sleeping for at least a night and not dozing off in the day. well now i'm sick... a cold and my stomach isnt feeling too well either. but i did have fun earlier... it was a pity we didnt really talk to the seniors... but talked among ourselves instead... sigh. and it seems like it's really screwed, real badly. i really do hope we'll all be able to revive what was dead together. and stay like that. sigh.
i guess everything is screwed, but then we still have to find a way to solve whatever problems we have and just start to get along fine... i've gained a little more knowledge today i guess. i've got something more to reflect now. although it's gonna make me all sad again, i guess its good to always reflect.
now my brother and my mother's boyfriend's son (joel) are lying on the floor, eating korean noodles and talking to this girl over the phone. scary... well, i can hear everything because its on the loudspeaker and the entire room can hear what she's saying... and she just called my brother cute... ?!?! gah he isnt.... and his materialis and egoism is just beyond incredible. so he has to tell me at least 5 times a day that he's cute, cool, and shuai. haha i think he is just the opposite. and then i dont quite understand his schoolmates. they seem weird... yeah.. they laugh at stuff that arent really that funny... like... erm in monster-in-law, the guy was using the middle finger and they found that funny. weird people... and i thought ij girls were weird enough, we have finally met our match. haha.
watched mr and mrs smith at lido... again. yea, but i didnt get to catch the initial d trailer. and i bought $61.50 worth of books at sunny bookshop. so happy. haha. anyway, there was again that large poster right across and it really tempted me... joel was with us and he was "insulting" initial d. i wanted to whack him! haha but i didnt. i got that batman begins cap and its pretty cool. and the movie was ultra cool! its like they kept that secret from each other for 5-6 years. and it was uite funny. when jane smith and john smith start to fight, as in physically, i think i was the only one in the theatre giggling away. haha. but anyway. im sorry denise that i didnt watch with you. but i will drag you along to watch initial d! haha... and besides since both of us havent watched madagascar, we can go watch together! haha. btw way the trailer is just half as cool as the movie.
http://www.mrandmrssmithmovie.com
so i didnt spend $8 for nothing. haha.
Friday, June 17, 2005
[Initial D, PG, not M18;happiness]
so i did say i'll post tonight right? but its past 12am.. i am tired...
finished the 1st stage of initial d. well that took me long enough... so i can finally go on with 2nd stage... and then 3rd stage. and im gonna buy the 4th stage. if i dont watch, i will be slightly blur when i watch the movie. and my mother proved it to me it was pg. haha its not obvious.. she was looking at the movie schedules pages and apparently, the heading for the initial d schedule was "INITIAL D(MANDARIN)(PG)" okay... so i'm sure its in chinese. but then i'm still a little confused... what on earth did that m mean? i sure hope it doesnt mean anything. and i found the initial d theme song... by jay chou... well that wasnt surprising. i heard the song in the trailer and yeah... actually chinese rap is better than english rap, although i dont really fancy it. and i dont like techno. its all ove the initial d anime... hmmm never mind... at least the car engines were more appealing to my ears. haha i'm weird. but anyway i decided to watch it next thursday... so it all fits. i suddenly wanted to watch initial d, after borrowing the dvd from my brother's tutor for quite a while... before the exams. actually he was the one who lent it to me, because he noticed the rurouni kenshin dvds and wanted to introduce initial d to me, its just that i didnt find the time to watch it. when i did, the movie's is gonna be released next thursday. and i was dozing off in bus 88 on the way home from class chalet when i first watched the trailer on tv mobile. it woke me up for a minute or two before i dozed off again. haha.
can't wait for initial d. and i'm watching mr an mrs smith tomorrow... and theres the farewell party for steph song tomorrow! haha i cant believe i'm going out tomorrow, and i'm still having a pretty bad cold. i was sneezing away yesterday (wednesday) when i was watching monster-in-law. i'll probably do the same tomorrow. haha, i'm such a loser. okay i was surfing around the eng wah website and i am sure initial d is PG, yay! happiness. i shouldnt be so addicted to it now... because when i start thinking about it, i'm gonna be disappointed for no reason and then sad. well i have this problem. i start to get addicted to something and i can't do without it. yeah it happened so many times. it happened at least 5 times this year. scary... i'm scary. and now the movie's gonna be released next thursday, i just cant get the trailer out of my head. this is bad, and its like i'm addicted to drugs or something. haha.
i know the temperature today was okay... but i felt as though i stepped into a refrigerator or something... maybe it's the cold. and i think i should go sleep to get some rest. i'm gonna bug my brother's tutor about the 2nd stage tomorrow, since he's coming tomorrow. haha joking. maybe not bug but admit its really cool and i love initial d =] good night!
so i did say i'll post tonight right? but its past 12am.. i am tired...
finished the 1st stage of initial d. well that took me long enough... so i can finally go on with 2nd stage... and then 3rd stage. and im gonna buy the 4th stage. if i dont watch, i will be slightly blur when i watch the movie. and my mother proved it to me it was pg. haha its not obvious.. she was looking at the movie schedules pages and apparently, the heading for the initial d schedule was "INITIAL D(MANDARIN)(PG)" okay... so i'm sure its in chinese. but then i'm still a little confused... what on earth did that m mean? i sure hope it doesnt mean anything. and i found the initial d theme song... by jay chou... well that wasnt surprising. i heard the song in the trailer and yeah... actually chinese rap is better than english rap, although i dont really fancy it. and i dont like techno. its all ove the initial d anime... hmmm never mind... at least the car engines were more appealing to my ears. haha i'm weird. but anyway i decided to watch it next thursday... so it all fits. i suddenly wanted to watch initial d, after borrowing the dvd from my brother's tutor for quite a while... before the exams. actually he was the one who lent it to me, because he noticed the rurouni kenshin dvds and wanted to introduce initial d to me, its just that i didnt find the time to watch it. when i did, the movie's is gonna be released next thursday. and i was dozing off in bus 88 on the way home from class chalet when i first watched the trailer on tv mobile. it woke me up for a minute or two before i dozed off again. haha.
can't wait for initial d. and i'm watching mr an mrs smith tomorrow... and theres the farewell party for steph song tomorrow! haha i cant believe i'm going out tomorrow, and i'm still having a pretty bad cold. i was sneezing away yesterday (wednesday) when i was watching monster-in-law. i'll probably do the same tomorrow. haha, i'm such a loser. okay i was surfing around the eng wah website and i am sure initial d is PG, yay! happiness. i shouldnt be so addicted to it now... because when i start thinking about it, i'm gonna be disappointed for no reason and then sad. well i have this problem. i start to get addicted to something and i can't do without it. yeah it happened so many times. it happened at least 5 times this year. scary... i'm scary. and now the movie's gonna be released next thursday, i just cant get the trailer out of my head. this is bad, and its like i'm addicted to drugs or something. haha.
i know the temperature today was okay... but i felt as though i stepped into a refrigerator or something... maybe it's the cold. and i think i should go sleep to get some rest. i'm gonna bug my brother's tutor about the 2nd stage tomorrow, since he's coming tomorrow. haha joking. maybe not bug but admit its really cool and i love initial d =] good night!
Thursday, June 16, 2005
[Initial D, M18? PG?]
i was trying to sleep last night... and yea i was tired, but i sort of forgotten what sleep was and how to go to sleep. i must be having some disorder. a sleeping disorder. i think i sleepwalk, now i forgotten how to sleep. but i did go to sleep after lying there for at least 15mins thinking... haha and i slept for 14 hours... my mother started calling my handphone because i didnt answer the house phone because i was like a pig. haha. so i awoke at 4pm. well... i guess im still a little deprived of sleep. people are supposed to get 8 hours of sleep everyday. and i only had 14 for three days. i was supposed to have 24 hours of sleep... ok... haha. i think im pretty okay... not really tired. except i had weird dreams again. and i was really weird in those dreams. shant talk about it. it really scares me.
so actually my mother called me just to tell me "i checked the website. initial d is pg, not m18" well im not sure about it and i told her sleepily "i'm gonna call to check" so she really checked the website... well i really do hope its pg.... so im checking it out now. hehe.
since i was sleeping for the entire morning, the entire afternoon. so theres nothing to post till night. haha bye!
i was trying to sleep last night... and yea i was tired, but i sort of forgotten what sleep was and how to go to sleep. i must be having some disorder. a sleeping disorder. i think i sleepwalk, now i forgotten how to sleep. but i did go to sleep after lying there for at least 15mins thinking... haha and i slept for 14 hours... my mother started calling my handphone because i didnt answer the house phone because i was like a pig. haha. so i awoke at 4pm. well... i guess im still a little deprived of sleep. people are supposed to get 8 hours of sleep everyday. and i only had 14 for three days. i was supposed to have 24 hours of sleep... ok... haha. i think im pretty okay... not really tired. except i had weird dreams again. and i was really weird in those dreams. shant talk about it. it really scares me.
so actually my mother called me just to tell me "i checked the website. initial d is pg, not m18" well im not sure about it and i told her sleepily "i'm gonna call to check" so she really checked the website... well i really do hope its pg.... so im checking it out now. hehe.
since i was sleeping for the entire morning, the entire afternoon. so theres nothing to post till night. haha bye!
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
[Initial D/Rurouni Kenshin/Monster-In-Law(?)]
was watching monster-in-law with my mum and her bf.. well i didnt wanna watch that movie actually, but i still did in the end. it was okay... quite funny and a little psychotic haha.
just finished watching the rurouni kenshin ovas... haha i only watched 4 episodes.. but i think thats all. its really a sad past, haha. and tomoe died. that was a really sad part. the entire story is just sad. yea... but i still liked it. and zl had to remind me that kenshin died... of cancer. oh fine.. after watching tomoe for i dont know how long, i almost forgot how kaoru looked like. well now i do... but i think tomoe was slightly better than kaoru. but i'm starting to think the ovas were better than the series... for some reason. maybe because i watched the series more than once and i only started watching the ovas today. but i keep thinking there are more than 4 episodes. i downloaded 6, but the last 2 arent working... and kenshin looks better in the ovas, maybe because his hair was nicer... haha ah well, and he was more dao, so that made him look cooler as a 15 year-old. and tomoe was his wife? well shes was 18 i think... oh no... i just realised im watching the prequel... this is ova 1, and theres an ova 2, which is a sequel of what happened after the series. i read the review for ova 2. kaoru and kenshin both contracted an incurable disease (cancer?) and they were married with a child named kenji, haha cute. but anyway... i dont know what the people in the 19th century were thinking... after all, this anime is fictional... it is, right?
i think initial d the movie is m18... gah... because i was watching monster-in-law at lido and mind you, i have never been there before. call me deprived or whatever... but there was this big screen there with the ads and trailers. then i was standing there watching the big screen and there it was, the initial d trailer, sweet! haha so it looks better off the net, but i couldnt hear anything, thats too bad, i think the song by jay chou used for the trailer is not bad. it really goes with the movie and everything. so there is always the name of the movie and the release date at the top right hand corner right? and there was this (m) next to "INITIAL D" so i was "ahhh" ok i didnt screamed but was shocked... because m might mean m18. so i was bugging my mum about whether it was m18, she was watching the trailer with me because she bought the food and was already chasing me to the theatre but i was like stuck to the screen, haha so she said there might be some bad language in it and thats why its m18... because so far, i only know its full of bad language and no other stuff.. you should know what i mean. but samurai x seems to have that... hurhur shant continue... but anyway, there was this huge poster in shaw centre like the ij gratefulness banner in school. then the ushers were wearing initial d tshirts.... haha tempting... and posters of it were everywhere, including that large poster in shaw centre... that was like the first thing i saw the moment i stepped in.... i want to watch initial d!!!! but what if its really m18??? im gonna get the vcd. i will WAIT for it... but who knows my mum might just buy the inoriginal one ahem. even if she did buy it, i'll still wait for the original, the quality will be far better... haha, and when the vcd's out, i'm gonna get my hands on it... RAHHHHHH
it didnt really turn out as a nightmare today... but i am stll worried... gah.........
im gonna stay home tomorrow... i havent slept a wink in 2 days and 2 nights. ok 3 days 2 nights. and i didnt feel tired during the movie earlier... well i'm a little tired now... so im gonna sleep soon and start on my homework soon... because mag seems to be my homework reminder now... she starts mentioning homework everywhere, on her blog, in conversations... well i dont blame her... so its good to have someone remind you once in a while... its different from my parents... because parents just ask us a thousand times a day "have you done your homework?" and i guess that is just the reason why people are irritated, because parents ask the same question over and over again. well, my parents are divorced... and both of my parents dont start asking about my homework. neither do they ask me whether i studied for my exams or test. so it isnt that bad... except the thought of homework is sickening, but still its for our own good... oh man...
ok i'm starting to doze off... i keep doing that, i doze off anytime, in any situation, maybe not any, but most of the time, 98%... thats bad... i dont actually have the habit of dozing off but i just seem to pick it up =] ah well, good night and bye-bye! no lyrics today, too tired to look for nice songs... haha
was watching monster-in-law with my mum and her bf.. well i didnt wanna watch that movie actually, but i still did in the end. it was okay... quite funny and a little psychotic haha.
just finished watching the rurouni kenshin ovas... haha i only watched 4 episodes.. but i think thats all. its really a sad past, haha. and tomoe died. that was a really sad part. the entire story is just sad. yea... but i still liked it. and zl had to remind me that kenshin died... of cancer. oh fine.. after watching tomoe for i dont know how long, i almost forgot how kaoru looked like. well now i do... but i think tomoe was slightly better than kaoru. but i'm starting to think the ovas were better than the series... for some reason. maybe because i watched the series more than once and i only started watching the ovas today. but i keep thinking there are more than 4 episodes. i downloaded 6, but the last 2 arent working... and kenshin looks better in the ovas, maybe because his hair was nicer... haha ah well, and he was more dao, so that made him look cooler as a 15 year-old. and tomoe was his wife? well shes was 18 i think... oh no... i just realised im watching the prequel... this is ova 1, and theres an ova 2, which is a sequel of what happened after the series. i read the review for ova 2. kaoru and kenshin both contracted an incurable disease (cancer?) and they were married with a child named kenji, haha cute. but anyway... i dont know what the people in the 19th century were thinking... after all, this anime is fictional... it is, right?
i think initial d the movie is m18... gah... because i was watching monster-in-law at lido and mind you, i have never been there before. call me deprived or whatever... but there was this big screen there with the ads and trailers. then i was standing there watching the big screen and there it was, the initial d trailer, sweet! haha so it looks better off the net, but i couldnt hear anything, thats too bad, i think the song by jay chou used for the trailer is not bad. it really goes with the movie and everything. so there is always the name of the movie and the release date at the top right hand corner right? and there was this (m) next to "INITIAL D" so i was "ahhh" ok i didnt screamed but was shocked... because m might mean m18. so i was bugging my mum about whether it was m18, she was watching the trailer with me because she bought the food and was already chasing me to the theatre but i was like stuck to the screen, haha so she said there might be some bad language in it and thats why its m18... because so far, i only know its full of bad language and no other stuff.. you should know what i mean. but samurai x seems to have that... hurhur shant continue... but anyway, there was this huge poster in shaw centre like the ij gratefulness banner in school. then the ushers were wearing initial d tshirts.... haha tempting... and posters of it were everywhere, including that large poster in shaw centre... that was like the first thing i saw the moment i stepped in.... i want to watch initial d!!!! but what if its really m18??? im gonna get the vcd. i will WAIT for it... but who knows my mum might just buy the inoriginal one ahem. even if she did buy it, i'll still wait for the original, the quality will be far better... haha, and when the vcd's out, i'm gonna get my hands on it... RAHHHHHH
it didnt really turn out as a nightmare today... but i am stll worried... gah.........
im gonna stay home tomorrow... i havent slept a wink in 2 days and 2 nights. ok 3 days 2 nights. and i didnt feel tired during the movie earlier... well i'm a little tired now... so im gonna sleep soon and start on my homework soon... because mag seems to be my homework reminder now... she starts mentioning homework everywhere, on her blog, in conversations... well i dont blame her... so its good to have someone remind you once in a while... its different from my parents... because parents just ask us a thousand times a day "have you done your homework?" and i guess that is just the reason why people are irritated, because parents ask the same question over and over again. well, my parents are divorced... and both of my parents dont start asking about my homework. neither do they ask me whether i studied for my exams or test. so it isnt that bad... except the thought of homework is sickening, but still its for our own good... oh man...
ok i'm starting to doze off... i keep doing that, i doze off anytime, in any situation, maybe not any, but most of the time, 98%... thats bad... i dont actually have the habit of dozing off but i just seem to pick it up =] ah well, good night and bye-bye! no lyrics today, too tired to look for nice songs... haha
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
[Initial D movie trailer]
after watching the initial d trailer a million times, i still think its super cool, and i really cant wait for the movie!!! haha
denise and i went to mos and sat there for more than an hour talking about ghost stories and horror movies. then we went to the arcade at entertainment centre. we spent $10 on that really dumb game and i didnt get a chance to play initial d because there were so many people playing that and i didnt wanna wait so i gave it a miss, but we had fun, haha. i just realised ts is selling all our stages of the initial d anime. omg... if i buy the vcd, it'll be $101.60 for all four stages. if i bought the dvds, it'll probably cost $154.80? omg.... and im still on first stage. im really slow... and the first time i had seen the initial d movie trailer was on bus 88 on the way back from the class chalet. i think i was watching a different trailer from the one i am watching from the initial d movie website. i hardly watch channel 8 now... so the chance of me seeing the trailer on tv again might be.... ah nvm.
tomorrow might just be a nightmare for me. well, its up to us now julienne! haha cheer up... i'm pretty tired myself... good luck briana.
Kiss From A Rose - Seal
There used to be a greying tower alone on the sea
You, became the light on the dark side of me
Love remains, a drug that's the high and not the pill
But did you know that when it snows
My eyes become large
And the light that you shine can't be seen?
Baby, I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey
Ooh, the more I get of you, the stranger it feels yeah
Now that your rose is in bloom
A light hits the gloom on the grey
There is so much a man can tell you
So much he can say
You remain my power, my pleasure, my pain
Baby, To me, you're like a growing
Addiction that I can't deny
Won't you tell me, is that healthy, baby?
But did you know that when it snows
My eyes become large
And the light that you shine can't be seen?
Baby, I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey
Ooh, the more I get of you, the stranger it feels yeah
Now that your rose is in bloom
A light hits the gloom on the grey
I've been kissed by a rose on the grey
I've been kissed by a rose on the grey
And if I should fall, will it all go away?
There is so much a man can tell you
So much he can say
You remain my power, my pleasure, my pain
Baby, To me, you're like a growing
Addiction that I can't deny
Won't you tell me, is that healthy, baby?
But did you know that when it snows
My eyes become large
And the light that you shine can't be seen?
Baby, I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey
Ooh, the more I get of you, the stranger it feels yeah
Now that your rose is in bloom
A light hits the gloom on the grey
Yes, I compare you a kiss from a rose...
after watching the initial d trailer a million times, i still think its super cool, and i really cant wait for the movie!!! haha
denise and i went to mos and sat there for more than an hour talking about ghost stories and horror movies. then we went to the arcade at entertainment centre. we spent $10 on that really dumb game and i didnt get a chance to play initial d because there were so many people playing that and i didnt wanna wait so i gave it a miss, but we had fun, haha. i just realised ts is selling all our stages of the initial d anime. omg... if i buy the vcd, it'll be $101.60 for all four stages. if i bought the dvds, it'll probably cost $154.80? omg.... and im still on first stage. im really slow... and the first time i had seen the initial d movie trailer was on bus 88 on the way back from the class chalet. i think i was watching a different trailer from the one i am watching from the initial d movie website. i hardly watch channel 8 now... so the chance of me seeing the trailer on tv again might be.... ah nvm.
tomorrow might just be a nightmare for me. well, its up to us now julienne! haha cheer up... i'm pretty tired myself... good luck briana.
Kiss From A Rose - Seal
There used to be a greying tower alone on the sea
You, became the light on the dark side of me
Love remains, a drug that's the high and not the pill
But did you know that when it snows
My eyes become large
And the light that you shine can't be seen?
Baby, I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey
Ooh, the more I get of you, the stranger it feels yeah
Now that your rose is in bloom
A light hits the gloom on the grey
There is so much a man can tell you
So much he can say
You remain my power, my pleasure, my pain
Baby, To me, you're like a growing
Addiction that I can't deny
Won't you tell me, is that healthy, baby?
But did you know that when it snows
My eyes become large
And the light that you shine can't be seen?
Baby, I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey
Ooh, the more I get of you, the stranger it feels yeah
Now that your rose is in bloom
A light hits the gloom on the grey
I've been kissed by a rose on the grey
I've been kissed by a rose on the grey
And if I should fall, will it all go away?
There is so much a man can tell you
So much he can say
You remain my power, my pleasure, my pain
Baby, To me, you're like a growing
Addiction that I can't deny
Won't you tell me, is that healthy, baby?
But did you know that when it snows
My eyes become large
And the light that you shine can't be seen?
Baby, I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey
Ooh, the more I get of you, the stranger it feels yeah
Now that your rose is in bloom
A light hits the gloom on the grey
Yes, I compare you a kiss from a rose...
Monday, June 13, 2005
[irritants]
im irritated now. very very irritated. the thought of homework and **** really kills me and it can also give me nightmares. i have a little of that motivation now. but then i am also in a confusion. everything is lingering in my mind because it hasnt tortured me enough. i might be suffering from amnesia as well, due to the lack of enough vitamins and sleep, okay that doesnt make sense. but if i start forgetting who you are, please forgive me.
im trying my very best to suppress my irritation and anger. im trying my very best to keep cool, to keep calm. i'm very tired... but i wanna throw something. i'm mentally unstable. i'm heating up, soon down with a fever...
im irritated now. very very irritated. the thought of homework and **** really kills me and it can also give me nightmares. i have a little of that motivation now. but then i am also in a confusion. everything is lingering in my mind because it hasnt tortured me enough. i might be suffering from amnesia as well, due to the lack of enough vitamins and sleep, okay that doesnt make sense. but if i start forgetting who you are, please forgive me.
im trying my very best to suppress my irritation and anger. im trying my very best to keep cool, to keep calm. i'm very tired... but i wanna throw something. i'm mentally unstable. i'm heating up, soon down with a fever...
[Initial D]
was watching initial D last night till late late late. its really cool. and i cant wait for the initial d movie. its in chinese/cantonese i think... but i think i would prefer it like that rather in english. dont know why. and i have this weird feeling when i watch initial d. it feels as though im in that fantasy. and i dont eally like it... its making me lose my motivation to work. but its really cool. driving for 5 years since 13 and unknownwingly learns how to drift. thanks to my brother's tutor who lent me the dvd. 10 more days to the release of the movie. cant wait cant wait. the movie is probably the summary of the entire anime, or maybe not. im slow man. still in the first half... the initial d movie website is pretty cool too. and i think they picked the right characters for the movie.
life cannot be anymore duller now... no one at home now. dont know where everyone is... my mum is suppose to be on leave... she's probably at the airport. my brother isnt home too, probably having canoeing training. and where's my grandma? i dont know... maybe out with her friends o something. so im gonna spend the entire day, doing stuff that might just be more productive than now... i feel like junk now. i lost the motivation to do anything. i dont even know what i want to donow. i dont want to slack. i dont want to do anything. neither do i want to do nothing. i'm... weird... very very weird. maybe what i really want now is to get out of this situation of nothingness now. and yea i dont know how to... only a miracle will help now. hmmm i should stop that too haha.
was watching initial D last night till late late late. its really cool. and i cant wait for the initial d movie. its in chinese/cantonese i think... but i think i would prefer it like that rather in english. dont know why. and i have this weird feeling when i watch initial d. it feels as though im in that fantasy. and i dont eally like it... its making me lose my motivation to work. but its really cool. driving for 5 years since 13 and unknownwingly learns how to drift. thanks to my brother's tutor who lent me the dvd. 10 more days to the release of the movie. cant wait cant wait. the movie is probably the summary of the entire anime, or maybe not. im slow man. still in the first half... the initial d movie website is pretty cool too. and i think they picked the right characters for the movie.
life cannot be anymore duller now... no one at home now. dont know where everyone is... my mum is suppose to be on leave... she's probably at the airport. my brother isnt home too, probably having canoeing training. and where's my grandma? i dont know... maybe out with her friends o something. so im gonna spend the entire day, doing stuff that might just be more productive than now... i feel like junk now. i lost the motivation to do anything. i dont even know what i want to donow. i dont want to slack. i dont want to do anything. neither do i want to do nothing. i'm... weird... very very weird. maybe what i really want now is to get out of this situation of nothingness now. and yea i dont know how to... only a miracle will help now. hmmm i should stop that too haha.
Saturday, June 11, 2005
[3 for $1!!!!!]
the jumble sale at ymca today was really fun and we raised lots of money, yay! i was helping at the book stall, then the toys stall and lastly, the women clothes stall. it was quite fun selling books. and i want that entire set of history reference books on world war II. its a complete set of 10 books costing $5 each book and $40 for the entire set. i was really broke so i couldnt buy it. sigh... then i bought toys and a book. the clothes were a little dusty, but because there were so many clothes , it accumulates. haha, emily couldnt stop sneezing. then lunch was pretty yummy too, haha. i really had fun today.
i feel like im really racing against time now. i have spent 4 minutes blogging so far. and everything done by wednesday. after wednesday, i can lift that heavy load off my mind temporarily. sigh... i feel like im going solo now. everyone is not in town. so many people going to bangkok and hong kong. maybe its fun there... haha im not going anywhere... but i really wanna go to east coast asap. i think i sort of missed the beach there. i spent about 4 years of my life there. well, when i was younger, i always have this fixed schedule. everyday during the weekdays, at 4pm, my maid will bring m brother and i down to the playground. and every weekend, i will go to the beach. so it was really upsetting when i had to move to toa payoh because i was like attached to east coast. but now, im attached to toa payoh... haha dont know why...
i think i really need to catch up on my sleep. i didnt sleep enough during the chalet, only a few hours for a few days. then i still havent slept much after the chalet until now. and finally, now, i can't sleep. speaking of sleeping, i think i was sleepwalking last night... i think only. because i either fell asleep on the table, the bed of went out to sleep on the sofa. but when i awoke this morning, i found myself on the sofa. so... i think i was sleepwalking. well its scary. at least im not as bad as my brother.. he once opened the gate while sleepwalking and fortunately, my mother realised. yea...
my msn space thingy is gone. i dont know why but when i signed into msn earlier, msn plus was just gone, vanished. so i downloaded it again, but its gone. i cant remember the url, so i cant do anything about it.
i try not to think about it. i will not think about it. i will not think about it. i better stop trying so hard, because i really regret it now, but i cant stop. everytime someone falls, i fall along with them.
i can't seem to break free
its amazing how quick someone's attitude can change. i might just be one of those people. sigh.
Sympathy - Goo Goo Dolls
Stranger than your sympathy
This is my apology
I'm killing myself from the inside out
And all my fears have pushed you out
I wish for things that I don't need
All I wanted
And what I chase won't set me free
All I wanted
And I get scared but I'm not crawling on my knees
Oh yeah everything's all wrong yeah
Everything's all wrong yeah
Where the hell did I think I was
Stranger than your sympathy
I take these things so I don't feel
I'm killing myself from the inside out
Now my head's been filled with doubt
It's hard to lead the life you choose
All I wanted
When all your luck's run out on you
All I wanted
You can't see when all your dreams are coming true
Oh yeah it's easy to forget yeah
You choke on the regrets yeah
Who the hell did I think I was
Stranger than your sympathy
All these thoughts you stole from me
I'm not sure where I belong
Nowhere's home and I'm all wrong
And I wasn't all the things
I tried to make believe I was
And I wouldn't be the one to kneel
Before the dreams I wanted
And all the talk and all the lies
Were all the empty things disguised as me
Yeah stranger than your sympathy stranger than your sympathy
the jumble sale at ymca today was really fun and we raised lots of money, yay! i was helping at the book stall, then the toys stall and lastly, the women clothes stall. it was quite fun selling books. and i want that entire set of history reference books on world war II. its a complete set of 10 books costing $5 each book and $40 for the entire set. i was really broke so i couldnt buy it. sigh... then i bought toys and a book. the clothes were a little dusty, but because there were so many clothes , it accumulates. haha, emily couldnt stop sneezing. then lunch was pretty yummy too, haha. i really had fun today.
i feel like im really racing against time now. i have spent 4 minutes blogging so far. and everything done by wednesday. after wednesday, i can lift that heavy load off my mind temporarily. sigh... i feel like im going solo now. everyone is not in town. so many people going to bangkok and hong kong. maybe its fun there... haha im not going anywhere... but i really wanna go to east coast asap. i think i sort of missed the beach there. i spent about 4 years of my life there. well, when i was younger, i always have this fixed schedule. everyday during the weekdays, at 4pm, my maid will bring m brother and i down to the playground. and every weekend, i will go to the beach. so it was really upsetting when i had to move to toa payoh because i was like attached to east coast. but now, im attached to toa payoh... haha dont know why...
i think i really need to catch up on my sleep. i didnt sleep enough during the chalet, only a few hours for a few days. then i still havent slept much after the chalet until now. and finally, now, i can't sleep. speaking of sleeping, i think i was sleepwalking last night... i think only. because i either fell asleep on the table, the bed of went out to sleep on the sofa. but when i awoke this morning, i found myself on the sofa. so... i think i was sleepwalking. well its scary. at least im not as bad as my brother.. he once opened the gate while sleepwalking and fortunately, my mother realised. yea...
my msn space thingy is gone. i dont know why but when i signed into msn earlier, msn plus was just gone, vanished. so i downloaded it again, but its gone. i cant remember the url, so i cant do anything about it.
i try not to think about it. i will not think about it. i will not think about it. i better stop trying so hard, because i really regret it now, but i cant stop. everytime someone falls, i fall along with them.
i can't seem to break free
its amazing how quick someone's attitude can change. i might just be one of those people. sigh.
Sympathy - Goo Goo Dolls
Stranger than your sympathy
This is my apology
I'm killing myself from the inside out
And all my fears have pushed you out
I wish for things that I don't need
All I wanted
And what I chase won't set me free
All I wanted
And I get scared but I'm not crawling on my knees
Oh yeah everything's all wrong yeah
Everything's all wrong yeah
Where the hell did I think I was
Stranger than your sympathy
I take these things so I don't feel
I'm killing myself from the inside out
Now my head's been filled with doubt
It's hard to lead the life you choose
All I wanted
When all your luck's run out on you
All I wanted
You can't see when all your dreams are coming true
Oh yeah it's easy to forget yeah
You choke on the regrets yeah
Who the hell did I think I was
Stranger than your sympathy
All these thoughts you stole from me
I'm not sure where I belong
Nowhere's home and I'm all wrong
And I wasn't all the things
I tried to make believe I was
And I wouldn't be the one to kneel
Before the dreams I wanted
And all the talk and all the lies
Were all the empty things disguised as me
Yeah stranger than your sympathy stranger than your sympathy
Thursday, June 09, 2005
[sorry]
the class chalet was fun, even though there were only 14 people or so.
gretchen, geraldine and i went to escape theme park in the morning together. the haunted house was really scaring the wits out of me. i think i just freaked out after taking the first step through the door. besides, i had this phobia... so it was really a bad idea... haha. then we went to wild wild wet. we tried searching for michelle and cherlynn there but we didnt since the place was huge. so we were queing for the waterworks when we saw them with kimberly, and we had so much fun together. we were floating on the shiok river, hanging on to each other. then theres the tsunami pool, when we were "drowning" and trying to swim in there. there was the u-lah lar where everyone sat together in this large float and down we went, we went for it so many times to try get the yellow float, haha. there was the samsung slide up, that was the coolest... we had to slide down from at least 30m or higher and then slide up and down, up and down. geraldine sort of overcame her fear and i had the courage to slide all the way down, which was of course really scary. but with the help of that stupid lifeguard, who was laughing and making fun of us, made us less afraid i guess, he was also the one who helped geraldine. i think the three of us really had a great time together and i think that it really helped bonded us really well, although there were only 6 of us. haha. we were so typical ij and it was really fun.
and the three of us spent more than 2 hours in the arcade. they made me play the para para machine that i had this really bad muscle-ache the next day, and now. i did very badly of course, wasting so much money. gretchen, charissa, danielle and i were bowling at the bowling alley on the first day, or rather the first night. we played two games, which cost $35.20, and yes, it was only the four of us playing only two games. i was second for first game and first for second game. it was like a real tough competition with dan, but then again, we werent really competing. gretchen and charissa were really getting bored with the ball in the gutter so they rolled their ball into the gutter on purpose. gretchen's ball got stuck so she tried getting another ball to push it out, but it didnt work so when dan was playing with the ball in the gutter, her ball hit gretchen's ball and went in the other direction. charissa saved the day in the end. haha.
not to forget i was really lame the moment i opened my eyes in the morning on the second day. i started telling them what happened at night when i went over to the other room to watch constantine with priscilla's friends because they took gretchen's dvd player and i was actually sandwiched in between gretchen and dawn on the bed. so i went over to wait for them to finish watching the movie so i could bring the dvd player back and it was difficult looking for another place to sleep, but i still climbed up the bed and tried to squeeze in there without dawn and gretchen waking up. i succeeded. and it was 5am already. i had like 3 hours of sleep, and when i awoke, we spent more than an hour cracking lame jokes and telling stories.
i didnt expect to have this much fun, really. with that number of people. but i did have fun, that was the most important of course. the fun we had at wild wild wet really served the whole purpose of this chalet.
downloading the new gunbound now. i have no idea why i can access the website now. but anyway i did.
i feel like a total loser and a lagger. yes i do, there are others who are so far ahead, beyond my reach and i'm still a sitting duck.
this is simply why im just trying to close every door now, okay. because people do things without thinking. especially things that just completely crush people. they do things that crush people without realising it. and people just dont care. then again, they do not realise how much the people around them care, but go on doing anything and practically everything that harms. argh.
i'm sorry.
the class chalet was fun, even though there were only 14 people or so.
gretchen, geraldine and i went to escape theme park in the morning together. the haunted house was really scaring the wits out of me. i think i just freaked out after taking the first step through the door. besides, i had this phobia... so it was really a bad idea... haha. then we went to wild wild wet. we tried searching for michelle and cherlynn there but we didnt since the place was huge. so we were queing for the waterworks when we saw them with kimberly, and we had so much fun together. we were floating on the shiok river, hanging on to each other. then theres the tsunami pool, when we were "drowning" and trying to swim in there. there was the u-lah lar where everyone sat together in this large float and down we went, we went for it so many times to try get the yellow float, haha. there was the samsung slide up, that was the coolest... we had to slide down from at least 30m or higher and then slide up and down, up and down. geraldine sort of overcame her fear and i had the courage to slide all the way down, which was of course really scary. but with the help of that stupid lifeguard, who was laughing and making fun of us, made us less afraid i guess, he was also the one who helped geraldine. i think the three of us really had a great time together and i think that it really helped bonded us really well, although there were only 6 of us. haha. we were so typical ij and it was really fun.
and the three of us spent more than 2 hours in the arcade. they made me play the para para machine that i had this really bad muscle-ache the next day, and now. i did very badly of course, wasting so much money. gretchen, charissa, danielle and i were bowling at the bowling alley on the first day, or rather the first night. we played two games, which cost $35.20, and yes, it was only the four of us playing only two games. i was second for first game and first for second game. it was like a real tough competition with dan, but then again, we werent really competing. gretchen and charissa were really getting bored with the ball in the gutter so they rolled their ball into the gutter on purpose. gretchen's ball got stuck so she tried getting another ball to push it out, but it didnt work so when dan was playing with the ball in the gutter, her ball hit gretchen's ball and went in the other direction. charissa saved the day in the end. haha.
not to forget i was really lame the moment i opened my eyes in the morning on the second day. i started telling them what happened at night when i went over to the other room to watch constantine with priscilla's friends because they took gretchen's dvd player and i was actually sandwiched in between gretchen and dawn on the bed. so i went over to wait for them to finish watching the movie so i could bring the dvd player back and it was difficult looking for another place to sleep, but i still climbed up the bed and tried to squeeze in there without dawn and gretchen waking up. i succeeded. and it was 5am already. i had like 3 hours of sleep, and when i awoke, we spent more than an hour cracking lame jokes and telling stories.
i didnt expect to have this much fun, really. with that number of people. but i did have fun, that was the most important of course. the fun we had at wild wild wet really served the whole purpose of this chalet.
downloading the new gunbound now. i have no idea why i can access the website now. but anyway i did.
i feel like a total loser and a lagger. yes i do, there are others who are so far ahead, beyond my reach and i'm still a sitting duck.
this is simply why im just trying to close every door now, okay. because people do things without thinking. especially things that just completely crush people. they do things that crush people without realising it. and people just dont care. then again, they do not realise how much the people around them care, but go on doing anything and practically everything that harms. argh.
i'm sorry.
Sunday, June 05, 2005
[sigh.]
in a few hours, i won't be here. yes, like mag, im gonna vanish into thin air. ok... lame... haha its the 2/3 class chalet. well i wouldnt exactly call it a CLASS chalet, but i'll still call it a chalet, because it is after all, a CHALET. for those not going without a valid reason, but a lame excuse like "oh, i cant go because i dont wanna go, it'll be boring", well its up to you if you wanna think that way, because im not gonna care about you anymore. thank you. i think my two days of rambling is just sufficient. or maybe something like "oh... because i have something on" and when i ask why, "oh... ermm" and then hesitation.... "oh i just cant". okay... i'm just gonna believe you and forget it.
i can feel my brain turning into goo, remember that? haha
corrinne may is a good singer, a good songwriter. haha i realized i have nothing to say. haha good night!
in a few hours, i won't be here. yes, like mag, im gonna vanish into thin air. ok... lame... haha its the 2/3 class chalet. well i wouldnt exactly call it a CLASS chalet, but i'll still call it a chalet, because it is after all, a CHALET. for those not going without a valid reason, but a lame excuse like "oh, i cant go because i dont wanna go, it'll be boring", well its up to you if you wanna think that way, because im not gonna care about you anymore. thank you. i think my two days of rambling is just sufficient. or maybe something like "oh... because i have something on" and when i ask why, "oh... ermm" and then hesitation.... "oh i just cant". okay... i'm just gonna believe you and forget it.
i can feel my brain turning into goo, remember that? haha
corrinne may is a good singer, a good songwriter. haha i realized i have nothing to say. haha good night!
[leave right now]
you know what? im very pissed, about to explode. yes i am. but i will keep calm, keep calm.
it has drained all of my energy now. yes it has. i dont want anymore smses on i cant go, and questions on the things i have said a million times. i dont want anymore phone calls about it. i dont want them anymore! I DON'T WANT THEM!
the fact that im really irritated, annoyed, sick and tired, and really pissed off, i am really mad why i even have to give in to them. why did i have to do as they say, to do this for them when i already know i am causing trouble myself, putting myself at risk. im sick and tired. when i took on this job, i knew this would have happened. why did i even do it then? why am i too stupid to take on this? when will i ever learn? my pain, all of your pleasure. they never understood. they never did and will never understand. they dont even appreciate it in the first place right?
i wished i was on a holiday, away from things here to somewhere else further. like the people in town now. i really need that break, now.
my happy friend isnt here today... ah well
Everything In It's Time - Corrinne May (Written by Corrinne May)
Sometimes I wonder what lies ahead
How long till my hunger is fed
They say it's hard to make it in this part of town
So many people on this merry-go-round
Some folks try astrology
Some turn to crystal balls
To find an answer,
To get through it all
I just fall on my knees and I try to pray
In the silence I can hear Him say
The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time
I often feel like I'm two steps behind
Somebody must have moved that finish line
There are a thousand reasons
Why I should give up
But I'm stubborn in the things I believe
The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
'cause maybe there's another plan
One I still can't see
A little surprise, like your love in my life
Funny how time changes how we see
The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time
Everything in its time
you know what? im very pissed, about to explode. yes i am. but i will keep calm, keep calm.
it has drained all of my energy now. yes it has. i dont want anymore smses on i cant go, and questions on the things i have said a million times. i dont want anymore phone calls about it. i dont want them anymore! I DON'T WANT THEM!
the fact that im really irritated, annoyed, sick and tired, and really pissed off, i am really mad why i even have to give in to them. why did i have to do as they say, to do this for them when i already know i am causing trouble myself, putting myself at risk. im sick and tired. when i took on this job, i knew this would have happened. why did i even do it then? why am i too stupid to take on this? when will i ever learn? my pain, all of your pleasure. they never understood. they never did and will never understand. they dont even appreciate it in the first place right?
i wished i was on a holiday, away from things here to somewhere else further. like the people in town now. i really need that break, now.
my happy friend isnt here today... ah well
Everything In It's Time - Corrinne May (Written by Corrinne May)
Sometimes I wonder what lies ahead
How long till my hunger is fed
They say it's hard to make it in this part of town
So many people on this merry-go-round
Some folks try astrology
Some turn to crystal balls
To find an answer,
To get through it all
I just fall on my knees and I try to pray
In the silence I can hear Him say
The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time
I often feel like I'm two steps behind
Somebody must have moved that finish line
There are a thousand reasons
Why I should give up
But I'm stubborn in the things I believe
The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
'cause maybe there's another plan
One I still can't see
A little surprise, like your love in my life
Funny how time changes how we see
The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time
Everything in its time
Saturday, June 04, 2005
[heaven knows i'm falling]
to liz and matilda: heyhey! if you're reading this anywhere anytime, i want to wish the both of you all the best! and have fun in bangkok. like mag said, she might even go there to support both of you! haha
------------------------------
just when i look at things as they were good, it starts to turn bad. i would like to lock myself up for a change. really...
now that one of our duplex halets are gonna be rented out to priscilla's sister, i feel really guilty. but then we were left with no choice. so again, i will post about this on the class blog and everyone will hate me even more. i need a disguise to hide all these, the frustraion, the pain. its draining my energy now. im soon on my knees. then everything blacks out.
its the way i looked at it. how much it changed, and how quick it changed. 2/3 is fickle, thats all, only one word. FICKLE. i'm really tired trying to save everything and i feel all these are worthless. then next, i will have to also settle 2/3's financial problems. i know i have to settle my own problems on my own, im not suppose to drag anyone down with me, but i will drag this blog down. im sorry blog. i can only express it here. how mad i am, how exhausted i am. so much to do, for only a small class comm member. sigh... i tried so hard for a year, now im trying hard to stop trying so hard, but i cant help it. it's like a habit no, an irritable habit. a habit so difficult to kick.
again, im trying so hard to be a much more cheerful person, to look more on the bright side. am i failing? i can tell..
im a bad leader, admit it briana, you are not bad leader, you're the worst. worst that ever existed. i should stop it. stop it. stop everything that happen, i dont care what they will say, just stop everything. i want to go somewhere far away, far away from all these. but that is running away. i know i fight my own problems, i dont leave them to others to fight them with me or for me. even though im about to breathe my last breath, i dont care.
it was never meant to go this way, but it did anyway. i cant do anything about it except watch.
Save Me - Corrinne May (Written by Corrine May)
I drift I burn, I fly
When you sing lullabies
I'm helpless, I'm yearning
I'm like putty in your hands
I laugh, I dream, I cry
When you take me on a rollercoaster ride
You see me through and through
You see just who I am
Just take my hand and
Save me from this place
Heaven knows I'm falling
For you, my sweet embrace
Heaven knows
Heaven knows I've been waiting for you
I had a dream that I
Was falling from the sky
At 90 miles an hour
I was bound to crash and die
But out of nowhere you came and rescued me
There must be some grace in the touch of your face
I'm so happy that I've found you
I'm no longer afraid
Oh 'cause you
Save me from this place
Heaven knows I'm falling
For you my sweet embrace
Heaven knows
Heaven knows I've been waiting
Before I met you
Life was slow-mo
So slow-mo
I thought I had it figured out
But you came and turned my whole world upside down
Save me from this place
Heaven knows I'm falling
For you, my sweet embrace
Heaven knows
Heaven knows you've come to
Save me from this place
Heaven knows I'm falling
For you, my sweet embrace
Heaven knows
Heaven knows I've been waiting for you
Waiting for you
to liz and matilda: heyhey! if you're reading this anywhere anytime, i want to wish the both of you all the best! and have fun in bangkok. like mag said, she might even go there to support both of you! haha
------------------------------
just when i look at things as they were good, it starts to turn bad. i would like to lock myself up for a change. really...
now that one of our duplex halets are gonna be rented out to priscilla's sister, i feel really guilty. but then we were left with no choice. so again, i will post about this on the class blog and everyone will hate me even more. i need a disguise to hide all these, the frustraion, the pain. its draining my energy now. im soon on my knees. then everything blacks out.
its the way i looked at it. how much it changed, and how quick it changed. 2/3 is fickle, thats all, only one word. FICKLE. i'm really tired trying to save everything and i feel all these are worthless. then next, i will have to also settle 2/3's financial problems. i know i have to settle my own problems on my own, im not suppose to drag anyone down with me, but i will drag this blog down. im sorry blog. i can only express it here. how mad i am, how exhausted i am. so much to do, for only a small class comm member. sigh... i tried so hard for a year, now im trying hard to stop trying so hard, but i cant help it. it's like a habit no, an irritable habit. a habit so difficult to kick.
again, im trying so hard to be a much more cheerful person, to look more on the bright side. am i failing? i can tell..
im a bad leader, admit it briana, you are not bad leader, you're the worst. worst that ever existed. i should stop it. stop it. stop everything that happen, i dont care what they will say, just stop everything. i want to go somewhere far away, far away from all these. but that is running away. i know i fight my own problems, i dont leave them to others to fight them with me or for me. even though im about to breathe my last breath, i dont care.
it was never meant to go this way, but it did anyway. i cant do anything about it except watch.
Save Me - Corrinne May (Written by Corrine May)
I drift I burn, I fly
When you sing lullabies
I'm helpless, I'm yearning
I'm like putty in your hands
I laugh, I dream, I cry
When you take me on a rollercoaster ride
You see me through and through
You see just who I am
Just take my hand and
Save me from this place
Heaven knows I'm falling
For you, my sweet embrace
Heaven knows
Heaven knows I've been waiting for you
I had a dream that I
Was falling from the sky
At 90 miles an hour
I was bound to crash and die
But out of nowhere you came and rescued me
There must be some grace in the touch of your face
I'm so happy that I've found you
I'm no longer afraid
Oh 'cause you
Save me from this place
Heaven knows I'm falling
For you my sweet embrace
Heaven knows
Heaven knows I've been waiting
Before I met you
Life was slow-mo
So slow-mo
I thought I had it figured out
But you came and turned my whole world upside down
Save me from this place
Heaven knows I'm falling
For you, my sweet embrace
Heaven knows
Heaven knows you've come to
Save me from this place
Heaven knows I'm falling
For you, my sweet embrace
Heaven knows
Heaven knows I've been waiting for you
Waiting for you
[my pain, your pleasure]
so the chalet's back on... but then im still at a loss. im always like that! thats is one of the reasons why i find myself so irritating. i never understood anything, never got things done. so me being at a loss now is just something usual. sigh... its like everything is running out of time and im still like a sitting duck. sigh... whatever it is... i really hope i will start having less sms-es and calls about his until monday..
i feel like a total idiot. okay i really do now. i better stop the rambling. i am already getting on my own nerves.
if # understood what % meant, world peace. but then # doesnt know how % fell, thus making % feel -. this - feeling is really hurting to %. # gets to do whatever # want/s or whatever # like/s.
so the chalet's back on... but then im still at a loss. im always like that! thats is one of the reasons why i find myself so irritating. i never understood anything, never got things done. so me being at a loss now is just something usual. sigh... its like everything is running out of time and im still like a sitting duck. sigh... whatever it is... i really hope i will start having less sms-es and calls about his until monday..
i feel like a total idiot. okay i really do now. i better stop the rambling. i am already getting on my own nerves.
if # understood what % meant, world peace. but then # doesnt know how % fell, thus making % feel -. this - feeling is really hurting to %. # gets to do whatever # want/s or whatever # like/s.
Thursday, June 02, 2005
[day 02]
today was a really fun day. i really liked the fish farm, even though it looked like it was about to fall apart, but it was pretty cool. there were jellyfishes, aka squishies, there. there were pufferfishes, catfishes, horseshoe crabs and many more. there was this species that could shoot water. so actually, that person so of lke put a food (fish) on the edge of the plank right across the pond and the fishes will shoot the food and it will drop into the water and the other fishes will scramble for it too. it was really cool and we bought so much cuttlefish and gum there. i bought this bottle of chili for my grandma, prawn crackers and cuttlefish.
lunch was really cute. we didnt touch the prawns. i didnt think anyone would wanna eat the prawns. we liked the veggies much more than the prawns and other dishes. and beatrice's camera was "haunted" since she tried to take a photo of geraldine across the table and it was really clear to everyone there were people hanging around behind geraldine, but there were no one. then her camera made all of us looked funny, like my group photo with dan and shar. dan and shar looked like white wings, with me in between, and that really funny yellow round thing above my head, which looked like a halo, made me look like angel, it was rather scary lar... and it still made us look funny because our faces were stretched. haha
i didnt know there were even species of pineapples until today. there is the smallest pineapple in the world, which is about 7cm in height, but its an ornamental plant. and there are weird looking pineapples which looked mutated but cute, haha
i am very tired now. had like about 4hours of sleep for two days. im really tired, like i said, its amazing how i can hang on till now. but of course, hte 4hours excluding the moment when i was sleeping on the bus in malaysia and stuff. celine even took a picture of me sleeping, how scary...
everybody's going CRAZY
today was a really fun day. i really liked the fish farm, even though it looked like it was about to fall apart, but it was pretty cool. there were jellyfishes, aka squishies, there. there were pufferfishes, catfishes, horseshoe crabs and many more. there was this species that could shoot water. so actually, that person so of lke put a food (fish) on the edge of the plank right across the pond and the fishes will shoot the food and it will drop into the water and the other fishes will scramble for it too. it was really cool and we bought so much cuttlefish and gum there. i bought this bottle of chili for my grandma, prawn crackers and cuttlefish.
lunch was really cute. we didnt touch the prawns. i didnt think anyone would wanna eat the prawns. we liked the veggies much more than the prawns and other dishes. and beatrice's camera was "haunted" since she tried to take a photo of geraldine across the table and it was really clear to everyone there were people hanging around behind geraldine, but there were no one. then her camera made all of us looked funny, like my group photo with dan and shar. dan and shar looked like white wings, with me in between, and that really funny yellow round thing above my head, which looked like a halo, made me look like angel, it was rather scary lar... and it still made us look funny because our faces were stretched. haha
i didnt know there were even species of pineapples until today. there is the smallest pineapple in the world, which is about 7cm in height, but its an ornamental plant. and there are weird looking pineapples which looked mutated but cute, haha
i am very tired now. had like about 4hours of sleep for two days. im really tired, like i said, its amazing how i can hang on till now. but of course, hte 4hours excluding the moment when i was sleeping on the bus in malaysia and stuff. celine even took a picture of me sleeping, how scary...
everybody's going CRAZY
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
[dancing on the kitchen tiles]
im like going to die now... maybe my eye balls will pop out for all i care. i'm super tired. didnt sleep last night. fell asleep while making the rocket for science camp and fell asleep when doing the evaluation form. geez... can sleep anywhere huh? i pretty much enjoyed the leaf bookmark more than the rocket, even though i cant help but admit it was super cool, to see something made of only plastic fly like a thousand feet into the sky... okay, it was exaggerated, but it was really cool to see something fly so high and so far away. my group was the slakiest. lynette and priscilla sat around whenever they could. but i brought the rocket home. it was cool launching the rocket.
the leaf bookmark was the most interesting, even though it cant fly 1000 feet into the sky. we boiled the leaves into a really concentrated. dont know what it was. consisted of sodium hydroxide, sodium carbonate and water. what is it anyay?
sodium hydroxide + sodium carbonate + water -> ????????
never mind... but it removed all the tissues except the xylem tissues of the leaves, then we had to use painting brushes to remove the lamina and what was left were just the xylem tubes and all you have is like the skeleton of the leaf, pretty cool, then we dipped it in a bleaching solution and finally painting it or rather dyed it of different colours and hung them to dry. mine was really ugly since i was in a rush and didnt care about the colours. just made use of a few colours and thats all. what was difficult about this was the prevention of holes in the leaf, mine had a few, which made me horribly upset, okay exaggerating again, but i got over it, haha.
second and last day of science camp tomorrow, we are going to jb! haha so fun. i really wonder how my phone is gonna work there. now that my mum said it wouldnt work because she didnt apply the auto-roam for me and geraldine said something about being able to survive with or without it when out of town.
so... according to the itinerary, we're going to the floating fish farm... haha cool, so many fishes! haha so cute. actually not all fishes are cute. im pretty freaked out by those huge fishes in the tanks at on of the restaurants at united square, let alone eat with them... i cant eat with them, because their size, although ten times smaller than i am, is really scary to me, and intimidates me, as though its gonna come after me, thats on my mind when im eating at that restaurant, haha. but i like the cute small ones. guppies die so easily, lost count of the number of guppies i reared. it was amazing how esti's guppies could even breed, when mine cant even surviv two weeks at my home. after the fish farm, 2 hour lunch... really wonder what we're eating man, since its gonna take us that long... haha no lar... oh then theres the pineapple research centre. cool, pineapples! haha that doesnt mean anything actually and is not suppose to mean anything haha. we'll be going to an oil palm plantation. ok that is like totally new so it's probably gonna be as fun. then we'll be visiting a rubber plantation and "be enlightened on the growing and tapping of rubbe trees" haha that is straight from the booklet.
something is finally done to "promote" the class chalet and i hope this "promotion" will sort of work. next week, and we have only a mere 3 days left. im starting to worry, this is bad, this catastrophe has sucked most of my life and has left me a quarter dead, and mind you, thats close to dead and worse than half dead. sigh...
okay enough blogging, i try not to work tonight. i need that sleep. i can feel myself slowly morphing into a nocturnal animal haha. new speces. nocturnal humans, or probably a much more interesting name =]
------------------------------------------------
Give Unto Me - Evanscence
I've been watching you from a distance
The distance sees through your disguise
All I want from you is your hurting
I want to heal you
I want to save you from the dark
Give unto me your troubles
I'll endure your suffering
Place onto me your burden
I'll drink your deadly poison
Why should I care if they hurt you
Somehow it matters more to me
Than if I were hurting myself
Save you (save you)
I'll save you
Give unto me your troubles
I'll endure your suffering
Place onto me your burden
I'll drink your deadly poison
Fear not the flame of my love's candle
Let it be the sun in your world of darkness
Give unto me all that frightens you
I'll have your nightmares for you
If you sleep soundly
Give unto me your troubles
I'll endure your suffering
Place onto me your burden
I'll drink your deadly poison
Fear not the flame of my love's candle
Let it be the sun in your world of darkness
Give unto me all that frightens you
I'll have your nightmares for you
If you sleep soundly
Fear not the flame of my love's candle
Let it be the sun in your world of darkness
------------------------------------------------
another night of pondering huh? maybe... if # would stop doing that to herself, if % stopped pointing fingers at herself, maybe i didnt need to be so worried for everything and mostly everyone. sigh...
im like going to die now... maybe my eye balls will pop out for all i care. i'm super tired. didnt sleep last night. fell asleep while making the rocket for science camp and fell asleep when doing the evaluation form. geez... can sleep anywhere huh? i pretty much enjoyed the leaf bookmark more than the rocket, even though i cant help but admit it was super cool, to see something made of only plastic fly like a thousand feet into the sky... okay, it was exaggerated, but it was really cool to see something fly so high and so far away. my group was the slakiest. lynette and priscilla sat around whenever they could. but i brought the rocket home. it was cool launching the rocket.
the leaf bookmark was the most interesting, even though it cant fly 1000 feet into the sky. we boiled the leaves into a really concentrated. dont know what it was. consisted of sodium hydroxide, sodium carbonate and water. what is it anyay?
sodium hydroxide + sodium carbonate + water -> ????????
never mind... but it removed all the tissues except the xylem tissues of the leaves, then we had to use painting brushes to remove the lamina and what was left were just the xylem tubes and all you have is like the skeleton of the leaf, pretty cool, then we dipped it in a bleaching solution and finally painting it or rather dyed it of different colours and hung them to dry. mine was really ugly since i was in a rush and didnt care about the colours. just made use of a few colours and thats all. what was difficult about this was the prevention of holes in the leaf, mine had a few, which made me horribly upset, okay exaggerating again, but i got over it, haha.
second and last day of science camp tomorrow, we are going to jb! haha so fun. i really wonder how my phone is gonna work there. now that my mum said it wouldnt work because she didnt apply the auto-roam for me and geraldine said something about being able to survive with or without it when out of town.
so... according to the itinerary, we're going to the floating fish farm... haha cool, so many fishes! haha so cute. actually not all fishes are cute. im pretty freaked out by those huge fishes in the tanks at on of the restaurants at united square, let alone eat with them... i cant eat with them, because their size, although ten times smaller than i am, is really scary to me, and intimidates me, as though its gonna come after me, thats on my mind when im eating at that restaurant, haha. but i like the cute small ones. guppies die so easily, lost count of the number of guppies i reared. it was amazing how esti's guppies could even breed, when mine cant even surviv two weeks at my home. after the fish farm, 2 hour lunch... really wonder what we're eating man, since its gonna take us that long... haha no lar... oh then theres the pineapple research centre. cool, pineapples! haha that doesnt mean anything actually and is not suppose to mean anything haha. we'll be going to an oil palm plantation. ok that is like totally new so it's probably gonna be as fun. then we'll be visiting a rubber plantation and "be enlightened on the growing and tapping of rubbe trees" haha that is straight from the booklet.
something is finally done to "promote" the class chalet and i hope this "promotion" will sort of work. next week, and we have only a mere 3 days left. im starting to worry, this is bad, this catastrophe has sucked most of my life and has left me a quarter dead, and mind you, thats close to dead and worse than half dead. sigh...
okay enough blogging, i try not to work tonight. i need that sleep. i can feel myself slowly morphing into a nocturnal animal haha. new speces. nocturnal humans, or probably a much more interesting name =]
------------------------------------------------
Give Unto Me - Evanscence
I've been watching you from a distance
The distance sees through your disguise
All I want from you is your hurting
I want to heal you
I want to save you from the dark
Give unto me your troubles
I'll endure your suffering
Place onto me your burden
I'll drink your deadly poison
Why should I care if they hurt you
Somehow it matters more to me
Than if I were hurting myself
Save you (save you)
I'll save you
Give unto me your troubles
I'll endure your suffering
Place onto me your burden
I'll drink your deadly poison
Fear not the flame of my love's candle
Let it be the sun in your world of darkness
Give unto me all that frightens you
I'll have your nightmares for you
If you sleep soundly
Give unto me your troubles
I'll endure your suffering
Place onto me your burden
I'll drink your deadly poison
Fear not the flame of my love's candle
Let it be the sun in your world of darkness
Give unto me all that frightens you
I'll have your nightmares for you
If you sleep soundly
Fear not the flame of my love's candle
Let it be the sun in your world of darkness
------------------------------------------------
another night of pondering huh? maybe... if # would stop doing that to herself, if % stopped pointing fingers at herself, maybe i didnt need to be so worried for everything and mostly everyone. sigh...
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
[condemned]
okay, now i know the entire class is gonna hate me, for i was the one who posted the message about the chalet being postponed. what am i saying? im pretty much hated by everyone. so i do feel guilty, regretting it lar. but then again, i'm still quite mad. whatever it is, if the class wants to blame me for all this, then fine, im fine with that. i will put up with all that for as long as i can.
the spot where the pin poked me is like swollen and that tiny hole where the pin was stuck in in like really red and obvious. okay, its starting to scare me. really... i know the pin was rusty and i think it was really hard, the way it cut through my flesh and all, as if its a smaller version of a stab, but a million times smaller or something, but i didnt know it will be this bad now... sigh... i'll just hope it'll be okay soon. even when walking around, my foot still hurts a little. it's really scaring me...
i have to gulp down 1.5 litres of coke by tomorrow, so i am obviously forcing the coke down my throat. because i need three 1.5 litre bottles for the science camp tomorrow. im not the worst. i think liz has to finish three bottles by tonight. sigh... its torturing. so i have a new best friend, the coke bottle. but i guess the coke bottle is gonna be cut up and stuff to make a rocket tomorrow. okay... that was lame, just trying to humour myself. i still have like half the bottle of coke left. too much coke before i go to bed... hmmm seems interesting. haha.
i've started on my holiday homework, which is really not i usually do, haha. o now you know... ah well, maybe you knew like a billion year, its just i didnt know you knew. haha. so i've started on maths. which was relatively easier because the last exam was maths and considering how much i have studied, i still didnt do well for maths. im so stupid.
did i mention my brother going for this 3day-2night sec 1 camp. he is coming back tomorrow, at 1pm. i'll be at science camp. sigh... so my nightmare will start again. he scolded me for taking his torchlight, well i didnt. because he blames me when whatever that belongs to him goes missing. so i dont really care about him. no point protesting. get maligned most of the time, which is of course ridiculous.
spent the entire day packing, cleaning up and yes, i am tired, but then im doing some stuff, so i cant sleep yet. some stuff, including drinking coke. and then while sitting there drinking coke, im gonna sink myself into deep thought again... haha. or probably do something to cheer myself up. i played internet games last night to cheer myself up. so i'll probably read, watch movies till late late late, until im happier, then i'll sleep.
i didnt have a very good dinner... because now i'm having coke. i think by the end of this, some of us might have this phobia of drinking and stuff. but i dont really think it'll happen.
i have like 1/4 left and i believe my poor stomach is gonna blow. besides that, im having a headache now.
charmed tomorrow. finally. i think its the last season, so its a must watch, since i keep forgetting to watch the one on star world. i think i missed so much i will go huh when i watch the show and might end up asking around what on earth happened in the previous season. and i have this strong feeling i might forget to watch it too although i just labelled it a must-watch show.
im gonna stop blogging now, although i have a lot to blog about, but dont know how to blog it out. haha sounds weird.. never mind.
----------------------------------------------
Wake Me Up When September Ends - Green Day
Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
wake me up when september ends
like my fathers come to pass
seven years has gone so fast
wake me up when september ends
here comes the rain again
falling from the stars
drenched in my pain again
becoming who we are
as my memory rests
but never forgets what I lost
wake me up when september ends
summer has come and passed
the innocent can never last
wake me up when september ends
ring out the bells again
like we did when spring began
wake me up when september ends
here comes the rain again
falling from the stars
drenched in my pain again
becoming who we are
as my memory rests
but never forgets what I lost
wake me up when september ends
Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
wake me up when september ends
like my father's come to pass
twenty years has gone so fast
wake me up when september ends
wake me up when september ends
wake me up when september ends
okay, now i know the entire class is gonna hate me, for i was the one who posted the message about the chalet being postponed. what am i saying? im pretty much hated by everyone. so i do feel guilty, regretting it lar. but then again, i'm still quite mad. whatever it is, if the class wants to blame me for all this, then fine, im fine with that. i will put up with all that for as long as i can.
the spot where the pin poked me is like swollen and that tiny hole where the pin was stuck in in like really red and obvious. okay, its starting to scare me. really... i know the pin was rusty and i think it was really hard, the way it cut through my flesh and all, as if its a smaller version of a stab, but a million times smaller or something, but i didnt know it will be this bad now... sigh... i'll just hope it'll be okay soon. even when walking around, my foot still hurts a little. it's really scaring me...
i have to gulp down 1.5 litres of coke by tomorrow, so i am obviously forcing the coke down my throat. because i need three 1.5 litre bottles for the science camp tomorrow. im not the worst. i think liz has to finish three bottles by tonight. sigh... its torturing. so i have a new best friend, the coke bottle. but i guess the coke bottle is gonna be cut up and stuff to make a rocket tomorrow. okay... that was lame, just trying to humour myself. i still have like half the bottle of coke left. too much coke before i go to bed... hmmm seems interesting. haha.
i've started on my holiday homework, which is really not i usually do, haha. o now you know... ah well, maybe you knew like a billion year, its just i didnt know you knew. haha. so i've started on maths. which was relatively easier because the last exam was maths and considering how much i have studied, i still didnt do well for maths. im so stupid.
did i mention my brother going for this 3day-2night sec 1 camp. he is coming back tomorrow, at 1pm. i'll be at science camp. sigh... so my nightmare will start again. he scolded me for taking his torchlight, well i didnt. because he blames me when whatever that belongs to him goes missing. so i dont really care about him. no point protesting. get maligned most of the time, which is of course ridiculous.
spent the entire day packing, cleaning up and yes, i am tired, but then im doing some stuff, so i cant sleep yet. some stuff, including drinking coke. and then while sitting there drinking coke, im gonna sink myself into deep thought again... haha. or probably do something to cheer myself up. i played internet games last night to cheer myself up. so i'll probably read, watch movies till late late late, until im happier, then i'll sleep.
i didnt have a very good dinner... because now i'm having coke. i think by the end of this, some of us might have this phobia of drinking and stuff. but i dont really think it'll happen.
i have like 1/4 left and i believe my poor stomach is gonna blow. besides that, im having a headache now.
charmed tomorrow. finally. i think its the last season, so its a must watch, since i keep forgetting to watch the one on star world. i think i missed so much i will go huh when i watch the show and might end up asking around what on earth happened in the previous season. and i have this strong feeling i might forget to watch it too although i just labelled it a must-watch show.
im gonna stop blogging now, although i have a lot to blog about, but dont know how to blog it out. haha sounds weird.. never mind.
----------------------------------------------
Wake Me Up When September Ends - Green Day
Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
wake me up when september ends
like my fathers come to pass
seven years has gone so fast
wake me up when september ends
here comes the rain again
falling from the stars
drenched in my pain again
becoming who we are
as my memory rests
but never forgets what I lost
wake me up when september ends
summer has come and passed
the innocent can never last
wake me up when september ends
ring out the bells again
like we did when spring began
wake me up when september ends
here comes the rain again
falling from the stars
drenched in my pain again
becoming who we are
as my memory rests
but never forgets what I lost
wake me up when september ends
Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
wake me up when september ends
like my father's come to pass
twenty years has gone so fast
wake me up when september ends
wake me up when september ends
wake me up when september ends
Monday, May 30, 2005
[torn into pieces]
the results turned out to be a little of what i expected. like i feared, the science ca really did pull me down. sigh. even though i did slightly better than last year, but then its like i'm still disappointed in myself. i felt like crying on the spot, but i didnt, thank god. even though my mum said she knows i had done my best, but then i still feel very guilty. no point saying all these now right? what was done cant be undone, just blame it on myself.
stepped on a pin in the arc room while cleaning up. i was walking when i felt a sharp pain on my right sole. so i looked at it and was in shocked. i gasped because i saw a pin sticking out of my foot. so i pulled it out and realised it was rusty. my socks saved me. i removed my socks to check if it was bleeding. that was kinda stupid, because i know it'll definitely bleed, and have a pin stuck in you flesh, and it was rather deep. it wasnt bleeding but it did after a while. so i walked around school, one foot with socks and shoes, and the other completely bare. people were of course staring at me, as if i lost a shoe or something. was at st gabs with carmen and see kei when we saw thu, she went to sajc and said the people there slacked andslacked. haha, so we talked for a while before returning to the arc room. now my foot hurts a little. weird...
i feel like im totally clueless about everything. but then i dont really blame anyone... i feel like a total loser, thats all. i dont blame anyone for mostly anything. i have this awful feeling inside, and i want to blog about it, but then, i simply cant put it in words, i simply cant describe it. because i cant find anything to describe. its this really awful and sickening feeling i have had all along and i never knew how to express it.
the results turned out to be a little of what i expected. like i feared, the science ca really did pull me down. sigh. even though i did slightly better than last year, but then its like i'm still disappointed in myself. i felt like crying on the spot, but i didnt, thank god. even though my mum said she knows i had done my best, but then i still feel very guilty. no point saying all these now right? what was done cant be undone, just blame it on myself.
stepped on a pin in the arc room while cleaning up. i was walking when i felt a sharp pain on my right sole. so i looked at it and was in shocked. i gasped because i saw a pin sticking out of my foot. so i pulled it out and realised it was rusty. my socks saved me. i removed my socks to check if it was bleeding. that was kinda stupid, because i know it'll definitely bleed, and have a pin stuck in you flesh, and it was rather deep. it wasnt bleeding but it did after a while. so i walked around school, one foot with socks and shoes, and the other completely bare. people were of course staring at me, as if i lost a shoe or something. was at st gabs with carmen and see kei when we saw thu, she went to sajc and said the people there slacked andslacked. haha, so we talked for a while before returning to the arc room. now my foot hurts a little. weird...
i feel like im totally clueless about everything. but then i dont really blame anyone... i feel like a total loser, thats all. i dont blame anyone for mostly anything. i have this awful feeling inside, and i want to blog about it, but then, i simply cant put it in words, i simply cant describe it. because i cant find anything to describe. its this really awful and sickening feeling i have had all along and i never knew how to express it.
[you won't get to see the tears i cry]
listening to kelly clarkson's behind these hazel eyes. well listening to it, but its the video, its just that im not watching it. the video is a really good video. its about kelly getting married, but before the wedding, in this room, dressed in her bridal gown, she came across of this photo with her fiance and this other girl acting really intimately. so she dropped the bouquet of red roses she was holding on to and the photo frame. she started to imagine herself walking down the isle in this black dress. the bride isnt her, but that girl. then the girl and her fiance kissed after putting the rings on each other fingers. so when she, back to reality, was walking down the isle in the bridal gown and was about to have the ring on her finger, she glanced at that girl sitting somewhere, that girl was invited. so the girl was like flirting with the groom and kelly saw it. she ran out of the church to this forest which as rather creepy, because the trees had a few leaves, the ground was like foggy, probably dry ice, then the trees and stuff were black with the leaves falling. so she was running and stood there. she feel to her knees then laid there, covered with soil. it was raining and the bridal gown was destroyed with the mud. so she started to look really miserable. but it was really a good music video. it's almost like the music video of chemical romance's helena, very nice. but this video seemed more depressing and gives me this dark feeling. click here to view video.
sigh. in exactly 13 hours and 28 minutes, i can mock at myself for doing so badly. sigh.. the thought of the really disgusting grades and scores im gonna get is really scary... i feel like digging a hole in the ground and sticking my head in that hole like what the ostrich do or something just to save myself now... sigh...
whats even more demoralising is the dwindling numbers. more and more twothree-ers are calling up and telling mich and i they cant make it for the class chalet. then in the first place, tell us you didnt want it. why is it that yall had to make so much noise about wanting a class chalet last year, and now tell us you arent coming... it really does get on my nerves, you know. and each time someone calls me to say "hello. oh nana, i cant make it for the class chalet, is that okay?" i may seem cool, and say "okay, its okay" but then im actually not cool and wished they never called me to tell me all these. i feel like boxing them, argh. what a waste of time. finally, being able to organize a chalet for you fussy people, two duplez chalets at downtown east, where yall wanted, then you tell us you dont wanna go? what? everything that happened at novena church is gonna happen again? just tell me you cant come and thats it? it isnt your problem anymore, but has unknowingly become mine. i know i cant force yall to come for it, because who knows whose parents might just pursue me with a chopper, but i BEG yall to at least persuade your parents or make an effort to try to come, instead of being an idiot. i beg yall on my knees. i know it is our fault it was screwed last year, but now, after i did tell beverly and dawn last year we will have a class chalet this year, please do come.
sigh... im getting really stressed over the really bad response. i really wished they can make an effort to at least come for the bbq. at least the bbq, thats all i ask. sigh... being there for a few hours just bonding with the rest isnt that bad. i really want to scream because of this. now i also need anger management. im starting to hate 2/3. sigh, thats bad...
by the time we all receive our results, maybe there will be a miracle. everything will turn 180 degrees and probably more people will come i hope.
---------------------------------
i have to admit i have had enough of this. not because of ****. but things at home and in my social life. not only am i having an identity crisis at the moment, but also a really huge social crisis. i think my fear of people has just... i dont know... grown?
a strong front
be brave
pretence
no.
i feel really demoralised, very.
swallow me and spit me out
no i dont cry on the outside anymore
now all that's left of me...
is what I pretend to be
so together...
but so broken up inside
i'm barely hanging on
tired, exhausted. only these few words to describe how im feeling now. blame it on my lack of vocabulary. but i feel like my days are dwindling, closing in on me. sigh.
i remember what carmen, geraldine, val, brenda, see kei, velda and i were playing when we were at bugis after cip on saturday. we played this wheel thingy, a little like wheel of fortune. but then they have like a few chinese characters and each character meant something. mine meant that i had to smile more often in order for good things to happen. so i did, erm at least im trying to... sigh.
---------------------------------
Behind These Hazel Eyes - Kelly Clarkson
Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside
'Cause I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
Swallow me then spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Seeing you it kills me now
No, I don't cry on the outside
Anymore...
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
listening to kelly clarkson's behind these hazel eyes. well listening to it, but its the video, its just that im not watching it. the video is a really good video. its about kelly getting married, but before the wedding, in this room, dressed in her bridal gown, she came across of this photo with her fiance and this other girl acting really intimately. so she dropped the bouquet of red roses she was holding on to and the photo frame. she started to imagine herself walking down the isle in this black dress. the bride isnt her, but that girl. then the girl and her fiance kissed after putting the rings on each other fingers. so when she, back to reality, was walking down the isle in the bridal gown and was about to have the ring on her finger, she glanced at that girl sitting somewhere, that girl was invited. so the girl was like flirting with the groom and kelly saw it. she ran out of the church to this forest which as rather creepy, because the trees had a few leaves, the ground was like foggy, probably dry ice, then the trees and stuff were black with the leaves falling. so she was running and stood there. she feel to her knees then laid there, covered with soil. it was raining and the bridal gown was destroyed with the mud. so she started to look really miserable. but it was really a good music video. it's almost like the music video of chemical romance's helena, very nice. but this video seemed more depressing and gives me this dark feeling. click here to view video.
sigh. in exactly 13 hours and 28 minutes, i can mock at myself for doing so badly. sigh.. the thought of the really disgusting grades and scores im gonna get is really scary... i feel like digging a hole in the ground and sticking my head in that hole like what the ostrich do or something just to save myself now... sigh...
whats even more demoralising is the dwindling numbers. more and more twothree-ers are calling up and telling mich and i they cant make it for the class chalet. then in the first place, tell us you didnt want it. why is it that yall had to make so much noise about wanting a class chalet last year, and now tell us you arent coming... it really does get on my nerves, you know. and each time someone calls me to say "hello. oh nana, i cant make it for the class chalet, is that okay?" i may seem cool, and say "okay, its okay" but then im actually not cool and wished they never called me to tell me all these. i feel like boxing them, argh. what a waste of time. finally, being able to organize a chalet for you fussy people, two duplez chalets at downtown east, where yall wanted, then you tell us you dont wanna go? what? everything that happened at novena church is gonna happen again? just tell me you cant come and thats it? it isnt your problem anymore, but has unknowingly become mine. i know i cant force yall to come for it, because who knows whose parents might just pursue me with a chopper, but i BEG yall to at least persuade your parents or make an effort to try to come, instead of being an idiot. i beg yall on my knees. i know it is our fault it was screwed last year, but now, after i did tell beverly and dawn last year we will have a class chalet this year, please do come.
sigh... im getting really stressed over the really bad response. i really wished they can make an effort to at least come for the bbq. at least the bbq, thats all i ask. sigh... being there for a few hours just bonding with the rest isnt that bad. i really want to scream because of this. now i also need anger management. im starting to hate 2/3. sigh, thats bad...
by the time we all receive our results, maybe there will be a miracle. everything will turn 180 degrees and probably more people will come i hope.
---------------------------------
i have to admit i have had enough of this. not because of ****. but things at home and in my social life. not only am i having an identity crisis at the moment, but also a really huge social crisis. i think my fear of people has just... i dont know... grown?
a strong front
be brave
pretence
no.
i feel really demoralised, very.
swallow me and spit me out
no i dont cry on the outside anymore
now all that's left of me...
is what I pretend to be
so together...
but so broken up inside
i'm barely hanging on
tired, exhausted. only these few words to describe how im feeling now. blame it on my lack of vocabulary. but i feel like my days are dwindling, closing in on me. sigh.
i remember what carmen, geraldine, val, brenda, see kei, velda and i were playing when we were at bugis after cip on saturday. we played this wheel thingy, a little like wheel of fortune. but then they have like a few chinese characters and each character meant something. mine meant that i had to smile more often in order for good things to happen. so i did, erm at least im trying to... sigh.
---------------------------------
Behind These Hazel Eyes - Kelly Clarkson
Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside
'Cause I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
Swallow me then spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Seeing you it kills me now
No, I don't cry on the outside
Anymore...
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
Friday, May 27, 2005
[what's going on?]
the ij heartbeat was really good. it was really nice and... nice. it was very very good. the band played well, the guitar played well, the choir was okay, i have never heard the choir sing before, except next to the ava.. haha. the dance ensemble was great and eldds was really good, they could act really well. then the second half of the concert was really cool too, it was a musical and mr chan was really amusiing. and i was sitting alone during the first half of the concert, because i bought the ticket like the day before the concert and i wasnt able to enter with teh sec 4 seniors. so i joined them in the second half. it wasnt so bad watching alone actually. for me. i was sitting in a corner and no one was around me, haha.
founder's day mass today, i had fun, as expected. went out with geraldine, matilda and velda after the mass. was suppose to meet mag at yio chu kang mrt but was late. we decided to take the train to dohby gaut, then take the north east line to seng kang just to take the lrt train. haha i know it was pretty dumb, but we're were all curious so we decided to make that trip down. we all sort of knew we wouldnt have enough time because it was already 11.45am and mag and velda hadnt eaten, but we didnt stop. when we got to somerset, mag looked really pale so we decided to take a rest at somerset. we decided to send mag home so we called her mother and we waited outside the mrt station so that mag could get some fresh air. she looked a little better after that but we still sent her home.
im pretty scared of # and %, dont ask me why. to be more precise, im afraid of !@#$%^&*(), thats probably all of them. sigh, why did i turn out like that? and now, im afraid of ++ and ==, im using symbols to avoid misunderstandings. then i dont know. am i drifting away or are they drifting away? i guess what mag said was true... sigh... it seems as though it isnt meant to be, and i dont seem to want to accept it at all... but i have to, no matter what right? it really pays to be alone. thank you.
the ij heartbeat was really good. it was really nice and... nice. it was very very good. the band played well, the guitar played well, the choir was okay, i have never heard the choir sing before, except next to the ava.. haha. the dance ensemble was great and eldds was really good, they could act really well. then the second half of the concert was really cool too, it was a musical and mr chan was really amusiing. and i was sitting alone during the first half of the concert, because i bought the ticket like the day before the concert and i wasnt able to enter with teh sec 4 seniors. so i joined them in the second half. it wasnt so bad watching alone actually. for me. i was sitting in a corner and no one was around me, haha.
founder's day mass today, i had fun, as expected. went out with geraldine, matilda and velda after the mass. was suppose to meet mag at yio chu kang mrt but was late. we decided to take the train to dohby gaut, then take the north east line to seng kang just to take the lrt train. haha i know it was pretty dumb, but we're were all curious so we decided to make that trip down. we all sort of knew we wouldnt have enough time because it was already 11.45am and mag and velda hadnt eaten, but we didnt stop. when we got to somerset, mag looked really pale so we decided to take a rest at somerset. we decided to send mag home so we called her mother and we waited outside the mrt station so that mag could get some fresh air. she looked a little better after that but we still sent her home.
im pretty scared of # and %, dont ask me why. to be more precise, im afraid of !@#$%^&*(), thats probably all of them. sigh, why did i turn out like that? and now, im afraid of ++ and ==, im using symbols to avoid misunderstandings. then i dont know. am i drifting away or are they drifting away? i guess what mag said was true... sigh... it seems as though it isnt meant to be, and i dont seem to want to accept it at all... but i have to, no matter what right? it really pays to be alone. thank you.
Thursday, May 26, 2005
[space]
we won third, mostly... by luck, considering the fact we didnt practice well, and there were so many loopholes. it was really luck, purely luck. i feel guilty because of three things. i wont tell you about no. 1 because it is really making me very very guilty. no. 2 it seems as though i didnt do my part in the team well and finally, no. 3, i should have balanced the soccer competition and the space competition equally, i feel rather guilty for the soccer competition. im sorry.
went out with mag and geraldine after school, after i have gotten over my guilt, well, not completely, still feeling guilty because of no. 1. anyway last year, after founders day mass, ma, liz, matilda and i went out together and it was super fun, we said to go together again this year, but i guess not. sigh... so the three of us went to j8 as mag wanted to buy the ear sticks at where i bought them since they were rather cheap. we did and wandered about j8, it was quite fun going out with them, since we had so many stuff to comment on, geraldine was like a shopping expert which seemed to know everything. she knew the price, where to buy stuff that were cheaper, its like shes a walking shopping guide you know. haha i bet she'll say im crippled because i said that.
ij heartbeat later, decided to go since denise convinced me. i got the free seating ticket so im not sure if i can sit with them. i'll probably sit alone, haha, actually that wasnt so bad, i did sit alone during the band concert. eunice was trying to get me to wear a skirt, well.... i wont. yea i will not wear a skirt. geez... it's 5.13pm and i m still in my school uniform, i better drop that habit of taking my own sweet time. haha.
i guess this competition sort of changed us a little, or maybe a lot. MAYBE... it did, but whatever it is, it did change us. probably how we communicate and bond with each other now. it's rather cool, joking so much, and working at the same time. i dont usually get that a lot, since people working with me will die because im far too serious and far too crazy, it makes people go bonkers. but this competition was like a second eye-opener. not that it hasnt opened my eye to that, but it has once again did.
what gloria said yesterday was really stuck in my head the entire day. as for today, i have tried my very best to stop thinking about it and focus on other things. it is a real irony, i havent done anything worth it. geez... but anyway, it is an irony. maybe i should start doing more...
ok shall go prepare now, i shall just wear jeans and tshirt. what tshirt? maybe the i love robotics shirt, since mag and geraldine kept telling me to wear it... haha anyway, bye! i think by the time i get home, my brother would be sitting in this chair and then hell give excuses like "you went out what!" arh heck him. being offline for a day is okay to me now, unlike him, he's addicted to the internet and msn. thats why you see me online so seldom huh?
we won third, mostly... by luck, considering the fact we didnt practice well, and there were so many loopholes. it was really luck, purely luck. i feel guilty because of three things. i wont tell you about no. 1 because it is really making me very very guilty. no. 2 it seems as though i didnt do my part in the team well and finally, no. 3, i should have balanced the soccer competition and the space competition equally, i feel rather guilty for the soccer competition. im sorry.
went out with mag and geraldine after school, after i have gotten over my guilt, well, not completely, still feeling guilty because of no. 1. anyway last year, after founders day mass, ma, liz, matilda and i went out together and it was super fun, we said to go together again this year, but i guess not. sigh... so the three of us went to j8 as mag wanted to buy the ear sticks at where i bought them since they were rather cheap. we did and wandered about j8, it was quite fun going out with them, since we had so many stuff to comment on, geraldine was like a shopping expert which seemed to know everything. she knew the price, where to buy stuff that were cheaper, its like shes a walking shopping guide you know. haha i bet she'll say im crippled because i said that.
ij heartbeat later, decided to go since denise convinced me. i got the free seating ticket so im not sure if i can sit with them. i'll probably sit alone, haha, actually that wasnt so bad, i did sit alone during the band concert. eunice was trying to get me to wear a skirt, well.... i wont. yea i will not wear a skirt. geez... it's 5.13pm and i m still in my school uniform, i better drop that habit of taking my own sweet time. haha.
i guess this competition sort of changed us a little, or maybe a lot. MAYBE... it did, but whatever it is, it did change us. probably how we communicate and bond with each other now. it's rather cool, joking so much, and working at the same time. i dont usually get that a lot, since people working with me will die because im far too serious and far too crazy, it makes people go bonkers. but this competition was like a second eye-opener. not that it hasnt opened my eye to that, but it has once again did.
what gloria said yesterday was really stuck in my head the entire day. as for today, i have tried my very best to stop thinking about it and focus on other things. it is a real irony, i havent done anything worth it. geez... but anyway, it is an irony. maybe i should start doing more...
ok shall go prepare now, i shall just wear jeans and tshirt. what tshirt? maybe the i love robotics shirt, since mag and geraldine kept telling me to wear it... haha anyway, bye! i think by the time i get home, my brother would be sitting in this chair and then hell give excuses like "you went out what!" arh heck him. being offline for a day is okay to me now, unlike him, he's addicted to the internet and msn. thats why you see me online so seldom huh?
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
[fairytale]
accomplished much today. banner 3/4 done, so proud, haha. and the - is working perfectly now, well, it's good.
just finished watching the harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban dvd celine lent me, my vcd is screwy, expected. harry potter and the goblet of fire is gonna be out on the 19th november. probably like star wars, full, waiting once again.
i love the class banner now. the "3" is so nice and shiny with the aluminium foil. i hope it wins the banner competition. after all that effort of looking for glue when the pva glue ran out, but i guess no one is able to stay back tomorrow to finish it. i shall try to finish it during recess i guess. just the handprints and the footprints, and the soccer ball, we're done!
decided to miss csi, since i have already missed the first half.
i wonder why the school hasnt said anything about the founder's day mass this friday. are we even having a mass?
i'm doing some weird quizzes on this website mag was going to earlier. haha it has weird quizzes with weird results, really... haha i have a nice jap name... Sachiko Shimizudani. actually i pretty much like that name.
today's maths trail was okay. my group won the champion for 2/3, a little ironic, since our answers were crap crap and crap, but we still won, haha. then my bag is too full now to even fit a trophy. we had the maths trail at the esplanade, which was of course pretty cool. mag and i were laughing our heads off talking about something on the way there. i was telling her this really really very funny story which was as disgusting but still funny. so i was grouped with astrid, cj and min su. min su and astrid were the smarties (haha chocolate!). cj and i were standing by and watching them, assisting hem in any way we could. thanks to astrid and min su's logical thinking, we won. which was of course good.
actually a lot happened today, but i dont know how to blog about them now; i am currently having a mental block, like i always do. so i'm sorry if you really think this post is so crappy it cant be anymore crappier. heh, well i need to go sleep anyway, feeling extremely lethargic. good night =]
---------------------------------
i'm trying to keep my spirits up, always cheering myself up, i sure hope it works. it sounds like im running away from my problems, cheating myself. but am i? i sue do not know. maybe to me, happiness can sometimes be a sin. =]
i hope that not only will i be able to stop worrying certain people, but to also make them much happier. it doesnt make a difference. it doesnt at all, why bother right?
---------------------------------
to ###: take care.
---------------------------------
Incomplete - Backstreet Boys
Empty spaces fill me up with holes
Distant faces with no place left to go
Without you within me I can't find no rest
Where I'm going is anybody's guess
I've tried to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete
Voices tell me I should carry on
But I am swimming in an ocean all alone
Baby, my baby
It's written on your face
You still wonder if we made a big mistake
I've tried to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete
I don't mean to drag it on, but I can't seem to let you go
I don't wanna make you face this world alone
I wanna let you go (alone)
I've tried to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete
Incomplete
accomplished much today. banner 3/4 done, so proud, haha. and the - is working perfectly now, well, it's good.
just finished watching the harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban dvd celine lent me, my vcd is screwy, expected. harry potter and the goblet of fire is gonna be out on the 19th november. probably like star wars, full, waiting once again.
i love the class banner now. the "3" is so nice and shiny with the aluminium foil. i hope it wins the banner competition. after all that effort of looking for glue when the pva glue ran out, but i guess no one is able to stay back tomorrow to finish it. i shall try to finish it during recess i guess. just the handprints and the footprints, and the soccer ball, we're done!
decided to miss csi, since i have already missed the first half.
i wonder why the school hasnt said anything about the founder's day mass this friday. are we even having a mass?
i'm doing some weird quizzes on this website mag was going to earlier. haha it has weird quizzes with weird results, really... haha i have a nice jap name... Sachiko Shimizudani. actually i pretty much like that name.
today's maths trail was okay. my group won the champion for 2/3, a little ironic, since our answers were crap crap and crap, but we still won, haha. then my bag is too full now to even fit a trophy. we had the maths trail at the esplanade, which was of course pretty cool. mag and i were laughing our heads off talking about something on the way there. i was telling her this really really very funny story which was as disgusting but still funny. so i was grouped with astrid, cj and min su. min su and astrid were the smarties (haha chocolate!). cj and i were standing by and watching them, assisting hem in any way we could. thanks to astrid and min su's logical thinking, we won. which was of course good.
actually a lot happened today, but i dont know how to blog about them now; i am currently having a mental block, like i always do. so i'm sorry if you really think this post is so crappy it cant be anymore crappier. heh, well i need to go sleep anyway, feeling extremely lethargic. good night =]
---------------------------------
i'm trying to keep my spirits up, always cheering myself up, i sure hope it works. it sounds like im running away from my problems, cheating myself. but am i? i sue do not know. maybe to me, happiness can sometimes be a sin. =]
i hope that not only will i be able to stop worrying certain people, but to also make them much happier. it doesnt make a difference. it doesnt at all, why bother right?
---------------------------------
to ###: take care.
---------------------------------
Incomplete - Backstreet Boys
Empty spaces fill me up with holes
Distant faces with no place left to go
Without you within me I can't find no rest
Where I'm going is anybody's guess
I've tried to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete
Voices tell me I should carry on
But I am swimming in an ocean all alone
Baby, my baby
It's written on your face
You still wonder if we made a big mistake
I've tried to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete
I don't mean to drag it on, but I can't seem to let you go
I don't wanna make you face this world alone
I wanna let you go (alone)
I've tried to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete
Incomplete
Monday, May 23, 2005
[forget the sorrow]
haha this weekend has been a pretty good weekend for me. thats good =]
ended cip early again yesterday. but went to bugis with mag, matilda, savie, delle, novita and suhui to eat. mag, matilda and i had this pepsi competition. unfortunately for me, i had a large pepsi because i dont know why mag bought it and she was bugging me to share it with her, so i bought a regular pepsi for her and she gave me the large one instead. matilda had the medium one, dont know why either. we all almost died with 2/3 of our stomachs filled with pepsi. so mag bought a zinger burger while both matilda and i bought a shrooms burger. we felt better after that. i managed to finish the large pepsi with mag's help, we all finished our pepsi, haha. then talked about certain stuuff and they left first. since someone wanted to sit at the table, i moved away, finding myself nowhere to sit, thus leaving my bag at the table where the seniors were sitting and walked around seiyu, since i didnt wanna stand there and do nothing. so i went to kinokuniya and start to look for books and read. then the seniors were kind to bring my bag up to the third floor. we hung around there and i went to j8 with savie and delle before meeting gretchen and christine to buy the banner and the materials for the banner.
after sitting in delifrance for about 30 minutes or so, watching them sleep on the table and other stuff, we left. i headed for plaza sing, to meet gretchen and christine. did i mention gretchen and christine being my elder sisters, haha so nice. but they're far smarter than i am, topping the class, unlike me, my skull is empty, hehe. due to my ignorance, i was amazed when i stepped into spotlight, which was of course embarrassing, considering the fact that i have never been there and not knowing what kind of place is that. we spent about an hour there, looking for the right cloth and then cutting it and looking for the right paint sure took us long enough. we spent a total of $54.20 on those stuff. ex...
gretchen and i then went all the way to art friend to buy banner paint but was mad to find the shop close. so we were mad for a period of like 5 minutes? haha she told me about the perfect 10 dares you to earlier that day and was telling me all about the disgusting dares. one of which this guy had to smash his phone for $20. and the phone still looked new. i will only say thats crazy.
i love gretchen's ipod! was listening from spotlight, to art friend, to the mrt station. it has 1257 songs and its really cool. i dont really like the ipod mini though. i kept telling her "gretchen, your ipod rocks" and i think i told her that for about 20 times. haha i still love it.
i went to christine and celine's house today. did nothing at celine's house except watching tv and watching 1 disc of 100% senorita. had lunch and i had to guess which was celine's bed, she's sharing a room with her other two sisters. so i made a guess because there was a harry potter book there. she denied it, but i was right. the walls of the room are pasted with lindsay lohan and hilary duff's posters and pictures. another reason why i knew it was celine's bed was because i noticed the kingdom hearts calendar i made for her. haha
then we headed for christine's house. it's so far in, i kept asking "are we there yet? is it that one?" celine was starting to get annoyed wit me. haha. and christine's room is on the third floor of a semi-detached. my stamina must be low, i almost died climbing all the way up. so we had fun drawing the banner and painting it. pui foong has this weird sense of humour and i cant stop laughing just listening to her ridiculous jokes. haha
finally bought ear sticks. slow right? haha never mind. =]
Last Train Home - Lost Prophets
To every broken heart in here
Love was once a part, but now it's disappeared
She told me that it's all a part of the choices that your making
Even when you think you're right
You have to give to take
But there's still tomorrow
Forget the sorrow
And I can be on the last train home
Watch it pass the day
As it fades away
No more time to care
No more time, today
But we sing
If we're going nowhere
Yeah we sing
If it's not enough
And we sing
Sing without a reason
To ever fall in love
I wonder if you're listening
Picking up on the signals
Sent back from within
Sometimes it feels like I don't really know whats going on
Time and time again it seems like everything is wrong in here
But there's still tomorrow
Forget the sorrow
And I can be on the last train home
Watch it pass the day
As it fades away
No more time to care
No more time, today
But we sing
If we're going nowhere
Yeah we sing
If it's not enough
And we sing
Sing without a reason
To ever fall in love
Well we sing if we're going nowhere
Yeah we sing if it's not enough
And we sing
Sing without a reason to ever fall in love
But we sing
If we're going no where
Yeah we sing
If it's not enough
And we sing
Sing with out a reason to never fall in love
To never fall in love again
haha this weekend has been a pretty good weekend for me. thats good =]
ended cip early again yesterday. but went to bugis with mag, matilda, savie, delle, novita and suhui to eat. mag, matilda and i had this pepsi competition. unfortunately for me, i had a large pepsi because i dont know why mag bought it and she was bugging me to share it with her, so i bought a regular pepsi for her and she gave me the large one instead. matilda had the medium one, dont know why either. we all almost died with 2/3 of our stomachs filled with pepsi. so mag bought a zinger burger while both matilda and i bought a shrooms burger. we felt better after that. i managed to finish the large pepsi with mag's help, we all finished our pepsi, haha. then talked about certain stuuff and they left first. since someone wanted to sit at the table, i moved away, finding myself nowhere to sit, thus leaving my bag at the table where the seniors were sitting and walked around seiyu, since i didnt wanna stand there and do nothing. so i went to kinokuniya and start to look for books and read. then the seniors were kind to bring my bag up to the third floor. we hung around there and i went to j8 with savie and delle before meeting gretchen and christine to buy the banner and the materials for the banner.
after sitting in delifrance for about 30 minutes or so, watching them sleep on the table and other stuff, we left. i headed for plaza sing, to meet gretchen and christine. did i mention gretchen and christine being my elder sisters, haha so nice. but they're far smarter than i am, topping the class, unlike me, my skull is empty, hehe. due to my ignorance, i was amazed when i stepped into spotlight, which was of course embarrassing, considering the fact that i have never been there and not knowing what kind of place is that. we spent about an hour there, looking for the right cloth and then cutting it and looking for the right paint sure took us long enough. we spent a total of $54.20 on those stuff. ex...
gretchen and i then went all the way to art friend to buy banner paint but was mad to find the shop close. so we were mad for a period of like 5 minutes? haha she told me about the perfect 10 dares you to earlier that day and was telling me all about the disgusting dares. one of which this guy had to smash his phone for $20. and the phone still looked new. i will only say thats crazy.
i love gretchen's ipod! was listening from spotlight, to art friend, to the mrt station. it has 1257 songs and its really cool. i dont really like the ipod mini though. i kept telling her "gretchen, your ipod rocks" and i think i told her that for about 20 times. haha i still love it.
i went to christine and celine's house today. did nothing at celine's house except watching tv and watching 1 disc of 100% senorita. had lunch and i had to guess which was celine's bed, she's sharing a room with her other two sisters. so i made a guess because there was a harry potter book there. she denied it, but i was right. the walls of the room are pasted with lindsay lohan and hilary duff's posters and pictures. another reason why i knew it was celine's bed was because i noticed the kingdom hearts calendar i made for her. haha
then we headed for christine's house. it's so far in, i kept asking "are we there yet? is it that one?" celine was starting to get annoyed wit me. haha. and christine's room is on the third floor of a semi-detached. my stamina must be low, i almost died climbing all the way up. so we had fun drawing the banner and painting it. pui foong has this weird sense of humour and i cant stop laughing just listening to her ridiculous jokes. haha
finally bought ear sticks. slow right? haha never mind. =]
Last Train Home - Lost Prophets
To every broken heart in here
Love was once a part, but now it's disappeared
She told me that it's all a part of the choices that your making
Even when you think you're right
You have to give to take
But there's still tomorrow
Forget the sorrow
And I can be on the last train home
Watch it pass the day
As it fades away
No more time to care
No more time, today
But we sing
If we're going nowhere
Yeah we sing
If it's not enough
And we sing
Sing without a reason
To ever fall in love
I wonder if you're listening
Picking up on the signals
Sent back from within
Sometimes it feels like I don't really know whats going on
Time and time again it seems like everything is wrong in here
But there's still tomorrow
Forget the sorrow
And I can be on the last train home
Watch it pass the day
As it fades away
No more time to care
No more time, today
But we sing
If we're going nowhere
Yeah we sing
If it's not enough
And we sing
Sing without a reason
To ever fall in love
Well we sing if we're going nowhere
Yeah we sing if it's not enough
And we sing
Sing without a reason to ever fall in love
But we sing
If we're going no where
Yeah we sing
If it's not enough
And we sing
Sing with out a reason to never fall in love
To never fall in love again
Saturday, May 21, 2005
Life is good and bad. You know it can never be
perfect and that it never have been, and you're
fine with that. You still feel it's important
to live life since it can end any day and not
sulk because of some little failure in life.
You are often a happy person, still you don't
laugh all the time. You have a somewhat calm
aura and most people feel comfortable around
you.
How do you see life?
brought to you by Quizilla
haha thats nice =]
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Your element is Fire. Like fire, you have a hot
temper and you can be warm and loving as well
and angry and wild. It all really comes down to
what you are feeling. You have a lot of close
friends who you are very protective over, and
with your temper probably some enemies too. You
are not Miss Popular in school since you are
your own person and don't want to be forced
into behaving this or that way. You are the
untamed wild horse, the kind that everyone
wants to catch. But you don't want to be tied
down for the moment and just keep going with
your little crushes. Your will is strong and if
you set your mind to do something, you will
most likely succeed. But beware, your friends
may not always accept your mood-swinging
behaviour. Even if you don't mean to be mean,
they can still feel hurt. You just need to
start thinking some things through before you
do them, and not always jump in with so much
courage. One day you may be hurt because of
that, but then again, your element isn't fire
if you start to analyse situations before you
act. After all, your nature is to shoot first
and ask the questions later. Rate and message!
What is your element? [with pics + 7 outcomes + detailed answeres!]
brought to you by Quizilla
haha most likely succeed? haha weird... never seemed to happen.
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Your word is: Brooding. You are a true thinker and
often try to figure out the meaning of life,
why we are all here etc. You may not be so
social, and often think twice before acting but
those thoughts you have in your mind never stop
flowing in. Sometimes you can be so
concentrated you forget about other things that
you have to do. Don't change, this world needs
deep people.
What dark word represents you? (anime pics and 7 outcomes)
brought to you by Quizilla
quite true... thats probably why people think im so anti-social? haha sounds bad to them...
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Your Evanescence song is: Give Unto Me
A person you care deeply about is in mental
pain. You don't really understand why, but
somehow helping him/her means more to you than
if you was the one in pain. You want to make
them feel better but don't really know what to
do. This person you care about probably
isolates himself and that makes you hurt
inside.
Place onto me your burden
I'll drink your deadly poison
What Evanescence song are you?[many outcomes + wonderful pictures]
brought to you by Quizilla
yea its probably true...
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You are a Samurai.
You are full of honour and value respect. You
are not really the stereotypical hero, but you
do fight for good. Just in your own way. For
you, it is most certainly okay to kill an evil
person, if it is for justice and peace. You
also don't belive in mourning all the time and
think that once you've hit a bad stage in life
you just have to get up again. It's pointless
to concentrate on emotional pain and better to
just get on with everything. You also are a
down to earth type of person and think before
you act. Impulsive people may annoy you
somewhat.
Main weapon: Sword
Quote: "Always do the right thing.
This will gratify some people and astonish the
rest" -Mark Twain
Facial expression: Small smile
What Type of Killer Are You? [cool pictures]
brought to you by Quizilla
samurai! cool! haha but isnt very true though...
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You need understanding.
In your life there has been many people that
could never seem too comprehend your
personality. Now you have either become an
out-cast because of their narrow minds or you
have adjusted yourself to them, and never
letting them see who you are deep inside. You
now think that no one will ever understand you
and you hate that fact. Though you are scared
of what the effects might be if you would
decide to let someone in so you keep a safe
distance that you both curse and bless.
What Do You Need in Your Life? [dark pics]
brought to you by Quizilla
the cracked face is scary and gothic-like... reminds me of evanescence's my immortal. sheesh... the other pictures are kinda freaky as well...
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was reading debby's blog when i came across these. so decided to do them all. i have almost the same results as hers... then again, some are half-true but some are plain crap. maybe 1 or 2 are true.
cip was fun. there was this dog when i was at one of the houses. i pressed the doorbell, and it was running out, stood at the door, stared at me and ran back, as if it was gonna call its owner or something. it was simply adorable. haha then went to sim lim with carmen, val, velda, seekei and geraldine to get something. geraldine, carmen and i then went to pray at the temple and slacked in macs. we were making everything look funny, had lots of fun with them. then geraldine left and we were doing lame stuff on the mrt train. we did that star thing with our fingers and the feet together and all. carmen left and the four of us were doing this "ARC" thing with our fingers and took photos of the star, our feet and the "ARC" thing. i then went to the library, but i didnt manage to get my hands on the pendragon fifth book, black water, by DJ Machale. was rather disappointed since i didnt manage to find that book liz and jaime borrowed that day, looks like they borrowed both the books that were available. so spent an hour there looking for good books and yea i did find myself four nice books that would not bore me for now. haha
i shall go watch the elektra vcd i bought on thursday, its probably gonna be cool and a little boring... but anyway, im still gonna watch it. and i wanna watch star wars. i wanna see anakin skywalker turn to darkness and padme is gonna have twins, luke and leia. yea. its difficult for anyone to watch it now, since all the tickets for star wars are selling fast and it is probably available if i book it online... i shall wait patiently then...
[let go of your disguise]
i dont know what the heck is wrong with me.. geez, im so dumb man... i keep missing either the A2 of B4 grade by a mere 1 or 2 marks. and i didnt do well for geography. history was unexpected.... lit was expected. maths was frustrating. chinese was frustrating as well... gah i have to blame it on myself, for not being able to focus better and not being able to absorb more knowledge, maybe i have absorbed very little knowledge. the CA will pull me up right? i hope.
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sometimes i really hope my friends dont hurt themselves or do anything wrong to themselves because of certain reasons. it isnt the end of the world yet. and doing the extreme does mean something. it does make a difference. and a big difference to us. i dont find any valid reason to do such things.
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i shall stop being a hypocrite as well, start reflecting briana, and admit it, if things were meant to go this way, then there's no stopping to it. i have these thoughts in my head that are really distracting me from doing things right. these thoughts are mostly what has happened and i have looked deeper into it, leaving more questions and searching for more answers. this is ridiculous, maybe. if one day i really died, i dont know what will actually happen. maybe that difference would be.. erm... hmmm... people's life better? or a pest less in this world? haha i don't know what im saying as well. i will better after a while, i will.
Have you ever felt some kind of emptiness inside
You will never measure up, to those people you
Must be strong, can't show them that you're weak
Have you ever told someone something
That's far from the truth
Let them know that you're okay
Just to make them stop
All the wondering, and questions they may have
I'm okay, I really am now
Just needed some time, to figure things out
Not telling lies, I'll be honest with you
Still we don't know what's yet to come
Have you ever seen your face,
In a mirror there's a smile
But inside you're just a mess,
You feel far from good
Need to hide, 'cos they'd never understand
Have you ever had this wish, of being
Somewhere else
To let go of your disguise, all your worries too
And from that moment, then you see things clear
I'm okay, I really am now
Just needed some time, to figure things out
Not telling lies, I'll be honest with you
Still we don't know what's yet to come
Are you waiting for that day
when your pain disappears
when you know that it's not true
what they say about you
you couldn't care less about the things
surrounding you
ignoring all the voices from the walls
I'm okay, I really am now
Just needed some time, to figure things out
Not telling lies, I'll be honest with you
Still we don't know what's yet to come
I'm okay, I really am now
Just needed some time, to figure things out
Not telling lies, I'll be honest with you
Still we don't know what's yet to come
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this song makes me wanna smile sometimes, because it really has what i wanna say but unable to express =]
that is probabaly why i'm such a stupid idiot. because of this. sigh =]
i dont know what the heck is wrong with me.. geez, im so dumb man... i keep missing either the A2 of B4 grade by a mere 1 or 2 marks. and i didnt do well for geography. history was unexpected.... lit was expected. maths was frustrating. chinese was frustrating as well... gah i have to blame it on myself, for not being able to focus better and not being able to absorb more knowledge, maybe i have absorbed very little knowledge. the CA will pull me up right? i hope.
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sometimes i really hope my friends dont hurt themselves or do anything wrong to themselves because of certain reasons. it isnt the end of the world yet. and doing the extreme does mean something. it does make a difference. and a big difference to us. i dont find any valid reason to do such things.
---------------------------------------
i shall stop being a hypocrite as well, start reflecting briana, and admit it, if things were meant to go this way, then there's no stopping to it. i have these thoughts in my head that are really distracting me from doing things right. these thoughts are mostly what has happened and i have looked deeper into it, leaving more questions and searching for more answers. this is ridiculous, maybe. if one day i really died, i dont know what will actually happen. maybe that difference would be.. erm... hmmm... people's life better? or a pest less in this world? haha i don't know what im saying as well. i will better after a while, i will.
Have you ever felt some kind of emptiness inside
You will never measure up, to those people you
Must be strong, can't show them that you're weak
Have you ever told someone something
That's far from the truth
Let them know that you're okay
Just to make them stop
All the wondering, and questions they may have
I'm okay, I really am now
Just needed some time, to figure things out
Not telling lies, I'll be honest with you
Still we don't know what's yet to come
Have you ever seen your face,
In a mirror there's a smile
But inside you're just a mess,
You feel far from good
Need to hide, 'cos they'd never understand
Have you ever had this wish, of being
Somewhere else
To let go of your disguise, all your worries too
And from that moment, then you see things clear
I'm okay, I really am now
Just needed some time, to figure things out
Not telling lies, I'll be honest with you
Still we don't know what's yet to come
Are you waiting for that day
when your pain disappears
when you know that it's not true
what they say about you
you couldn't care less about the things
surrounding you
ignoring all the voices from the walls
I'm okay, I really am now
Just needed some time, to figure things out
Not telling lies, I'll be honest with you
Still we don't know what's yet to come
I'm okay, I really am now
Just needed some time, to figure things out
Not telling lies, I'll be honest with you
Still we don't know what's yet to come
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this song makes me wanna smile sometimes, because it really has what i wanna say but unable to express =]
that is probabaly why i'm such a stupid idiot. because of this. sigh =]