[yayness?]
im tired, very very tired. i dont know why either. probably because i have been running around like mad, haha no choice.
received science and english papers today. english was a horror (it's always a horror) and science was pretty ok... i might wanna consider working harder the next time. literature is definitely gonna give me a fatal stab right into my vital organs tomorrow, not to mention geography, history and maths. geez... i think i'll just die of shock.
interclass fashion competition was okay. well we didnt win, but i still had fun when we were preparing for it. now its the interclass soccer competition. its a pity i cant participate in it because its next thursday, the 26th. so i have to be in banner now. just finished designing the banner and i guess its really plain and ugly. having this lack of inspiration now, very bad.
i feel like the slackiest person walking this planet now. i suddenly lost the motivation to work, and i know it isnt the time for this. this is bad and i have to start forcing myself now, or else.... or else... never mind.
my brother is next to me now, making sure i dont sign into msn, ah fine. i wont. he wants to make sure i get off this computer asap. he seems to be very okay with me blogging now, for i dont know why either.
we had this praxis thing today. played some board game and it was super fun. i got retrenched like 4 times. but my luck isnt that that bad after all. well maybe thats just what i think.this praxis thing is supposed to be some course on saving money. haha everyone, including me seems to be more interested in the board game than what that mr chiew is saying. we're playing the game again tomorrow, ahah yayness. i think i picked up the "yayness" from betina because she kept saying "yayness" during the game that i picked it up, haha i better stop that... now...
okay i dont know what on earth to blog about now. my mind is a blank and i'm gonna start stoning again before i go sleep. i better go eat something or do something. ah well i shall then! good night! haha
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
Monday, May 16, 2005
[the stupid things]
overslept today. well expected. haha its funny to have two people outside your house banging on the window when there isnt anyone at home but yourself. haha i was such a pig man. celine and min su were banging on the window and then min su shouted for me, now, thats a shocking. she would never scream and shout like what she did today. i had a weird dream again, but was strangely awoken by the banging of my bedroom window. yea then watched 2 eps of 100% senorita today. was fooling around as usual. but we got things done. haha today was an extraordinary day for me, i had the most fun, haha, even though we spent it at home. celine started telling min su and i about harry potter and the goblet fire, the movie and was telling us how pretty the new cho chang was, how ugly victor krum was and how shuai cedric diggory was. it was a laugh when she was showing us this website, http://www.danradcliffe.co.uk/, and daniel radcliffe in this david copperfield film in 2000, when he was very young. she was going mad over how adorable the young boy looked. min su n i did nothing but stare at her, then at the computer.
its gonna be slightly hectic these few days. i hope we do well for tomorrow's interclass fashion competition tomorrow. to me, ours is very good. but maybe tomorrow, there are other groups who are better than us. still have to prepare the music cd now. and then i have to burn the part 2 of 100% senorita.
ah well i realised i have practically nothing to say, since i overslept till 2pm today... haha
overslept today. well expected. haha its funny to have two people outside your house banging on the window when there isnt anyone at home but yourself. haha i was such a pig man. celine and min su were banging on the window and then min su shouted for me, now, thats a shocking. she would never scream and shout like what she did today. i had a weird dream again, but was strangely awoken by the banging of my bedroom window. yea then watched 2 eps of 100% senorita today. was fooling around as usual. but we got things done. haha today was an extraordinary day for me, i had the most fun, haha, even though we spent it at home. celine started telling min su and i about harry potter and the goblet fire, the movie and was telling us how pretty the new cho chang was, how ugly victor krum was and how shuai cedric diggory was. it was a laugh when she was showing us this website, http://www.danradcliffe.co.uk/, and daniel radcliffe in this david copperfield film in 2000, when he was very young. she was going mad over how adorable the young boy looked. min su n i did nothing but stare at her, then at the computer.
its gonna be slightly hectic these few days. i hope we do well for tomorrow's interclass fashion competition tomorrow. to me, ours is very good. but maybe tomorrow, there are other groups who are better than us. still have to prepare the music cd now. and then i have to burn the part 2 of 100% senorita.
ah well i realised i have practically nothing to say, since i overslept till 2pm today... haha
[100% Senorita]
its gonna be dawn soon. i cant sleep. because i havent slept for two nights. and i slept till 3pm today (sunday). i finished watching 100% senorita. it have a wonderful ending! except it didnt include the wedding and all. and the other stuff about that guy being released from prison and what. everything ended with the twin sisters steeping out of the car and the company welcoming them. then xiao feng's shoe flew and zhelin caught it and put the shoe on for her, then blah and blah, everyone cheered and the end. abrupt but still a happy ending. penny lin, who played feiyang in 100% senorita and shanni in dolphin bay, contracted cancer. but luckily, in 100% senorita, she was cured, unlike shanni who died. both have to be sick. but since feiyang is the main character, i guess she shouldnt die. haha. well, i dont like seeing people die, its just so sad.
it's almost 4am, and i can hear people shouting in the neighbourhood. what is their problem? sounds like scolding a child, quite scary... actually very, im a little freaked by it now. trying to look for someone to chat to distract myself. unfortunately, there isnt anyone online, so i signed in to my yahoo acc, and was glad to see my us pen pal online, so i chatted with her, only saying hi and what time is it now. yea... no one is online. yes no on. what am i saying? its 4am! there isnt suppose to be anyone online.
celine, min su and fiona coming over later. to do the costume for the inter class fashion competition. haha we had fun yesterday (saturday). when i went completely mad while watching 100% senorita and having lunch at the same time. i was making funny faces and celine was teasing me about it. well these are casual gestures. but still, i had fun because i was coming up with weird ideas that were quite impossible and was losing my mind. haha.
i still wanna go on about 100% senorita. i sound like an advertisement person or whatever. anyway, liz isnt as bad as me. she will just type one sentence "DEEP BLUE SEA AT 7.30PM" but i will be long winded and type a whole lot of crap about a certain thing. maybe it isnt crap to me, but maybe to the people who are reading it. haha heck, i shall include it for me, myself and i to read. up to you whether you wanna read it or not. 100% senorita is a wonderful show, the difference between this show and dolphin bay is 100% senorita is a happier show, with of course a good storyline. theres still the crying but this show brings lots of fun and laughter as well.
haha the story is about a pair of twins separated at birth. because of this woman being a fertility mother for another family. and this another family is a wealthy family, owning a very big company, Formosa Enterprise. this fertility mother was gifted with a pair of twni daughters. so she took one daughter with her and left the other daughter behind, for the wealthy family. 20 years later, zhuang fei yang, the daughter who was left behind, grew up in the wealthy family. she was an intelligent girl, with a high education level and excellent temperament. but she was like a child, very spoilt. it was her 20th birthday and she never forget about it. her dad, the chairman of Formosa Enterprise, with the intention to give her daughter a surprise, died on the way back from the airport in a helicopter. the helicopter dropped and he died. so she was greatly affected. she had to take over the company at 20, haiyah poor thing. she had the help of the general manager of formosa, peter pan. he has a weird name. yea but he was evil. he sweet talked fei yang, then was "proposing" to her, and then stuff her in a damaged car and pushed it off the cliff. she was disfigured in the end, but some weird doctor who was crazy saved her and made her face like his daughter who died 3 years ago.
feiyang couldnt go anywhere. no one knew who she was, she had no identification. so she couldnt return to the company, neither could she go home. she was saved by this guy, weixiang, from some idiot on the street. then she fainted and weixiang brought her home. weixiang was part of the IM group. this group, consisting of five people living together, started a small business, since they needed money badly, to pay rent and stuff. so then they were actually waiters and waitresses at feiyang's 20th birthday. then, weixiang saved feiyang from a fall and they fell in love and stuff, haha that part was super dramatic. yea... then when they were out working, they met this girl, liang xiao feng. liang xiao feng looked exactly like feiyang, before the accident. actually is it an accident, or an attempted murder? haha i look at it as an accident. so yea. in order to get back what belonged to her, feiyang begged xiao feng to pose as feiyang and take revenge on peter pan, then get back what belongs to her. they didnt realise they were actually twin sisters, but they had the same habits and had some sort of telepathy going on between them. peter pan told the company and everyone that feiyang went to europe, and doesnt know when she'll be back. so everyone thought feiyang was there to enjoy herself. but of course the stupid peter pan pushed her off a cliff.
then a lot of stuff happened, like xiao feng being unable to read english, so she couldnt cope with the work in formosa. then haiyah, lots of like love triangles, like dolphin bay. according to liz, this show is very cliche, like what she said about dolphin bay. well... shes right. but i still like it lar. i strongly recommend this show. haha lyn wants it too, because wallace huo is in it. actually i was quite shocked when she was squealing about wallace huo and all in class because even though i've known her for the past five years, i didnt know she would like anything to do with chinese, including wallace huo, who is a taiwanese actor. haha, i am actually quite shocked. dolphin bay probably changed her mind. haha.
i have done two paragraphs on the show. im gonna leave a few links here.
Xing Fu De Di Tu - Elva Hsiao
Somebody - Wallace huo
geez, i better get some sleep so that i can start work. CHEESE. sayonara!
to all the people feeling down now: hey!!! cheer up, dont feel sad okay?
Disguise - Lene Marlin
Have you ever felt some kind of emptiness inside
You will never measure up, to those people you
Must be strong, can't show them that you're weak
Have you ever told someone something
That's far from the truth
Let them know that you're okay
Just to make them stop
All the wondering, and questions they may have
I'm okay, I really am now
Just needed some time, to figure things out
Not telling lies, I'll be honest with you
Still we don't know what's yet to come
Have you ever seen your face,
In a mirror there's a smile
But inside you're just a mess,
You feel far from good
Need to hide, 'cos they'd never understand
Have you ever had this wish, of being
Somewhere else
To let go of your disguise, all your worries too
And from that moment, then you see things clear
I'm okay, I really am now
Just needed some time, to figure things out
Not telling lies, I'll be honest with you
Still we don't know what's yet to come
Are you waiting for that day
when your pain disappears
when you know that it's not true
what they say about you
you couldn't care less about the things
surrounding you
ignoring all the voices from the walls
I'm okay, I really am now
Just needed some time, to figure things out
Not telling lies, I'll be honest with you
Still we don't know what's yet to come
I'm okay, I really am now
Just needed some time, to figure things out
Not telling lies, I'll be honest with you
Still we don't know what's yet to come
Still we don't know what's yet to come
Still we don't know what's yet to come
its gonna be dawn soon. i cant sleep. because i havent slept for two nights. and i slept till 3pm today (sunday). i finished watching 100% senorita. it have a wonderful ending! except it didnt include the wedding and all. and the other stuff about that guy being released from prison and what. everything ended with the twin sisters steeping out of the car and the company welcoming them. then xiao feng's shoe flew and zhelin caught it and put the shoe on for her, then blah and blah, everyone cheered and the end. abrupt but still a happy ending. penny lin, who played feiyang in 100% senorita and shanni in dolphin bay, contracted cancer. but luckily, in 100% senorita, she was cured, unlike shanni who died. both have to be sick. but since feiyang is the main character, i guess she shouldnt die. haha. well, i dont like seeing people die, its just so sad.
it's almost 4am, and i can hear people shouting in the neighbourhood. what is their problem? sounds like scolding a child, quite scary... actually very, im a little freaked by it now. trying to look for someone to chat to distract myself. unfortunately, there isnt anyone online, so i signed in to my yahoo acc, and was glad to see my us pen pal online, so i chatted with her, only saying hi and what time is it now. yea... no one is online. yes no on. what am i saying? its 4am! there isnt suppose to be anyone online.
celine, min su and fiona coming over later. to do the costume for the inter class fashion competition. haha we had fun yesterday (saturday). when i went completely mad while watching 100% senorita and having lunch at the same time. i was making funny faces and celine was teasing me about it. well these are casual gestures. but still, i had fun because i was coming up with weird ideas that were quite impossible and was losing my mind. haha.
i still wanna go on about 100% senorita. i sound like an advertisement person or whatever. anyway, liz isnt as bad as me. she will just type one sentence "DEEP BLUE SEA AT 7.30PM" but i will be long winded and type a whole lot of crap about a certain thing. maybe it isnt crap to me, but maybe to the people who are reading it. haha heck, i shall include it for me, myself and i to read. up to you whether you wanna read it or not. 100% senorita is a wonderful show, the difference between this show and dolphin bay is 100% senorita is a happier show, with of course a good storyline. theres still the crying but this show brings lots of fun and laughter as well.
haha the story is about a pair of twins separated at birth. because of this woman being a fertility mother for another family. and this another family is a wealthy family, owning a very big company, Formosa Enterprise. this fertility mother was gifted with a pair of twni daughters. so she took one daughter with her and left the other daughter behind, for the wealthy family. 20 years later, zhuang fei yang, the daughter who was left behind, grew up in the wealthy family. she was an intelligent girl, with a high education level and excellent temperament. but she was like a child, very spoilt. it was her 20th birthday and she never forget about it. her dad, the chairman of Formosa Enterprise, with the intention to give her daughter a surprise, died on the way back from the airport in a helicopter. the helicopter dropped and he died. so she was greatly affected. she had to take over the company at 20, haiyah poor thing. she had the help of the general manager of formosa, peter pan. he has a weird name. yea but he was evil. he sweet talked fei yang, then was "proposing" to her, and then stuff her in a damaged car and pushed it off the cliff. she was disfigured in the end, but some weird doctor who was crazy saved her and made her face like his daughter who died 3 years ago.
feiyang couldnt go anywhere. no one knew who she was, she had no identification. so she couldnt return to the company, neither could she go home. she was saved by this guy, weixiang, from some idiot on the street. then she fainted and weixiang brought her home. weixiang was part of the IM group. this group, consisting of five people living together, started a small business, since they needed money badly, to pay rent and stuff. so then they were actually waiters and waitresses at feiyang's 20th birthday. then, weixiang saved feiyang from a fall and they fell in love and stuff, haha that part was super dramatic. yea... then when they were out working, they met this girl, liang xiao feng. liang xiao feng looked exactly like feiyang, before the accident. actually is it an accident, or an attempted murder? haha i look at it as an accident. so yea. in order to get back what belonged to her, feiyang begged xiao feng to pose as feiyang and take revenge on peter pan, then get back what belongs to her. they didnt realise they were actually twin sisters, but they had the same habits and had some sort of telepathy going on between them. peter pan told the company and everyone that feiyang went to europe, and doesnt know when she'll be back. so everyone thought feiyang was there to enjoy herself. but of course the stupid peter pan pushed her off a cliff.
then a lot of stuff happened, like xiao feng being unable to read english, so she couldnt cope with the work in formosa. then haiyah, lots of like love triangles, like dolphin bay. according to liz, this show is very cliche, like what she said about dolphin bay. well... shes right. but i still like it lar. i strongly recommend this show. haha lyn wants it too, because wallace huo is in it. actually i was quite shocked when she was squealing about wallace huo and all in class because even though i've known her for the past five years, i didnt know she would like anything to do with chinese, including wallace huo, who is a taiwanese actor. haha, i am actually quite shocked. dolphin bay probably changed her mind. haha.
i have done two paragraphs on the show. im gonna leave a few links here.
Xing Fu De Di Tu - Elva Hsiao
Somebody - Wallace huo
geez, i better get some sleep so that i can start work. CHEESE. sayonara!
to all the people feeling down now: hey!!! cheer up, dont feel sad okay?
Disguise - Lene Marlin
Have you ever felt some kind of emptiness inside
You will never measure up, to those people you
Must be strong, can't show them that you're weak
Have you ever told someone something
That's far from the truth
Let them know that you're okay
Just to make them stop
All the wondering, and questions they may have
I'm okay, I really am now
Just needed some time, to figure things out
Not telling lies, I'll be honest with you
Still we don't know what's yet to come
Have you ever seen your face,
In a mirror there's a smile
But inside you're just a mess,
You feel far from good
Need to hide, 'cos they'd never understand
Have you ever had this wish, of being
Somewhere else
To let go of your disguise, all your worries too
And from that moment, then you see things clear
I'm okay, I really am now
Just needed some time, to figure things out
Not telling lies, I'll be honest with you
Still we don't know what's yet to come
Are you waiting for that day
when your pain disappears
when you know that it's not true
what they say about you
you couldn't care less about the things
surrounding you
ignoring all the voices from the walls
I'm okay, I really am now
Just needed some time, to figure things out
Not telling lies, I'll be honest with you
Still we don't know what's yet to come
I'm okay, I really am now
Just needed some time, to figure things out
Not telling lies, I'll be honest with you
Still we don't know what's yet to come
Still we don't know what's yet to come
Still we don't know what's yet to come
Friday, May 13, 2005
[joy & laughter?]
exams - over. i dont need to worry now. at least thats off my mind. now its time to focus on the sec 2 interclass fashion competition and other stuff... im tired, but i cant sleep. so yea...
bought 100% snorita today, watched 3 discs already.
I CANT FIND MY DOLPHIN BAY VCD
I CANT FIND MY DOLPHIN BAY VCD
I CANT FIND MY DOLPHIN BAY VCD
I CANT FIND MY DOLPHIN BAY VCD
I CANT FIND MY DOLPHIN BAY VCD
yea i cant find it. and i m 200% sure its in this room. i just misplaced it... argh. 100% senorita is a nice show. and cliche(qupted from liz) but its still nice. haha what am i saying? i've said that a thousand times. but i have to say that taiwanese dramas are good. the cast can act well. yeah. they can like cry, then its so real. so i'm trying to waste my energy by watching vcds, like that i'll probably fall asleep and yeah, i'll fall asleep.
went out to have lunch with mag, liz, matilda, khym and jaime. mag, jaime and khym were so hilarious i couldnt swallow my food. sometimes i dont know what jaime is talking about, but just watching her laugh is just so amusing. then went to the library and was reading and reading. then we left. since i didnt go back to school after that, matilda and liz came to my house. liz and matilda were watching samurai x. and it feels a little weird to have the dvd absent now.. haha... then we watched 100% senorita and were having fun.
i better look for that stupid piece of treasure. my dolphin bay vcd... argh argh argh. im gonna cry if i really lose it. well not cry, but im gonna be very sad. very very very very sad. sigh sigh sigh
----------------------------
sigh, i wish i can help them. i really do. but then its like i dont know how. i'm having that rotten feeling too. sometimes, i just dont know what to say to console them. sigh...
----------------------------
She's No You - Jesse McCartney
They got a lotta girls
Who know they got it going on
But nothing's ever a comparison to you
Now can't you see that your the only one I really want
And everything I need
Is everything you do?
Any girl walk by, don't matter
'Cause your looking so much better
Don't ever need to get
Caught up in jealousy
She could be a super-model
Every magazine... the cover
She'll never, ever mean a thing to me...
[Chorus:]
She's no you... oh, no
You give me more than I could ever want
She's no you
I'm satisfied with the one I've got
'cause your all the girl
That I've ever dreamed
She's only a picture on a magazine
She's no you... she's no you
They got a lot of girls
Who dance in all the videos
But I prefer the way you do,
The way you move
You're more than beautiful
And I just wanna let you know
That all I ever need
Is what I've got with you
Any girl walk by, don't matter
Every time your looking better
I think your perfect
There ain't nothing I would change
She could be a super-model
Every magazine... the cover
She'll never, ever take my heart away
[Repeat chorus]
No one's ever gonna get to me
Oh, the way you do
Now baby can't you see
That you're the one... the only one
Who's ever made me feel this way?
Nothings ever coming even close
No one's ever been comparable to you
I don't want nothing I don't got
I don't need nothing but you
I can't get more than you're given me
Don't stop anything you do.
Your all that... all that, and then some
You know what... just what I need
And no girl, no place and no where
Could mean a thing to me.
[Repeat chorus]
exams - over. i dont need to worry now. at least thats off my mind. now its time to focus on the sec 2 interclass fashion competition and other stuff... im tired, but i cant sleep. so yea...
bought 100% snorita today, watched 3 discs already.
I CANT FIND MY DOLPHIN BAY VCD
I CANT FIND MY DOLPHIN BAY VCD
I CANT FIND MY DOLPHIN BAY VCD
I CANT FIND MY DOLPHIN BAY VCD
I CANT FIND MY DOLPHIN BAY VCD
yea i cant find it. and i m 200% sure its in this room. i just misplaced it... argh. 100% senorita is a nice show. and cliche(qupted from liz) but its still nice. haha what am i saying? i've said that a thousand times. but i have to say that taiwanese dramas are good. the cast can act well. yeah. they can like cry, then its so real. so i'm trying to waste my energy by watching vcds, like that i'll probably fall asleep and yeah, i'll fall asleep.
went out to have lunch with mag, liz, matilda, khym and jaime. mag, jaime and khym were so hilarious i couldnt swallow my food. sometimes i dont know what jaime is talking about, but just watching her laugh is just so amusing. then went to the library and was reading and reading. then we left. since i didnt go back to school after that, matilda and liz came to my house. liz and matilda were watching samurai x. and it feels a little weird to have the dvd absent now.. haha... then we watched 100% senorita and were having fun.
i better look for that stupid piece of treasure. my dolphin bay vcd... argh argh argh. im gonna cry if i really lose it. well not cry, but im gonna be very sad. very very very very sad. sigh sigh sigh
----------------------------
sigh, i wish i can help them. i really do. but then its like i dont know how. i'm having that rotten feeling too. sometimes, i just dont know what to say to console them. sigh...
----------------------------
She's No You - Jesse McCartney
They got a lotta girls
Who know they got it going on
But nothing's ever a comparison to you
Now can't you see that your the only one I really want
And everything I need
Is everything you do?
Any girl walk by, don't matter
'Cause your looking so much better
Don't ever need to get
Caught up in jealousy
She could be a super-model
Every magazine... the cover
She'll never, ever mean a thing to me...
[Chorus:]
She's no you... oh, no
You give me more than I could ever want
She's no you
I'm satisfied with the one I've got
'cause your all the girl
That I've ever dreamed
She's only a picture on a magazine
She's no you... she's no you
They got a lot of girls
Who dance in all the videos
But I prefer the way you do,
The way you move
You're more than beautiful
And I just wanna let you know
That all I ever need
Is what I've got with you
Any girl walk by, don't matter
Every time your looking better
I think your perfect
There ain't nothing I would change
She could be a super-model
Every magazine... the cover
She'll never, ever take my heart away
[Repeat chorus]
No one's ever gonna get to me
Oh, the way you do
Now baby can't you see
That you're the one... the only one
Who's ever made me feel this way?
Nothings ever coming even close
No one's ever been comparable to you
I don't want nothing I don't got
I don't need nothing but you
I can't get more than you're given me
Don't stop anything you do.
Your all that... all that, and then some
You know what... just what I need
And no girl, no place and no where
Could mean a thing to me.
[Repeat chorus]
Thursday, May 12, 2005
[immortal]
the thought of failing my exams is demoralising. whats worse is the thought of getting back my history and geography results. or maybe the rest. but anyway, the geog paper was a sad case. the history was worse. i didnt manage to finish the paper. now, that is demoralising. tomorrow's the maths paper. im gonna flunk it too. yes i am.
the last two days were rather useless. i think the three of us did nothing but discuss stuff. yesterday, we were discussing on whether abortion should be allowed in singapore. how did we get to that topic? hmm... haha i dont know either, or maybe i forgot. but we were talking and talking, about stuff. like abortion. haha but there's more. oh, now i remember how got there. or maybe im wrong. ah well. i cant stop eating. i just had 10 peanut candy. and now im munching on pola snacks. geez...
the dry run thing for the inter class fashion competition is tomorrow. actually i've got to agree with khym. min su's hat is too big and heavy for her. but then theres no way celine and i are gonna catwalk in that thing. modelling is already scary to me... i cant do it man, and I DONT WANNA DO IT fullstop
besides listening to the same samurai x song for more than 6 hours, i didnt know i can stick to my immortal for 5 hours. well, i always change after an hour. i still have to admit my immortal is a great song, even though the lyrics are geez... but then its still a nice song. haha i love it <3
my mind is so preoccupied with something i cant study. i can study, but only absorbing 60% of the text. then after a while, 10% gets wiped out. because i forget.
i just realized for the past i dont know how long, i have been complaining on this blog, rather than really blogging. maybe my definition of blogging is so different from yours. haha im not sure myself either.
class chalet is closing in on us. i just hope everyone did well, so more people can turn up, i'll probably not, if my results are lousy, but then again, my mum may relent. haha i dont know... she has been much more i dont know... nicer. yea.
My Immortal - Evanescence
I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
[Chorus:]
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
[Chorus]
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
[Chorus]
the thought of failing my exams is demoralising. whats worse is the thought of getting back my history and geography results. or maybe the rest. but anyway, the geog paper was a sad case. the history was worse. i didnt manage to finish the paper. now, that is demoralising. tomorrow's the maths paper. im gonna flunk it too. yes i am.
the last two days were rather useless. i think the three of us did nothing but discuss stuff. yesterday, we were discussing on whether abortion should be allowed in singapore. how did we get to that topic? hmm... haha i dont know either, or maybe i forgot. but we were talking and talking, about stuff. like abortion. haha but there's more. oh, now i remember how got there. or maybe im wrong. ah well. i cant stop eating. i just had 10 peanut candy. and now im munching on pola snacks. geez...
the dry run thing for the inter class fashion competition is tomorrow. actually i've got to agree with khym. min su's hat is too big and heavy for her. but then theres no way celine and i are gonna catwalk in that thing. modelling is already scary to me... i cant do it man, and I DONT WANNA DO IT fullstop
besides listening to the same samurai x song for more than 6 hours, i didnt know i can stick to my immortal for 5 hours. well, i always change after an hour. i still have to admit my immortal is a great song, even though the lyrics are geez... but then its still a nice song. haha i love it <3
my mind is so preoccupied with something i cant study. i can study, but only absorbing 60% of the text. then after a while, 10% gets wiped out. because i forget.
i just realized for the past i dont know how long, i have been complaining on this blog, rather than really blogging. maybe my definition of blogging is so different from yours. haha im not sure myself either.
class chalet is closing in on us. i just hope everyone did well, so more people can turn up, i'll probably not, if my results are lousy, but then again, my mum may relent. haha i dont know... she has been much more i dont know... nicer. yea.
My Immortal - Evanescence
I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
[Chorus:]
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
[Chorus]
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
[Chorus]
Monday, May 09, 2005
[inflexible stationery]
if liz said she screwed the exams, then that means i did as well. haha, well thats common sense right? anyway liz, i dont think you did. even if you didnt, it doesnt mean i didnt, haha. the science diagrams were annoying. they were. the root hairs one were. section c was a killer. gah...
chinese tomorrow and my intuition tells me im gonna die. yea i think im gonna die this week. no confidence at all, which is BAD!!! man... i better do some preparations, haha.
it's liz's birthday tomorrow, hehe... actually the "hehe" doesnt mean anything. but then again it was suppose to mean something, i ust cant think of what it is. haha =] actually liz, im not that shocked when you said its thought that counts. haha actually.... im not shocked, haha am i being mean now? if i am, its unintentional =]
our very own inflexible stationery! haha long story, im not gonna post it even if it isnt a long story! but then i enjoy that inflexible stationery joke... haha
im trying my best to avoid the exam stress, but then my defence barrier is weak, so cant help it. =] it suddenly became the exam of life and death, for a funny reason. geez i might have been taking it too seriously, but then again... I AM SUPPOSE TO TAKE IT SERIOUSLY, haha
-----------------------
argh, i dont know whats with the pop-ups, i have the pop-ups block, but then i dont know why it isnt working very well. maybe its because my brother downloaded the kazaa thing. is the kazaa thing illegal? i thought it was, diana said at the start of last year it was illegal. is it? haha... i dont know. a few months ago, there was this "100% illegal" thing at the bottom of the page, now its like copyrighted and haiyah dont know, it just seems like its legal.
-----------------------
are you ok? i hope you are. you are not a disappointment, trust me, you arent. we all love you, but you're hurting us by doing that. we all care. i managed to escape my darkness, even though i keep getting sucked in, but then i will not stop trying. i try to be happier, what about you? can you be happier? i know you can, dont belittle yourself, you are far better than you think. we'll all be happy to see you happy. really... you are strong, dont let anything affect you, overcome it, you do have the courage, dont think that you dont.
i'm worried, worried sick. i seriously dont know what to do. i dont know how to help, therefore making me feel helpless and useless. i have completely no idea how to help, because one mistake could make things worse, and i dont want it to happen. i dont want to know what will happen if things worsen, i dont think anyone would wanna know, anyone, namely me. it really does hurt when you see a bad situation and not being able to help. it will just give you this i'm-useless-get-out-of-my-way feeling. yeah.. maybe not "get-out-of-my-way" but then u will start to feel like you wanna start rotting and die.
Closer To Me - 5ive
Constantly girl you're on my mind,
and girl I think about you all of the time
and even though words are hard to say,
girl I miss you, never thought I'd feel this way.
[BRIDGE]
If you keep on taking, my heart you'll be breaking so why do you do this to me?
You know how I'm feeling it's you I believe in baby can't you see that I need you?
[CHORUS]
You know that it's true.
Every time I see your face I miss you baby
You know that it's you.
I want to let you know you're driving me crazy.
I'd do anything to help you to see, I don't think you understand what you're doing to me.
You know that it's true.
Every now and then I want to call you baby.
You know that it's you.
I say a prayer that you'll come back to me lady.
Oh yeah.
Life ain't anything alone can't you see you're an angel in my eyes,
everyday you're closer to me.
Nobody's there when I call your name,
and nights are cold girl without your flame.
But if I could girl I'd make you see.
That I'm sorry, and that I need you here with me.
[BRIDGE]
[CHORUS]
Every day reminisce with the past
of a love that we thought would last.
How we used to be when it was you and me.
How did it all disappear so fast.
There are days that I can't forget
there are things that I now regret.
I was there for you when you were there for me, and I was thinkin' we were set.
Every night when I'm laying in my bed
I hear your voice going round in my head, think of all the things
I could have done and all those things I could have said.
I really will make it up to you
I know now what I've got to do,
It took time but now I've realised how much I'm missing you.
[CHORUS]
if liz said she screwed the exams, then that means i did as well. haha, well thats common sense right? anyway liz, i dont think you did. even if you didnt, it doesnt mean i didnt, haha. the science diagrams were annoying. they were. the root hairs one were. section c was a killer. gah...
chinese tomorrow and my intuition tells me im gonna die. yea i think im gonna die this week. no confidence at all, which is BAD!!! man... i better do some preparations, haha.
it's liz's birthday tomorrow, hehe... actually the "hehe" doesnt mean anything. but then again it was suppose to mean something, i ust cant think of what it is. haha =] actually liz, im not that shocked when you said its thought that counts. haha actually.... im not shocked, haha am i being mean now? if i am, its unintentional =]
our very own inflexible stationery! haha long story, im not gonna post it even if it isnt a long story! but then i enjoy that inflexible stationery joke... haha
im trying my best to avoid the exam stress, but then my defence barrier is weak, so cant help it. =] it suddenly became the exam of life and death, for a funny reason. geez i might have been taking it too seriously, but then again... I AM SUPPOSE TO TAKE IT SERIOUSLY, haha
-----------------------
argh, i dont know whats with the pop-ups, i have the pop-ups block, but then i dont know why it isnt working very well. maybe its because my brother downloaded the kazaa thing. is the kazaa thing illegal? i thought it was, diana said at the start of last year it was illegal. is it? haha... i dont know. a few months ago, there was this "100% illegal" thing at the bottom of the page, now its like copyrighted and haiyah dont know, it just seems like its legal.
-----------------------
are you ok? i hope you are. you are not a disappointment, trust me, you arent. we all love you, but you're hurting us by doing that. we all care. i managed to escape my darkness, even though i keep getting sucked in, but then i will not stop trying. i try to be happier, what about you? can you be happier? i know you can, dont belittle yourself, you are far better than you think. we'll all be happy to see you happy. really... you are strong, dont let anything affect you, overcome it, you do have the courage, dont think that you dont.
i'm worried, worried sick. i seriously dont know what to do. i dont know how to help, therefore making me feel helpless and useless. i have completely no idea how to help, because one mistake could make things worse, and i dont want it to happen. i dont want to know what will happen if things worsen, i dont think anyone would wanna know, anyone, namely me. it really does hurt when you see a bad situation and not being able to help. it will just give you this i'm-useless-get-out-of-my-way feeling. yeah.. maybe not "get-out-of-my-way" but then u will start to feel like you wanna start rotting and die.
Closer To Me - 5ive
Constantly girl you're on my mind,
and girl I think about you all of the time
and even though words are hard to say,
girl I miss you, never thought I'd feel this way.
[BRIDGE]
If you keep on taking, my heart you'll be breaking so why do you do this to me?
You know how I'm feeling it's you I believe in baby can't you see that I need you?
[CHORUS]
You know that it's true.
Every time I see your face I miss you baby
You know that it's you.
I want to let you know you're driving me crazy.
I'd do anything to help you to see, I don't think you understand what you're doing to me.
You know that it's true.
Every now and then I want to call you baby.
You know that it's you.
I say a prayer that you'll come back to me lady.
Oh yeah.
Life ain't anything alone can't you see you're an angel in my eyes,
everyday you're closer to me.
Nobody's there when I call your name,
and nights are cold girl without your flame.
But if I could girl I'd make you see.
That I'm sorry, and that I need you here with me.
[BRIDGE]
[CHORUS]
Every day reminisce with the past
of a love that we thought would last.
How we used to be when it was you and me.
How did it all disappear so fast.
There are days that I can't forget
there are things that I now regret.
I was there for you when you were there for me, and I was thinkin' we were set.
Every night when I'm laying in my bed
I hear your voice going round in my head, think of all the things
I could have done and all those things I could have said.
I really will make it up to you
I know now what I've got to do,
It took time but now I've realised how much I'm missing you.
[CHORUS]
Friday, May 06, 2005
[a day of sorrow]
sorry for being such an idiot, such an irritating pest. thank you for making me a spare tire. i am grateful for the hurt you inflicted on me.
-------------------------
sick now. matilda and liz had to send me home. im sorry... but then again, thanks, im better now, since they were nagging at me to go sleep. haha
i survived the lit exam today. and i was right, since my intuition told me just lather thats all was gonna be the passage, haha. now my only concern is whether i can make it for monday's exam, since it is really important. i thnk im gonna screw the entire thing, but at least i tried. well yea...
i am trying to keep this attitude up even though i know i will definitely die tonight, because my brother will start bothering me, saying stuff like "if i see you and im not happy, i will punch you, and it will make me happy. i will punch you whenever im unhappy" geez of course i tried not to bother. since i was already cramming last night, with all the lit book and notes, and already very frustrated, he had to say all that to agitate me, and i ended breaking down on my own. i just hope i can dump that stupid attitude and stop being so immature for i m an immature freak, not being able to control my own emotions. well he just threw his blardy temper at me, and i am trying to distract myself of course. im fine. there are at least two reasons why he is cursing me now. firstly, he doesnt get to hog the computer now, and secondly, he wanted to watch smallville in the room, and since it was too soft, he threw his temper, switched off the tv and stomped out. you can hear the thumping and i think the neighbours downstairs might have heard it as well. i try to totally ignore this mindless brat for now, but who knows when i have totally lost it? he had his history exam today, and he didnt even touch his history book yesterday. when he fails, i get blamed, what an irony right? well yeah, thats reality at home. because spoilt pampered brats like him cant do anything, cant even sweep the floor properly, the other siblings will have to cover for him. that just helped increase my workload. well thats not so bad, since i get to work till i die right? this was what he did when he came home:
-switched on ps2 and started playing
-started talking to friend on HANDPHONE at home for at least 40 minutes
-went straight to the bed to sleep after talking with friend in his school uniform
-had to spend more than an hour trying to wake him up for dinner and got scolded by him for doing so
-then does nothing except watching tv
and his friend on the phone, he was singing some westlife song on the phone, my brother was obviously what? trying to show off how great his friend can sing and put the call on loudspeaker. his friend has disgraced westlife. geez... out of tune... haha, i was trying to hold my laughter of course, if not, i'll probably get a shelling for doing so.
im quite glad i have something to do during the june holidays, i'll probably try to stay outside where my brother is absent to save myself as well. i know he would do anything to get rid of me, except murder i guess. but i think he has plans already, ah wells, shall play by ear =]
my maths book and desk has been vandalised. yeah, my most precious textbook has been vandalised. apparently my brother was bored during tuition and decided to do a masterpiece on my belongings, and they are really masterpieces. argh
-------------------------
i didnt get it earlier, but i think i do now. they changed, they dont believe in us, or maybe they never did.
-------------------------
****** called again, earlier. actually i was suppose to encourage her to be her listening ear, but tonight, i ended up being a burden. im sorry. i hope ****** is able to keep reminding herself that we, as a class will be behind her, regardless of whether she is in ij or not. i think her new family is making use of her. i do not wish to see her like that, hurting herself time and time again.
believe.
-------------------------
Graduation (Friends Forever) - Vitamin C
And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year we won't be coming back
No more hanging out cause we're on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cause you don't have another day
Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound
And I keep thinking of that night in June
I didn't know much of love
But it came too soon
And there was me and you
And then we got real blue
Stay at home talking on the telephone
We'd get so excited, we'd get so scared
Laughing at ourselves thinking life's not fair
And this is how it feels
[1] - As we go on
We remember
All the times we
Had together
And as our lives change
Come whatever
We will still be
Friends Forever
So if we get the big jobs
And we make the big money
When we look back now
Will our jokes still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Can Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan?
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
And this is how it feels
[Repeat 1]
La, la, la, la:
Yeah, yeah, yeah
La, la, la, la:
We will still be friends forever
Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there?
Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us 'round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
[Repeat 1 (3x)]
sorry for being such an idiot, such an irritating pest. thank you for making me a spare tire. i am grateful for the hurt you inflicted on me.
-------------------------
sick now. matilda and liz had to send me home. im sorry... but then again, thanks, im better now, since they were nagging at me to go sleep. haha
i survived the lit exam today. and i was right, since my intuition told me just lather thats all was gonna be the passage, haha. now my only concern is whether i can make it for monday's exam, since it is really important. i thnk im gonna screw the entire thing, but at least i tried. well yea...
i am trying to keep this attitude up even though i know i will definitely die tonight, because my brother will start bothering me, saying stuff like "if i see you and im not happy, i will punch you, and it will make me happy. i will punch you whenever im unhappy" geez of course i tried not to bother. since i was already cramming last night, with all the lit book and notes, and already very frustrated, he had to say all that to agitate me, and i ended breaking down on my own. i just hope i can dump that stupid attitude and stop being so immature for i m an immature freak, not being able to control my own emotions. well he just threw his blardy temper at me, and i am trying to distract myself of course. im fine. there are at least two reasons why he is cursing me now. firstly, he doesnt get to hog the computer now, and secondly, he wanted to watch smallville in the room, and since it was too soft, he threw his temper, switched off the tv and stomped out. you can hear the thumping and i think the neighbours downstairs might have heard it as well. i try to totally ignore this mindless brat for now, but who knows when i have totally lost it? he had his history exam today, and he didnt even touch his history book yesterday. when he fails, i get blamed, what an irony right? well yeah, thats reality at home. because spoilt pampered brats like him cant do anything, cant even sweep the floor properly, the other siblings will have to cover for him. that just helped increase my workload. well thats not so bad, since i get to work till i die right? this was what he did when he came home:
-switched on ps2 and started playing
-started talking to friend on HANDPHONE at home for at least 40 minutes
-went straight to the bed to sleep after talking with friend in his school uniform
-had to spend more than an hour trying to wake him up for dinner and got scolded by him for doing so
-then does nothing except watching tv
and his friend on the phone, he was singing some westlife song on the phone, my brother was obviously what? trying to show off how great his friend can sing and put the call on loudspeaker. his friend has disgraced westlife. geez... out of tune... haha, i was trying to hold my laughter of course, if not, i'll probably get a shelling for doing so.
im quite glad i have something to do during the june holidays, i'll probably try to stay outside where my brother is absent to save myself as well. i know he would do anything to get rid of me, except murder i guess. but i think he has plans already, ah wells, shall play by ear =]
my maths book and desk has been vandalised. yeah, my most precious textbook has been vandalised. apparently my brother was bored during tuition and decided to do a masterpiece on my belongings, and they are really masterpieces. argh
-------------------------
i didnt get it earlier, but i think i do now. they changed, they dont believe in us, or maybe they never did.
-------------------------
****** called again, earlier. actually i was suppose to encourage her to be her listening ear, but tonight, i ended up being a burden. im sorry. i hope ****** is able to keep reminding herself that we, as a class will be behind her, regardless of whether she is in ij or not. i think her new family is making use of her. i do not wish to see her like that, hurting herself time and time again.
believe.
-------------------------
Graduation (Friends Forever) - Vitamin C
And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year we won't be coming back
No more hanging out cause we're on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cause you don't have another day
Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound
And I keep thinking of that night in June
I didn't know much of love
But it came too soon
And there was me and you
And then we got real blue
Stay at home talking on the telephone
We'd get so excited, we'd get so scared
Laughing at ourselves thinking life's not fair
And this is how it feels
[1] - As we go on
We remember
All the times we
Had together
And as our lives change
Come whatever
We will still be
Friends Forever
So if we get the big jobs
And we make the big money
When we look back now
Will our jokes still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Can Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan?
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
And this is how it feels
[Repeat 1]
La, la, la, la:
Yeah, yeah, yeah
La, la, la, la:
We will still be friends forever
Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there?
Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us 'round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
[Repeat 1 (3x)]
Thursday, May 05, 2005
[chalet]
im happier now? haha maybe? then dont worry about me. see? im much more cheerful and i have succeeded in changing that mindset, isnt that what you told me to do? i hope you'll cheer up too yea? no point telling me to cheer up when you dont you know. =]
i was under the exam stress yesterday for the first time during this critical period, and for me, i thought it was kinda ironic. but then i dont know why but then i just had problems. yeah. geez. anyway, all the best for the exams everyone. lit tomorrow and i can tell you i am dying now. blogging here is just to destress. so that i wont go bonkers later.
we watched an anime movie yesterday, during art. well i think the title is nausicca of the valley of the wind, or something like that. yeah it was abt the world 1000 yeas later, and theres this sea of decay and there were no animals involved. there were huge insects though. insects that are actually nice but can get nasty when provoked. haha yeah, it was a nice movie and i stayed in the art studio till 3pm to finish it.
i am feeling very lethargic at the moment. well thats me. haha yea. haha i think the next time i blog will be in a million years. yea. my brother is hogging the computer, so i cant listen to al the songs i downloaded frm the net and all. haha... i need music to study better. =]
i think the class chalet is gonna flop. FLOP. F-L-O-P. yea since i can tell PRACTICALLY no one is interested after bugging us abt it last year. and then not being able to get the class together to make a decision, even to whether have a bbq or not, is just difficult and we take forever to make a decision. i hope the two duplex chalets dont go to waste man... only 16 people gg... for 2 duplex chalets, is gonna be like omigosh. wasted. so people please come lar. those gg, get more people to come. the more people going, the less you have to pay man. and DON'T YOU DARE BACK OUT THE LAST MINUTE, or i'll personally come after you and you will die a horrible death!. haha you're not gonna die, but you will end up with a horrible ending. and dont ask stupid questions like what yee hui asked "can we back out the last minute?" cause im telling you now, NO WAY!
actually im blogging now with a calm state of mind and im laughing my head off, because im blowing up the matter, but im still serious man. dont back out. or else i will still come after you. and now its useless having only 16 people going, it will be so worthless and meaningless. then a supposed class gathering turns out to be a mini gathering and it wouldnt be fun. then i will have to force myself to finish the food and then i will die in the end. then again, i cant eat that much since my stomach is weak and eating too much will put me in a hospital, ok that was exaggerated. haha.
liz, tagboard please, i wanna tag your board. haha.
all the best for the exams!
Good Life - Jesse McCartney
If I were you I'd be taking it easy
Kick back and relax for a little while
We'll all still be here tomorrow
Take time just to act like a little child
No matter what the world has in store for us
You got the ring that better get off of us
Reach out for a comfortable chair
Rejoice and throw your arms in the air
[Chorus]
'Cause it's a good life so why y'all trippin'
The good life slippin' away
If you're boss is giving you pressure
Let go, take a breather in the park
You've got to find out what's your pleasure
In time you'll be singing like a lark
Pretty soon your sorry will chime for all
Somebody will heed your call
Reach out for a comfortable chair
Rejoice, throw your arms in the air
[Chorus]
Trade in some misery for some tender loving care
Cast aside those cloudy days fuses are all to bear
Make up your mind get a whole new lease on life
Reach out for a comfortable chair
Rejoice throw your hands in the air
Reach out for a comfortable chair
Rejoice throw your hands in the air
[Chorus]
im happier now? haha maybe? then dont worry about me. see? im much more cheerful and i have succeeded in changing that mindset, isnt that what you told me to do? i hope you'll cheer up too yea? no point telling me to cheer up when you dont you know. =]
i was under the exam stress yesterday for the first time during this critical period, and for me, i thought it was kinda ironic. but then i dont know why but then i just had problems. yeah. geez. anyway, all the best for the exams everyone. lit tomorrow and i can tell you i am dying now. blogging here is just to destress. so that i wont go bonkers later.
we watched an anime movie yesterday, during art. well i think the title is nausicca of the valley of the wind, or something like that. yeah it was abt the world 1000 yeas later, and theres this sea of decay and there were no animals involved. there were huge insects though. insects that are actually nice but can get nasty when provoked. haha yeah, it was a nice movie and i stayed in the art studio till 3pm to finish it.
i am feeling very lethargic at the moment. well thats me. haha yea. haha i think the next time i blog will be in a million years. yea. my brother is hogging the computer, so i cant listen to al the songs i downloaded frm the net and all. haha... i need music to study better. =]
i think the class chalet is gonna flop. FLOP. F-L-O-P. yea since i can tell PRACTICALLY no one is interested after bugging us abt it last year. and then not being able to get the class together to make a decision, even to whether have a bbq or not, is just difficult and we take forever to make a decision. i hope the two duplex chalets dont go to waste man... only 16 people gg... for 2 duplex chalets, is gonna be like omigosh. wasted. so people please come lar. those gg, get more people to come. the more people going, the less you have to pay man. and DON'T YOU DARE BACK OUT THE LAST MINUTE, or i'll personally come after you and you will die a horrible death!. haha you're not gonna die, but you will end up with a horrible ending. and dont ask stupid questions like what yee hui asked "can we back out the last minute?" cause im telling you now, NO WAY!
actually im blogging now with a calm state of mind and im laughing my head off, because im blowing up the matter, but im still serious man. dont back out. or else i will still come after you. and now its useless having only 16 people going, it will be so worthless and meaningless. then a supposed class gathering turns out to be a mini gathering and it wouldnt be fun. then i will have to force myself to finish the food and then i will die in the end. then again, i cant eat that much since my stomach is weak and eating too much will put me in a hospital, ok that was exaggerated. haha.
liz, tagboard please, i wanna tag your board. haha.
all the best for the exams!
Good Life - Jesse McCartney
If I were you I'd be taking it easy
Kick back and relax for a little while
We'll all still be here tomorrow
Take time just to act like a little child
No matter what the world has in store for us
You got the ring that better get off of us
Reach out for a comfortable chair
Rejoice and throw your arms in the air
[Chorus]
'Cause it's a good life so why y'all trippin'
The good life slippin' away
If you're boss is giving you pressure
Let go, take a breather in the park
You've got to find out what's your pleasure
In time you'll be singing like a lark
Pretty soon your sorry will chime for all
Somebody will heed your call
Reach out for a comfortable chair
Rejoice, throw your arms in the air
[Chorus]
Trade in some misery for some tender loving care
Cast aside those cloudy days fuses are all to bear
Make up your mind get a whole new lease on life
Reach out for a comfortable chair
Rejoice throw your hands in the air
Reach out for a comfortable chair
Rejoice throw your hands in the air
[Chorus]
Monday, May 02, 2005
[exams, dread it]
its very very late now. haha 1 hour 18 minutes past minight.
the reason why i hvnt blogged is because
1)i decided to keep away from the computer for a while
2)my brother is wasting a lot of electricity by playing gunbound with his friend and chatting on the handphone with THAT friend. yea... played for more than 15 hours on saturday (or rather yesterday, its still sunday to me now) and even longer today(sunday)
it rained on thusday, well, everyone knows. what made me say it was raining was because. i was carrying that box like i always did every morning i walk to school. so when i was walking, well the sky gave me the warning that it was gonna rain. so i thought i could get to school before it rains. when i was walking just outside oleander towers, it started to pour, i was drenched. not to forget my box. so i tried to save the box, and i didnt use my umbrella since i wouldnt be able to hang on to it without dropping my box right? so i went to school all drenched with my hair dripping wet and covering my face since i lowered my head when i was walking to school. the gel, supposedly keeping my hair neat was of course washed off, since i used very very little gel. so my hair was all funny. then i had to walk around st gabs bare footed because my shoes and socks were throughly wet. clare, cj and i tried blow drying our shoes and socks using the hand dryer in the toilet and hung our pinafores on the windows. well, my socks were wet by the time school was dimisssed. my shoes were damp and my pinafore was dry. i only wore shoes without socks for the rest of the day, and it felt funny. haha
friday was a much more interesting day i guess. liz, matilda and i were studying at the st raphael shed when there was this bird eating a lizard. quite scary. matilda couldnt bear to look at it. liz n i were watching it lar... since the lizard was thick-skinned (literally) the bird was trying to tear it apart, or maybe the body was like elastic, haha... so the bird was flipping it about as if it was roti prata or something. by the time the bird gave up, the lizard was like flat and the body was twisted. the tail was either squashed o gone. and the head was bleeding. the bird was going for the head. liz and i were squatting there, examining the lizard, haha. when i asked if we could return to st michael canteen, matilda was very agreeable and she climbed over the table and we went off. im a sadist. i was describing the lizard and matilda was utterly disgusted of course. haha
yesterday's study session didnt go well. haha liz couldnt come. novita and debby went to school to study until the guard chased them out. i was alone so i thought i went to library. so novita called me at around 2pm. they decided not to come in the end. i met michelle and cherlynn by coincidence and studied with them, but they left in the end, n i studied alone in the library and still left in the end.
my mum had some attitude prblems today like i dont know why either. then i couldnt study with my brother's annoying gang poems his friends sent him. he likes techno, i dont. i dont know whats so great abt techno... i just... dont like it. haha...
almost done with science revision. my brain shuts down when i start on history. i've yet to start on geog and chinese. i've started on maths and lit. i realised science is relatively easier, but i cant assure an A1, depends on whether i can trust myself, since im super dumb and canot trust myself to do such stuff even after doing it for like 8 years. geez....
------------------------------------
All About You - Mcfly
It's all about you (It's about you)
It's all about you, baby (It's all about you)
It's all about you (It's about you)
It's all about you
Yesterday, you asked me something I thought you knew.
So I told you with a smile 'It's all about you'
Then you whispered in my ear and you told me to,
Say 'If you make my life worthwhile, it's all about you'
And I would answer all you're wishes, if you asked me to.
But if you deny me one of your kisses, don't know what I'd do.
So hold me close and say three words, like you used to do.
Dancing on the kitchen tiles, it's all about you.
Yeah...
[Solo]
And I would answer all you're wishes, if you asked me to.
But if you deny me one of your kisses, don't know what I'd do.
So hold me close and say three words, like you used to do.
Dancing on the kitchen tiles,
Yes you make my life worthwhile,
So I told you with a smile...
It's all about you.
It's all about you (It's about you)
It's all about you, baby (It's all about you)
It's all about you (It's about you)
It's all about you
its very very late now. haha 1 hour 18 minutes past minight.
the reason why i hvnt blogged is because
1)i decided to keep away from the computer for a while
2)my brother is wasting a lot of electricity by playing gunbound with his friend and chatting on the handphone with THAT friend. yea... played for more than 15 hours on saturday (or rather yesterday, its still sunday to me now) and even longer today(sunday)
it rained on thusday, well, everyone knows. what made me say it was raining was because. i was carrying that box like i always did every morning i walk to school. so when i was walking, well the sky gave me the warning that it was gonna rain. so i thought i could get to school before it rains. when i was walking just outside oleander towers, it started to pour, i was drenched. not to forget my box. so i tried to save the box, and i didnt use my umbrella since i wouldnt be able to hang on to it without dropping my box right? so i went to school all drenched with my hair dripping wet and covering my face since i lowered my head when i was walking to school. the gel, supposedly keeping my hair neat was of course washed off, since i used very very little gel. so my hair was all funny. then i had to walk around st gabs bare footed because my shoes and socks were throughly wet. clare, cj and i tried blow drying our shoes and socks using the hand dryer in the toilet and hung our pinafores on the windows. well, my socks were wet by the time school was dimisssed. my shoes were damp and my pinafore was dry. i only wore shoes without socks for the rest of the day, and it felt funny. haha
friday was a much more interesting day i guess. liz, matilda and i were studying at the st raphael shed when there was this bird eating a lizard. quite scary. matilda couldnt bear to look at it. liz n i were watching it lar... since the lizard was thick-skinned (literally) the bird was trying to tear it apart, or maybe the body was like elastic, haha... so the bird was flipping it about as if it was roti prata or something. by the time the bird gave up, the lizard was like flat and the body was twisted. the tail was either squashed o gone. and the head was bleeding. the bird was going for the head. liz and i were squatting there, examining the lizard, haha. when i asked if we could return to st michael canteen, matilda was very agreeable and she climbed over the table and we went off. im a sadist. i was describing the lizard and matilda was utterly disgusted of course. haha
yesterday's study session didnt go well. haha liz couldnt come. novita and debby went to school to study until the guard chased them out. i was alone so i thought i went to library. so novita called me at around 2pm. they decided not to come in the end. i met michelle and cherlynn by coincidence and studied with them, but they left in the end, n i studied alone in the library and still left in the end.
my mum had some attitude prblems today like i dont know why either. then i couldnt study with my brother's annoying gang poems his friends sent him. he likes techno, i dont. i dont know whats so great abt techno... i just... dont like it. haha...
almost done with science revision. my brain shuts down when i start on history. i've yet to start on geog and chinese. i've started on maths and lit. i realised science is relatively easier, but i cant assure an A1, depends on whether i can trust myself, since im super dumb and canot trust myself to do such stuff even after doing it for like 8 years. geez....
------------------------------------
All About You - Mcfly
It's all about you (It's about you)
It's all about you, baby (It's all about you)
It's all about you (It's about you)
It's all about you
Yesterday, you asked me something I thought you knew.
So I told you with a smile 'It's all about you'
Then you whispered in my ear and you told me to,
Say 'If you make my life worthwhile, it's all about you'
And I would answer all you're wishes, if you asked me to.
But if you deny me one of your kisses, don't know what I'd do.
So hold me close and say three words, like you used to do.
Dancing on the kitchen tiles, it's all about you.
Yeah...
[Solo]
And I would answer all you're wishes, if you asked me to.
But if you deny me one of your kisses, don't know what I'd do.
So hold me close and say three words, like you used to do.
Dancing on the kitchen tiles,
Yes you make my life worthwhile,
So I told you with a smile...
It's all about you.
It's all about you (It's about you)
It's all about you, baby (It's all about you)
It's all about you (It's about you)
It's all about you
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
[far from the truth]
online lessons are so fun. haha...
exams are gonna be here soon, and im struggling, trying to memorize all six stories, all the notes mrs stephen gave us, science notes(actually not much notes, but still have a lot to memorize). my brain cells have decreased by at least 15%, maybe more.
i shall not complain abt homework... dont feel like to anyway.. haha...
i almost fell asleep in front of the computer just now. geez...
there are so many things im gonna do after the exams. after *****... im gonna start organizing the bbq thing with jess and gretch. then im gonna get the 100% senorita vcd. then there's science camp. i wanna go!!! going to malaysia without my parents for once might just be fun. then im gonna do like what delle asked me to do months ago... haha... i hope she'll be more relieved. and i will too be doing myself a great favour? haha maybe...
my brother's tutor is funny, FUNNY. i think i just enjoy him bullying my brother, how mean can i be? well let me answer that, im very very mean, beyond mean, im pure evil. haha... im dangerous too, very very dangerous. haha...
the exams are gonna be a nightmare. ms chye said the paper she set is difficult, very difficult. geez... i hope i get past that. its next friday. and i only realised 13th may is a friday. so i'll probably flunk my maths paper.haha you'll probably start laughing at me, because of my superstition, but then again, i dont quite believe it... every day is a bad day for me. so another day makes no diff, or is it worse?
i have made myself drink coffee, even though i dont at all. as i need the caffeine now, to prepare some stuff for tomorrow's purpose, finish my homework and iron my uniform.
there are more issues now. actually more than i tght. pray it'll pass after the exams? yea im trying to cheer myself up, which is good news right? haha.... man im mean, even to myself ah well =]
Disguise - Lene Marlin (100% Senorita, Ending Theme)
Have you ever felt some kind of emptiness inside
You will never measure up, to those people you
Must be strong, can't show them that you're weak
Have you ever told someone something
That's far from the truth
Let them know that you're okay
Just to make them stop
All the wondering, and questions they may have
I'm okay, I really am now
Just needed some time, to figure things out
Not telling lies, I'll be honest with you
Still we don't know what's yet to come
Have you ever seen your face,
In a mirror there's a smile
But inside you're just a mess,
You feel far from good
Need to hide, 'cos they'd never understand
Have you ever had this wish, of being
Somewhere else
To let go of your disguise, all your worries too
And from that moment, then you see things clear
I'm okay, I really am now
Just needed some time, to figure things out
Not telling lies, I'll be honest with you
Still we don't know what's yet to come
Are you waiting for the day
when your pain will disappear
when you know that it's not true
what they say about you
you could not care less about the things
surrounding you
ignoring all the voices from the walls
I'm okay, I really am now
Just needed some time, to figure things out
Not telling lies, I'll be honest with you
Still we don't know what's yet to come
I'm okay, I really am now
Just needed some time, to figure things out
Not telling lies, I'll be honest with you
Still we don't know what's yet to come
online lessons are so fun. haha...
exams are gonna be here soon, and im struggling, trying to memorize all six stories, all the notes mrs stephen gave us, science notes(actually not much notes, but still have a lot to memorize). my brain cells have decreased by at least 15%, maybe more.
i shall not complain abt homework... dont feel like to anyway.. haha...
i almost fell asleep in front of the computer just now. geez...
there are so many things im gonna do after the exams. after *****... im gonna start organizing the bbq thing with jess and gretch. then im gonna get the 100% senorita vcd. then there's science camp. i wanna go!!! going to malaysia without my parents for once might just be fun. then im gonna do like what delle asked me to do months ago... haha... i hope she'll be more relieved. and i will too be doing myself a great favour? haha maybe...
my brother's tutor is funny, FUNNY. i think i just enjoy him bullying my brother, how mean can i be? well let me answer that, im very very mean, beyond mean, im pure evil. haha... im dangerous too, very very dangerous. haha...
the exams are gonna be a nightmare. ms chye said the paper she set is difficult, very difficult. geez... i hope i get past that. its next friday. and i only realised 13th may is a friday. so i'll probably flunk my maths paper.haha you'll probably start laughing at me, because of my superstition, but then again, i dont quite believe it... every day is a bad day for me. so another day makes no diff, or is it worse?
i have made myself drink coffee, even though i dont at all. as i need the caffeine now, to prepare some stuff for tomorrow's purpose, finish my homework and iron my uniform.
there are more issues now. actually more than i tght. pray it'll pass after the exams? yea im trying to cheer myself up, which is good news right? haha.... man im mean, even to myself ah well =]
Disguise - Lene Marlin (100% Senorita, Ending Theme)
Have you ever felt some kind of emptiness inside
You will never measure up, to those people you
Must be strong, can't show them that you're weak
Have you ever told someone something
That's far from the truth
Let them know that you're okay
Just to make them stop
All the wondering, and questions they may have
I'm okay, I really am now
Just needed some time, to figure things out
Not telling lies, I'll be honest with you
Still we don't know what's yet to come
Have you ever seen your face,
In a mirror there's a smile
But inside you're just a mess,
You feel far from good
Need to hide, 'cos they'd never understand
Have you ever had this wish, of being
Somewhere else
To let go of your disguise, all your worries too
And from that moment, then you see things clear
I'm okay, I really am now
Just needed some time, to figure things out
Not telling lies, I'll be honest with you
Still we don't know what's yet to come
Are you waiting for the day
when your pain will disappear
when you know that it's not true
what they say about you
you could not care less about the things
surrounding you
ignoring all the voices from the walls
I'm okay, I really am now
Just needed some time, to figure things out
Not telling lies, I'll be honest with you
Still we don't know what's yet to come
I'm okay, I really am now
Just needed some time, to figure things out
Not telling lies, I'll be honest with you
Still we don't know what's yet to come
Monday, April 25, 2005
[i would rather not know then not being able to do anything except sit and watch]
im very tired. very. sheesh... i dont know how long more i have to hang on before i finally fade away. conflicts here and there. miscommunications here and there too. i just want to do something, to clear it. to at least clear a little. sigh... i cant stand myself not being able to do anything, only sit and watch.
sometimes, people cant just think of anything else but themselves. if only they looked at things not only from their perspective, then i guess its world peace. there is this big problem which is pissing everyone off but then these people refuse to do anything about it, they think that they shouldnt do anything just because no one else is doing it. i think that these people serious need to get a life.
i feel like giving these people a smack in the face to wake them up. no point complaining about it. do something. isnt it better than complaining? if it isnt, go get a life. no one will forgive you if you dont put in the least effort in saving the situation.
geez... im trying to keep calm. actually, im pretty calm now. im in the right state of mind to blog, havent lost my sanity, yet. yes, yet. which means i might lose it tomorrow for all i know. haha. sense the sarcasm?
having a mild headache. chinese listening compre exam tomorrow. i better go sleep, good night.
im very tired. very. sheesh... i dont know how long more i have to hang on before i finally fade away. conflicts here and there. miscommunications here and there too. i just want to do something, to clear it. to at least clear a little. sigh... i cant stand myself not being able to do anything, only sit and watch.
sometimes, people cant just think of anything else but themselves. if only they looked at things not only from their perspective, then i guess its world peace. there is this big problem which is pissing everyone off but then these people refuse to do anything about it, they think that they shouldnt do anything just because no one else is doing it. i think that these people serious need to get a life.
i feel like giving these people a smack in the face to wake them up. no point complaining about it. do something. isnt it better than complaining? if it isnt, go get a life. no one will forgive you if you dont put in the least effort in saving the situation.
geez... im trying to keep calm. actually, im pretty calm now. im in the right state of mind to blog, havent lost my sanity, yet. yes, yet. which means i might lose it tomorrow for all i know. haha. sense the sarcasm?
having a mild headache. chinese listening compre exam tomorrow. i better go sleep, good night.
Friday, April 22, 2005
[it feels like everything is out to make me lose control]
lose control? my temper? is it because my tolerance gauge is running low?
today was a horrible day, besides falling asleep once in a while, the mess 3/5 left us... was really.... we cleaned up for 1/2, sweeping the floor, removing the noticeboard bg for them, put the chairs on the tables, making the classroom look cleaner. but then when we went to 3/5, we were so shocked... i dont know 1/2 cleaned up the classroom for 3/5. so we have to spend time cleaning up again
sigh...
lose control? my temper? is it because my tolerance gauge is running low?
today was a horrible day, besides falling asleep once in a while, the mess 3/5 left us... was really.... we cleaned up for 1/2, sweeping the floor, removing the noticeboard bg for them, put the chairs on the tables, making the classroom look cleaner. but then when we went to 3/5, we were so shocked... i dont know 1/2 cleaned up the classroom for 3/5. so we have to spend time cleaning up again
sigh...
Thursday, April 21, 2005
[disguise]
the netball finals were fun today. we won the champion for both c n b division. haha cool! and i fell asleep because i was too exhausted and its not because i was bored. and we beat SSS, woohoo!!! so nice... =]
chinese songs are ringing in my head every second. haha... im obsessed, i think. im still suffering frm my withdrawal symptoms, i think. i was watching love at dolphin bay on channel u last night, and when it came to the end of the show, i was like "o ok... good, the next episode's tomorrow, haha" instead of "Oh my gosh!!! its tomorrow... no no i cant wait liao, must watch the next episode" and i take the vcd out to watch, probably because i sort of knew what was gg on next? haha... but i still love the show. =] and 100% senorita is my next target. i wont forget abt dolphin bay of course, since it is like one of my faves now, except i try not to think abt the last episode, since its so saddening. but then 100% senorita costs a bomb please! its $59.90, and after the discount frm my vip card, i'll have to pay $56.90 but its still too much for me... nvm... i shall save.... SAVE... hmmm.... i feel like sacrificing one week's allowance and then go buy the vcd the next week.... i shall starve, for my vcd, now thats... psycho. haha, i might not even succeed, but then, with determination, i can make it possible right? hehe...
we're moving back to st gabs!!! woohoo!!! i shall look back now... 3rd jan, first day of school, when we were sort of enjoying ourselves in st gabs and we suddenly had to move, that was really sad. then january was coming to an end when mrs seah said we will be moving back at the end of february. so we waited... and in the end, we still couldnt go back, because the girl's fractured leg was still fractured, all that happiness for nothing. so then march came, no news, and finally april. mid april, when everyone started talking about no being able to go back. complaining and whining, complaining and whining, until today, when we received the news about being able to go back! rejoice!!! we were sort of getting fed up with the school always changing our classroom. last year we moved a level up, and this year its frm a block to another. but its better now... since we're finally back.
was having great fun during science today, when we had that group activity on digestions in animals. so since our little pieces of papers with the names of the organs on were flying around, i put them under the book and when the piece of paper with the name "rectum" was like "missing", jess was like "o no, we lost our rectum" haha we all burst out laughing because she said that... quite sick. we found that piece of paper and while we were colouring the paper with colour pens, gretchen coloured the pancreas orange. i told gretchen "eeyer, an ornage pancreas is quite gross" so then we started laughing again because our organs had weird colours. i coloured the gullet green. jess coloured the small intestine dark green, i coloured the ileum blue. jaime coloured the large intestine purple so it all looked funny. haha... and the video about the food going down the gullet really grossed everyone out, esp when u are looking at a really human being swallowing the food with the x-ray scan. you can see the food slide down the gullet which was quite scary.
my mum was really mad at mediacorp because when she was watching the ch 8 and the ch u news, they made a mistake in their language. the same mistake, its like a really small mistake, and she had to send an email to mediacorp and told them "i truly hope this matter will be taken to very serious consideration" i think she was just blowing up the matter, which was of course unnecessary. so then i didnt say anything as well... why is it a must to take it to VERY SERIOUS consideration?
was reading the letter thing we all did during the arc chalet. then it sort of struck me... like i dont know what happened as well, but i feel different inside me. is that good? then the messages were really nice... its not as if i never read it before, but then everytime i read it, it sort of gave me a nice feeling. =]
im gonna sleep slightly early since i realised i could even fall asleep at the netball match with all that screaming and cheering. i could sleep at 10pm, but then my mum was writing that email before i blogged, so i guess i hve blogged enough. want to blog somme more but then i am really sleepy now... deprived... is the right word. ok good night!
the netball finals were fun today. we won the champion for both c n b division. haha cool! and i fell asleep because i was too exhausted and its not because i was bored. and we beat SSS, woohoo!!! so nice... =]
chinese songs are ringing in my head every second. haha... im obsessed, i think. im still suffering frm my withdrawal symptoms, i think. i was watching love at dolphin bay on channel u last night, and when it came to the end of the show, i was like "o ok... good, the next episode's tomorrow, haha" instead of "Oh my gosh!!! its tomorrow... no no i cant wait liao, must watch the next episode" and i take the vcd out to watch, probably because i sort of knew what was gg on next? haha... but i still love the show. =] and 100% senorita is my next target. i wont forget abt dolphin bay of course, since it is like one of my faves now, except i try not to think abt the last episode, since its so saddening. but then 100% senorita costs a bomb please! its $59.90, and after the discount frm my vip card, i'll have to pay $56.90 but its still too much for me... nvm... i shall save.... SAVE... hmmm.... i feel like sacrificing one week's allowance and then go buy the vcd the next week.... i shall starve, for my vcd, now thats... psycho. haha, i might not even succeed, but then, with determination, i can make it possible right? hehe...
we're moving back to st gabs!!! woohoo!!! i shall look back now... 3rd jan, first day of school, when we were sort of enjoying ourselves in st gabs and we suddenly had to move, that was really sad. then january was coming to an end when mrs seah said we will be moving back at the end of february. so we waited... and in the end, we still couldnt go back, because the girl's fractured leg was still fractured, all that happiness for nothing. so then march came, no news, and finally april. mid april, when everyone started talking about no being able to go back. complaining and whining, complaining and whining, until today, when we received the news about being able to go back! rejoice!!! we were sort of getting fed up with the school always changing our classroom. last year we moved a level up, and this year its frm a block to another. but its better now... since we're finally back.
was having great fun during science today, when we had that group activity on digestions in animals. so since our little pieces of papers with the names of the organs on were flying around, i put them under the book and when the piece of paper with the name "rectum" was like "missing", jess was like "o no, we lost our rectum" haha we all burst out laughing because she said that... quite sick. we found that piece of paper and while we were colouring the paper with colour pens, gretchen coloured the pancreas orange. i told gretchen "eeyer, an ornage pancreas is quite gross" so then we started laughing again because our organs had weird colours. i coloured the gullet green. jess coloured the small intestine dark green, i coloured the ileum blue. jaime coloured the large intestine purple so it all looked funny. haha... and the video about the food going down the gullet really grossed everyone out, esp when u are looking at a really human being swallowing the food with the x-ray scan. you can see the food slide down the gullet which was quite scary.
my mum was really mad at mediacorp because when she was watching the ch 8 and the ch u news, they made a mistake in their language. the same mistake, its like a really small mistake, and she had to send an email to mediacorp and told them "i truly hope this matter will be taken to very serious consideration" i think she was just blowing up the matter, which was of course unnecessary. so then i didnt say anything as well... why is it a must to take it to VERY SERIOUS consideration?
was reading the letter thing we all did during the arc chalet. then it sort of struck me... like i dont know what happened as well, but i feel different inside me. is that good? then the messages were really nice... its not as if i never read it before, but then everytime i read it, it sort of gave me a nice feeling. =]
im gonna sleep slightly early since i realised i could even fall asleep at the netball match with all that screaming and cheering. i could sleep at 10pm, but then my mum was writing that email before i blogged, so i guess i hve blogged enough. want to blog somme more but then i am really sleepy now... deprived... is the right word. ok good night!
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
i have decided to start on a new taiwanese drama after the exams, after *****. 100% senorita, qian jin bai fen bai. i heard of it last year. so when i read abt it on the net, i tght it was quite interesting. i downloaded clips of the show today, they're actually not bad... so then i was more keen on getting the show after the exams. and maybe liz n matilda are gonna b interested because that guy is one of the main characters. haha, shall not go into further detail. i have realised my taiwanese drama craze once again... but the last time i had this craze, was when i was p6. then, the shows werent that nice... not as good as the shows now. serious, im making a comparision and i realised the more complicating the story is, the better. and there are better actors and actresses now. but then the new taiwanese dramas either have 5566 as their main or some funny funny band, and i dont like it... mvp was nice. westside story was ok... but the they're not as good as 100% senorita and at the dolphin bay.
basically there isnt much of a diff btween the cast of love at dolphin bay and the cast of 100% senorita. 100% senorita isnt as sad as love at dolphin bay. its more of a tragedy, when a pair or twin sisters are separated at birth. then things are complicated. the twin who grew up to be a really successful businesswoman, was pushed off he cliff in a car by this guy, bi de. then she was rescued but she has lost her face. so the guy who saved her was a plastic surgeon, he made her face to look like his daughter. then the other twin, became the businesswoman, for i dont know how. theres more, but then i dont know how to put it, i hvnt even watched it... and i will be... soon... next month...
gah... i gtg good night... this post is all abt taiwanese drama, and its quite crappy... geez...
basically there isnt much of a diff btween the cast of love at dolphin bay and the cast of 100% senorita. 100% senorita isnt as sad as love at dolphin bay. its more of a tragedy, when a pair or twin sisters are separated at birth. then things are complicated. the twin who grew up to be a really successful businesswoman, was pushed off he cliff in a car by this guy, bi de. then she was rescued but she has lost her face. so the guy who saved her was a plastic surgeon, he made her face to look like his daughter. then the other twin, became the businesswoman, for i dont know how. theres more, but then i dont know how to put it, i hvnt even watched it... and i will be... soon... next month...
gah... i gtg good night... this post is all abt taiwanese drama, and its quite crappy... geez...
Monday, April 18, 2005
[i don't want to know]
how slow-witted can i actually be? why didnt i even realise that song didnt sound original... haha what a brainless git.
watched an entire weekend of love at dolphin bay. i borrowed money from my mum last friday to buy it. and i finished it in three days. incredible, how i can finish a 1278 minute drama in three days. haha actually its longer than 1278 minutes, i hvnt calculated the seconds. quite amazing... haha i didnt sleep a wink on saturday night, just sat there, watch and watch. i mean, at the end of an episode, they will show a few scenes of the next episode, then i will be really eager to go on to the next episode. so i couldnt stop watching. by the time i finished watching, i regretted a little, for not savouring it slowly... but then again, i was really eager to watch the next disc, watch and watch.. haha. but the reason why i regretted not savouring it slowly is because when i finished watching the entire thing, i felt as though something is missing in my life, when i told SOME people today, they said it was love or a bf. what shit? kabish! no way man... its not that, probably not enough dolphin bay for me. geez.... then again... i wished they made it longer, cause the show ended like that, without what happened to tianbian and zeya a few years after they got back together again. so im quite upset over THAT. haha, u may think im really bo liao, but then yeah... i dont know why im like that either. maybe withdrawal symptoms... haha i ever thought of whether i would suffer from that. and sort of knew i wouldnt suffer from that in my entire life. but i guess not.. i ont know if this is the first time, doesnt feel lik it, come to think of it. haha... still trying to cure that sypmtom, guess its unlikely for me to get over it so soon. it'll probably take me months... or a year?
after downloading the love at dolphin bay soundtrack from the net, i realised how well ambrose hsu can sing... haha im gonna get the album. and angela zhang's as well... haha, why is it that im suddenly listening to chinese music again? it has been years, 3 years since i listened to this much chinese songs. 3 years ago, i listened to all sorts of chinese songs, haha, i think u didnt know that. but yeah, because of listening to chinese songs, my chinese was like the second subject after maths. then i suddenly stopped listening to chinese, or maybe just seldom, very very seldom, then rarely. i have this feeling i will only be listening to a limited number of chinese songs... hmmm... shall not continue
the whole story is sad. from the first episode, right to the last, there are at least 5 scenes of crying. in every episode, and i mean EVERY, there is definitely someone crying. i can tell this story is really very sad... and its quite touching. whoever who watches it will be left with a great impression. liz and matilda said it was cliche, haha quite. and the guy int that ugly, just because his hair looks weird... haha its quite fine to me, n i guess his forehead has that funny "M" shape, because its the genes... haha. liz, matilda n donna came to my house after pft to watch vcd with me. liz and matilda commented on their looks more than the show, the story. haha they were commenting on how chio/pretty this girl is. how cute this guy is, and how ugly how this guy is. haha o man, its the first time i've ever seen them like that... serious... but then again, it was really amusing...
shall leave a chinese song in this post, and another in the next... hmmm.... haha.. my apologies to those who detests chinese songs. and this song is nice... dont say it isnt, haha jk... apparently the lyrics are... well its the taiwanese version, so some people, esp those who dont watch taiwanese dramas that often, will not understand the chinese characters
i think she hates me, but then again, i cant do anything right? now we walk past each other without a hello, when there was suppose to be one. geez... i will think of something...
something is wrong with CJ today, she sat in class really quietly, then walked to the hall for assembly like a living corpse. i dont know what happened to her... she doesnt seem okay...
CJ, i do hope you're okay? are you?
-Love At The Dolphin Bay, Ending Theme - Angela Zhang (this one is the real one, the other one is a fake, gah....)
-I Don't Want To Know - Chen Wei
-Side - Ambrose Hsu
how slow-witted can i actually be? why didnt i even realise that song didnt sound original... haha what a brainless git.
watched an entire weekend of love at dolphin bay. i borrowed money from my mum last friday to buy it. and i finished it in three days. incredible, how i can finish a 1278 minute drama in three days. haha actually its longer than 1278 minutes, i hvnt calculated the seconds. quite amazing... haha i didnt sleep a wink on saturday night, just sat there, watch and watch. i mean, at the end of an episode, they will show a few scenes of the next episode, then i will be really eager to go on to the next episode. so i couldnt stop watching. by the time i finished watching, i regretted a little, for not savouring it slowly... but then again, i was really eager to watch the next disc, watch and watch.. haha. but the reason why i regretted not savouring it slowly is because when i finished watching the entire thing, i felt as though something is missing in my life, when i told SOME people today, they said it was love or a bf. what shit? kabish! no way man... its not that, probably not enough dolphin bay for me. geez.... then again... i wished they made it longer, cause the show ended like that, without what happened to tianbian and zeya a few years after they got back together again. so im quite upset over THAT. haha, u may think im really bo liao, but then yeah... i dont know why im like that either. maybe withdrawal symptoms... haha i ever thought of whether i would suffer from that. and sort of knew i wouldnt suffer from that in my entire life. but i guess not.. i ont know if this is the first time, doesnt feel lik it, come to think of it. haha... still trying to cure that sypmtom, guess its unlikely for me to get over it so soon. it'll probably take me months... or a year?
after downloading the love at dolphin bay soundtrack from the net, i realised how well ambrose hsu can sing... haha im gonna get the album. and angela zhang's as well... haha, why is it that im suddenly listening to chinese music again? it has been years, 3 years since i listened to this much chinese songs. 3 years ago, i listened to all sorts of chinese songs, haha, i think u didnt know that. but yeah, because of listening to chinese songs, my chinese was like the second subject after maths. then i suddenly stopped listening to chinese, or maybe just seldom, very very seldom, then rarely. i have this feeling i will only be listening to a limited number of chinese songs... hmmm... shall not continue
the whole story is sad. from the first episode, right to the last, there are at least 5 scenes of crying. in every episode, and i mean EVERY, there is definitely someone crying. i can tell this story is really very sad... and its quite touching. whoever who watches it will be left with a great impression. liz and matilda said it was cliche, haha quite. and the guy int that ugly, just because his hair looks weird... haha its quite fine to me, n i guess his forehead has that funny "M" shape, because its the genes... haha. liz, matilda n donna came to my house after pft to watch vcd with me. liz and matilda commented on their looks more than the show, the story. haha they were commenting on how chio/pretty this girl is. how cute this guy is, and how ugly how this guy is. haha o man, its the first time i've ever seen them like that... serious... but then again, it was really amusing...
shall leave a chinese song in this post, and another in the next... hmmm.... haha.. my apologies to those who detests chinese songs. and this song is nice... dont say it isnt, haha jk... apparently the lyrics are... well its the taiwanese version, so some people, esp those who dont watch taiwanese dramas that often, will not understand the chinese characters
i think she hates me, but then again, i cant do anything right? now we walk past each other without a hello, when there was suppose to be one. geez... i will think of something...
something is wrong with CJ today, she sat in class really quietly, then walked to the hall for assembly like a living corpse. i dont know what happened to her... she doesnt seem okay...
CJ, i do hope you're okay? are you?
-Love At The Dolphin Bay, Ending Theme - Angela Zhang (this one is the real one, the other one is a fake, gah....)
-I Don't Want To Know - Chen Wei
-Side - Ambrose Hsu
Thursday, April 14, 2005
[long journey]
so i didnt stay up all night last night, after realising i would not be able to hang on up to 1.45am, and it was already 1.30am. so i decided to draw the stuff on to the A2 paper and go to sleep. so now, im really gonna stay up the entire night. still as sick as a dog. terrible... and i was trying to keep awake during english. was really awake during maths, even though i still felt really lethargic. then we spoke to mrs wong and she gave us some really useful advice.
i enjoyed myself chatting with sharlene, yiping, dan and clare after school today, in class. when everyone's gone, its more fun to chat actually. so we spent more than an hour csitting there and chatting. at the same time eating and eating the stuff i brought, haha. we talked about so many stuff, and when yiping finally freaked out because her tuition starts at 3.30pm and it was already 2.45pm, we all left and i went home with dan.
tomorrow's the thrash out, im gonna thrash all i want and i do hope no one thrash talks, yeah that was super duper lame. but i really hope that this thrashing out will actually help you know, like really help. ince there were so many backstabbing and gossip, it is finally time to thrash it all out. sharlene's under a lot of stress because of some class issues and she isnt in the class comm, i salute her. she cares and i find that really nice and good.
actually, mrs wong is right abt me being partly at fault for what happened for the international friendship day contest. it was my fault... for being too nice and soft-hearted, dont know how to say no. haha, yeah... the thing is, i dont know how to. i just dont know how to say a straight no without feeling the least guilty.
my brother was being an idiot when he came home. because i was using water colours for the colour scheme for art, he can over and topple the container of water. ok... so my other three coluour schemes were wet, my homework was wet and what's worse? my phone was just next to the container and it was completely wet, so then he started apologizing in a tone as if he knew it wasnt his fault. he purposely hit hard on the container, he even made that weird sound effect. so my phone was wet. fortunately, it was wet on the inside but what will happen if the water seep in? he'll buy a new phone for m? so then when my mum found out, she started TELLING (not scolding) my brother to stop doing that. but then he was like "what did i do? i did nothing wrong at all. why blame me?" and he wasnt gonna admit it. he even said he does that to any container he sees, even if its empty. i felt like boxing him. he was clearly finding an excuse to get out of it and push the blame to me. like what did i even do? i had to clean up. my stuff were soaked. what an idiot and insensitive idiot.
i look really scary now, cause i have this pair of bloodshot eyes that can scare the wits out of anyone. haha, i just remembered that, insufficient can kill and at the same time too much sleep can too, kill. i think if i wanted to die because of sleep, i will go with too much sleep. i was really tired at like 7pm, but after a shower, i was all energetic, i think i shall go take a shower every time i feel like im gonna fall off the chair. ok what i predict next would probably be a headache or dizziness. haha... maybe im exaggerating.
im drifting further and further away... further than i ever thought i would actually be. dan asked me today, "nana, who is your best friend?" and that was when i realised... i didnt really have a best friend. or maybe i didnt have any real friends except afew, because the rest were sort of using me all along, like a spare tyre. after so long, it finally hit me, right? they told me i was wrong, yeah i admit i am. but then do they see me trying? or is it because im trying too hard that they find me a pest and decided to take revenge? seriously... i dont know what they are thinking and what they want. in the end, i dont know how the heck im suppose to talk to them and i end up sort of being blamed for it right? im not mad you know, i really am not, just confused by what has happened. am i not doing my best? please tell me, so that i will know what to do. dont keep me in suspense. it seems that they just find me irrtating and want me off their backs. and by the time they wanna tell me, that'll be like a little too late?
blah... i really feel like a total idiot okay? because i spend all my time thinking of a solution, but then because they dont do anything to make things better, its putting me in a spot. i get stuck then wouldnt it get worse? they might be waiting for me, but then have they thought that i am too, waiting for them? im fulfilling their wishes by trying to talk to them, but it doesnt seem like its working. yeah. then why wait any longer? is it wrong to reflect?
do i sound really angry, i think i do, but actually im not. okay if this sounds wrong to you, please send me off for anger management, thanks =]
There You'll Be - Faith Hill
When I think back
On these times
And the dreams
We left behind
I'll be glad 'cause
I was blessed to get
To have you in my life
When I look back
On these days
I'll look and see your face
You were right there for me
[Chorus:]
In my dreams
I'll always see you soar
Above the sky
In my heart
There will always be a place
For you for all my life
I'll keep a part
Of you with me
And everywhere I am
There you'll be
Well you showed me
How it feels
To feel the sky
Within my reach
And I always
Will remember all
The strength you
Gave to me
Your love made me
Make it through
Oh, I owe so much to you
You were right there for me
[Repeat chorus]
'Cause I always saw in you
My light, my strength
And I want to thank you
Now for all the ways
You were right there for me
You were right there for me
For always
[Repeat chorus]
so i didnt stay up all night last night, after realising i would not be able to hang on up to 1.45am, and it was already 1.30am. so i decided to draw the stuff on to the A2 paper and go to sleep. so now, im really gonna stay up the entire night. still as sick as a dog. terrible... and i was trying to keep awake during english. was really awake during maths, even though i still felt really lethargic. then we spoke to mrs wong and she gave us some really useful advice.
i enjoyed myself chatting with sharlene, yiping, dan and clare after school today, in class. when everyone's gone, its more fun to chat actually. so we spent more than an hour csitting there and chatting. at the same time eating and eating the stuff i brought, haha. we talked about so many stuff, and when yiping finally freaked out because her tuition starts at 3.30pm and it was already 2.45pm, we all left and i went home with dan.
tomorrow's the thrash out, im gonna thrash all i want and i do hope no one thrash talks, yeah that was super duper lame. but i really hope that this thrashing out will actually help you know, like really help. ince there were so many backstabbing and gossip, it is finally time to thrash it all out. sharlene's under a lot of stress because of some class issues and she isnt in the class comm, i salute her. she cares and i find that really nice and good.
actually, mrs wong is right abt me being partly at fault for what happened for the international friendship day contest. it was my fault... for being too nice and soft-hearted, dont know how to say no. haha, yeah... the thing is, i dont know how to. i just dont know how to say a straight no without feeling the least guilty.
my brother was being an idiot when he came home. because i was using water colours for the colour scheme for art, he can over and topple the container of water. ok... so my other three coluour schemes were wet, my homework was wet and what's worse? my phone was just next to the container and it was completely wet, so then he started apologizing in a tone as if he knew it wasnt his fault. he purposely hit hard on the container, he even made that weird sound effect. so my phone was wet. fortunately, it was wet on the inside but what will happen if the water seep in? he'll buy a new phone for m? so then when my mum found out, she started TELLING (not scolding) my brother to stop doing that. but then he was like "what did i do? i did nothing wrong at all. why blame me?" and he wasnt gonna admit it. he even said he does that to any container he sees, even if its empty. i felt like boxing him. he was clearly finding an excuse to get out of it and push the blame to me. like what did i even do? i had to clean up. my stuff were soaked. what an idiot and insensitive idiot.
i look really scary now, cause i have this pair of bloodshot eyes that can scare the wits out of anyone. haha, i just remembered that, insufficient can kill and at the same time too much sleep can too, kill. i think if i wanted to die because of sleep, i will go with too much sleep. i was really tired at like 7pm, but after a shower, i was all energetic, i think i shall go take a shower every time i feel like im gonna fall off the chair. ok what i predict next would probably be a headache or dizziness. haha... maybe im exaggerating.
im drifting further and further away... further than i ever thought i would actually be. dan asked me today, "nana, who is your best friend?" and that was when i realised... i didnt really have a best friend. or maybe i didnt have any real friends except afew, because the rest were sort of using me all along, like a spare tyre. after so long, it finally hit me, right? they told me i was wrong, yeah i admit i am. but then do they see me trying? or is it because im trying too hard that they find me a pest and decided to take revenge? seriously... i dont know what they are thinking and what they want. in the end, i dont know how the heck im suppose to talk to them and i end up sort of being blamed for it right? im not mad you know, i really am not, just confused by what has happened. am i not doing my best? please tell me, so that i will know what to do. dont keep me in suspense. it seems that they just find me irrtating and want me off their backs. and by the time they wanna tell me, that'll be like a little too late?
blah... i really feel like a total idiot okay? because i spend all my time thinking of a solution, but then because they dont do anything to make things better, its putting me in a spot. i get stuck then wouldnt it get worse? they might be waiting for me, but then have they thought that i am too, waiting for them? im fulfilling their wishes by trying to talk to them, but it doesnt seem like its working. yeah. then why wait any longer? is it wrong to reflect?
do i sound really angry, i think i do, but actually im not. okay if this sounds wrong to you, please send me off for anger management, thanks =]
There You'll Be - Faith Hill
When I think back
On these times
And the dreams
We left behind
I'll be glad 'cause
I was blessed to get
To have you in my life
When I look back
On these days
I'll look and see your face
You were right there for me
[Chorus:]
In my dreams
I'll always see you soar
Above the sky
In my heart
There will always be a place
For you for all my life
I'll keep a part
Of you with me
And everywhere I am
There you'll be
Well you showed me
How it feels
To feel the sky
Within my reach
And I always
Will remember all
The strength you
Gave to me
Your love made me
Make it through
Oh, I owe so much to you
You were right there for me
[Repeat chorus]
'Cause I always saw in you
My light, my strength
And I want to thank you
Now for all the ways
You were right there for me
You were right there for me
For always
[Repeat chorus]
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
[a mixture of guilt, unhappiness, exhaustion, and many other emotions and feelings]
i still have to finish my art and english. english is tiring... so is art.
sick at the moment, down with a terminal disease, yeah.. im exaggerating. i have been sneezing and sneezing... feeling super lethargic and feverish. i had a slight fever before i came to school. now i still have... my nose is all red, and my face is red. i look really tired and yes, i am exhausted. just ironed a whole pile of clothes and starting on my homework. the clothes came first because i didnt iron them last night because of the chinese ca. so i am also doing half my brother's chores. i scalded my right hand while ironing the clothes. it still hurts, im waiting for it to like not hurt anymore so that i can carry on doing my work really quickly. cant believe i was so careless to even scald my hand, quite retarded. i dont know if i can still go to school tomorrow... i cant sleep tonight. i have decided to sacrifice sleep and do my work, even if it takes the entire night...
love a dolphin bay is a great tawainese drama. its on channel u, at 7.30pm, from wednesday to friday. its really nice.. i like the story. even though its suppose to be really drama-mama, but then its still quite nice. im gonna buy the vcd. its $29.90, i'll buy it with my allowance next week. since i have the member priveledge, i'll only have to pay $28.40, hehe, not bad... its like after watching one episode, u're really eager to watch the next one. and slowly, u'll be addicted to the show. i cant watch it now, even if i bought the vcd, i have to study, mug my life away. so no "love at dolphin bay" for me. quite sad, but then after the exams, i have to concentrate on *****, since its right after the exams. so i'll watch it only during the holidays. this song is a chinese song, the show's ending theme.
Love at Dolphin Bay's Ending Theme - Angela Zhang
things have really been bad for me these few days. my brother thinks im always picking on him so he starts his vulgarity attack on me and then blah blah...
-----------------------------------
Intuitive Thinkers (aka peace-keepers, so very wrong...):
-believes that life and learning are personal experiences.
-tunes into feelings and attitudes around them
-learns from others in a friendly, cooperative way
-uses their imagination to make learning real
-responds easily to friendly people
-asks for personal opinions from others before deciding
-"reads into" what is said
-is unpredictable and spontaneous
-is ruled by emotions and feeling; wears heart on sleeve; volunteers feelings easily
-likes personal attention from a teacher
-can get easily discouraged by a teacher's criticism
-draws upon past feelings when deciding, and looks seriously at past consequences
-does well in tests where she has oppurtuinity to explain in her own words
-adjusts easily to changes in routines
-learns from others by watching and talking informally
-explains knowledge through stories, metaphors and personal experiences
-prefers reading interpretations of ideas rather than the ideas themselves
-can have may projects in the works at once; goes back and forth between projects
-is not affected by a messy work space
-may have difficulty with objective tests
-gets bored with details and "busy work"
-likes to learn about human nature; work with people
there are so many more characteristics but too many to list out... apparently, im an intuitive thinker. intuitive thinkers turn out to be really emotional people, and im one of the intuitive thinkers... some of the characteristics are true, some are not. the thing abt doing well in tests that has the oppurtuinity to explain in my own words, very wrong. likes personal attention from a teacher, very very wrong. easily discouraged by teachers' criticism, that, i dont know... but as far as i know... intuitive thinkers are the ones that cry a lot too. and cannot accept criticism, now that is mking us sound really petty... who says i cant? i can... right? haiyoh both mag n geraldine are a mix of literal thinkers, ituitive thinkers and theoretical thinkers. that is suppose to be very good, they're all-rounders.
-----------------------------------
haiyoh.. i relly dont know if its really my problem? whether it is my fault or whether the whole problem lies with me. why is it that no matter how hard i try, they will still think that way? am i not trying hard enough/ or am i trying too hard that they find me really annoying? if im really annoying, then please tell me, tell me im damn annoying and i need to get off your backs. thank you... because if yall are gonna go on about me being a real bug and im going too far, please tell me. because i really need to know. i really dont want to be irritating anyone. so please do me a favour and tell me. it applies to anyone... if you find me irritating, annoying you and u're sick of me, please tell me, thanks. because i might feel less hurt like this, thank you.
Journey - Angela Zhang (Love at Dolphin Bay)
It's a long long journey
Till I know where I'm supposed to be
It's a long long journey
And I don't know if I can believe
When shadows fall and block my eyes
I am lost and know that I must hide
It's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you
Many days I've spent
Drifting on through empty shores
Wondering what's my purpose
Wondering how to make me strong
I know I will falter I know I will cry
I know you'll be standing by my side
It's a long long journey
And I need to be close to you
Sometimes it feels no one understands
I don't even know why
I do the things I do
When pride builds me up till I can't see my soul
Will you break down these walls and pull me through?
Cause It's a long long journey
Till I feel that I am worth the price
You paid for me on calvary
Beneath those stormy skies
When Satan mocks and friends turn to foes
It feels like everything is out to make me lose control
Cause It's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you ... to you
i still have to finish my art and english. english is tiring... so is art.
sick at the moment, down with a terminal disease, yeah.. im exaggerating. i have been sneezing and sneezing... feeling super lethargic and feverish. i had a slight fever before i came to school. now i still have... my nose is all red, and my face is red. i look really tired and yes, i am exhausted. just ironed a whole pile of clothes and starting on my homework. the clothes came first because i didnt iron them last night because of the chinese ca. so i am also doing half my brother's chores. i scalded my right hand while ironing the clothes. it still hurts, im waiting for it to like not hurt anymore so that i can carry on doing my work really quickly. cant believe i was so careless to even scald my hand, quite retarded. i dont know if i can still go to school tomorrow... i cant sleep tonight. i have decided to sacrifice sleep and do my work, even if it takes the entire night...
love a dolphin bay is a great tawainese drama. its on channel u, at 7.30pm, from wednesday to friday. its really nice.. i like the story. even though its suppose to be really drama-mama, but then its still quite nice. im gonna buy the vcd. its $29.90, i'll buy it with my allowance next week. since i have the member priveledge, i'll only have to pay $28.40, hehe, not bad... its like after watching one episode, u're really eager to watch the next one. and slowly, u'll be addicted to the show. i cant watch it now, even if i bought the vcd, i have to study, mug my life away. so no "love at dolphin bay" for me. quite sad, but then after the exams, i have to concentrate on *****, since its right after the exams. so i'll watch it only during the holidays. this song is a chinese song, the show's ending theme.
Love at Dolphin Bay's Ending Theme - Angela Zhang
things have really been bad for me these few days. my brother thinks im always picking on him so he starts his vulgarity attack on me and then blah blah...
-----------------------------------
Intuitive Thinkers (aka peace-keepers, so very wrong...):
-believes that life and learning are personal experiences.
-tunes into feelings and attitudes around them
-learns from others in a friendly, cooperative way
-uses their imagination to make learning real
-responds easily to friendly people
-asks for personal opinions from others before deciding
-"reads into" what is said
-is unpredictable and spontaneous
-is ruled by emotions and feeling; wears heart on sleeve; volunteers feelings easily
-likes personal attention from a teacher
-can get easily discouraged by a teacher's criticism
-draws upon past feelings when deciding, and looks seriously at past consequences
-does well in tests where she has oppurtuinity to explain in her own words
-adjusts easily to changes in routines
-learns from others by watching and talking informally
-explains knowledge through stories, metaphors and personal experiences
-prefers reading interpretations of ideas rather than the ideas themselves
-can have may projects in the works at once; goes back and forth between projects
-is not affected by a messy work space
-may have difficulty with objective tests
-gets bored with details and "busy work"
-likes to learn about human nature; work with people
there are so many more characteristics but too many to list out... apparently, im an intuitive thinker. intuitive thinkers turn out to be really emotional people, and im one of the intuitive thinkers... some of the characteristics are true, some are not. the thing abt doing well in tests that has the oppurtuinity to explain in my own words, very wrong. likes personal attention from a teacher, very very wrong. easily discouraged by teachers' criticism, that, i dont know... but as far as i know... intuitive thinkers are the ones that cry a lot too. and cannot accept criticism, now that is mking us sound really petty... who says i cant? i can... right? haiyoh both mag n geraldine are a mix of literal thinkers, ituitive thinkers and theoretical thinkers. that is suppose to be very good, they're all-rounders.
-----------------------------------
haiyoh.. i relly dont know if its really my problem? whether it is my fault or whether the whole problem lies with me. why is it that no matter how hard i try, they will still think that way? am i not trying hard enough/ or am i trying too hard that they find me really annoying? if im really annoying, then please tell me, tell me im damn annoying and i need to get off your backs. thank you... because if yall are gonna go on about me being a real bug and im going too far, please tell me. because i really need to know. i really dont want to be irritating anyone. so please do me a favour and tell me. it applies to anyone... if you find me irritating, annoying you and u're sick of me, please tell me, thanks. because i might feel less hurt like this, thank you.
Journey - Angela Zhang (Love at Dolphin Bay)
It's a long long journey
Till I know where I'm supposed to be
It's a long long journey
And I don't know if I can believe
When shadows fall and block my eyes
I am lost and know that I must hide
It's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you
Many days I've spent
Drifting on through empty shores
Wondering what's my purpose
Wondering how to make me strong
I know I will falter I know I will cry
I know you'll be standing by my side
It's a long long journey
And I need to be close to you
Sometimes it feels no one understands
I don't even know why
I do the things I do
When pride builds me up till I can't see my soul
Will you break down these walls and pull me through?
Cause It's a long long journey
Till I feel that I am worth the price
You paid for me on calvary
Beneath those stormy skies
When Satan mocks and friends turn to foes
It feels like everything is out to make me lose control
Cause It's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you ... to you
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
[fear]
im really sorry if i was really screamy and scary today... its just that... i dont know how to tell yall... im really sorry...
i think i have just scared 2/3 out of their wits. yeah...
*** *** called today... she sounded really bad so i tried consoling her. well, i dont know whats her situation now, bt i d hope she's ok... after i was told sars abt what i told *** ***, she was like "wow, nana, im amazed" because i told *** *** something sars never thought i would say... and she said "nana, u've matured a lot" haha sars... im not mature since i only started philosophing to *** ***. the way you put it... its really amusing lar...
i was really fed up today after school. and when my 4 year old cousin came over in the affternoon, i was like all happy again, cause i havent seen her for quite a while and shes like a little sister to me... but then, i didnt really play with her, since i had to study for the chinese ca tomorrow. we were only told the ca is tomorrow, so the entire class is frantically trying to memorize everything. then we have to do our maths homework, english homework, art homework, preparations for lit class test and chinese ca tomorrow. it would be quite impossible to finish it... and if istay up really late, i dont know if im gonna oversleep... so i dont wanna be late for school either. the chinese ca is really sucking the life out of me now. im in a situation in which im stuck in between. val, i hope you understand why i couldnt go today... i'm really sorry, i know it is important, but then the ca is as important... i'm really sorry... i know you were very pissed off with geraldine n i today... but then i didnt want it to happen, until we only found out the ca is tomorrow. im really really sorry...
i know i was really worked up today, esp on the way home, with cherlynn. im sorry cherlynn, u had to tolerate my nonsense... im really sorry i have just let you down... just like what sars said, i can console others, but then i dont know how to console myself. how to encourage myself.
im feeling a little out of place now... after talking to *** ***, i had this urge to go and talk to (no name). because what i have heard from *** *** was a really very sad story. i just wished i could go there and box those people, for i find them really irritating and idiotic. i cant stand them, even though i dont know them, but i just cant stand their annoying attitude. geez... im starting to overreact again.
-----------------------------
my grandma fell again, in her room. i almost cried when i knew she fell again... cause i was really afraid something worse might happen. im not prepared for it... i really m not. i can oly worry abt one thing. that is not to let her fall again. now she has another bruise on the same cheek and its more swollen... im really very worried i can die on the spot now.
Holiday - Green Day
Hear the sound of the falling rain
Coming down like an Armageddon flame (Hey!)
The shame
The ones who died without a name
Hear the dogs howling out of key
To a hymn called "Faith and Misery" (Hey!)
And bleed, the company lost the war today
I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies
This is the dawning of the rest of our lives
On holiday
Hear the drum pounding out of time
Another protestor has crossed the line (Hey!)
To find, the money's on the other side
Can I get another Amen? (Amen!)
There's a flag wrapped around a score of men (Hey!)
A gag, A plastic bag on a monument
I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies
This is the dawning of the rest of our lives
On holiday
"The representative from California has the floor"
Zieg Heil to the president gasman
Bombs away is your punishment
Pulverize the Eiffel towers
Who criticize your government
Bang bang goes the broken glass and
Kill all the fags that don't agree
Trials by fire, setting fire
Is not a way that's meant for me
Just cause, just cause, because we're outlaws yeah!
I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies
This is the dawning of the rest of our lives
I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies
This is the dawning of the rest of our lives
This is our lives on holiday
---------------------------
i need a break too... thank you. -THE END-
im really sorry if i was really screamy and scary today... its just that... i dont know how to tell yall... im really sorry...
i think i have just scared 2/3 out of their wits. yeah...
*** *** called today... she sounded really bad so i tried consoling her. well, i dont know whats her situation now, bt i d hope she's ok... after i was told sars abt what i told *** ***, she was like "wow, nana, im amazed" because i told *** *** something sars never thought i would say... and she said "nana, u've matured a lot" haha sars... im not mature since i only started philosophing to *** ***. the way you put it... its really amusing lar...
i was really fed up today after school. and when my 4 year old cousin came over in the affternoon, i was like all happy again, cause i havent seen her for quite a while and shes like a little sister to me... but then, i didnt really play with her, since i had to study for the chinese ca tomorrow. we were only told the ca is tomorrow, so the entire class is frantically trying to memorize everything. then we have to do our maths homework, english homework, art homework, preparations for lit class test and chinese ca tomorrow. it would be quite impossible to finish it... and if istay up really late, i dont know if im gonna oversleep... so i dont wanna be late for school either. the chinese ca is really sucking the life out of me now. im in a situation in which im stuck in between. val, i hope you understand why i couldnt go today... i'm really sorry, i know it is important, but then the ca is as important... i'm really sorry... i know you were very pissed off with geraldine n i today... but then i didnt want it to happen, until we only found out the ca is tomorrow. im really really sorry...
i know i was really worked up today, esp on the way home, with cherlynn. im sorry cherlynn, u had to tolerate my nonsense... im really sorry i have just let you down... just like what sars said, i can console others, but then i dont know how to console myself. how to encourage myself.
im feeling a little out of place now... after talking to *** ***, i had this urge to go and talk to (no name). because what i have heard from *** *** was a really very sad story. i just wished i could go there and box those people, for i find them really irritating and idiotic. i cant stand them, even though i dont know them, but i just cant stand their annoying attitude. geez... im starting to overreact again.
-----------------------------
my grandma fell again, in her room. i almost cried when i knew she fell again... cause i was really afraid something worse might happen. im not prepared for it... i really m not. i can oly worry abt one thing. that is not to let her fall again. now she has another bruise on the same cheek and its more swollen... im really very worried i can die on the spot now.
Holiday - Green Day
Hear the sound of the falling rain
Coming down like an Armageddon flame (Hey!)
The shame
The ones who died without a name
Hear the dogs howling out of key
To a hymn called "Faith and Misery" (Hey!)
And bleed, the company lost the war today
I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies
This is the dawning of the rest of our lives
On holiday
Hear the drum pounding out of time
Another protestor has crossed the line (Hey!)
To find, the money's on the other side
Can I get another Amen? (Amen!)
There's a flag wrapped around a score of men (Hey!)
A gag, A plastic bag on a monument
I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies
This is the dawning of the rest of our lives
On holiday
"The representative from California has the floor"
Zieg Heil to the president gasman
Bombs away is your punishment
Pulverize the Eiffel towers
Who criticize your government
Bang bang goes the broken glass and
Kill all the fags that don't agree
Trials by fire, setting fire
Is not a way that's meant for me
Just cause, just cause, because we're outlaws yeah!
I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies
This is the dawning of the rest of our lives
I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies
This is the dawning of the rest of our lives
This is our lives on holiday
---------------------------
i need a break too... thank you. -THE END-
Monday, April 11, 2005
[you and i collide]
i was told of something really shocking today during english, when we were going thru the vocab worksheet, and one of them was an article about fiends on friendster. then danielle, and some people was starting to tell mrs stephen about what happened last week on friendster, something about someone announcing something horrible online, to everyone. then i decided what was up on friendster when i got home. i just didnt believe that a group of girls can hate someone so much they do such things on the net. its just really shocking. i think anyone who have read it will just stare right at the screen, like me.
i was at macs earlier, with debby. the i saw my brother, with a friend, he was really rude and irritating, as usual. but i cant do anything right? but anyway, that friend came up to my house as well. actually, i dont care much since he is beyond my control. im not a elder sister to him. to him, im just another bug and he can crush me whenever he wants.
today didnt really turn out to be a nightmare i think. all i can say is cheryl was kawaii on stage if you look at her right from the back. haha, what really tickled me was the fact that the front of the kimono was really colourful, but if you looked at the back, its really white... and plain. haha... we didnt win in the end, and someone is rather happy about it... hmmm... im okay. haha im really not gonna spill what i have heard here.
----------------------------
what's going on? things seem to be really blur to me... im serious... i never thought she would do that, or maybe i did, initially. sigh... i wished i could really do something to help, but then i dont know what i can exactly do to help... i think and think, spending the entire day, deep in thought and i will never find the answer to my question.
i want my own room, and i hope i get my own room soon... the living room is fine as long as im kept away from him! my mum just entered the room and my brother said "welcome to nicholas' and briana's room" then i said "i want my own room". my mum left the room and my brother said "welcome to micholas and his dog's room". well its pretty obvious im the DOG and im HIS DOG. that means he's calling me a female dog, aka, a b****. am i correct? you know what? i envy debby a lot, i really do...
my brother is scolding me vulgarities now, all the vulgarities he can think of... well, like i said, he can crush me anytime he wants. so im trying to distract myself by listening to really nice and vulgarity-free songs. but then i swear its not helping. i really feel like letting it all out now. silent tears.... i just hope less of these silent tears will ever exist in my pathetic life. just when i have picked up a little courage, i fall again, lost it. then finding it again will take me another eternity.
he's instigating a fight now, what am i doing? im silently crying on my own. i dont think i can really find that light, i feel it fading away, into the darkness. no matter how deep the darkness is, there will always be that light within it. i just missed that light. im falling far deeper into the darkness, deeper than that light, n i cant climb again.
help... i cant scream, i cant shout, i can only wimper. "help..." i really need it, i have really lost that courage. the courage to help myself up and to make the decision. each time i fall, i fall really deep, so deep no one can find me. i have insensitive people around me, and there is definitely one next to me now. cry, cry, cry. all i can do in sink into my sorrows. but then i definitely see someone enjoying the show featuring me, crying. i can see that someone laughing, smiling, joyfully. i just hope i can get over it and pick up that courage once again, ignoring my phobia of falling again. i fall, cut myself real deep, then die off... slowly... a slow and painful death.
Collide - Howie Day
The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you
Yeah
I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide
I'm quiet you know
You make a first impression
I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I collide
Don't stop here
I lost my place
I'm close behind
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to ryhme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide
i was told of something really shocking today during english, when we were going thru the vocab worksheet, and one of them was an article about fiends on friendster. then danielle, and some people was starting to tell mrs stephen about what happened last week on friendster, something about someone announcing something horrible online, to everyone. then i decided what was up on friendster when i got home. i just didnt believe that a group of girls can hate someone so much they do such things on the net. its just really shocking. i think anyone who have read it will just stare right at the screen, like me.
i was at macs earlier, with debby. the i saw my brother, with a friend, he was really rude and irritating, as usual. but i cant do anything right? but anyway, that friend came up to my house as well. actually, i dont care much since he is beyond my control. im not a elder sister to him. to him, im just another bug and he can crush me whenever he wants.
today didnt really turn out to be a nightmare i think. all i can say is cheryl was kawaii on stage if you look at her right from the back. haha, what really tickled me was the fact that the front of the kimono was really colourful, but if you looked at the back, its really white... and plain. haha... we didnt win in the end, and someone is rather happy about it... hmmm... im okay. haha im really not gonna spill what i have heard here.
----------------------------
what's going on? things seem to be really blur to me... im serious... i never thought she would do that, or maybe i did, initially. sigh... i wished i could really do something to help, but then i dont know what i can exactly do to help... i think and think, spending the entire day, deep in thought and i will never find the answer to my question.
i want my own room, and i hope i get my own room soon... the living room is fine as long as im kept away from him! my mum just entered the room and my brother said "welcome to nicholas' and briana's room" then i said "i want my own room". my mum left the room and my brother said "welcome to micholas and his dog's room". well its pretty obvious im the DOG and im HIS DOG. that means he's calling me a female dog, aka, a b****. am i correct? you know what? i envy debby a lot, i really do...
my brother is scolding me vulgarities now, all the vulgarities he can think of... well, like i said, he can crush me anytime he wants. so im trying to distract myself by listening to really nice and vulgarity-free songs. but then i swear its not helping. i really feel like letting it all out now. silent tears.... i just hope less of these silent tears will ever exist in my pathetic life. just when i have picked up a little courage, i fall again, lost it. then finding it again will take me another eternity.
he's instigating a fight now, what am i doing? im silently crying on my own. i dont think i can really find that light, i feel it fading away, into the darkness. no matter how deep the darkness is, there will always be that light within it. i just missed that light. im falling far deeper into the darkness, deeper than that light, n i cant climb again.
help... i cant scream, i cant shout, i can only wimper. "help..." i really need it, i have really lost that courage. the courage to help myself up and to make the decision. each time i fall, i fall really deep, so deep no one can find me. i have insensitive people around me, and there is definitely one next to me now. cry, cry, cry. all i can do in sink into my sorrows. but then i definitely see someone enjoying the show featuring me, crying. i can see that someone laughing, smiling, joyfully. i just hope i can get over it and pick up that courage once again, ignoring my phobia of falling again. i fall, cut myself real deep, then die off... slowly... a slow and painful death.
Collide - Howie Day
The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you
Yeah
I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide
I'm quiet you know
You make a first impression
I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I collide
Don't stop here
I lost my place
I'm close behind
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to ryhme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide
Sunday, April 10, 2005
i'm such a big fat loser... i feel really useless... besides being someone who is constantly losing brain cells, i cant even accomplish a simple task. maybe, im not even fit to be a leader after all...
i personally think that this is very screwed. i dont know if THEY will think the same way as well, but as far as i know, it might not work out at all. tomorrow, might just turn out to be a nightmare, in reality. i just hope its a nightmare, nightmare, and when i awake, it'll just be fine. i still dont know what im gonna do if the entire thing flops tomorrow... will they hate us? will they...?
she was right... very right, what she said yesterday, was right. i thought about it once, i knew it was right, but im quite shocked because it was she who said it.
if only turn back time, then maybe things wouldnt have to go this way. then again, its not up to me. now its whether THEY understand the situation.
im at loss... i keep thinking about what will happen in the future, forgetting the past, the present. im losing my sanity, and maybe when i've completely lost it, you may not even wanna acknowledge me, haha.
im really tired... very tired, i really have to start to learn, learn how to handle my problems, probably on my own, because i dont want to burden anyone, i will try to to solve my own problems.
today, i've learnt something from playing kingdom hearts, that is
no matter how deep the darkness is, there will always be that light within it
strong words, but then will that light be visible to me? what will happen if i cant find it? will i give up and sink into the darness, or will i fall into a deep sleep, a sleep that will last for a very long time...
she leaves with a heavy heart
everytime she turns and walk away...
Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own - U2
Tough, you think you've got the stuff
You're telling me and anyone
You're hard enough
You don't have to put up a fight
You don't have to always be right
Let me take some of the punches
For you tonight
Listen to me now
I need to let you know
You don't have to go it alone
And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you when I don't pick up the phone
Sometimes you can't make it on your own
We fight all the time
You and I...that's alright
We're the same soul
I don't need...I don't need to hear you say
That if we weren't so alike
You'd like me a whole lot more
Listen to me now
I need to let you know
You don't have to go it alone
And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you when I don't pick up the phone
Sometimes you can't make it on your own
I know that we don't talk
I'm sick of it all
Can - you - hear - me - when - I -
Sing, you're the reason I sing
You're the reason why the opera is in me...
Where are we now?
I've got to let you know
A house still doesn't make a home
Don't leave me here alone...
And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you that makes it hard to let go
Sometimes you can't make it on your own
Sometimes you can't make it
The best you can do is to fake it
Sometimes you can't make it on your own
i personally think that this is very screwed. i dont know if THEY will think the same way as well, but as far as i know, it might not work out at all. tomorrow, might just turn out to be a nightmare, in reality. i just hope its a nightmare, nightmare, and when i awake, it'll just be fine. i still dont know what im gonna do if the entire thing flops tomorrow... will they hate us? will they...?
she was right... very right, what she said yesterday, was right. i thought about it once, i knew it was right, but im quite shocked because it was she who said it.
if only turn back time, then maybe things wouldnt have to go this way. then again, its not up to me. now its whether THEY understand the situation.
im at loss... i keep thinking about what will happen in the future, forgetting the past, the present. im losing my sanity, and maybe when i've completely lost it, you may not even wanna acknowledge me, haha.
im really tired... very tired, i really have to start to learn, learn how to handle my problems, probably on my own, because i dont want to burden anyone, i will try to to solve my own problems.
today, i've learnt something from playing kingdom hearts, that is
no matter how deep the darkness is, there will always be that light within it
strong words, but then will that light be visible to me? what will happen if i cant find it? will i give up and sink into the darness, or will i fall into a deep sleep, a sleep that will last for a very long time...
she leaves with a heavy heart
everytime she turns and walk away...
Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own - U2
Tough, you think you've got the stuff
You're telling me and anyone
You're hard enough
You don't have to put up a fight
You don't have to always be right
Let me take some of the punches
For you tonight
Listen to me now
I need to let you know
You don't have to go it alone
And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you when I don't pick up the phone
Sometimes you can't make it on your own
We fight all the time
You and I...that's alright
We're the same soul
I don't need...I don't need to hear you say
That if we weren't so alike
You'd like me a whole lot more
Listen to me now
I need to let you know
You don't have to go it alone
And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you when I don't pick up the phone
Sometimes you can't make it on your own
I know that we don't talk
I'm sick of it all
Can - you - hear - me - when - I -
Sing, you're the reason I sing
You're the reason why the opera is in me...
Where are we now?
I've got to let you know
A house still doesn't make a home
Don't leave me here alone...
And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you that makes it hard to let go
Sometimes you can't make it on your own
Sometimes you can't make it
The best you can do is to fake it
Sometimes you can't make it on your own
Friday, April 08, 2005
[collision]
the gathering was fun fun fun!!! not only did denise, val n i went around scaring people, we + carmen, played this 5 legged race... we had a lot of fun!!! and we ate a lot... and the drinks ran out before the food did. there was a huge tub of beehoon left, so we packed them in plastic bags and took some home. i brought two packets home. just ate one, shall eat the other one tomorrow... cleaning up was quite fun too! haha... diana n delle were soaking their hands in the ice water, haha then their hands were numb and cold after a while... well, that was too obvious right? geez.... anyway, i really enjoyed myself, a lot... haha... that sort of made me forget my troubles and be happy for that 2-3 hours.
---------------------------
i'll be going to lynette's house tomorrow, to make the kimono for international friendship day, on monday's assembly. frankly speaking... i dont know what im gonna do abt this now... im at a loss... lynette put michelle n i in charge. dont know if im gonna succeed into winning for the class... since lynette has the desire to win. so im working twice as hard to prioritise everything neatly. we had an easy country and it shouldnt be that difficult to make a kimono, but then because we are dragging, its just more difficult every minute. the message written on the class whiteboard... i just cant seem to forget those words. it sort of made me feel worse... the class hates me, hates the class comm... because of our defiance and irresponsibility. i need to fix this, really fix this. if the next contest, example, the recycling competition, is gonna be last minute work, i really dont know how things are gonna turn out... ok 2/3, lets start collecting cans and newspapers, lets do our best, even if we dont win, okay?
--------------------------
my grandma fell last night, and she woke my mum at 4am to clean up the blood. i need the courage, the strength to face anything if what i think will happen happens. i need to stand up on my own two feet and help the peopel around me, because i know what will happen. the courage to face my problems. to not cry and weep. to face the problems bravely. i really need that courage now... please, grant my wish, thank you.
the courage to fix this mess
the courage to carry on
no matter the setbacks
the courage to face myself
to encourage myself
the courage to do things i never did
the courage to overcome my self-denial
all i can do...
is to only...
smile....
Because You Lived - Jesse McCartney
Staring out at the rain with a heavy heart
It's the end of the world in my mind
Then your voice pulls me back like a wake up call
I've been looking for the answer
Somewhere
I couldn't see that it was right there
But now I know what I didn't know
Because you live and breathe
Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help
Because you live, girl
My world has twice as many stars in the sky
It's alright, I survived, I'm alive again
Cuz of you, made it through every storm
What is life, what's the use if you're killing time
I'm so glad I found an angel
Someone
Who was there when all my hopes fell
I wanna fly, looking in your eyes
Because you live and breathe
Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help
Because you live, girl
My world has twice as many stars in the sky
Because you live, I live
Because you live there's a reason why
I carry on when I lose the fight
I want to give what you've given me always
Because you live and breathe
Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help
Because you live, girl
My world has twice as many stars in the sky
Because you live and breathe
Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help
Because you live, girl
My world has everything I need to survive
Because you live, I live, I live
the gathering was fun fun fun!!! not only did denise, val n i went around scaring people, we + carmen, played this 5 legged race... we had a lot of fun!!! and we ate a lot... and the drinks ran out before the food did. there was a huge tub of beehoon left, so we packed them in plastic bags and took some home. i brought two packets home. just ate one, shall eat the other one tomorrow... cleaning up was quite fun too! haha... diana n delle were soaking their hands in the ice water, haha then their hands were numb and cold after a while... well, that was too obvious right? geez.... anyway, i really enjoyed myself, a lot... haha... that sort of made me forget my troubles and be happy for that 2-3 hours.
---------------------------
i'll be going to lynette's house tomorrow, to make the kimono for international friendship day, on monday's assembly. frankly speaking... i dont know what im gonna do abt this now... im at a loss... lynette put michelle n i in charge. dont know if im gonna succeed into winning for the class... since lynette has the desire to win. so im working twice as hard to prioritise everything neatly. we had an easy country and it shouldnt be that difficult to make a kimono, but then because we are dragging, its just more difficult every minute. the message written on the class whiteboard... i just cant seem to forget those words. it sort of made me feel worse... the class hates me, hates the class comm... because of our defiance and irresponsibility. i need to fix this, really fix this. if the next contest, example, the recycling competition, is gonna be last minute work, i really dont know how things are gonna turn out... ok 2/3, lets start collecting cans and newspapers, lets do our best, even if we dont win, okay?
--------------------------
my grandma fell last night, and she woke my mum at 4am to clean up the blood. i need the courage, the strength to face anything if what i think will happen happens. i need to stand up on my own two feet and help the peopel around me, because i know what will happen. the courage to face my problems. to not cry and weep. to face the problems bravely. i really need that courage now... please, grant my wish, thank you.
the courage to fix this mess
the courage to carry on
no matter the setbacks
the courage to face myself
to encourage myself
the courage to do things i never did
the courage to overcome my self-denial
all i can do...
is to only...
smile....
Because You Lived - Jesse McCartney
Staring out at the rain with a heavy heart
It's the end of the world in my mind
Then your voice pulls me back like a wake up call
I've been looking for the answer
Somewhere
I couldn't see that it was right there
But now I know what I didn't know
Because you live and breathe
Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help
Because you live, girl
My world has twice as many stars in the sky
It's alright, I survived, I'm alive again
Cuz of you, made it through every storm
What is life, what's the use if you're killing time
I'm so glad I found an angel
Someone
Who was there when all my hopes fell
I wanna fly, looking in your eyes
Because you live and breathe
Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help
Because you live, girl
My world has twice as many stars in the sky
Because you live, I live
Because you live there's a reason why
I carry on when I lose the fight
I want to give what you've given me always
Because you live and breathe
Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help
Because you live, girl
My world has twice as many stars in the sky
Because you live and breathe
Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help
Because you live, girl
My world has everything I need to survive
Because you live, I live, I live
Thursday, April 07, 2005
[delusive]
i hvnt started on my hw, yeah...... cause i have spent my entire time since i came home, making phone calls.... and trying to keep myself from worrying...
its next monday, everyone will hate me tomorrow.
im really tired, too tired...
the tension and the anxiety is wearing me out... i hvnt ironed my clothes, and i dont really have enough energy to iron the clothes, esp my pinafore. i might just..... my hand... yeah... i'll probably wear a short pinafore tomorrow.
want to blog, but dont want to write certain stuff... is probably my fear thats haunting me... well not probably, it clearly is...
every part of my body hurts, my arms, legs, back, etc. each time i move, it just hurts...
I'm With You - Avril Lavigne
I'm Standing on a bridge
I'm waitin in the dark
I thought that you'd be here by now
Theres nothing but the rain
No footsteps on the ground
I'm listening but theres no sound
Isn't anyone tryin to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Wont you take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I dont know who you are
but I... I'm with you
im looking for a place
searching for a face
is anybody here i know
cause nothings going right
and everythigns a mess
and no one likes to be alone
Isn't anyone tryin to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Wont you take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I dont know who you are
but I... I'm with you
oh why is everything so confusing
maybe I'm just out of my mind
yea yea yea
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Wont you take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I dont know who you are
but I... I'm with you
Take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I dont know who you are
but I... I'm with you
I'm with you
Take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I dont know who you are
but I... I'm with you
I'm with you
I'm with you...
i hvnt started on my hw, yeah...... cause i have spent my entire time since i came home, making phone calls.... and trying to keep myself from worrying...
its next monday, everyone will hate me tomorrow.
im really tired, too tired...
the tension and the anxiety is wearing me out... i hvnt ironed my clothes, and i dont really have enough energy to iron the clothes, esp my pinafore. i might just..... my hand... yeah... i'll probably wear a short pinafore tomorrow.
want to blog, but dont want to write certain stuff... is probably my fear thats haunting me... well not probably, it clearly is...
every part of my body hurts, my arms, legs, back, etc. each time i move, it just hurts...
I'm With You - Avril Lavigne
I'm Standing on a bridge
I'm waitin in the dark
I thought that you'd be here by now
Theres nothing but the rain
No footsteps on the ground
I'm listening but theres no sound
Isn't anyone tryin to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Wont you take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I dont know who you are
but I... I'm with you
im looking for a place
searching for a face
is anybody here i know
cause nothings going right
and everythigns a mess
and no one likes to be alone
Isn't anyone tryin to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Wont you take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I dont know who you are
but I... I'm with you
oh why is everything so confusing
maybe I'm just out of my mind
yea yea yea
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Wont you take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I dont know who you are
but I... I'm with you
Take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I dont know who you are
but I... I'm with you
I'm with you
Take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I dont know who you are
but I... I'm with you
I'm with you
I'm with you...
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
[when will my reflection show who I am inside?]
had pft today. only needed one more pull up to make it to A. and my shuttle run made me strain my muscle, and im lamer than gloria, according to gloria. my sit ups were okay... kept an A. standing broad jump was an A as well. sit n reach was disastrous. im inflexible now... geez... i have a B for shuttle run because of a mere 0.28 seconds. wasted! then i had to like walk really slowly and limp. i had to hop over bags in the arc rm... now thats weird... well at least to me. so i've got a gold so far.. i better not get a D for 2.4 or i'll drop dead on the spot. now my leg is like gretchen's butt, she sprained her butt muscle while doing splits. i strained my right thigh muscle, wonder if it'll be okay tomorrow, i can walk a little faster now. if its not ok tomorrow, i wonder what mrs nicholas will say.. she'll probably say "another accident-prone, like gretchen" well that day, i was running for pe, and i almost fainted because i had a terrible headache, struggling of course.. but didnt finish 15 rounds in the end.
so i didnt really have a great day... fell asleep during ep, celine jiang tried waking me up by nudging me, but then it didnt work. clare tried that really disgusting thing elizabeth hates when eunice does it but again, it didnt work. so geraldine hit me on the head, n it worked... haha... i was realy tired, for i do not know why either... sometimes i worry until i fall asleep, unintentionally. i just worry all day long... about this n that, abt my problems and how im gonna solve them, i just kee staring into space like that, n i will just drop on the table, just like that.
that geraldine arh.... never pay for the notebook and went to watch a movie with lynette n co. after pft, there was cca for goodness sake... dont do that again. oops i left the notebooks in school, im gonna die when everyone asked me why i dont have it yet... die die die.........
my brother is accusing me of taking his candy, why would i want to take his candy? he said "see, why is it wide open?" then i said "how m i suppose to know? maybe that boyfriend of yours who was here earlier decided to take a peek inside n at the same time, snuck some" but he still insisted i took it... he thiniks im that childish to take candy. CANDY leh!!! its only sweet stuff with sugar n glucose inside... not as if i cant buy my own right? geez... he wil always think i will steal his stuff... why would i anyway? will it do me any good? sheesh...
i still have to iron all the clothes later with my injured leg... since i dont have any other size 41 pinafore available... i only have two. dont bother asking me to buy another one, i dun have the time to do that... well, actually i do, but then im too lazy to buy it at the moment... i'll probably buy it SOON....soon... so im not suppose to iron the clothes since its suppose to be my brother's job, btu im doing it for the sake of my pinafore, i dont want to go to school with a really short pinafore, i'll look.......... funny.... i might as well iron all the clothes instead of just my pinafore because my brother might start saying im so selfish or whatsoever. he likes to set me up, well which brother doesnt want to set his own sister up right? haiyoh, i just realised there are a lot of clothes... i might spent the entire week except thursday ironing clothes... well, not really a problem to me, i dont ttrust my brother to iron my uniform, they will turn out disgusting... cause its not even neat. so if you see my pinafore untidy, u should know who ironed it yeah?
i dont know why my brother looks so idle all the time, because when he gets home, he's either in front of the tv, in front of the computer, playing gunbound, or playing the ps2. he doesnt seem to have any work to do... at all... even tuition homework. when i was sec 1, i was busy with only homework, dont even have the time to watch tv. but now he's slacking and i dont see him doing any work at all... and anyway... he's now the last one to get home. i used to be the las to get home. probably because i dont hang around in school anymore... n i was adviced not to anyway, ah wells.. so i dont know what he's doing... he seems so free, always playing...
im really tired.... i have been trying to juggle schoolwork, **** ************, friends, housework and all... sigh....
Reflection - Christina Aguilera
Look at me
You may think you see
Who I really am
But you'll never know me
Every day
It's as if I play a part
Now I see
If I wear a mask
I can fool the world
But I cannot fool my heart
Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
I am now
In a world where I
Have to hide my heart
And what I believe in
But somehow
I will show the world
What's inside my heart
And be loved for who I am
Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
Why is my reflection
Someone I don't know?
Must I pretend that I'm
Someone else for all time?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
There's a heart that must be
Free to fly
That burns with a need to know
The reason why
Why must we all conceal
What we think, how we feel?
Must there be a secret me
I'm forced to hide?
I won't pretend that I'm
Someone else for all time
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
had pft today. only needed one more pull up to make it to A. and my shuttle run made me strain my muscle, and im lamer than gloria, according to gloria. my sit ups were okay... kept an A. standing broad jump was an A as well. sit n reach was disastrous. im inflexible now... geez... i have a B for shuttle run because of a mere 0.28 seconds. wasted! then i had to like walk really slowly and limp. i had to hop over bags in the arc rm... now thats weird... well at least to me. so i've got a gold so far.. i better not get a D for 2.4 or i'll drop dead on the spot. now my leg is like gretchen's butt, she sprained her butt muscle while doing splits. i strained my right thigh muscle, wonder if it'll be okay tomorrow, i can walk a little faster now. if its not ok tomorrow, i wonder what mrs nicholas will say.. she'll probably say "another accident-prone, like gretchen" well that day, i was running for pe, and i almost fainted because i had a terrible headache, struggling of course.. but didnt finish 15 rounds in the end.
so i didnt really have a great day... fell asleep during ep, celine jiang tried waking me up by nudging me, but then it didnt work. clare tried that really disgusting thing elizabeth hates when eunice does it but again, it didnt work. so geraldine hit me on the head, n it worked... haha... i was realy tired, for i do not know why either... sometimes i worry until i fall asleep, unintentionally. i just worry all day long... about this n that, abt my problems and how im gonna solve them, i just kee staring into space like that, n i will just drop on the table, just like that.
that geraldine arh.... never pay for the notebook and went to watch a movie with lynette n co. after pft, there was cca for goodness sake... dont do that again. oops i left the notebooks in school, im gonna die when everyone asked me why i dont have it yet... die die die.........
my brother is accusing me of taking his candy, why would i want to take his candy? he said "see, why is it wide open?" then i said "how m i suppose to know? maybe that boyfriend of yours who was here earlier decided to take a peek inside n at the same time, snuck some" but he still insisted i took it... he thiniks im that childish to take candy. CANDY leh!!! its only sweet stuff with sugar n glucose inside... not as if i cant buy my own right? geez... he wil always think i will steal his stuff... why would i anyway? will it do me any good? sheesh...
i still have to iron all the clothes later with my injured leg... since i dont have any other size 41 pinafore available... i only have two. dont bother asking me to buy another one, i dun have the time to do that... well, actually i do, but then im too lazy to buy it at the moment... i'll probably buy it SOON....soon... so im not suppose to iron the clothes since its suppose to be my brother's job, btu im doing it for the sake of my pinafore, i dont want to go to school with a really short pinafore, i'll look.......... funny.... i might as well iron all the clothes instead of just my pinafore because my brother might start saying im so selfish or whatsoever. he likes to set me up, well which brother doesnt want to set his own sister up right? haiyoh, i just realised there are a lot of clothes... i might spent the entire week except thursday ironing clothes... well, not really a problem to me, i dont ttrust my brother to iron my uniform, they will turn out disgusting... cause its not even neat. so if you see my pinafore untidy, u should know who ironed it yeah?
i dont know why my brother looks so idle all the time, because when he gets home, he's either in front of the tv, in front of the computer, playing gunbound, or playing the ps2. he doesnt seem to have any work to do... at all... even tuition homework. when i was sec 1, i was busy with only homework, dont even have the time to watch tv. but now he's slacking and i dont see him doing any work at all... and anyway... he's now the last one to get home. i used to be the las to get home. probably because i dont hang around in school anymore... n i was adviced not to anyway, ah wells.. so i dont know what he's doing... he seems so free, always playing...
im really tired.... i have been trying to juggle schoolwork, **** ************, friends, housework and all... sigh....
Reflection - Christina Aguilera
Look at me
You may think you see
Who I really am
But you'll never know me
Every day
It's as if I play a part
Now I see
If I wear a mask
I can fool the world
But I cannot fool my heart
Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
I am now
In a world where I
Have to hide my heart
And what I believe in
But somehow
I will show the world
What's inside my heart
And be loved for who I am
Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
Why is my reflection
Someone I don't know?
Must I pretend that I'm
Someone else for all time?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
There's a heart that must be
Free to fly
That burns with a need to know
The reason why
Why must we all conceal
What we think, how we feel?
Must there be a secret me
I'm forced to hide?
I won't pretend that I'm
Someone else for all time
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
Monday, April 04, 2005
[deprival + hopelessness]
im really thankful my computer is working now... but i havent checked my files, if they're still there, which i doubt so. my computer was attacked by viruses which is bad. that means my computer will have to be reformatted, therefore leaving my documents empty and my desktop like a blank space with a funny looking wallpaper. there goes all my photoshop brushes. i managed to rescue 10% of my files. the other 90% is gonna perish along with robolab, photoshop, sims, msn and global operations. geez... global operations is a really fun game. something like counterstrike but i still dun get why cs is THAT popular... half life is scary. fglobal operations is very fun. i just enjoy taking a m-16 and shooting pple. then using the first aid kit to heal myself. hehe... my computer is gonna be brainwashed and im still quite unhappy.... :(
thanks to julienne who has answered myprayers due to my deprival of music... not really lar... im crapping lar... but because she lent me that mcfly cd, im gonna burn it and i'll be happier... at least... haha it doesnt have mcfly's all about you, but with five colours in her hair, obviously, that girl and room on the third floor, it isnt that bad... and the other songs are really nice too... lydia asked me last year if she should buy the maroon 5 cd or the mcfly cd. i told her the maroon 5 cd, should have told her the mcfly. i dont know what she bought in the end...
the challenge announcement last week... lasted for only twenty minutes, and we waited for 2 hours...... maybe not 2 hours but 1 and a half. since they allowed us to enter at 3.30pm. and we had free admission in, so we were quite fascinated by the new exhibitions there too...
-----------------------
im doubting myself now. maybe the whole problem lies with my incapability. yeah i actually think it does. so im blaming no one but myself... geez... im acually smiling away, no matter how terrible i feel inside which kinda scares people away, esp debby i think... well yeah, its terrible inside, because i dont understand. they leave me so many clues and they expect me to find out. firstly, my stupidity can be one of the reasons why i havent figured it out, even until now. secondly, u people are leaving clues that are so vague, or maybe its cause im such an idiot and cant even tell if those clues were that obvious. if leaving me in suspense lke that, purposely dropping clues behind you for me to pick them up is really that fun, then i guess it isnt. im actually getting more puzzled, fed up and finally feeling worse.
it just changed so much. the difference between 2004 and 2005, even though its only april, i see a really big difference. a REALLY REALLY BIG DIFFERENCE. i dont know if its cause im such an annoying little rat, or is it because my profession now and in the future is pissing people off. then again, these words are probably coming out of me because of my anger and frustration inside. the memories are living in me. and the memories themselves, are living in me. i cant seem to forget eerything that happen, regardless of whether they're good or bad. now, i didnt say that out of pique. in fact im really sad to say that i repeat this to myself every single day. propably 10 000 times a day, thats not exaggerating. maybe a little but i just know its a lot. living in my own memories... at the same time, losing them as well. so that means that i have been trying to reclaim them but not very successful... geez... its getting to me, something i hated as much.... which of course isnt good...
just do me a favour? stop being such a big fat liar, thank you.
That Girl - Mcfly
Went out with the guys
And before my eyes
There was this girl and she looked
So fine
And she blew my mind
And I wish that she was mine
And I said hey wait up coz I'm off
To speak to her
And my friends said
You'll never get her (etc...)
But I didn't care
Coz I loved her long blond hair
And love was in the air
And she looked at me
And the rest was history
Dude you're being silly coz you're never
Gonna get that girl
And you're never gonna get that girl
We spoke for hours
Took off my trousers
Spent the day laughing in the sun
And we had fun
And my friends they all
Looked stunned
Dude she's amazing and I can't believe
You got that girl
And my friends said
She amazing (etc...)
It gave me more street cred
I dug the book she read
How can I forget
That she rocks my world
More than any other girl
Dude she's amazing and I can't believe
You got that girl
And I can't believe you got that girl
She looked incredible
Just turned 17
I guess my friends were right
She's outta my league
So what am I to do
She too good to be true
But three days later
Went round to see her
But she was with another guy
And I said fine
But I'll never ask her why
And since then loneliness has been
A friend of mine
And my friends say
Such a pity (etc...)
I let her slip away
They tell me everyday
That it will be OK
Coz she rocked my world
More that any other girl
Dude it's such a pity and I'm sorry that
You lost that girl
----------------------
hmmmmm it sounds weird... cause it was sort of recorded live
im really thankful my computer is working now... but i havent checked my files, if they're still there, which i doubt so. my computer was attacked by viruses which is bad. that means my computer will have to be reformatted, therefore leaving my documents empty and my desktop like a blank space with a funny looking wallpaper. there goes all my photoshop brushes. i managed to rescue 10% of my files. the other 90% is gonna perish along with robolab, photoshop, sims, msn and global operations. geez... global operations is a really fun game. something like counterstrike but i still dun get why cs is THAT popular... half life is scary. fglobal operations is very fun. i just enjoy taking a m-16 and shooting pple. then using the first aid kit to heal myself. hehe... my computer is gonna be brainwashed and im still quite unhappy.... :(
thanks to julienne who has answered myprayers due to my deprival of music... not really lar... im crapping lar... but because she lent me that mcfly cd, im gonna burn it and i'll be happier... at least... haha it doesnt have mcfly's all about you, but with five colours in her hair, obviously, that girl and room on the third floor, it isnt that bad... and the other songs are really nice too... lydia asked me last year if she should buy the maroon 5 cd or the mcfly cd. i told her the maroon 5 cd, should have told her the mcfly. i dont know what she bought in the end...
the challenge announcement last week... lasted for only twenty minutes, and we waited for 2 hours...... maybe not 2 hours but 1 and a half. since they allowed us to enter at 3.30pm. and we had free admission in, so we were quite fascinated by the new exhibitions there too...
-----------------------
im doubting myself now. maybe the whole problem lies with my incapability. yeah i actually think it does. so im blaming no one but myself... geez... im acually smiling away, no matter how terrible i feel inside which kinda scares people away, esp debby i think... well yeah, its terrible inside, because i dont understand. they leave me so many clues and they expect me to find out. firstly, my stupidity can be one of the reasons why i havent figured it out, even until now. secondly, u people are leaving clues that are so vague, or maybe its cause im such an idiot and cant even tell if those clues were that obvious. if leaving me in suspense lke that, purposely dropping clues behind you for me to pick them up is really that fun, then i guess it isnt. im actually getting more puzzled, fed up and finally feeling worse.
it just changed so much. the difference between 2004 and 2005, even though its only april, i see a really big difference. a REALLY REALLY BIG DIFFERENCE. i dont know if its cause im such an annoying little rat, or is it because my profession now and in the future is pissing people off. then again, these words are probably coming out of me because of my anger and frustration inside. the memories are living in me. and the memories themselves, are living in me. i cant seem to forget eerything that happen, regardless of whether they're good or bad. now, i didnt say that out of pique. in fact im really sad to say that i repeat this to myself every single day. propably 10 000 times a day, thats not exaggerating. maybe a little but i just know its a lot. living in my own memories... at the same time, losing them as well. so that means that i have been trying to reclaim them but not very successful... geez... its getting to me, something i hated as much.... which of course isnt good...
just do me a favour? stop being such a big fat liar, thank you.
That Girl - Mcfly
Went out with the guys
And before my eyes
There was this girl and she looked
So fine
And she blew my mind
And I wish that she was mine
And I said hey wait up coz I'm off
To speak to her
And my friends said
You'll never get her (etc...)
But I didn't care
Coz I loved her long blond hair
And love was in the air
And she looked at me
And the rest was history
Dude you're being silly coz you're never
Gonna get that girl
And you're never gonna get that girl
We spoke for hours
Took off my trousers
Spent the day laughing in the sun
And we had fun
And my friends they all
Looked stunned
Dude she's amazing and I can't believe
You got that girl
And my friends said
She amazing (etc...)
It gave me more street cred
I dug the book she read
How can I forget
That she rocks my world
More than any other girl
Dude she's amazing and I can't believe
You got that girl
And I can't believe you got that girl
She looked incredible
Just turned 17
I guess my friends were right
She's outta my league
So what am I to do
She too good to be true
But three days later
Went round to see her
But she was with another guy
And I said fine
But I'll never ask her why
And since then loneliness has been
A friend of mine
And my friends say
Such a pity (etc...)
I let her slip away
They tell me everyday
That it will be OK
Coz she rocked my world
More that any other girl
Dude it's such a pity and I'm sorry that
You lost that girl
----------------------
hmmmmm it sounds weird... cause it was sort of recorded live