[metamorphosis]

very very deprived of sleep. lasted three days with... 11 hours of sleep? sheesh, i need some sleep.

i think i sleepwalked today, which is kinda freaky. i fell asleep wihile doing my english homework on the computer, then i was on the chair, so fell asleep, flat on the table. then i slept for 3 hours or so. i didnt even know my bro came home. so when i awoke, i found myself on the sofa outside. so i asked my bro where i was when he came hom. he said the room. n i was walking out of the room, for some funny reason. he didnt care, of course. i dont have any memory of me walking out of the room. i guessed i wasted 3 hours sleeping like a log. im starting to have sleeping disorders, which is scary as well... actually i dont know if i have sleeping disorders, but it seems like so. just like what happened last night. i fell asleep on the table, in front of the computer at 2am, very sure i fell asleep on the table. but this morning, i was on my bed. its scary, very scary.

today, was a not-so-good day, maybe worse. beside the fact that i was struggling to keep awake during maths, coz mrs wong was teaching us something important, now i dont know how to do three freaking maths questions because of that. i figured she would catch me sleeping, coz i was like slapping myself sill, trying to keep awake. so she said "my dear briana, are you very tired?" n i was like "erm yeah..." then she said "dont stay up too late at night, sleep early". celine jiang, next to me was also dozing off, and i was trying to keep her awake, coz she was suppose to keep me awake. well, we struggled till the end of course...

after school, it was a rather hard time for me, since the three kept putting me in a spot, n i ended up stuck. yall want me to change back, but the thing is, your impression of the old me is cheerful, i dont know if u're really right abt that. because i need to change, but yall are urging me to change back... he only thing i know is, i'm different from what i was last year, things really changed for me. it was a great damage inflicted on me.

to the three/four/five: im sorry, really am. i dont know how to tell u guys.... coz its just difficult... i know my attitude these days was very bad, i am trying to find a way out. i want to tell yall, but i just cant... im terribly sorry...

my home's a mess, not literally. but i have more problems as the days pass... i hope i can handle them... n i can see that i cant... i just feel like screaming it out, crying it out, im just not worthy... im sorry everyone... just sorry...

scream my lungs out

my mum is sinking into depression... because of me... what am i gonna do?

i am having a very hard time looking for myself... its a mix of emotions.... anger, unhappiness, regret, guilt... im tired, really tired... i will be waiting for the day i can finally be free. a long sleep, lasting for eternity...

Breathe In - Lucie Silvas

I feel like I'm dragging you down a one way street
I don't know which ways up
All I ask of you is to stay on your feet
That should be enough
If we stand around it could pass us by
We could give up now, and never even try

[Chorus]
To breathe in life and breathe out
Like tomorrow is today
Breathe in life and breathe out
It's not so long to wait
Breathe in life and breathe out
Wipe the dust from your sweet smile
An breathe in life

I just want something real I can hold onto
I believe its near
Life's too short to know the truth
Maybe it's already hear
We could throw ourselves into the fire
We could give up now and never even try

[Chorus]
To breathe in life and breathe out
Like tommorrow is today
Breathe in life and breathe out
It's not so long to wait
Breathe in life and breathe out
Wipe the dust from your sweet smile
And breathe in life.

[Bridge]
We're chasing something we've dreamed of
(is not always out of reach)
It's never far away from us
('cause I believe that)

[Chorus]
To breathe in life and breathe out
Like tomorrow is today
Breathe in life and breathe out
It's not so long to wait
Breathe in life and breathe out
Wipe the dust from your sweet smile
An breathe in life
Breathe in life and breathe out
Ooh, ooh, no, yeah, yeah yeah
Breathe in life and breathe out
And it's not so long to wait
Breathe in life and breathe out
Wipe the dust from your sweet smile
An breathe in life
Ooh, ohh, no, oh, ooh ohh
And breathe in life
Ooh, oh
And breathe in life.

[deprived of sleep]

im very deprived of sleep now... two days with 6 hours of sleep. its 3.30am now, not intending to sleep, because who knows if i will oversleep or whatever, and so im gonna fight thru. i am gonna doze of soon, but im still trying to hold on... im damn sleepy now, very sure i'll fall asleep during the debate, or i'll just faint, haiyah, dont know and dont want to bother i guess... if mrs stephen didnt have to give so much homework, i think i might be sleeping soundly now. look at what else i've still gotta finish:

-1 critical analysis
-1 commentary
-1 text map

it may seem short, but its a lot of work, kay... i want to sleep... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[the end]

changed the ffx layout to this one because i was starting to dislike the ffx one. haha...

frs rocked. we won three awards, nice. we did well, everyone did! we did our very best, very proud of yall!

just how exactly am i gonna understand these people... really... for one moment they were friendly, the next moment they arent, or is it just me? i dont know if im just thinking too far or what. will they ever understand?

im trying my best to help, really am... whatever i do, is useless. i will keep trying to help them. i have words thrown at me, and im willing to take these words in, even though i knew it was gonna hurt me, really hurt me. i just wish that by doing so, i can finally help them in any way.

im like a useless piece of crap. im so darn useless i cant do anything right. i promised someone i have to be happier. i have to keep that promise, but with my current state of mind... argh, im really useless...

make me believe in myself when nobody else can help

will i be able to help myself stand up again? i can, but what is constraining me?

staring out with a heavy heart
remember the times i left with that same heavy heart.

if i have been rude these days, im sorry, i dont mean to hurt anyone. i really dont....

i dont mean it......

i want to help those around me whenever they needed help....

i have so much to say, but i just have this sense of insecurity and my refusal to pour everything out...

its here....


bought kingdom hearts. its fun but then its difficult, haha bought it coz debby described it as if it was really nice on her blog. so i did buy it in the end. its quite cool. with squaresoft and disney together. disney has all the disney characters of course, with the movies, alladin, sleeping beauty, beauty and the beast snow white and so on... then squaresoft included ff7, ff8 and ff10. it was really interesting to see all the young ff characters, like wakka, tidus, squall, selphie, yuffie and aeris. well they are the few i have seen so far. i know there is cloud of ff7 in the later part of the story... my bro is enjoying the game, to my surprise. i didnt think he would actually enjoy a game with disney characters in it. he's playing it now. goofy is a loser, haha, but then he's also funny because he's blur. kingdom hearts is fun sand a really nice game but it is difficult when tose huge monsters come out of nowhere.


i might be leaving ij, i dont want to of course. i hope i dont...



:(


Scar - Missy Higgins


He left a card, a bar of soap and a scrubbing brush next to a note
That said "use these down to your bones"
And before I knew I had shiny skin and it felt easy being clean like him
I thought "this one knows better than I do"


A triangle trying to squeeze through a circle
He tried to cut me so I'd fit


And doesn't that sound familiar? Doesn't that hit too close to home?
Doesn't that make you shiver; the way things could've gone?
And doesn't it feel peculiar when everyone wants a little more?
And so that I do remember to never go that far,
Could you leave me with a scar?


So the next one came with a bag of treats, she smelled like sugar and
spoke like the sea
And she told me don't trust them, trust me
Then she pulled at my stitches one by one, looked at my insides clicking
her tongue and said
"This will all have to come undone"


A triangle trying to squeeze through a circle
She tried to blunt me so I'd fit


And doesn't that sound familiar? Doesn't that hit too close to home?
Doesn't that make you shiver; the way things could have gone?
And doesn't it feel peculiar when everyone wants a little more?
And so that I do remember to never go that far,
Could you leave me with a scar?


I think I realized just in time, although my old self was hard to find
You bathe me in your finest wine but I'll never give you mine
'Cos I'm a little bit tired of fearing that I'll be the bad fruit nobody buys
Tell me, did you think we'd all dream the same?


And doesn't that sound familiar? Doesn't that hit too close to home?
Doesn't that make you shiver; the way things could have gone?
And doesn't it feel peculiar when everyone wants a little more?
And so that I do remember to never go that far,
Could you leave me with a scar?
Could you leave me with a scar?

not in a very good mood today... just felt really useless. still thinking really hard about what she said. i m really stuck. i do not wish to drag anyone in anymore. i think its enough.

wrote chinese essay abt some happy thing. well, i wrote abt how music springs life n it brought me back to both good n bad memories. it really does, thats why music means a lot to me. i cant live without music. thats not really true. i just sort of recorded the song in my head, n all sorts of songs, both chinese n english, they just echo in my head, just like that. they're ususally the depressing n sad ones lar... haha, none of the happy n jumpy songs i know never come to me. not never, but rare, very very rare.

came back to an empty house, again... i think i got used to it...

i feel really constrained now... its like im running out of air n it feels like i cant breathe. this is bad. i start falling ill. n my appetite just gets worse day by day. i start to stare blankly into space more often. i mean i do that, but it has been more often fo some funny reason. i become more worried n exhausted. i need to get out, im trying hard to...

i feel like a total loser. yeah i really do. its just that whatever she said last night. it just wants to make me cry. n i've cried a few times this morning. it just shows how immature i can get.


i know yesterday's post got a little boring, i was intending to elaborate on what we actually did for cip, but then i suddenly didnt wanna do it. well, yesterday, we did the manna store. i was grouped with mag, liz n this other poly guy by the name of melvin, but we dont even talk to him, haha. so we went to the first block n after that, waited for more than 45 mins for the van to return. it was quite boring, so mag, liz n i were playing at the playground with a couple of kids. the younger, who is a girl, is sooo adorable, haha, liz was trying to get her attention of course. n she can actually swing just like that. like she'll hold on to it n swing. it was so cute n she actually hung on for quite long. then the other boy, was climbing up n down. they were really cute. then after they left. the three of us sat there for a while and went back to the void deck when the other two guys were chatting, and started our own conversation. and i had to speak in cantonese coz there was this elderly who only understood cantonese n liz n mag were like huh? n i was struggling with the language, haha, luckily that melvin guy came n he sort of cleared things up i guess, not really lar. when we got back at ymca, gloria, matilda, eunice n julienne were already there. geraldine left. so gloria was telling the three of us that there was this boy who hugged eunice frm the back, and eunice was getting worked up because gloria told us. so we all teased eunice n said she looked like a mother, haha. then we had a little debrief. they brought us to the toyu library i love the toys, they're quite cool. haha most were sewn by japanese n chinese housewives. those sewn by the japanese mothers were really nice. well, they are good at stuff like these after all. the japanese are like all rounders. my uncle, who is a japanese, can cook really well. he prepared all the food for the sashimi party two years back. n he made noodles n cooked them himself, it was really good. haha... so then we went back to tp n had lunch at kfc n bumped into the sec 3s there. they were really red n tired. then we walked back to the interchange n i went to the library frm there. after that, i went home.


mrs stephen called me today. it was rather scary, i think. i was doing my dnt homework n she suddenly called me to ask me to tell the entire class to bring newspaper 2mrw. i mean i would expect a teenager's voice, but instead i heard this really low voice n i sort of got a shock. haha, typical me...


went to visit my grandma today, she seemed rather happy to see me, n im happy to see her too! haha... then i spent more than half an hour sleeping there on the chair. i keep falling asleep there, maybe too exhausted. left at arnd 7.30pm to eat. ate jap food n bought jay chou cd, im quite slow. listening to it now. but after biuying a few stuff, went home.


i was totally tortured this morning. thanks to my mum who PURPOSELY kicked the drawer n i had to fix it... it wouldnt budge, fixed in the end. n i was about to losing my temper just trying to fix it. then she turned the house upside down n that was one of the reasons i cried a few times.


i was told to change my mindset... i agree i should. my home is like a prison cell. my life is controlled by my mum, n it isnt easy for me to get out. she does whatever she wants to me, n i cant get out. i cant i cant, i keep saying that. i agree im being a terrible person by saying that. she's right, but will i ever be able to actually do according towhat she says? will i actually finally become someone who is really laughing everyday? will i become someone with strong will? briana is suppose to mean someone with strong will. will i be someone who can stand out on my own, be the real me? will i ever be able to tell whats real to me? is it the carefree life i hoped to live or the pain i experienced for so long? so long i will actually start to get used to. i dont even know what the heck im doing. i have so many questions waiting for me to answer them myself. do i need time to think? do, but how long? a lifetime? tick tock tick tock, time is running out....

watched 5 hours of samurai x n im still craving for more. haha. n the drawings of kenshin debby did were damn nice... phweet! i think im almost near the end of the shimabara arc. just that kenshin is blind.... BLIND!!!! which is kinda sad. n then there was this girl, magdaria, who is shougu's(guy who blinded kenshin) sister. she has some disease, like her mother. haiyoh, i think the story sort of became a little boring after shishio died.


changed the song again. i need a new layout too. the new song is "its gonna rain". 4th ending theme of the rurouni kenshin series. haha.


delle really gave me a wake up call. i think shes damn right. but how am i suppose to overcome it. i keep telling myself i cant. i dont know how to describe it... no...


It's Gonna Rain - Samurai X 4th Ending Song


Ashidori mo karukushite chao chao
Torumono mo toriaezu chao chao
Raion ga unaru mitai no raimei ga
Taisan wo unagashite iru
Dou naru no?
Sou...mou sugu ame


Dai kirai ame nanka chao chao
Mou sukoshi itai noni
Kaikan ga kaisan ni kawaru shunkan wo
Raion ga isogaseta no wa
Meihaku No! Meiwaku
It's gonna rain!


Ame wa mou aribai wo kesu no?
Kare wa mou wasurete shimau no?
Futari wa mou korekiri ni naru no?
Subete wa ame no seitte koto ni shite okou


Kare kara no renraku wa Nothing Nothing
Ame ni yoru kyoukun mo Nothing Nothing
Kanjou mo igirisu no tenki mitai ni
Utsurigi dattara totemo
Raku nanoni...gyaku na no
It's gonna rain!


Ame ga netsu wo yomigaeraseta
Kare mo futo watashi wo omoidashita
Futari wa ima koko ni michibikareta
Subete wa ame no sei, uun, okage na no


Ame wa hito wo yondari keshitari
Dare yori mo tegowai majishan ne
Futari wa itsumo damasarete bakari
Subete wa ame de hajimarun deshou...


It's gonna rain!

everyday, coming home to an empty house. regardless of how late i go home, even when i reach home at 9.30pm, there wouldnt be anyone at home. it seems different. it was always my grandma at home, either taking a nap, reading the newspapers, or watching tv. but now its like a dark and empty house. i was always the last to get home, but now im the first. it just seems different... my grandma, she has lived with me my entire life. but its just that it seems pretty weird regardless how late i get home, im always the first home.


had steak today, for dinner, at home. my mum isnt gonna go to work 2mrw, but i dun really care either. then started on my homework. n my mum screamed at me, just for something which is not entirely my fault. ah well, i dun get her anyway. she vents her anger on me whenever she feels like too. so i have nth to say, considering the fact that when i was as young as 3, my filipino maid would hit me, on the back of my neck. but i dun think thats the reason why i have such a bad posture. i dun know either. i just know she would use those wire hanger, n hit me on the back of my neck of the back. well, she left 3 years later. she was a biased against me, for i do not know why either. she was just really nice to my brother, but i get the nasty side of her. ah well, it was a not-so-good childhood, but i cant do anything abt it anyway. i dun even know what i did to enable her to do that to me. or maybe she just doesnt like me, haha i dont know myself either...


when my mum told me to wash all the knives and all, coz she tght that i havent washed them properly, well i got really frustrated coz sh was screaming n screaming at me, ever since she got home. so then the knives i was supposed to wash were used for sutting steak, so i guess they were pretty sharp. i tght of just using one of the knives and slit my wrist or something. haha, i was only bearing that tght. but anyway, i didnt do so n im safe n sound. haha


i think im having some sort of short term memory loss. i left my emc with suhui today coz she needed to use it. but then when i left sch, i forgot to ask her for it. so then i called n called, trembling at the same time. when i didnt manage to get thru, i decided to go back to sch, but i could see them walking out of sch, so i waited outside sch, n went home frm there.


im having a mild headache now so i think i have to stop here. ok, good night n tata! =]


Absolutely (Story Of A Girl) - Nine Days


This is the story of a girl
Who cried a river and drowned the whole world
And while she looks so sad in photographs
I absolutely love her
When she SMILES


Now how many days in a year
She woke up with hope
But she only found tears
Now I can be so insincere
Makin her promises never for real
As long as she stands there waiting
Wearin the holes in the soles of her shoes
Now how many days disappear
When you look in the mirror
So how do you choose


Your clothes never wear as well the next day
And your hair never falls in quite the same way
But you never seem to run out of things to say


This is the story of a girl
Who cried a river and drowned the whole world
And while she looks so sad in photographs
I absolutely love her
When she SMILES


Now how many lovers would stay
Just to put up with this
Every day and all day
Now how did we wind up this way
Watchin our mouths for the words that we say
As long as we stand here waiting
Wearin the clothes or the soles that we choose
Now how do we get there today
When we're walkin too far for the price of our shoes


Your clothes never wear as well the next day
And your hair never falls in quite the same way
But you never seem to run out of things to say


This is the story of a girl
Who cried a river and drowned the whole world
And while she looks so sad and lonely there
I absolutely love her
When she SMILES


:guitar solo:


Well your clothes never wear as well the next day
And your hair never falls in quite the same way
You never seem to run out of things to say


This is the story of a girl
Who cried a river and drowned the whole world
And while she looks so sad in photographs
I absolutely love her


This is the story of a girl
Her pretty face she hid from the world
And while she looks so sad and lonely there
I absolutely love her


This is the story of a - girl
Who cried a river and drowned the whole world
And while she looks so sad in photographs
I absolutely love her
When she SMILES
Oh when she SMI-ILES!

im sick n tired. both mentally n physically. n vry worried. worried over a lot of stuff. i think im starting to feel a lot of pressure again...


the o level results were released today. many cried, many laughed. the atmosphere was full of emotions, when i saw those who were crying, i felt my eyes burning up, n tears started to well up in my eyes.


im a little discouraged after the release of the results. just think that i'll never b able to do that well. im super dumb n im in 2/3, im a disgrace to 2/3. i just lost the motivation, when im still pushing myself, all the way.


im still sick, maybe a common flu or a cold. cant stop sneezing, sniffing, coughing. also having headaches, gastric pains. im gonna die early... gah.... ah well


my post is in bits and pieces, heck...


i've been more anti-social than ever. this is bad. i know it is. mayb its goodbye...


Goodbye To You - Michelle Branch


Of all the things I've believed in
I just want to get it over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me by


I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
It feels like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend
And I said,


[Chorus:]
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything that I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to


I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems that I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light
But it's not right


[Chorus]


And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time
I want what's yours and I want what's mine
I want you
But I'm not giving in this time


[Chorus x2]


And when the stars fall
I will lie awake
You're my shooting star

finally found the mp3 file for jesse mccartney's best day of my life. after searching it for months, finally found it, thanks to someone who actually tagged my previous tag board n he/she found it. therefore i got the link. its a really nice song, as good as beautiful soul... haha i think all his songs are equally nice lar...


Jesse McCartney's Best Day of my Life


my grandma has been transferred to ang mo kio hospital, near nyp. haiyoh its like she has been bedridden for too long, she has difficulty walking :( n thats why she was sent to tan tock seng's rehab centre (ang mo kio hospital)


mrs stephen gave lots of homework. n i cant even finish it now... vocab test, confirm fail 2mrw. didnt even have the time to do my homework n buy the metal polish for 2/3, so sry 2/3. didnt manage to get it yesterday coz the moment i finished cip, it was 4pm n i had to rush to the hospital. then went home at like 6pm, by then the hardware shop would have closed. then i woke up at 1pm today, and i had to iron a a heap of clothes. started at 1.30pm n by 4pm, i havent even finished. then frm there, i had to go to the hospital. was there trying to concentrate doing my hw, but i just couldnt. then after that had to go out for dinner. i kept looking at my watch... had to wait forever to get a table, n forever for the food to arrive. then took forever to ate. i didnt have the appetite. n got home at 9pm. so again, didnt manage to get the metal polish, coz the shop closed. n i cant even do my hw, how m i even gonna explain to mrs stephen?? im just gonna die. so darn busy now...


Best Day Of My Life - Jesse McCartney


Woke up around a half past ten
Can’t believe that I’m late again
Put down about a quart of caffine
To start my pulse and then
I grabbed my jeans off the floor and I hit the door,
Just the same old same


It goes to show
You never know
When everything’s about to change


Just another day
Started out like any other
Just another girl who took my breath away
Then she turned around
She took me down
Just another day that I ....
Had the best day of my life


Can’t say exactly what it was
She’s not the usual type
She wore a cowboy hat
With her red Prada boots
And a Gwen Stefani smile
Then she pulled out a pen and surprised me when
She wrote her number on my hand
Then she was gone,
But from now on
I’m gonna be a different man


Just another day
Started out like any other
Just another girl who took my breath away
Then she turned around
She took me down
Just another day that I ...
Had the best day of my life


I guess it goes to show
You never really know
When everything’s about to change


Just another day
Started out like any other
Just another girl who took my breath away
Then she turned around
She took me down
Just another day that I ...
Had the best day of my life [x2]

it has been a week since my grandma was hospitalized. n now i have chores n homework. really need to finish it now, but i shall sit here and blog for 5 mins n im off.


the leadership programme today was FUN FUN FUN!!! i loved the hike, even though i fell once, coz i twisted my ankle n hua la! i fell lar, but lucky i didnt fall forward, i fell sideways, coz i would be tumbling downhill, n we were on bukit timah hill. so then i twisted back my ankle n continued walking, it still hurt but i guess it was ok after i started walking for a while. n monkeys were coming after us for our apples n bananas. n i had just finished eating one n there was this monkey moving towards me, i threw the apple at it n ran away. haha, then when it was going after jaime for hers, we all tried to chase it away. we did, then i was running over to the other side when the monkey came after me, i didnt know until sharlene told me, haha. then there were apples which became the monkeys' breakfast. haha. we walked 15km. mag was the leader, but it didnt seem like it, coz evryone was like a leader, evryone lead evryone, sounds weird, but yeah. the canopy walk was great. it was high, and scary. n the bridge was a little wobbly, it was abt dun know how high, higher than the treetops, thats all. i was freaking out, when i saw how high n scary it was, n i was already halfway thru, so no turning back. n it was rather narrow, only space for one. it was a really long one, n freaky. but after all that hard work, i actually enjoyed it. we were all like "ahhhh, dun shake!!! who's shaking the bridge?!?!?!" haha, really enjoyed the entire thing. n mrs wong was with us, her face was all red when we were on that uphill-downhill road, n there were vehicles, mostly lorries n trucks. there was a lorry, which had the lion dance troupe n they were making fun of us as they drove past us.


i really love my grp, no arguement, n we really did well. even though we didnt get there first n we were sort of made fun of for being 2nd last, we were still satisfied. we had a really nice lunch in the caropark, outside the visitor centre, where we stopped for a break last year, during the nyaa camp. we started gossiping abt some pple with mrs wong arnd, n she was trying to ignore what we were saying, haha. then my team yum-senged with mr wong n all. haha, n we played whacko. we had real fun. the other team, clre's team were getting all excited when they saw two monkeys mating on the tree above the teachers... ermmm, dun know whats so exciting abt two monkeys ahem ahem, but i walked away after only standing there for a minute. went to get ice cream with the team. we started playing this sick game in which u're suppose to create this really sick sentence. since i'm not corrupted as lyn n cheryl, i didnt play, except sat next to them n laughed. mag played too, but she used simple words, unlike cheryl who wanted to use sophisticated words. haha then when we went down, our entire class was already on the bus, n we rushed off. when i was enjoying the nice view from the window, i suddenly tght of my cooler. i left it behind, cherlynn too. well in the first place, i didnt even know where it was, i wasnt even holding on to it during the hike. so then the pple who were still there couldnt find it. n i tght it was ok lar, since its my fault for being so careless. n i enjoyed myself on the way back to sch by taking a short nap, haha. when we were back outside the dance studio, i was continuing my little nap. suddenly, cherlynn came running, screaming, "NANA, NANA, LOOK! OUR COOLERS!" so then i found out it was amanda de souza who found them, i thanked her and all...


after the GLP, went back to arc rm, but shocked to hear that the seniors didnt set up the stall today, so then i went to the red cross room, n found all the stuff there... savie said she told see kei, so i uess see kei forgot abt what savie told her n the stuff was lying there for more than 6 hours. then had meeting n all, n went to the hospital, all dirty. bleagh... wandered arnd the hospital coz my mum was not there n my grandma was asleep. my brother had an asthma attack n so my mum brought him to the walk-in clinic. he doesnt have asthma for years since he recovered from it when he was p2. then i sat there after my tour n started writing crap.


by the time i got home, it was like almost nine, cant possibly finish all my hw right? ah well, its past 5 mins... actually past 10 mins. oops shall stop here!


this song is nice...


Almost Here - Brian Mcfadden feat. Delta Goodrem


Did I hear you right
'Cause I thought you said
Let's think it over


You have been my life
And I never planned
Growing old without you


Shadows bleeding through the light
Where a love once shined so bright
Came without a reason


Don't let go on us tonight
Love's not always black and white
Haven't I always loved you?


But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's
Not enough
But when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
'Cause you're only almost here


I would change the world
If I had a chance
Oh won't you let me


Treat me like a child
Throw your arms around me
Please protect me


Bruised and battered by your words
Dazed and shattered how it hurts
Haven't I always loved you


But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's
Not enough
But when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
'Cause you're only almost here


Bruised and battered by your words
Dazed and shattered now it hurts
Haven't I always loved you


But when I need you, you're almost here
(Well I never knew how far behind I'd left you)
And when I hold you, you're almost here
(Well I'm sorry that I took our love for granted)
(Now I'm with you, I'm close to tears
'Cause I know I'm almost here)
Only almost here

just came back frm the hospital...


my grandma is admitted again. my mum said coz she had a blood clot in her head, n it is the beginning of stroke... sigh... :'( this is bad... i didnt manage to finish my homework... i really hope shes ok... n i do hope i can handle housework, homework n space robot... woah... i sure hope i can manage well


i do hope evrything's alright.... i only received the msg at like 4+ when i got home, n switched on my hp. my mum sent the msg at like 2+. if i switched on my hp like earlier.... then i will go home straight away. im such a blardy idiot. i hope someone came up with a cure for stroke...


bought the rurouni kenshin dvd on the way home. that sort of cheered me up a little.... ah well, im not really in the mood to blog, sry...

failed vocab test... n mrs stephen forgot abt the ang pao money i think but anyway, she only said she will take our belts n tie it round our neck. that didnt happen either. i must study well for the next vocab or i'll jump off the building on my own accord. d n t went well i guess. i don't really like mrs how... just don't like her, no particular. she tries to joke but fails to. n i guess shes a little boring... abt the problem situation n all, as u know, i had to even think of a problem situation which i took forever too, that clearly shows what an idiot i m. i will actually enjoy mrs seah's lesson than mrs how i guess.


had a splitting headsche during chinese. don't know why, but i think im starting to have the same problem as savie. erm........ whatever it is, it wud better stop coz i feel like i was gonna faint at that moment. right on the ground. n the thing is, im sitting all by myself at the back which isnt good i guess. im sittin alone in class, iin the science lab. in the corner. don't like the corner a lot. the table next to mine is like the 2/3 rubbish dump always find junk there. the cny deco lefft overs are there too. 2/3 pls get them off i tell u or else i'll start gg insane! n the last time SOME pple left stuff on the table next to mine n i had to clear them up. this time, i'll shall b NICE n clean it up but the next time theresgonna b junk thrown at the back of the classroom, im gonna start killing, haha. im serious man, my table isnt a place for u to dump stuff there, its still a part of the class room.


did productive stuff after sch. n i guess i gained a little more knowledge. missed samurai x AGAIN! i have to get the dvd, i must, n since ts (tp underpass) is selling the entire series at $90. i shall save up for it. n i do hope i can get it soon.


ca this thursday, geog n maths, n more next week, i really have to buck up. i told myself this year i was never gonna allsow wat happened last year to happen again this year, i do hope i can actually make it. i really don't want to do badly, but i keep.... n i dun seem to b putting in enough effort. if im gonna do badly for my exams this year, i will die a tragic death.


my dad called yesterday. abt how much of an idiot i was. well thanks for reminding me. i almost cried on the spot coz apparenly he doesnt know the true story n i don't intend to tell him either. n for goodness sake, not as if i don't have enough on my mind. my parents had to piss me off. if they want to b biase towards my brother, fine, like i hvnt gotten used to that? or mayb i hvnt...


A Thousand Miles - Vanessa Carlton


Making my way downtown
Walking fast
Faces pass
And I'm home bound


Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way
Making a way
Through the crowd


And I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder....


If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you
Tonight


It's always times like these
When I think of you
And I wonder
If you ever
Think of me


'Cause everything's so wrong
And I don't belong
Living in your
Precious memories


'Cause I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder....


If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you
Tonight


And I, I
Don't want to let you know
I, I
Drown in your memory
I, I
Don't want to let this go
I, I
Don't....


Making my way downtown
Walking fast
Faces pass
And I'm home bound


Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way
Making a way
Through the crowd


And I still need you
And I still miss you
And now I wonder....


If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass us by
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you...


If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you
If I could
Just hold you
Tonight

went to watch constantine with delle n denise yesterday. we had the front row seats n so the screen will seem big, n the images will too, be big. delle n i were hiding under jackets when the demons appear. i like the movie even though it was a little freaky n all. delle was elbowing denise n i during those frightening scenes n she was elbowing us at the same time. what if she sat next to a stranger, i dare not imagine wat will happen. n there were so many pple there. after the movie, denise cudnt find her phone coz she left it on the seat n we went back to retrieve it. went to plaza sing with denise to get something but it was sold out n i went to the library alone to get a few flash books. then i carried the books home like that, struggling.


watched lion king 3: hakuna matata last night n it was damn funny. timone's mum is so cute n chubby, haha. n all the stupid stuff timone did was just hilarious n i could die of laughter.


im so blardy bored now n i forgot what im suppose to do for dnt except sketches. n english! argh, vocab test. i hope mrs stephen isnt serious abt taking half our ang pao money if we fail the test or the $1 fine fo each mistake. i need the ang pao money to pay for the camera, since im gonna send it for servicing... n there is no way mrs stephen is gonna get close to my ang pao money.


things to do:


-vocab test [protect my ang pao money]
-dnt sketches [any other dnt hw?]
-maths worksheet
-revise chemical equations [or else mrs tay will come after my pathetic life]
-revise geog [i better study that rocks chapter or i'll just die]
-chinese ting xie [i don't want to fail again -_-''']
-history chapter 4,5,6 [better read again, or else mrs siow will really throw me out of the window]
-read flash books
-look for supporters for frs
-get a present for mag


i hope thats all... haiyoh i'll just die of exhaustion if i have more to do...


Heart of Sword - Samurai X 3rd Ending Song


Hitori de wa, tooi ashita wo
Yoake no mama de, koesou de


Butsukatteikya kokeru omoi yo
Konya mo mata, sure chigai


Sanzan sugite doryoku no ato mo
Naku naru kekka, only no tsuna watari


Yaru dake son suru yona, mainichi wa
Sha ni kamaeteta hou koso, raku ni naru


Atsukute, tsurai jibun wo kakushite, mijikai
toki wo ikiteru


Hitori de wa, tooi ashita wo
Yoake no mama de, koesou de


Hottokeba, hashiru omoi yo
Yume mo mata, sure chigai


Kanpeki to chau, jinsei no shuushi
Puramai zero da nanteba honto ka na?


Shinu made ni tsukaikiru, un no kazu
Semete, jibun de dashiire wo sasete


Wakacchainai, kimi nara dou ni demo, rikutsu
wo kaete ii noni


Nando kimi ni, ketsu mazuitemo
Modottekichau, aijou ni


Shinjikaneru, utaretsuyosa yo
Konya mo, soutou nemurenai


Nando nankai, kurikaeshitemo
Modottekichau, ai dakara


Butsukatteiku, kesunu omoi wo
Semeru hou ga, suji chigai


Hitori de wa, tooi ashita wo
Yoake no mama de koeteyuku


Aishou yori mo, fukai futari wa
Sure chigatte kamawanai

today was a vry bad day for me.


- i was abandoned in orchard, n someone like me, who doesnt have a sense of direction, took forever to find taka.
- the sales of vouchers in the morning was pretty bad
- no one came for the evening shift


great just great! this is not my worst day ever though... anyway. thanks to my DEAR FRIENDS who have clearly n totally forgotten abt me, i was stuck in orchard like a lost sheep. aparently pple, i dun go to orchard much n neither do i really enjoy gg there that much. i got to far east only for the sake of sunny bookshop n thats where it started. they left me behind. n when im done browsing the shop, they were at the mrt station...


to dear dan, lyn, mich n lynette:
my dear friends, thanks for leaving me behind and forgotten abt me. wahaha


so then i spent an hour in kino reading n spent 10 mins looking for the rurouni kenshin manga series. they only have volume 2, 3 n 5. its 15 bucks. i shall start having the habit of saving up. n in case my mum doesnt know, i dun spend money like i waste water. man, u juz dun know, so juz stop comparing me with mr businessman, coz i dun need that at all. anywa, as i was saying, i was forgotten by my dear friends and finally found my way to taka, then spent time in kino. then i went down to basement 2 n bought muah chee n ding ding candy. then walked around aimlessly until 4pm n took a bus back to novena for evening shift. reached at 4.25pm. prayed n waited.... waited... finally, mrs wong appears. n it was 4.55pm by then. so she actually tght the others have not cum coz its not 5pm yet. but in the end, no one came. n so i was the only ij girl in uniform walking arnd. mrs wong's daughter came along too. so the both of us sold the vouchers and we earned $160 frm there. mrs wong told me to go home coz celine (mrs wong's daughter)n i were the only ones selling n it was also difficult for us. so i did go home.


in the morning, we saw mrs eugenie tan, n she looked weird. she cut her hair n dyed it brown. she was wearing a green n white striped shirt, so i cudnt recognize her, even though she was standing right in front of me. marian fernandez, mel soh n mrs stephen was there too.


had reunion dinner after the evening shift n blah. not much, excet my bro had to fight with me over salmon. we didnt fight. but when im reaching out for that particular salmon piece, he will snatch it on purpose. my mum's bf thinks its funny. well, i dun think it is, coz it was pissing me off. then was pissed off for an entire evening thanks to him coz he had to come into the room to spite me. ok im really tired now coz of the amt of energy i have spent walking n talking, especially if u had to say the same things over n over again... ok, good night n bb! =]


When It Comes - Tyler Hilton


I study up my hollow
Piece of wood to follow
A day that doesn't come
To the lucky


And I realize there's tomorrow
But I would rather wallow
In the rain then moods that seem
So pot-lucky


Well I'm cruising El Paseo
In my off-white coup back '65
Or I'm cruisin down my own street
And my hooptie says to me
You better hang on to your bench seat
I'm gonna take you for a ride


And I'll let you know
When it comes, when it comes
I'll let you know


But don't stay up for me
Don't wait up for me
If I'm not home


So I wait for fate to find me
A ball of string unwind me
Uncomfortable as a centerfold


And I realize your behind me
To help and humankind me
To see my songs can be retold


Well I'll be gone tomorrow
Yes I'm on the road tomorrow
So next time that I see you in school
It won't be for too long


And I'll let you know
When it comes, when it comes
I'll let you know


But don't stay up for me
Don't wait up for me
If I'm not home


And I want a leather jacket
But only if I have the time
Well, I'll comb my hair like Elvis
And grab an old Gretch 59


And you'd hardly recognize me if you
Saw me from behind


And I'll let you know
When it comes, when it comes
I'll let you know


And I'll let you know
When it comes
Just when it comes
I'll let you know


But don't stay up for me
Don't wait up for me
If I'm not home


And I'll let you know
I'll let you know
Well I'll let you know

4th February 2005


im really happy bcoz i saw sumtin really appealing!!! hee hee, i shall announce. i saw the rurouni kenshin dvd!!! o man, i want it!!!! its at novena square, the vcd/dvd shop next to sembawang vcd/dvd shop. *hint hint* its $49.90. i must get it man!!!! n good news for debby, it has chinese AND english subtitles. woohoo!! but its still ex lar.... but yay, at least i found one in singapore.


went to paragon to redeem the chocomania tix for chocolates. $100 worth, so that we can like wrap them into hampers and sell them instead. i want to stay over at lynette's hse, so that i can also save on that sum of money spent on the fone for the meeting. bleagh.... mag, michy n yee hui are gg! gah.... i wonder how i can finish all that i need to do by 2dae.


went to novena after that. to b more specific, we were running there, with our sch bags and in our sch u. frm paragon, down to mrt station. its pretty far, but we still had no choice. i almost slipped n fell while running. finally we got to novena square, in time. we finally went to graffiti imprint to order the class tshirts. total cost: $440. lynette paid a deposit of $100. we spent like an hour there, getting the whole design perfectn taking a look at the other tshirts. by then it was like 5.10pm. i was of course starting to get anxious. coz i didnt really wanna miss samurai x. so then we still wasted time lar, browsing. n when i was like looking at the anime vcds n dvds, hoping to find samurai x lar. no samurai x. then suddenly i spotted it on the rack instead of the shelf. haha i started to get excited. then i turned over n was really happy, coz the subtitles are in english n chinese. yay! well, debby might want to get that, do u debby? haha, so then i was like excited and i started telling yeehui "ok yeehui, u must get that for me arh?" haha n she was like, "ok, we will share the cost" n i was happily thanking yeehui. its like $49.90 leh. haha thanx mushroom =]. haha i didnt mean wat i said today lar, just like bullying u haha, sry!


i finally made it home at pm sharp, when it was almost the opening song. but still, i made it. the two eps were really sad lar. i sort of felt like crying lar, but i didnt. kenshin left kaoru after thanking her n then he embraced her and all lar. off he goes to kill shishio! kaoru ends up in a daze for days and refuses to eat, only stays in bed all day. finally megumi wakes kaoru up by scolding her n kaoru finally decides to go to edo to look or kenshin. one thing i do not understand, is it kenshin or sanosuke megumi fond of? but anyway, the two eps were really sad lar. sanosuke was mad at kenshin for not saying goodbye to him. kenshin only said bye to kaoru when kaoru was waiting for kenshin at the pond(is it the pond?) at night, n fireflies were flying arnd. the forest was all dark n evrything was black, except the fireflies. ten kenshin's voice cums out of nowhere. of course kaoru cried in the end. it was pretty sad n i guess the subtitles for the pirate episode werent screwed after all, haha... ok now i get it.


when i was walking to paragon with lynette, mag, mich, mushroom n geraldine, we came across mediacorp lar. i guess u know wat i mean. the two students in the show, i assumed they were sort of "picked" up on the street (i know thats mean), and are paid for only that scene. wong li-lin was there. lynette refused to go ask for her autograph, so we just watched them for like 5 mins and left.


5th February 2005


chocomania went really well today. i cant believe im saying this, but i m. we actually did our best. for once. haha i never tght this wud actually happen. the entire class was actually striving. we sold more than $10 000 woth of vouchers. we have like 15 bklts left, n im sure we can finish it 2mrw. theres a service evry hour. like when a service starts at 7am, it ends at 7.30am and it starts again at 8am. so there were like 10 services n each service, there were abt a hundred pple. mayb it was really 2000 pple a service, i dun know. but still evryone did their vry best n i was really glad. there was the ch u artiste forgot what his name is. then rod monteiro. mag, lynette, mushroom, clare, michy, gretchen n i got his autograph n his son is so adorable. he was stepping on the plants n rod monteiro said he was a monster. then celine asked if he was quitting the morning express, n he said yeah coz he was sick of getting up early, so he's changing his shift to the afternoon one. blah, n he's blardy tall, mayb taller than met. :P n his son is just u to his dad's leg, n those clothes on him made him look really cute, haha.


was waiting for service to end when mrs stephen n his son shows up. her son was also small, n mrs stephen said she was looking for father as her son was ill. then she rushed off somewhere.


and erika neo frm 4/9 2004 was there today. liting spent a long time chatting with her i think. i think they were chatting but yeah, we saw her there. sec 3 joanne tan was there too, n many other seniors like constance neo and blah...


haha i did have fun today, n i think by 2mrw, i'll be charcoal. cherlynn had an embarrassing encounter in which i shall not announce or else she'll slaughter me. amanda played a joke on khym. calling her and posing as a guy to talk to khym. khym discovered her in the end. as for beatrice, she went off with some pple to meet her cousin n his friend coz her cousin was gonna introduce his friend to beatrice. beatrice started complaining that he was ugly n all. n pretended to cry. then coz her fone died, she used mine. n they hung onto it for an hour or so. i tght she was only using it to sms felicia o sumtin but i guess not. so then she smsed the person like i dun know how many times, n cherlynn, melissa, cheryl tan, etc. called him n started saying stuff like "u see? u made her cry. shes crying in the toilet again. sorry doesnt make up for everything" n all that, so soon after, the guy hung up. haha i finally had my fone back safe n sound. mayb not. i dropped my fone three times in a day. the first time i dropped it, by accident, the cover n the battery dropped out. then for the second time, nth happened. for the third time, the cover came out. n i guess my phone has had enough.


left the chuch at 7pm n went to taka with mag, lynette, mich, betina, pui foong n mushroom to have dinner at yoshinoya, i had a hard time looking for that place coz i was looking in the vcd shop n i was suppose to look for them in yoshinoya, but i didnt know the way so i wandered, hoping to find it. no i didnt, but i saw met. n sort of ran away. i think he saw me coz i was in my sch u. met was again wearing a red shirt, haha. i knew i was gonna see met sumwhere today. i guess my instincts are accurate of im just lucky, finally i found the place n ate wonderful beef n rice. it was arnd 8pm by then. went home n mag was all quiet coz she was so tired, not enuf sleep. cant blame her, she slept at 2am last night n woke up at 6+ in the morning, n she isnt used to doing that.


i hope we can finish selling all the vouchers by 2mrw. n mayb more donations... haha, ok i shall go sleep as i have to b at novena church by 7.30am n i think i better go there earlier... so anyway, good night!

i shall blog a little b4 i zzz, i m extremely tired... n i dun understand y. i wake up at 5.30am, n go to sleep at 11+ but i always did that, and i dun feel tired the next day. i guess im ageing rapidly, which doesnt sound too good right?


2 more days... only two more, n then we can finally finish up most of chocomania vouchers. that big sum of 20 000 is starting to frighten me. and we even considered bidding novena church for 45 000? n lyn suggested a "SMALL" amt of 70 000? im still worried abt the other 8000, wat if 20 000 isnt enuf? gah... i do hope evrythin goes well on sat. my mum wudnt allow me to stay over at lynette's on friday night, n now we have to have our class comm meeting on the phone. coz mag, mich n mush will b at lynette's hse. n im having it at home, over the fone. dun know abt smelly. i dun even know if i can get up that early in the morning after the night-meeting. i think its gonna last for like an hour or more. gg to graffiti imprint to print class tshirt 2mrw. lets just hope the really nice person geraldine was talking abt is there, so we don't have to pay that much n we can get it on monday, so we can all wear it on tuesday! haha, so cool. haha mayb not, but i still think its cool. finally having a class tshirt... worked on the 1/3 class shirt for so long last year, n then they didnt want it, so this year, we must have a class shirt. haha. i better shut up abt the class shirt, or else i'll go on n on till whoever is reading it will get a sore eye frm reading "class tshirt" over n over again.


its gonna be the CAs soon, vry soon, i just wished it wud slow down, coz its juz passing by really quickly, its oredi like the 4 week or so, and im still stuck in 2 jan? bleagh i need to catch up.


watched samurai x today, finally made it home early enuf... haha not early lar. but sort of lucky. coz the moment i got home, i switched on the tv n the opening song just started. the episodes were a little sad... but its like the best fight i've seen so far... n kenshin got stabbed :'( sad lar, stabbed by saitou. kenshin jumped into the air to avoid saitou, then saitou sort of expected that n when kenshin was landing, saitou's sword went thru him coz saitou's sword was facing the ceiling, then kenshin turned into battousai again, n it was pretty scary. aoru was crying away n blah. haiyoh whatever it was, it was pretty sad but then kenshin didnt really bother abt the wound after he turned into battousai, those yellow eyes are beyond scary. in the end, no one died, kenshin punched himself in the head to like shake off battousai but his head started bleeding, which was rather freaky too. but still no one died, thankfully. to be continued 2mrw, i think. now the so called head of the government just asked kenshin if he was willing to kill some evil samurai, who is as good as kenshin. some shishio guy. haiyoh, the episode today was a little frightening lar. haha. o, n i finally saw wat battousai looked like on tv instead of pictures on the net. not much diff except the ponytail n the expression on the face.


i shall go sleep now, so i can watch the frightening episode in the morning 2mrw. haha im lke dat lar. even though its like a little scary, but i still liked it so yeah. haha, good night n sayonara!


Caught Up - Usher


I'm the kind of brotha
Who been doin' it my way
Gettin' my way for years
In my career
And every lover
In and out my life
I've hit, love and left the tears
Without a care
Until I met this girl who turned the tables around
She caught me by surprise
I never thought I'd be the one breaking down
I cant figure it out why


I'm so
Caught up
Got me feelin' it
Caught up
I don't know what it is
But it seems she's got me twisted
I'm so
Caught up
Got me feelin' it
Caught up
I'm losin' control
This girl got a hold on me


Let me go baby
Now listen
My momma told me
Be careful who you do cuz karma comes back around
Same ol' song
But I was so sure
That it wouldnt happen to me
Cuz I know how to put it down
But I was so wrong
This girl was mean
She really turned me out
Her body was so tight
I'm lookin' for her in the daytime with a flashlight
My homies say this girl is crampin' my style
And I can't figure it out but


I'm so
Caught up
Got me feelin' it
Caught up
I don't know what it is
But it seems shes got me twisted
I'm so
Caught up
Got me feelin' it
Caught up
I'm losin' control
This girls got a hold
I'm so
Caught up
Really feelin' it
Caught up
I don't know what it is
But it seems shes got me twisted
I'm so
Caught up
Really feelin' it
Caught up
I'm losin' control
This girls got a hold on me


And I think I like it baby
Oh nooo, oh no
Ooh, yeaah, oh my


This girl was mean
She really turned me out
Yeah, yeah, yeah, suga
My homies say this girl is crampin' my style
I'm so
Caught up
Caught up
Don't know what it is
But it seems shes got me twisted
I'm so
Caught up
Really feelin' it
Caught up
I'm losin' control
This girls got a hold
I'm so
Caught up
Im so
Caught up
I don't know what it is
But it seems shes got me twisted
I'm
Caught up
Really feelin' it
Caught up
I'm losin' control
This girls got a hold on me

back frm the band concert. it was great. i wore a.... skirt. and actually phoenix, carmen n mushroom said jeans were allowed, but then i cudnt find my jeans. n i had no choice but to wear a skirt. argh.... but i still had fun lar... n i only realized.... i've been to victoria concert hall b4. back in p4, when i was in choir... yeah, it was an excursion. so yeah, i was rather fascinated by all the instruments i guess. sars was at the concert too, coz cecilia was performing. went to newton circus to eat after the concert. went home at like 11.30pm? and the taxi driver asked me how to get to tp frm newton, like of course i dun know. so then i juz told him, go to braddell, n frm there to tp. so then when we were in braddell, i started telling him to go left n right n all that, n finally i got home. but i had this feeling we went a big round, coz i had to pay like $5.20? frm newton to tp... so yeah


my bro is using more vulgarities than liz, serious... he says the f word like evry 2 mins? n i have only been as far as wah lau. u can say hes far worse than liz yeah? n he uses the f word particularly on me, like wth is his freaking problem? n he starts calling me a jinx. i know i m, but need he make it so obvious. i feel like running frm home bcoz i cant stand it evryday being irritated n annoyed by him. irritated n annoyed are words not strong enuf to express it kays?


another flamer again.... like wat is wrong with these pple yeah? make it look as though its admiralty... but i dun know if it is lar...


to mr/ms flamer: i shall b polite n shoo u away... using other pple's names is so.... immature. even if its a prank or whatsoever... but yeah, i juz think that u're the one jealous n NOT US... i shall laugh at u for ur shameless acts... *muahahahaha* haha, so juz get off yeah. THANK YOU N GOOD BYE! FULL STOP.

i want a kimono *hint hint* haha, i always wanted it since young, coz i think they're really cute. haha, anyway, the cheapest of all the kimonos is $100+... n normal kimonos are like $400+ or $500+. expensive ones can cost like $10 000! they're just expensive..... TOO expensive. haiyoh i will only wish for it, since i cant buy it. and theres no way my mum wud wanna buy it for me. haha i shall add itto my WISHLIST coz im only wishing for it. haha...


band concert later. wearing a skirt... coz i dun know if jeans are allowed. im cross dressing again! i think skirts are disgusting.... n im still wearing them. crap! if its possible anyone is reading this b4 the concert n u know that non-skirts are allowed, call me now. gah........... shall not think or skirts or else i will kill myself for doing so


i shall watch precious tv n forget abt skirts for now.

i just came back frm sch... ok not just, coz the moment i got home, i immediately switched on the tv n watched samurai x. haha, i feel so shi bai. coz i missed like two n a half eps already... sad.... vry sad...


did a lot of stuff today. haha i know its like.... worthless and all, saying all that. but i didnt really do anything productive today... at leat i cant think of... o i remember! i watched samurai x this morning! haha i was suppose to wake up at 5.30am, but then i woke up at 5.40am instead. but anyway, it was so interesting. haha kenshin was trying to balance on the ball n all, n it was damn funny. and kaoru was doing a stunt n sanosuke was the guinea pig. the knives almost hit him lar... it sort of got stuck in his hair... haha, i was laughing my head off early in the morning, n i think samurai x brightens up my day.... haha, i'm gonna watch it evry morning! haha....

we pissed another teacher off today, unintentionally...


on monday, mrs wong n mrs how scolded us. yesterday, it was mrs tay. today its mrs tay again... i guess 2/3 will b known as the laziest class? haiyoh...


didnt do a lot of cny deco today. went to the arc rm, n helped with the banner. haha, we were tokin a little abt samurai x. n when su hui said she only knew kenshin, melissa was like, huh? hus kenshin, then she realized it was the samurai. she actually tght the kenshin's name was x. coz samurai x, so x. haha, it was damn funny, i laughed till i had a tummyache. haha, n when we were on the way home, there was this bug in suhui's water bottle. haha a shiny bug. debby n i were playing with it. she was woried the bug might get killed, so she shifted it to the grass... haha n she still worried abt the bug gettin killed when the grass was mowned. haha she didnt move it again. we went for sum tako at the interchange. on the way there, melissa was teaching us how to speak singlish. apple juice bcame "apple-ju" haha n we had to pronounce ju properly. we saw this dog n melissa was barking, the owner had this confused look on his face. haha we had tako then we came home...


the good news is less hw. only art n history. i actually tght there was no hw, but then mag said so, yeah....


i hope we dun do the wrong stuff 2mrw n not get scolded 2mrw... haiyoh...


i'm now updating sars abt wats gg on in ij.... not really updating but im telling her abt sumtin which i have hidden frm her for vry long... coz i didnt dare tell her. i'm making a confession now so yeah.... i think she ought to know. n i guess if i dun tell her, no one will ever will. haha, its all in bits n pieces now, im trying to piece them together. not vry successful but still trying. i wonder if anything will change after telling her... mayb it wud since she now knows abt it, but i guess that really cant change anything coz shes in nanyang now, n its difficult. mayb she'll call @#$% to check out wats gg on n all. then she might call !@#$%^& to talk to her abt it. i shall not reveal names, coz i dun want SOME people to jump to ridiculous conclusions n trouble will brew.

yay... i changed the song on my blog, to sobakasu... frm samurai x!!! haha, juz like ffx... i guess u can guess wat happens next? haha... but the song's so cheerful yeah? n nice! haha... i downloaded ths video frm the samurai house website.. haha i was laughing my head off... not loud coz it was a silent one, but it was really really funny... so funny i did a silent laugh. it was a video of kenshin saying oro... haha so cute!!! debby says its sumtin he says all the time... but "oro" is damn cute. now i know why debby mentioned abt gg mad when kenshin says oro... coz its so funny!!! haha i m enjoying myself watching samurai x... even though i just woke up this morning n switched on the tv... haha i enjoyed watching it man.. haha, its so darn cool when kenshin starts drwing his sword out and all... anyway... in another 22 mins... i'll b heading out to go watch samurai x... wah, so exciting... HAHA


mrs tay changed my seat in the science lab... now i have no lab partner. coz there were 5 pple sitting in the front n she said it was too squeezy... so then there were no one bhind cheryl n i, so then she made me move to the back... n since my class has 39 pple, i have no lab partner. :( n today we had to taste acids n all.. i didnt like the taste n it was definitely not that easy. i had a hard time juz trying to figure out the taste, coz when i tasted once, it had no taste, then when i tried again, it was sour... haiyoh, n since we were so disorganized, which made mrs tay so mad, she said to redo the exeriment on the next lesson... so much to do... in ten minutes? not enough, not enough. haiyoh, n she said i had to do the experiment myself... argh... but with gretchen n jessica's help, i pulled through. except we hvnt completed the tasting one. completed only the litmus paper one n blah blah.


i hope my class will win the inter class cny deco competition... last week, i stayed back to do the notice board n decorations with mag, lynette, khym, jaime n lyn. ofelia helped too... coz sum of the notice boad pple didnt stay back n all, so we sort of made them stay today... well, all of them did. but apparently, 3 out of 5 were doing their job. as for the other 2, they were slacking arnd, cit chatting with lyn n the rest. haiyoh at least we finished covering those ugly holes in the board. n pasted fishes... cherlynn, melissa, khym, mag, michelle, ofelia n clare, were the considerate pple, who stayed back to help... well, thats nice. but i guess the rest of the class cant b bothered... ike chocomania. i shouted like once just to get their attention. well it succeeded, but after abt 5 seconds, the noise started again. mag was also screaming here n there, whatever it was, the class comm was trying to get their attention. they want to win, but they cant b bothered. n if we, the class comm make the decision, the class will b unhappy. if we let them make the decision, they'll shut up, or simply ignore us... if we have the class discussion, it wont work either. haiyoh... wat m i talking abt? it happened for an entire year... LAST YEAR! great... i actually hoped for a better year this year, but i guess not...


i've been hearing stuff abt wat happened at the class comm election, it sort of amuses me, n on the other hand, i cant believe what some pple said. i was so shocked to hear what they said. well, i guess u can say i was not all shocked, but it seemed like i expected that. well, they shudnt say it, especially wat CERTAIN pple said, which just tells me shes so irritating, annoying, n an evil person. well, i wasnt all shocked but shocked when i heard abt it last year. haha, LIFE IS INDEED UNPREDICTABLE... well, but its so obvious dun u think? i think it is... n i guess sooner or later, i wun hear vry good news. n i guess i will not think any further, coz it might juz make me even more worried and all. the entire thing is an irony.


anyway, i gtg now. samurai x!!!! yay... haha


Sobakasu - Samurai X Opening Song


Daikirai datta sobakasu wo chotto
Hitonadeshite tame iki wo hitotsu
Hebi ikkyuu no koi wa migoto ni
Kakuzatou to isshoni toketa
Mae yori mo motto yaseta mune ni chotto
"Chiku" tto sasaru toge ga itai
Hoshiuranai mo ate ni naranai wa


Motto touku made isshoni yuketara nee
Ureshikute sore dakede


Omoi de wa itsumo kirei dakedo
Sore dake ja onaka ga suku wa
Honto wa setsunai yoru nanoni
Doushite kashira? Ano hito no egao mo omoi dasenai no


Kowashite naoshite wakatteru noni
Sore ga atashi no seikaku dakara
Modokashii kimochi de ayafuya no mama de
Soredemo ii koi wo shitekita


Omoikiri aketa hidari mimi no piasu ni wa nee
Waraenai episoudo


Sobakasu no kazu wo kazoetemiru
Yogoretanui gurumi daite
Mune wo sasu toge wa kienai kedo
Kaeru-chan mo usagi-chan mo
Waratte kureru no


Omoi de wa itsumo kirei dakedo
Sore dake ja onaka ga suku no
Honto wa setsunai yoru nanoni
Doushite kashira? Ano hito no namida mo omoi dasenai no?
Omoidasenai no
Doushitenano?

i realized i have been updated evry two days... haha


i realized sumting really funny... but i guess its good news? anyway, im just glad 2/3 has a much better class chairperson this year, sry if i have offended anyone in anyway. but yeah, lynette n mag are actually a pretty good job. n i almost bcame class chair? haha, glad im not... coz i think by then, i wud have died. anyway... i hope 2/3 will win the cny decoration competition this year. but then again, mayb not. i dun know, lynette said we have to win this year. lyn, jaime n khym helped out on thursday, which was already sumting that was vry nice. even though they didnt do much, but at least they bothered to help... n im glad. lynette sort of skipped the first 1 hr n 15 mins of her cca to cum do the board... thats nice too. then i was doing stuff alone until ofelia came to help. she said a lot abt the class disliking her n i tried to help her lar. n then we did more decos n she went home. i cleaned up the place n went home too...


i can see that history is repeating itself. which doesnt sound good, right? well, to me it doesnt. n to those who think its good, then it means that u're heartless, sry... i dun think they're gonna b grateful for wat we all r doing. i know coz i just know...? mayb it is a good thing im not class chair. haha, well, coz i have bad tghts abt it... but anyway.... a leader serves his/her pple, not the pple serving the leader. yeah... thats all i have to say.


the amt of homework is increasing, rapidly. and the length of my hair too... yay! haha i can tell its gowing longer! but i wanna keep it short so when its longer then my previous haircut (the short, but not vry short), i'm gonna trim it, or sumtin. whatever it is, im just gonna keep it short. haha, i guess u all have seen my with long hair n have seen my hair shorter n shorter until cannot short liao. haha my sentence seems wrong but i dun care, pple dun cum here anyway. =]


Single - Natasha Bedngfield


Ah yeah that's right
All you single people out there
This is for you


I'm not waitin' around for a man to save me
(Cos I'm happy where I am)
Don't depend on a guy to validate me
(No no)
I don't need to be anyone's baby
(Is that so hard to understand?)
No I don't need another half to make me whole


Make your move if you want doesn't mean I will or won't
I'm free to make my mind up you either got it or you don't


[Chorus:]
This is my current single status
My declaration of independence
There's no way I'm tradin' places
Right now a star's in the ascendant


I'm single
(Right now)
That's how I wanna be
I'm single
(Right now)
That's how I wanna be


Ah yeah Uh Huh that's right


Don't need to be on somebody's arm to look good
(I like who I am)
I'm not saying I don't wanna fall in love 'cos I would
I'm not gonna get hooked up just 'cos you say I should
(Can't romance on demand)
I'm gonna wait so I'm sorry if you misunderstood


[Chorus]


Everything in it's right time everything in it's right place
I know I'll settle down one day
But 'til then I like it this way it's my way
Eh I like it this way


Make your move if you want doesn't mean I will or won't
I'm free to make my mind up you either got it or you don't
'Til then I'm single


This is my current single status
My declaration of independence
There's no way I'm tradin' places
Right now a star's in the ascendant

it was an interesting day yesterday.... ok... hmmm....


haha yesterday, i was walking home with mag, lyn n sharlene. we were gg to macs for lunch. so then we were walking n walking n we saw this old lady standing on the pavement, with a plastic bag on the floor... she seemed rather pitiful, n then she asked for help. so we did help her.. she needed to carry that bag of stuff to 150. and we helped her. mag had the worried look on face. lyn n sharlene were like "oh...." n was juz standing aside.... then we decided to help her. n she was telling us her leg hurts and all n she cant carry heavy stuff. so sharlene was carrying the stuff lar, she wanted to? n then we left the stuff at the coffeeshop n yeah... the old lady thanked us and all. she wanted to treat us to lunch bcoz we helped her and all, but it isnt necessary, so we left... n were quite satisfied i think... coz we helped sumone today? well, it was quite nice... doing a good deed.


it was the photoshoot and the health screening today. photoshoot was all the way at the shed? n mrs tay was actually giving us a quiz but then we had the fotoshoot and all so we didnt have the quiz. then the three prefects were so rushed coz they had to change and all. danielle had blisters on her feet and all, juz wearing that pair of shoes for a few minutes. yeah, n the health screening... we all tght we had to strip, but 2/1 said we didnt need to. and we didnt need to. n was playing with celine on the way back to class, which was quite childish.... haha actually i started it first lar... that shows how immature i m. i was stealing her belt and all. then she said she left her water bottle at st gabs, so i wanted to get there first n was starting to run. but she had to catch me by the belt. n when i tried to run again, she held on to my sleeve. i think one sleeve is longer than the other now... -_______________-


talking abt st gabs.... now we're moving back to st gabs at the end of february... we were suppose to move back at the end of january... great, just great.... one more mth...


i didnt play ffx, even though i said i wud that day... haha i didnt... even though i really wanna play it now!!! i muz finish that LARGE amt of homework. especially english... mrs stephen gives us loads of hw... n it turns out english is the subject with the most homework. haiyoh.... then i still have chinese... juz that five questions... maths, only four questions. n still hw... im still trying to finish them... which means i cant blog now coz i wanna clear that whole pile by 2night or 2mrw... bb n good night! =]


I Just Wanna Live - Good Charlotte


I need an alarm system in my house
So I know when people are
Creeping about
These people are
Freaking me out (these days)


It's getting hectic everywhere that I go
They won't leave me alone
There's things they all wanna know
I'm paranoid of all the people I meet
Why are they talking to me?
And why can't anyone see


I just wanna live
Don't really care about the things that they say
Don't really care about what happens to me
I just wanna live
Just wanna live [x6]


I rock a
Lawsuit when I'm going to court
A white suit when I'm gettin' divorced
A black suit at the funeral home
And my birthday suit when I'm home alone
Talkin' on the phone
Got an interview
With the rolling stone
Theyre saying
"Now you're rich and
Now you're famous
Fake ass girls all know your name and
Lifestyles of the rich and famous
Your first hit aren't you ashamed?"
Of the life [x2]
Of the life we're livin'


I just wanna live
Don't really care about the things that they say
Don't really care about what happens to me
I just wanna live


Stop your messin' around boy
Better think of your future
Better make some good plans boy
Said everyone of my teachers


Lookout
You better play it safe
You never know what hard times will come your way
We say
Where we're coming from
We've already seen
The worst that this life can bring


Now we expect it everywhere that we go
All the things that they say
Yeah we already know


I just wanna live
Don't really care about the things that they say
Don't really care about what happens to me
Just wanna live [x3]


I just wanna live
Just wanna live [x3]


I just wanna live
Just wanna live [x3]
Don't really care about the things that they say
Just wanna live [x3]
Don't really care about what happens to me


I just wanna live

weird things have been gg on... no.1 i was supposed to fail chinese ca1 and chinese compo. but then i had a 31/50 for ca1 n 32 for compo, which was sumtin really shocking... *blink blink* i tght i wud fail coz my compo really sucked a lot, and as for ca1... i tght i forgotten all the words and all... the diff btween clare's, jessica's n my score are juz one or two marks, which is also weird... except clare had full marks for ca1. coz i dun do better than them. they do better than me... haiz... wat is this world cuming to? evrything is juz weird...


mrs tay was teaching us formulae writing today. haha, like i said i needed sum time to absorb wat she says. she was telling us abt the brackets and all. n the whole class didnt get it... haha no surprise, she was making things confusing for us. n finally after a couple of minutes, we all understood her.


was really pissed last night. i was peacefully doing my homework with the computer n radio on, and my bro was trying to irritate me, he was playing i dream on his hp realy loud, coz his fone is a 6230, n it has a mp3 player.(now he wants a 6260, he has changed his fone twice in a period of 5 mths) so then he sent the music file frm the computer to his fone thru bluetooth. so then i said he was singing the song wrongly but then he said i was the one wrong. well, i didnt care. so then he wanted to challenge me, rap. i hate rap, a lot.... n techno... i hate it alot... coz he bought linkin park's collision course, he also sent the files to his fone. so then he was telling me rap is the best genre, lke i cared.... n then he kept babbling in my ear, while i was doing my homework... n it was already late. if i dun finish, i wun even get to sleep, n i will fall asleep the next morning, n i wun b able to learn, n like that, i might do badly, n bye bye to my cca! he doest seem to have any homework... he cums home late at night... later than i did last year. coz he said he had cca, which happens to b canoeing. well whatever it was, my mum didnt even scold him... n i decided to not care abt anything that goes on in the family. coz if i do, i get scolded n y even bother when i get scolded? so he was irritating me... n i really wanted to finish my homework, n go to sleep. but then he had to keep rambling, and so i almost broke down. i was trying to stop myself frm getting mad. even though i was already mad. but i juz kept quiet. like i'll scolded for juz screaming at him, so i decided to shut up, n hide my anger. n that is y i hate cuming home... this is the reason why. i dun have any peace in whatever i do. n thats y i stay in sch to do my work, n then wat i get scolded again... when i said my bro was bothering me and all, my mum didnt even care.... this is so sickening....

today is the sixteenth day of 2005, i can only say, things hasnt changed much. at least that was what i tght at first....


my social circle is becoming smaller and smaller, my friends, especially those whom ihave been with for years, they seem to b drifting away, further and further away. like i didnt really wanna bother so much abt it, but now, it seems to b worse and all. i try to talk to them like i did back then when we were like really good friends and all, but then im one step further away instead, which doesnt make any sense. i'm starting to morph into someone else. a new briana, n i wish to morph back. not evrything abt me has changed. i'm still the extra. but my personality has changed? good or bad? i dun know myself either. it happens all the time, and italways gets on my nerves. i try to get to know them better, but then, i'll get all scared and all, then i'm back to square one, typical me. destined to be a spare tyre? m i that?


my bro bought the taufik album yesterday, yeah, he kept playing i dream the entire afternoon, i kinda got sick of it...


the sec 1 orientation went well, i guess. they were rather fascinated by the soccer robot. and there were sum technical faults during the presentation. n i think i saw that girl whom liz n mat said had potential, but liz said it isnt her... the test-tubes were gone, real fast, the sec ones liked them. n one of them dropped it on the floor, and blah, yah, there was the wet spot there. after the entire thing, i was pretty beat. i was sleepy in the arc rm while unpacking the robots and trying to fix them. but then i put them back in the box after that. bleagh, wat was i doing man. and the sec ones came in took a look at the arc rm, and grace was telling them abt the ancilla. ok... and nat was here too!!! haha, it was great seeing her. left sch at 2pm. liz n mat hid su hui's n my shoes bhind the door and nder the shoe rack, coz we didnt put them on the shoe rack. well, that was NICE!! i guess u can sense the sarcasm? haha nvm. not to mention i was practically falling asleep while watching tv at night. i enjoyed lion king: simba's pride. haha im still a disney freak, no offence. juz liked wathching it since young. young kiara and kovu are so cute. cuddly lion cubs. the story was pretty much like romeo and juliet, but instead they didnt die in the end. yeah. it was abt two prides. kiara's pride was the good pride and kovu's pride was the bad one. but then kovu was good at heart lar, unlike his ancestor, scar. and kovu has a retarded bro man, an evil mother, forgot her name.


i hvnt played ffx for 16 days? which is an improvement... haha sry debby, i think im gonna play a little ffx later. but mayb not. if i dun manage to finish my hw, im not gonna play. so yeah. i still have to research on external casino operations, and the chinese thing. then i still have to print stuff for the class notice board, its gonna finish up my ink cartridge. maths isnt much of a problem. science, finish up section c, n review qestions, mag said they were easy, so i guess its ok. theres d n t too. and not to forget art and history! fine fine, i better start on my hw, or i'll die!


I Dream - Taufik Batisah


In my mind
I can climb
All the mountains that surround me
My spirits there, where eagles dare to fly


In my heart
There's a spark
That can light the world around me
An open door, where I am sure dreams are


It doesn't matter if I win
Or the colour of my skin
Cause the race is all about
Believing in yourself


Chorus 1:
And I dream
I can run
Like the wind
And be strong
When my heart just wants to give in
I dream
I can be
The hero that's in me
When I dream, I dream


If there s a time
In your life
When the odds are so against you
There's no defeat, if all you keep is pride
First or last
Slow or fast
There's a dignity that makes you
Keep driving on, when world s have come apart


It doesn't matter rich or poor
Or the things you’ve done before
Cause the race is all about
Believing in yourself


Chorus 2:
And I dream
I can run
Like the wind
And be strong
When my heart just wants to give in
I dream
I can be
The hero that s in me
When I dream, I dream


I dream
Of a moment
That forever will be golden
When the torch is passed
Only dreams will last
That are shared by everyone


And I dream
I can run
Like the wind
And be strong
When my heart just wants to give in
I dream
I can be
The hero that s in me
When I dream, I dream

well the exhibition on tuesday didnt go the least well... evrything didnt turn out well... the soccer bot, the video cam batt... haiz. n the fact that sum sec 1s dun even bother... even the arc survey. i heard this 1/2 girl telling sumone else that she can write short forms n nonsense for the arc survey... well, apparently, ur nonsense is not accepted at all... i was standing there with the surveys in my hand. i was looking at her n forcing a smile. she looked at me n said... "actually u can write short form, but dun write nonsense" n i asked her which class she was frm, ok... 1/2. well, that wasnt vry pleasant, is it?


i've been doing my hw in the arc rm for the last two days... n i found it easier... coz it isnt so distracting unlike home, when my bro wudnt get off my back. so today, without debby n su hui's help, matilda, liz n i wudnt have solved the question... haha thx =]! actually lynette is a better class chair than i tght.. after a period of only a week? she has actually impressed me... haha yeah, i said it, impressed... haha its not that no one impresses me.. but its like.. she plays only a small character in class, but she turned out to b the class chair, which was unexpected. n shes handling it pretty well... i think there is still hope. thank you! well, 2/3, thank lynette for cleaning the classroom for YOU. she arranged the tables n chairs, wiped the computer desk n ohp. so thank her.... i shall thank lynette now... THANKS LYNETTE!!! haha


anyone realized the science lab had mosquitoes? i was bitten twice. cheryl, four. so many mosquitoes in tp now. even my hse... hmmmm... thats y they're fogging the place. like WOW! haha, im being sarcastic.

ok... so the exhibition didnt go too well.... the sec 1s were much interested in the race robot. liz n matilda said there was sumone who had potential, ok... anyway.... i went looking for sec 1s, but they didnt seem interested, at least sum of them, as for those who said they were gg, they didnt in the end.. argh.


i still have a chinese ca that totally slipped off my mind. y is evryone saying that its an exam? isnt it a ca? bleah... whatever it is, its han yu pin yin n han zi. yeah, thats all. but still have to study lar. whole of 1B. great... n i hvnt started... i m considerably stupid n i might fail, who knows? argh... i'm gonna die man.


i'm class comm member, again... well, lynette's the class chair n mag's the vice. well, things seem to b ok... im sure lynette will do a good job =] this time, im only a class comm MEMBER, phew~ im not secretary liao... the other comm member is yeehui aka mushroom. haha, both of us were only told to make sure pple do their duty, we dun have to do anything bsides that i guess, haha... XD


i love the song unwritten, by natasha bedingfield, it has a nice chorus. haha. and i agree with debby, blue writes smart lyrics... haha, now i really want the natasha bedingfield album, unwritten. haha, nvm, forget i said that. heehee =D


i hvnt been playing ffx. haha, i think i have to wait forever to play again. too busy to play. n i guess i wun b too obsessed abt ffx liao, debby shud b glad now. i still obsessed with ffx lar, but NOT THAT obsessed. like yeah... haha


the writing robot is done liao, thanx to anne marie... i didnt do much, did vry little. blah... she did most of the programming n the building.... ok... haha i hope there will b more sec 1s cuming to the exhibition 2mrw. coz all four robots will b displayed and all. mushroom seemed really interested when i told her abt the robots... haha... ok...


Unwritten - Natasha Bedingfield


I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned


Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find


Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten


Oh, oh, oh


I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way


Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find


Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins


Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten


Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find


Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins


Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten


Oh, yeah, yeah

THANKS DELLE, DONNA, DANIELLE, GERALDINE, CELINE, YEE HUI N BEATRICE FOR THE PRESENTS! AND THANKS TO ALL FOR THOSE BIRTHDAY WISHES!!! :)


ok, it is my birthday... didnt expect anyone to remember except audrey ho, coz her birthday's today too.. haha, i forgot my own birthday myself, i didnt really expect anyone to remember, so yeah....


today, during english, i volunteered to go get the dictionaries frm class to the av room, but i didnt make it, coz gretchen n sharlene didnt allow me to go at all, coz it was my birthday and all, n i dun think that shudnt b the way man. nvm... n i dun think a cake wud b necessary for me man. its like... no one eats it, on the other hand, i think that i have been eating birthday cakes like for the past 13 years n it seems that having a birthday cake, it doesnt really seem that important, at least to me. if i have offended anyone who thinks the other way, then im vry sry, but this is my personal opinion. u may not think its a waste of money, but i think that it is, even though our family spends that kind of money to make us happy. but its just that even if i try to make myself forget all the unhappy things on my birthday, i cant. its like i cant help it. i keep reminding myself to try to make things better n easier for evryone, n it doesnt seem to work, but i kept trying. so i guess the cake was to make one at least a little happier... arhhhh nvm.


im still stuck... in 2004, i m so not used to wat is ahead for me. so yeah. not sure how to b a senior is one point. n the rest, its coz i have to work really hard this year, harder than psle. no. 1, its streaming this year n no. 2, dun need to change my cca, i guess u shud know wat im tokin abt. yeah... i juz think that..... nvm.


maybe this year isnt so bad after all, except we had to move to st mikes, n mrs siow said we might have to wait for four weeks, or a month, for that girl's leg to recover. ok... but why is it always our class? lets see, we had 5 english teachers, 2 maths teachers, 2 science n changed our classroom once last year, n now we're changing our classroom again, temporarily. ok... n o yeah... the teachers of 2/3... yeah, we've got


form teachers: mrs wong n mrs seah
english: mrs stephen
chinese: ms tan poh yoke
maths: mrs wong
science: mrs tay yit ming
geography: ms jaqueline yip
history: mrs gail siow
lit: ms audrey chye
d n t: mrs seah (but i dun know if there r gonna b two teachers)


so there u have it. our teachers r pretty ok... yeah.


anyway, i think theres gonna b a war btween two cliques in 2/3. great... JUST GREAT. i was pretty mad at wat happened today, during english, not cause gretch n sharlene stopped me frm getting the dictionaries, but sumtin else that happened, when we finished the lesson n was on the way to class, n wat i heard when i was in the canteen. wat i hoped for will never ever happen. i'm stuck in between my friends and wats right. i really wished u all cud understand the meaning of class spirit. in case u all hvnt noticed, we 2/3 do lack class spirit.


i know i shudnt b saying all these, esp on my birthday. its too much, i know. n u may think im wrong. or watever.


personally, i think that u all shudnt b so ignorant to wats gg on arnd u. n wat u all r trying to do, is ridiculous. i speak for myself, n i dun care if u agree or not. u all wanna go against each other bcoz of such a trivial matter? n guess wat? its only the beginning of term one?

ok...

so yar, my grandma is back

n i might change the song on my blog to this song, Suteki Da Ne click to play

as for the chalet, i did have fun. coz i went to wild wild wet n escape theme park. well i went to escape alone. which wasnt as fun lar... but i went for the go kart twice. first time, i was overtaken. then the second time i went on, i was abt to overtake the person in front of me, but he was blocking the right side. argh....
n not to forget it was pouring n pouring, on n off. i had fun alone... went for rides alone. revolution- alone, flipper - alone. ok, i got used to it sumhow. so no feelings hurt

the stoopid flamer on the arc blog:

if u think that using my name to tag debby's tag board is gonna make evryone think it was really me who said all those, then u are so darn wrong. f*** off, loser

i cooked dinner today. veggies n steamed fish... ok, it didnt taste too bad, but i tink i'll may not b able to b to b a good housewife after all, haha.

my grandma's in the emergency ward now... bcoz her right leg swollen. my mum's bf went down to the hospital n i cooked dinner, thanks to my aunt's supervision. harhar... well, i do hope everything is ok. she has diabetes, so thats why her leg swelled... but she hasnt seen the doctor yet... still queing... she might have to be warded in the hospital... ok... juz received the news, she has been admitted to hospital.... argh!!!

why did things like these happen?

sometimes... i'm a really spoilt brat, so immature... sigh, i feel like dying now... how great!!! n 2mrw, i still have that 4day-3night chalet at downtown. my grandma wasnt gonna stay over, but i dun know.... i will rather stay at home than go to the chalet. she'll b left home alone, if she is not warded n doesnt stay over at my aunt's place at trellis towers. sigh...

the whole thing is a mess, i never expected it to happen now
please don't....

i think she'll b laughing now, at how things turned out for me. i really judged her wrongly... she was not the goody two shoes i tght, u changed... for the worst...

i don't care about you
you can laugh all you want abt it
but you wanna know wat?
you are the worst person i've ever met
you're the worst friend

go ahead and laugh
about my tragedy and failure
i don't care abt you ONE BIT!
I HATE YOU!