[they won =)]

watched 5 episodes of csi season 1 and i've come to realised so much more.

well in the 5th episode, this guy killed his friend when they were both under the influence of drugs and stuff. both of them were hallucinating and yeah he ended up suffocating his best friend and thus, killing him. quite sad though. and he was just so shocked to know and what he said was just kinda inspiring.. well, if human beings were selfless, i wonder what would happen.

i just heard the atlanta team won the champion alliance! haha very happy and relieved since i heard about the autonomous last night.

today is the 29th. the 29th of april. well, its nothing special, i just seem to think of it as a day of many events. maybe too much of csi just made me all whacked and my head starts to spin.

the whole final fantasy thing starts after i watched the 1000 words video. and i spread the video to amelia, gerri, matilda and mag. well, mag said the words didnt go with the mouth. gerri said the same. amelia said the graphics were superb, so did matilda. matilda said they had good expressions but their movements were too stiff. well, i only know that the computer graphics (cg) were good and yeah, they portrayed their emotions through their expressions really well.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=MKkzYlX-Owo&search=final%20fantasy%20X%201000%20words

feel like going on a shopping spree for games after the exams. haha, not as if i had the money but i feel so deprived now. haha

[where are you now?]

yay! i'm talking to gina online now... they just got to atlanta. missed their flight to atlanta but joined dom and the rest on the second flight. lucky...

they're working on the robot now... and they have three days until the competition. hope they don't wear out before the game. its gonna be against 49 teams! a few times more difficult than it was in delaware. well, don't give up!

just got home from english exam. seriously, the compo titles were boring, so were the compre passages. the compre was all about history. hitler, then WWII.

had ice blended grape for the very first time today. still sipping from it. its sweet and nice.yiqi introduced it to me today after school.

talking to gina and shihui now... i miss them! ahhh... haha ah well

was just looking through some final fantasy stuff when i suddenly felt the urge to listen to the ffx theme. but i couldnt find it anywhere!!! maybe it was deleted even before i transferred it to this com... so yeah...

Final Fantasy - To Zanarkand

it's really nice. and gina's gone... sleeping... its like 12.50am there.... and they just got there an hour ago.

either my blog is too big or blogger seriously have some problems. i updated this blog yest, and the entry is still not published. well, this blog is 2 years old. well i'm sure xiaxue's blog is much older... right?

[unwritten]

if you have been to mag's blog, you probably think it was pikachu. that is, if you read her tagboard. haha i think, THINK, i know who it is. HAHA its quite hilarious though...

they left this morning. and i didnt answer the call!!!! i was just demoralised for the entire day. seriously... i was so darn sad today i seemed so unusual. dom called at 2am yest and gina joined in the conversation like an hour later. then they made me go to bed. so i said i would sleep for like an hour but waddya know? even with three alarms (including gina's call) i was still unable to open my eyes and answer the phone. i didnt even hear it! damn. so i awoke at 6.50am and was just so pissed with myself and was just damn damn damn sad. demoralised for the ENTIRE day. really wanted to puch myself man!

since the flight was around 6.30am this morning, i guess they reached tokyo at about 2.30pm or so unless they couldnt find the gate and delayed everyone. if the flight was not delayed this time for like 8 hours, they would be in america in 11-12 hours. so that means they're definitely still on their way to america from japan, but are almost there. couple of hours to go. they would be in america by 2-3am then the flight from wherever they're arriving from japan to atlanta, maybe an hour, 2 hours at most? and they will finally arrive in atlanta at 5-6am. well, it takes about a day to get there. so gina must must must sms me when she gets there... she said she would... but she'll probably be too tired... since they'll be there at 5-6am (sgt) it would be 4-5pm at atlanta. haha i'm so glad my phone has that special clock with practically every country's time and stuff so yeah... but i dont think i'll be able to see them online that often.... they would be, when i'm in school at 12pm. sheesh. dont know if gina will email me a few hours after she's there. ah well, dont blame her if she cant.

how was my day? other than it being demoralising, it was just as boring without anything else going on. hmmmmm, i played warcraft today? yeah i did and its the best method to forget everything else, especially everything that just troubles me. i hope i'm not immune to it soon.

ever since that exam thing that happened, i have been trying so hard to keep her outta my sight. because as long as she knows my presence, there's more to say and they're probably untrue for all i care. sheesh. can you imagine? i have another year before i graduate.... why do i seem so eager to graduate???? oh my gosh...

english exam tomorrow and wish me all the best. just hope i make it through. since i'm weird, i will write weird stuff and thus, weird grades. haha okay no such things as weird grades, but yeah hope i don't write anything weird.

ah well shall go sleep now bye! and all the best for the exams!

[atlanta.]

the smart team is gonna fly off in a few hours! ahhh gonna miss them. and hope they do well there, but more importantly, they have lots of fun and have a safe trip. gina, dom ans shihui are... sick! well, i hope the rest arent... but yeah.

although i'm not flying this time, but it was a lot of fun fooling around with the other three, namely dom, tx and en chou. on sat night, they (the three of them) had a war in the it lab. throwing those racquet balls at each other. bleagh. see what happens when you work late at night and you lose your sanity? haha joking.... but yeah that was that. haha. it was fun working with them though.

after spending an hour on the class blog, it was finally up and operational. so yeah, go to the 3/8 blog if you can... yeah and read the stuff mostly zong and i post. whee

ahhh so late liao but i dare not sleep. because i dont wanna miss it when the call comes at 5am. yes, around 5am. its quite saddening... i wanna go see them off, so i made gina call me at 5am later. i'm supposed to be sleeping so when she calls, i ANSWER the call. but i'm just afraid i wont even get to answer the call. then i'll be damn damn damn sad. but she said she'll sms me when she gets there. haha how thoughtful... i want an email everyday too! haha joking... but yeah... i want an email too!

argh.... i'm gonna miss them like hell after they leave. haha it's gonna be boring for the next ten days, and with the exams, life cannot get anymore boring. well, hope i survive the next 10 days! haha

ah well, shall stop here then... good night and bye!

[apology]

pe was hell today, although it could be considered as one of the slackiest lessons. because i was sick and just didnt ask her for a scale down, woah! 2 more rounds. haha. probably due to my lack of sleep and my recent flu, it has been quite terrible.

do i really seem that petty? haha i dont know. i seriously dont know how others deem me as they do. i get funny thoughts in my head about how annoying i can actualle be. but as you can see, i try not to care.

----------------------

sometimes, its even worse apologizing not knowing what you did in the first place. well i don't know. i just find it hard to comprehend what 'you' said. why it probably took 'you' so long, as long as a few years to realise it, or 'you' didnt know 'you' were at least a yr late? i'm just starting to wonder if you meant what 'you' said. but i'm trying not to ponder.

i'm quite sick and tired of whatever that has been happening. for some reason, i'm just stressed. it's sudden. it's probably due to what has been happening lately and all. sigh. i've lost the motivation for almost anything. and its when i need it the most. gee.

and here comes the angelin part. haha. since she was telling me she hoped to read something about her here... okay.. angie, shes loves hugs. at the start of the school year, i would always expect a 'briana-jie-jie, can i have a hug?' from angelin, and yes, i would give her a hug. although she wants a hug from gerri everyday too, gerri just refuses to give it to her haha. until there was once when angelin made gerri owe her a hug for a piece of graph paper. haha. gerri never returned that hug to her for at least a week, until she finally did, no idea why but yeah, anie is kinda cute when she's like that, gives you the idea of a kid, who just likes to hug people. haha i hope that's long enough :)

[disappointed. knocked out]

i've finally cooled down after what happened. well, maybe i have. but it's just rude thinking about it.

exams next week. and they're flying off next week too. all of us will need all the luck we can have yeah?

a bit stuck now. either i've forgotten how it was like or i'm just emotionless. i dont even know what the heck is wrong with me. if you want to know how i fee now, i can't really be too sure. it's just confusing trying to explain.

this is definitely something worth not resting in peace if i ever died. its so incomplete and in fragments. so am i. thats why i cant piece myself together now, and be myself once again. has what they said really affected me that much? i wonder... i'm not that sure if i really managed to absorb whatever that happened lately. yeah... maybe i'm not even sure what happened. but just living each day. without a purpose. i feel tired all of a sudden.

i want to sleep. i want to sleep so badly. i miss that feeling of not bothering about anything but just living in my dreams.

runaway this time without you

---------------------------

Straightjacket Feeling - The All-American Rejects

Back me down from backing up
Hold your breath now it's stacking up
Etched with marks, but I can deal
And you're the problem and you can't feel
Try this on, straightjacket feeling
so maybe I won't be alone
Take back now, my life you're stealing

Yesterday was hell
But today I'm fine without you
Run away this time without you
And all I ever thought you'd be
That face is tearing holes in me again

Trust you is just one defense
off a list of others, you don't make sense
Beg me time and time again
to take you back now, but you can't win
Take back now, my life you're stealing

Yesterday was hell
But today I'm fine without you
Run away this time without you
And all I ever thought you'd be
That face is tearing holes in me
but today I'm fine without you
Run away this time without you
And all the things you put me through
I'm holding on by letting go of you

And when that memory slips away
There'll be a better view from here
And only lonesome you remains
and just the thought of you I fear
it falls away

Yesterday was hell
But today I'm fine without you
Run away this time without you
And all I ever thought you'd be
That face is tearing holes in me
but today I'm fine without you
Run away this time without you
And all the things you put me through
I'm holding on by letting go of you

[falling faster]

i'm angry. annoyed.

SHE has no right to say i don't care about my exams, neither does SHE have the right to say i don't study. may i know where have i gone wrong now? is it wrong for me to not be pissed off? do i not have the right to be pissed off? its not as if i want to care. i also want to not care about it. but it's just too far.

wtf
wtf
wtf
wtf
wtf
wtf
wtf

ARGH. IT'S NOT AS IF YOU HAVE ANY SAY IN IT. JELOUSY OR NOT, IT'S JUST WRONG. I'VE BEEN SO MAD FOR TWO DAYS.

yes this has pissed me off so badly for two freaking days. SHE has an attitude we don't like. i dont think she'll get insensitivity, when she says we're being insensitive.

come to think of it, i definitely have endured for too long.

[i don't know what i can for you]

its good friday! actually, it's 1.10am now.... bleagh just watched memoirs of a geisha, again. yeah i think this is either the second or third time watching it.
bleagh.

ss is just weird. the week before, he said it was a ss quiz, then on the day itself, it's groupwork and now homework. bleagh?

i'll try to go back to who i was before. so that i dont have to go through so much now. its tiring to keep reminding myself to forget.

i was just so upset and stressed in the afternoon. but i guess after watching a few bleach episodes and crapping with a few people online, i felt much better. but i dont see the point in doing so of course. its not helping me... well it did help make me feel better. was just stressed up for no good reason. sheesh.

2.4km run tomorrow. or the day after. well, just saturday. gonna die. just hope i have the motivation on saturday to keep running and not think about it, because thinking about running when you're running is a bad idea. you'll start to get tired, and might even feel athat you cant do it. i have to find something to be on my mind when i'm running.

i thought of playing a little warcraft, but i think i'll pass tonight. shall go sleep. was intending to sleep this afternoon since i've been staying up late each night. but was too stressed to even sleep, so i'll go sleep now. thats after i blog of course.

in addition to the stress this afternoon, it was a guilty afternoon, since something went missing and savina's feeling guilty too. well, its not exactly her fault because shes been cooped up with a lot, and i mean a lot, of work. i kinda feel guilty because i havent been doing as much as her and i cant contribute in any way. i just always have this sense of insecurity, just feel as though i havent done enough to help anyone.

did anyone else know about this nightmare i had two nights ago? it was about my brother and i running from this bunch of zombies. well, we were trying to escape the zombies in the building. so had to take the lift down then the entrance. and you should know how lifts can be freaky, especially if you watch lots of those horror movies where these group of people, trying to escape the building infested with weird things, they take the lift and when the doors open on the ground floor, you see more of those freaky things. well, it happened and i was scared to death. so when we 'escaped' the building, there were even more outside! OUT IN THE SUN! oh gee, so i awoke that instant and the clock was 2.20am. i was just afraid of going back to sleep, in case i had the same dream again.

why i started talking about my nightmare was because i suddenly had a nightmare after the series of weird and whacked dreams. and trust me, none of them didnt turn out right. it was so twisted and not pleasant. i was either running from i dont know what or just going around do something i dont even know what. and then came that zombie nightmare. sheesh. i hope i'll have a peaceful night and for once in a million years, sweet dreams. haha.

there is not a single person online, besides one american friend. well, there are people online, but not online online. some away, some busy. i'm the only freak online lar. aiyah, very bored and a little lonely. no one to talk to. boohoo. haha okay lar, i'll go sleep. good night.

-------------------------

Stab My Back - The All-American Rejects

Now we're broken on the floor
She just wants me to share her
It hasn't been this way before
She just wants me to dare her

The phone rings
And she screams

Stab my back
It's better when I bleed for you
Walk on me
It never was enough to do

I can't get past her
Falling fast
It's true
It hasn't done a lot for you

And every time he held you close
Yeah, were you thinking of me
When I needed you the most
Well I hope that you're happy

The phone rings
And she screams

Stab my back
It's better when I bleed for you
Walk on me
It never was enough to do

I can't get past her
Falling fast
It's true
It's better when I bleed for you

I hope that love he gave you
Was just enough to save you
You nearly broke my heart
Just look at what you're tearing apart

Stab my back
It's better when I bleed for you
Walk on me
It never was enough to do

I can't get past her
Falling fast
It's true
It hasn't done a lot for you

It's better when I bleed for you
It never was enough to do
It hasn't done a lot for you

[my anata]

back here again after more than a week. i was just either too busy or too lazy to blog. i think more like lazy, than busy. and i feel weird blogging once again.

sick today. down with gerri's flu. haha headache and tired. then runny nose and cough. pain in chest and stomachache. ugh.

savie and i went for the vid editing session today. it was kinda fun but we werent taught anything. it was kinda fun because georgina, khym and ena were playing with the photo booth which was totally hilarious with the effects and all. then savie was getting all fed up with the titles and transitions which was really funny. haha. savie is feeling angry today... awww... actually not... she didnt seem so mad actually. we're finally done witht he video. after sitting there tugging our hair for three hours.

well the two experts from temasek poly didnt really know what they were doing... they taught us to capture the video and then when we asked them how to do certain stuff like delete the subtitles and change the position of the scrolling credits. well, because we were using the apple mac, it took us some time to adapt to it. it's not windows! neither is it adobe premiere. bleagh, just more familiar with adobe premiere. but apple computers are so damn nice and white. and cool too, but not so user-friendly. i still prefer to use windows though, but i dont mind using an apple computer with the windows software. btw, one of the experts was playing music from her BLACK ipod NANO. can you sense that prick of jealousy? fine, its an ipod nano, but it got all worse when i knew it was BLACK. oh gee. but yeah i dont think they really knew a lot about the software. but heck, we finished the video.

the ij band concert last friday was okay. gerri and i were kinda pissed because some stuff happened. we were almost late, so we had to sit RIGHT at the back and the people in front were tall and were constantly moving their big heads here and there. not to mention the murmuring in the back, ugh. then after the band concert, it was a little bad. i still feel bad about it although matilda kinda stressed it isnt my fault and all. i still think it is anyway. witnessed lots of scandalous stuff going on on friday night. haha i was so punkish that night that i looked so out with them. even matilda looked nice. she was wearing this nice top with a skirt. since she's slim, she looked very nice, and taller too. stef looked nice too, although she was still wearing that denim skirt again. mag looked nice too, wearing heels and a nice skirt. liz was in a tshirt and a pair of jeans, casual but cool. gerri was wearing this pair of nice mango pants with a pink tshirt and a nice brown mango jacket. haha me? jeans, tactics shoes, black polo shirt with the hood i bought in ny over, hoop earrings, two ponytails and the usual crumpler. i'm the thorn in the bed of roses (gerri, mag, liz, matlda, stef)

no chinese today, since weng lao shi didnt come. slacked for two whole periods. and was just spending the entire two periods chatting with jess, tessa and val. about the band concert and a little campus superstar. then amanda comes over with her homework journal asking us for names. she wants to collect a 1000 names. haha it was kinda fun thinking of names to add to her collection.

it was a lousy week last week. so much happened and i found myself so irritated and stressed to tears almost everyday. and i was so tired at the end of the day. sigh. difficult week it has been...

i hope this post kinda brings this blog back to life again. it has been hibernating for like a week and the black and white bg is probably making it seem even more dead.

sheesh, trying to catch up now, with stuff that has been happening. i wished i was hibernating just like my blog. gee... thinking about how rough my week had been is demoralising. sigh.

---------------------

Quickie:
Sometimes it's tough to really figure out what needs to be done. Give yourself time.

Overview:
Say yes to any and all invitations -- the more colorful and outre, the better. The stars promise that a lost opportunity may reappear when you least expect it -- but you have to be out there to see it.

how much time will i actually need? i think it would be much better if i get it done and over with so i dont have to worry about it all the time.

Daily Teen:
Perfect symphonies require coordination, practice and attention to detail. You've got the fact-finding, problem-sniffing, big vision to make it all happen just right. So cue the music and lights, maestro.

erm. okay.

---------------------

Where'd You Go - Fort Minor

Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you've been gone

She said somedays I feel like shit
Somedays I wanna quit and just be normal for a bit
I don't understand why you have to always be gone
I get along but your trips always feel so long
And I find myself trying to stay by the phone
Because your voice always helps me to not feel so alone
But I feel like an idiot, working my day around a call
And when I pick up I don't have much to say, so

I want you to know it's a little fucked up that
I'm stuck here waiting, at times debating
Telling you that I've had it with you and your career
Me and the rest of the family here singing

Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever that you've been gone
Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever that you've been gone
Please
Come back home

You know, the place where you used to live
Used to barbeque with burgers and ribs
Used to have a little party every halloween
with candy by the pile but now
you only stop by every once in a while
Shit
I find myself just filling my time
With anything to keep the thought of you from my mind
I'm doing fine and I plan to keep it that way
You can call me if you find that you have something to say
And I'll tell you

I want you to know it's a little fucked up that
I'm stuck here waiting, at times debating
Telling you that I've had it with you and your career
Me and the rest of the family here singing

Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you've been gone
Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you've been gone
Please Come back home

I want you to know it's a little fucked up that
I'm stuck here waiting, no longer debating
Tired of sitting and hating and making these excuses
For why you're not around, and feeling sorta useless
It seems that one thing has been true all along
You don't really know what you've got till its gone
I guess I've had it with you and your career
When you come back I won't be here and you can say

Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever that you've been gone
Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you've been gone
Please Come back home

Please Come back home

Please Come back home

Please Come back home

Please Come back home